


How Can You Say No?

by Missicle



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Assault, Barebacking, Blow Jobs, Cheating, Coming Out, Developing Relationship, Dirty Talk, Drama, Drunk Sex, Drunken Confessions, Emotional Baggage, Eventual Fluff, Falling In Love, First Time Blow Jobs, Flashbacks, Flirting, Heartbreak, I am literally the worst at tags, Infidelity, Jealousy, Light BDSM, Loss of Virginity, Love Confessions, Love Triangles, M/M, Masturbation, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Coital Cuddling, Public Blow Jobs, Rape, Recovery, Rimming, Smut, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships, oikage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-07
Updated: 2018-07-14
Packaged: 2018-11-10 01:58:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 30
Words: 119,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11117502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Missicle/pseuds/Missicle
Summary: How, out of all the college towns in Japan, did Kageyama Tobio unknowingly wind up moving to the one that Oikawa Tōru lived in?





	1. An Unexpected Encounter

“Well, well, look who it is”, purred a familiar voice. Kageyama had been sitting alone in a coffeeshop for nearly two hours, working on a paper and fueling himself with caffeine as he tried his best to concentrate. But he recognized that voice. He felt a shiver run down his spine as his eyes darted up and saw the cocky wink being thrown to him by none other than Oikawa Tōru. 

Oikawa looked good-- perhaps a little too good-- as he sauntered over to the table his former kouhai was seated at. He wore a navy cardigan over a red v-neck t-shirt, faded fitted jeans, sleek black (or were they dark brown?) sneakers, and his thick-rimmed glasses. His hair was neatly tousled and he walked with an air that clearly stated-- yes, he knows how attractive he is, and, yes, you are welcome to ogle. He pulled out the seat across from Kageyama and, with the strangest combination of aloofness and grace, threw himself down into it. 

“I'd heard you were going to college in town”, he said as he crossed one leg over the other, “but I never thought we’d actually run into each other-- and so far from home!” Kageyama wasn’t sure what to do. Should he continue his paper? Should he stop and try to make conversation? Should he just leave? As Oikawa had made himself comfortable, Kageyama returned his focus to the laptop screen in front of him. However, once Oikawa began to speak, Kageyama couldn't avoid looking up at his former senpai. 

“What are you doing here?”, Kageyama asked, trying to pull off an air of indifference. Oikawa grinned. “As if you don't know, Tobio-chan~. Do you expect me to believe you went to school ten hours from home, miraculously in the same city as me, without knowing your beloved senpai was here?” Heaving a heavy sigh, Kageyama slowly lowered his laptop screen until it shut. “Well”, the dark-haired man started, “since that’s exactly what happened… yes, that’s what I expect you to believe. Now, why are you _here?”_ Oikawa stuck out his lower lip in one of his trademark pouts. “Tobio-chan”, he said in an almost-baby voice, “You shouldn't be so ungrateful that your favorite person ever stopped by to say hello.” He looked around the room with a bored expression before turning back to Kageyama. “For your information”, he said, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose, “I teach at the middle school two blocks over.” Kageyama, who’d done his best to remain expressionless throughout their conversation, raised an eyebrow. _“You’re_ a _teacher?”_ , he asked in disbelief. Oikawa frowned. “Yes, baka-yama, I’m a teacher. I teach history and- surprise, surprise- oversee the volleyball club.” 

Kageyama began packing up his things. He carefully stowed his laptop in his messenger bag and began putting his notes away. “So why aren’t you at school now?”, Kageyama asked, double-checking his watch. Yep- 2:10 in the afternoon. No middle school let out that early. Oikawa tossed his head back and stared at the ceiling. “Honestly”, he hummed, “are you always this thick? I swear, you haven't changed in the slightest since middle school.” Kageyama shoved his books in his bag with a little less care. “What, for not knowing your schedule, even though we haven't spoken in years?”, the younger man scoffed. Oikawa tilted his head back up, appraised Kageyama for a moment, then said, “No, dummy. It's spring break. No school for the kids and no work for me.” Kageyama nodded in understanding before abruptly standing up. “Well”, Kageyama said, “this has been… _somethi_ _ng_. But I'm afraid I have to go now.” Oikawa took a sip of his drink and waved his hand. “Don't worry about it”, he said in a manner so pleasant it made Kageyama’s skin crawl. “I'll go with you. I’ve got nothing better to do.” Kageyama rolled his eyes. “I’d rather you didn’t.”, he said bluntly. Oikawa leaned in and half-whispered, “Oh, come now, Tobio-chan, I don't believe that for a _second_ _."_ He punctuated his sentence with a wink and a coy smile. Kageyama scoffed and pushed past the brunette. 

“So what are _you_ doing here?”, Oikawa asked as the two made their way out of the coffee shop and onto the sidewalk. “You already know”, Kageyama answered curtly, “why bother asking?” Oikawa scrunched his nose and stuck out his tongue. “Stupid Kageyama, that’s a really conceited assumption on your end. I _said_ , I’d _heard_ you were going to school here. I don’t know what for, dumbass.” As the pair stopped at a crosswalk waiting for the light to change, Kageyama-- who had been silent for a long moment-- finally spoke. “Sports writing”, he said abruptly. “I’m in school to try to become a sports writer. I only have a semester and a half until I graduate.” Oikawa raised an eyebrow. “Eh???”, he asked in a mocking tone, “Tobio-kun, you know that in order to be a sports writer you need to actually be able to put together a coherent sentence, right?” Kageyama glared at Oikawa. The light changed and Kageyama stepped quickly into the street. “Okay, well, it has been awful seeing you, as always. Hope it doesn’t happen again. Bye!”, he said as he suddenly turned a corner. 

Oikawa, of course, was not deterred and followed after his underclassman. “Tobio-chan, you’re so funny!”, he called as he jogged for a moment to catch up with the younger man. As he slowed back to a walk, he caught Kageyama’s gaze and said in a low voice, “...to think that you could get rid of me so easily.” Kageyama felt his face flush. He was irritated and annoyed and wished that Oikawa would find someone else to harass. 

The two walked in silence together for a few minutes before Oikawa continued. “So, where are we going?”, he asked. Kageyama glared at him once more and said, “ **I** am going home. I don’t care where you go, as long as it’s away.” Oikawa smiled broadly and continued walking beside Kageyama in silence. 

As the two followed the sidewalk into a park, Oikawa smiled cheekily. “Kageyama”, he started, “Why are you playing this game? Do you think I forgot the last time we saw each other?” Immediately Kageyama’s face turned crimson as he shoved his hands in his pockets and quickened his pace. “Surely you don’t think I could forget something like that, do you?”, Oikawa pressed, an almost convincing look of concern and innocence spread across his face. 

“S- SHUT UP!”, Kageyama barked. 

Oikawa looped his arm in his kouhai’s. “Oh, Tobio-chan, there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. You certainly weren’t the first confession I received, nor were you the last. It’s what happens when you’re cursed with good looks and a great personality like mine.” 

Kageyama couldn’t even bring himself to laugh at what he would normally perceive to be a joke; Oikawa’s 'personality' could not be classified as 'great' by anyone  _but_ Oikawa Tōru himself, and, given any other circumstance, the dark-haired man would not have hesitated to point this out. But Kageyama's mind was elsewhere, against his own desires.

 

\---

 

Kageyama Tobio had been seated in a bench at a park near his house for almost an hour, obsessively checking his phone every other minute. When his phone wasn’t in hand, his eyes were darting around the area, scanning, waiting, hoping. In the time that he had sat there, the sun had completely set, leaving him feeling small and alone. 

Still he sat. 

He jumped as if he’d been wounded when his phone vibrated and frantically opened the messaging client. It wasn’t what he’d hoped: his mother was texting asking when he’d be home. He didn’t bother texting back; the answer to that question was one he could not possibly know at this point. 

Not until _he_ got here. 

Another twenty minutes passed when the streetlight flickered, drawing Kageyama back to reality. Slowly, the dark haired boy stood up. He looked around one more time, checked his phone once more, and reluctantly turned to leave. Only after he took his first step did he finally hear the voice of another person. 

“Oi!”, came the voice from the darkness,“Tobio-kun!”. Kageyama stopped and turned around to see Oikawa jogging towards him. Once the brunette stopped before him, Kageyama looked to the ground. “You’re late”, he mumbled. “Am I?”, asked Oikawa. Kageyama wasn’t sure if he was being sarcastic or not, but he responded anyway. “Yes. I’ve been here for over an hour”, he said, still not looking up at Oikawa, who simply shrugged. “You must really have wanted to see me, huh?”, the older boy teased, “What, are you finally about to confess?”. Kageyama looked up and solemnly replied, “Yes.” 

Oikawa, who had been smiling grandly with his eyes closed, opened his eyes as his grin slowly fell off of his face. “...eh?”, he simply asked, as the stark look of shock overtook him. Kageyama continued to look into Oikawa’s eyes. “Yes.”, he said again simply, “I am about to confess.” 

Kageyama took a deep breath, exhaled slowly through his nose, and continued. “I heard you leave for college next week, and I decided I’d tell you. I think the pain of rejection would be easier to deal with than the pain of the regret I’d feel from not telling you.” He paused. “I like you. I liked you in middle school, but that feeling went away after you went to high school. But after all our matches against Seijoh… I can’t help it. I can't hold it back anymore. I like you.” Oikawa drew his left hand up to cup his chin, covering his mouth. After a brief moment, he moved his right hand to his hip and let his left fall, revealing a smile. 

“Tobio-kun”, he said in a sing-song voice, “You are not as subtle as you think you are.” Kageyama raised an eyebrow. “What are you talking about?”, he asked. “I knew you liked me in middle school”, started Oikawa, “You never stopped staring, and no matter how much I pushed you away you always wanted to practice. But, to be honest, I’m really surprised that you like me now. I mean-- don’t get me wrong-- I _am_ practically perfect, but I really thought you and Chibi-chan were together.” Kageyama felt his face go red. “N- no…”, he mumbled. 

Oikawa stepped towards Kageyama, closing the gap between the two. He put his arms around his kouhai’s waist and pulled him closer; in response, Kageyama’s hands wandered up to Oikawa’s shoulders. “Tobio-kun”, he said again, “I’m leaving for college on Tuesday. It would be irresponsible to start dating someone knowing that it would be a long distance relationship. It would also be highly inconvenient, as all of the visiting would have to be done by me. As cute as you are, I’m sorry, I cannot give you what you’re looking for.” Kageyama’s gaze fell as he studied the ground and suppressed the tears that threatened to come forward. 

“However”, Oikawa said as he moved one hand to cup Kageyama’s chin, redirecting his gaze back to the eyes before him. “There’s no reason we can’t have a little fun, huh?”, he said with a soft smile. 

Kageyama could hear his heartbeat pounding in his ears as Oikawa leaned in, stopping just before his lips met those of the younger boy. “Remember this forever, Tobio-kun”, he said breathlessly, before pressing his lips up against Kageyama’s. 

Kageyama felt his legs go weak- he could hardly stand as Oikawa pressed harder against him. After a long moment, Oikawa repositioned his lips and gently parted Kageyama’s with his tongue. Kageyama reciprocated, hastily thrusting out his own tongue and wrapping his arms around Oikawa’s neck. The brunette pulled Kageyama closer, pressing the length of their bodies together. Through the deep kisses, he smiled; Kageyama was hard. Like, _really hard._ It had been a long while since Oikawa felt someone so excited to be with him. 

“Mmm-”, he said through their pressed lips. Kageyama allowed Oikawa to pull away, and Oikawa spoke. “Let’s go somewhere a little more private, huh?”, he purred. Kageyama bit his lip then nodded. Oikawa grabbed Kageyama’s hand and led him to the park’s men’s room, locking the door behind them once they entered. 

Oikawa turned and pressed his lips against the younger boy once more. As Kageyama returned his arms to Oikawa’s neck, the brunette slid his own down the dark-haired boy’s back, stopping once they were firmly planted on Kageyama’s ass. “Mmm, Tobio-chan”, Oikawa whispered, “what a lovely butt you have”. Kageyama didn’t know how to respond, but luckily he didn’t have to, as Oikawa kissed his kouhai once more. Oikawa teased Kageyama, licking and nipping his lips, sucking his tongue, and basically doing anything he could to play keep-away with his own tongue. The taller boy grinned when Kageyama let a frustrated moan escape.

Oikawa used that as an opportunity to break away from their liplock, squeezing Kageyama’s butt as he did. “Tobio-chan, come over here”, Oikawa said as he led Kageyama over to the counter. “Sit”, Oikawa instructed, and Kageyama obediently hoisted himself up onto the countertop. Oikawa grinned, staring down at Kageyama’s crotch. “I’m going to help you”, he declared, as he reached for the button to Kageyama’s pants. The dark-haired boy flinched as if he was expecting to be hurt when his senpai touched him, but Oikawa was uncharacteristically gentle. He slid Kageyama’s pants down below his butt, bringing his underwear down with them. Kageyama blushed profusely as his fully-erect member sprang out from under the fabric. 

“Don’t be embarrassed, Tobio-chan~”, Oikawa cooed in that sing-songy voice of his as his hand wrapped around Kageyama’s dick, “it’s okay. I know I’m gorgeous. You’re _hardly_ the first boy to have such a-- _ahem--_ _big_ crush on me!” Oikawa grinned as he began to slowly move his hand up and down Kageyama’s length. “Wow, Tobio-chan, you certainly are excited, huh?”, exclaimed Oikawa as he stroked the younger setter. Kageyama bit his lip, and Oikawa leaned in, kissing him once more. 

As they kissed, Oikawa’s movements quickened and Kageyama’s attention wavered from their mouths to the incredible sensation he was feeling below. A heavy heat was rising through his body, and he knew that it would all be over much sooner than he’d like. Oikawa knew this as well, and pulled away from their kisses once again. “Are you going to cum, Tobio-chan?”, Oikawa asked, grinning. Kageyama’s teeth grazed his bottom lip as he nodded. “Wow, you must _really_ like it when your senpai touches you, huh?”, the brunette continued, picking up speed for the finale. “You’re so lucky to have a senpai like me, who takes care of his setter-chan”, Oikawa purred. “Now… cum for me.” 

As if on command, Tobio came, squirting all over his t-shirt and dribbling down Oikawa’s knuckles. Oikawa giggled and turned to the faucet Kageyama was seated next to. “How lewd”, he laughed, shaking his head, “How absolutely perverted-- getting off to your senpai in a park bathroom!” 

Kageyama blushed as he jumped down off the counter, quickly pulling up his underwear and buttoning his pants before taking a paper towel to the mess he made on his shirt. “Um, Oikawa…”, Kageyama started as he rubbed the liquid out as best as he could. “Do you want me to do something for you?”, the dark haired boy asked apprehensively. Oikawa grinned and clapped Kageyama on the back. “Nah, I’m good, thanks. Although-- like I said-- you’d better remember that forever.” Kageyama blushed harder and nodded. “I will”, he pledged. “Cool”, Oikawa remarked before unlocking the door and holding it open for the younger of the two. 

The two awkwardly said goodbye in the park’s entrance, and as Kageyama began walking away, Oikawa called out, “Tobio-chan~ Meet me here tomorrow, same time, if you want more!” Kageyama stopped dead in his tracks. He slowly peered over his shoulder, saw the jovial smile Oikawa put on, and nodded, before continuing his trek home.

 

\---

 

“Tobio-chan?”, Oikawa repeated, gripping the darker haired man's arm slightly tighter. Kageyama shook his head and turned back to Oikawa. “W- what?!”, he demanded, alarmed at having let his mind wander so far. 

Oikawa frowned. “Rude.”, he remarked. “Is this your place?”, the brunette asked, nodding to a large, three-story building the two were standing in front of. _‘How did we get here?’_ , Kageyama thought to himself, _‘How long was I lost in thought for?’_  

“If I say no, will you leave?”, Kageyama asked as he dug through his bag for his keys. Oikawa grinned and shook his head. “Of course not, Tobio-chan~”. Kageyama sighed-- he found his keys and he couldn’t see any way of getting rid of Oikawa. As the two started into his building, the brunette stopped. “Are you doing anything tonight?”, Oikawa asked. Kageyama shook his head. “Hinata was supposed to come to town this weekend, but his coach called practice last minute, so my plans are cancelled.” _Wait. Why was he telling Oikawa this?_  

Oikawa held up two fingers and smiled broadly. “Lucky~☆”, he chimed, “Okay, I’m gonna go grab us some drinks. You order food, and we’ll meet back here.” 

As Oikawa dashed down the street, Kageyama stood on his stoop wondering what the hell just happened. 

It was supposed to be a normal day-- just doing the schoolwork that needed to be done. 

How did it end up with Oikawa Tōru coming to his apartment?

 

 


	2. Catching Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa Tōru returns to Kageyama's apartment, and the two men spend some time catching up.

Within an hour, Oikawa was back and the pizza had arrived.

Kageyama had been surprised when his phone rang; the number it displayed was one he was not familiar with. “Hello?”, he asked hesitantly into the mouthpiece. “Do you know how much work I had to go through to get your fucking number?”, the voice called back. Despite his harsh words, Oikawa’s voice was saccharine. “Oh, I'm downstairs, by the way, so come get me while I tell you”, Oikawa added before continuing, “When I got to the liquor store I realized that I have no clue what you drink. So I tried to call you and then realized you must’ve changed your phone number since, what, middle school?” Kageyama snorted. When he was a third year in high school, his parents decided to change their cell phone plan and with it, all their numbers. “So I texted a few people from our volleyball days and the first one to answer was-- eugh, Kuroo Tetsurō-- who happened to be with Kozume Kenma, who has Hinata Shōyō’s phone number, then Chibi-chan gave me your number. Geez, such a pain-- are you even coming?!”

Kageyama had just reached the first floor and could see Oikawa nonchalantly chatting away on the phone. He didn't bother to respond, choosing to open the door instead. Oikawa glared at him before ending the call. He handed the bag he was carrying to the younger man before striding in as if he knew where he was going.

 “So anyway”, Oikawa continued, not skipping a beat, “the point of my story is, I don't know what you drink so I got a few things and you’d better deal.” Kageyama nodded. “I'm sure it’ll be fine”, he said politely. “You're damn right it’ll be fine!”, Oikawa exclaimed indignantly as they ascended the second set of stairs. “So… you called Shōyō?”, Kageyama asked quietly. Oikawa rolled his eyes. _“Yes,_ I called Chibi-chan. Don't worry. I didn't tell him we were hanging out.” Kageyama nodded. They arrived at his apartment-- #302-- and Kageyama opened the door for Oikawa.

The apartment was small but stylishly furnished. “Wow”, Oikawa remarked as he kicked off his shoes, “Nice digs. Who knew Tobio-kun was an interior designer?” Kageyama smiled slightly as he stepped into his living room. “It's a little small”, the darker-haired man admitted, “but my uncle owns the building, so I'm only paying the utilities.” Oikawa nodded. “Sweet deal.” “Ah- um- do you want me to show you the place?”, Kageyama asked as he set Oikawa’s bag on the coffee table. “Mm?”, asked Oikawa, “You mean there’s more than just this?”. Kageyama nodded. With a shrug, Oikawa agreed to follow the dark-haired man through his apartment, where Tobio showed him the basics: the bathroom, his bedroom (which was, predictably, messy), and the kitchen area, before ending back up in the living room. “It’s cute”, Oikawa said, smiling as he threw himself down on the couch. “So, did you get food?”, he asked casually. Kageyama nodded and went into the kitchen to retrieve the pizza. “Do you need a glass or anything?”, he called out to Oikawa. The brunette shook his head. “Nope, I just picked up a few beers and some bacardi, nothing big.” Kageyama peeked into the living room. “So… won’t you need a cup for the bacardi?”, he asked flatly. Oikawa shrugged. “Whatever, it’s up to you. If you do bring cups though, make sure you bring two!”.

As Kageyama returned to the living room, carefully balancing two cups and two plates atop the pizza box, he said, “Well, I don’t really drink much, so I’m not sure that I’m really gonna need a glass.” Oikawa shrugged. “Suit yourself”, the brunette said dismissively, moving his bag off of the table so Kageyama could have room to set down the box. Kageyama distributed the cups and plates between the two of them while Oikawa removed his purchases from the bag. “As I said, I really have no idea what you drink”, the brunette said as he placed two six packs and a full bottle of bacardi on the table, “so I got a variety”. Kageyama appraised the purchases before nodding. “It’ll be fine. Like I said, I don’t really drink, so I don’t really have a preference or anything.” As Oikawa reached over and helped himself to a slice of pizza, he turned to the dark-haired man beside him. “So what does ‘I don’t really drink’ equate to? Do you drink rarely, or is this your first time drinking… are you even _old enough_ to drink?”, Oikawa asked, leaning closer to Kageyama with each question. The dark-haired man glared at his former senpai, “I am _too_ old enough to drink… Just how much older than me do you think you are?”. Oikawa shrugged, “Well, when we were in middle school you seemed like such a child, so… five, ten years, maybe?”. “That would’ve made the things we did _extremely_ illegal”, Kageyama muttered. “Ehh?”, asked Oikawa, “I didn’t hear you”. He’d gotten the gist of what the dark-haired man was saying, though, and smirked.

 “So-- like I asked before”, Oikawa repeated, “What do you mean when you say you don’t drink?”. Kageyama shrugged as he bit into his pizza. “I don’t drink often? Like, I’ll go out for drinks with friends and I’ll drink at parties and stuff, but it’s not like I come home after school and have a beer, or go out and get completely trashed.” “I see”, replied Oikawa. “Is there anything you prefer to drink?”, he asked inquisitively. Kageyama shook his head. “I normally just go with whatever the people I’m with are getting. So if they’re drinking beer, I’m drinking beer. If they’re having something mixed, so am I.” Oikawa nodded slowly before suddenly clapping his hand on Kageyama’s back. “Well, you’re in luck, Tobio-chan! I really like beer and have become somewhat of a connoisseur. I’ll teach you a little bit of what I know.” Kageyama nodded and bit into his pizza once more.

 “So, this one is just your typical barley-based beer. Nothing special. But, some people prefer crap like this, which is why I decided to get it.”, Oikawa said as he freed two bottles from their packaging. “This is probably the most sensible thing to start with, so you can see the difference between this one and the next.” Oikawa popped off the cap with a bottle opener he had attached to his keys and handed the bottle to the younger man. Kageyama took a sip then nodded. “I’ve had this before”, he said plainly. “And?”, asked Oikawa, “Is that what you like?” Kageyama shrugged. “I mean, it’s not bad”, he said, taking another sip, “And it’s probably what I get the most when I’m out. But it’s not like I’d ever drink this for the taste.” Oikawa nodded, “Well, let me know when you finish that and I’ll show you the next beer I brought.” Again Kageyama nodded. After a moment, he asked, “Do you want me to put on the tv?”. Oikawa laughed. “Sure”, the brunette said, “I thought it was a little quiet in here. We could use some background noise.”

 After some flipping around, Kageyama settled on a football game, though he left the volume low. “Are you into watching sports?”, Oikawa asked, raising an eyebrow. Kageyama shrugged indifferently. “Well, I mean, I _am_ trying to become a sports writer, but these are old games, so I don’t particularly care one way or another. But you said you wanted something for background noise. At the very least, you don’t have to really pay attention. It’s not like you’re missing a plot or anything.” Oikawa nodded in understanding. The two sat there, quietly eating their pizza, staring at the tv with their minds elsewhere.

 “So, Tobio-chan”, Oikawa started. Kageyama rolled his eyes. “Do you have to keep calling me ‘Tobio-chan’ and ‘Tobio-kun’? I’m an adult now”, he asked, blushing slightly. Oikawa grinned and rubbed the top of Kageyama’s head. “You’re so silly”, he laughed. “To me, you’ll always be my precious kouhai.” Again, Kageyama rolled his eyes. “So anyway”, Oikawa continued, “What’s been going on these past couple of years? I mean-- duh, you’ve been in school, but-- what _else?_ ”. Kageyama took a swig of his drink. He _really_ didn’t feel like going too in depth about his social life-- especially not today.

Eventually he shrugged. “I dunno. Not much, I guess. School’s pretty much been my sole focus since I left Karasuno. My parents are paying a lot, so I’m trying to do my best.” Oikawa sighed. “Bo-ring”, he called before bending forward and fishing out two more drinks. “Here, Tobio-chan, this is the other type of beer I brought. It’s called an IPA. It’s really popular right now.” Kageyama nodded, “I’ve heard of these, but I don’t think I’ve tried it.” Oikawa popped off the caps before handing Kageyama his. “They tend to be on the hoppier side”, the brunette said, taking a drink from his, “and this one has a hint of lemon in it, which I think is a pretty nice touch. Go ahead- try it.” Kageyama took a sip of his drink, though the face he made was confusing. He looked half-disgusted and half-impressed. “You’re right”, the dark-haired man said, smacking his lips together, “This is pretty hoppy. I mean, I’m assuming that the hop taste or whatever is what makes beer taste like beer. And if that last one was beer, this one’s more like _mega beer_.” Oikawa laughed and shook his head. “Oh, Tobio-kun, you’re so cute”, he laughed. Kageyama felt his face flush slightly and took another sip, partly in the hopes of hiding his now rosy cheeks. “You’re right, though. That taste-- the taste of beer, that is-- largely comes from the hops. Do you taste the lemon in it?” Kageyama nodded. “That’s actually what I like about it”, he said, taking another drink. “I see…”, said Oikawa thoughtfully, “...in that case, I've got a couple of different things in mind for next time!”. “Next time?”, Kageyama groaned into the mouth of his bottle. Oikawa grinned, “Of course, next time. You really think that we’re not gonna hang out now that we've run into each other? Especially when you consider how close your place is to mine...”. Kageyama downed the rest of his bottle before sighing, “Do we really have to?”.

Oikawa set his own empty bottle on the table then turned to look at the dark-haired man beside him. “I suppose we don’t _have_ to, but… don’t you think it might be _fun?_ ”, he suggested in an unusually sultry voice. Kageyama felt chills run up his spine while goosebumps rose along his arms.

 He’d heard that suggestion before.

 

_\---_

 

“Ah, Tobio-kun, you came~”, called a voice from the darkness.

 After wrestling with his conscience and his desires for all of the previous 24 hours, Kageyama Tobio elected to return to the park and see what else Oikawa had in mind. He only hoped he would not regret his brazen decision.

 The older boy stepped out into the light and flashed a smile at Kageyama. “Come on”, Oikawa said, hitching his thumb backwards, “Let’s go back to where we were yesterday.” Kageyama nodded and followed Oikawa back to the men’s bathroom, trailing directly behind him as they walked. Neither boy spoke; Oikawa did not feel compelled to make small talk and Kageyama did not know where to start.

 The men’s bathroom door shut and Oikawa locked it before turning to Kageyama, who was studying the floor intensely. “I’m glad you came, Tobio-chan”, Oikawa grinned as he walked closer to the dark-haired boy. “I didn’t think you were going to. After all, I did reject your confession yesterday.” Kageyama winced at this comment; why did Oikawa have to bring that up (and so blatantly)?

 The brunette wrapped his arms around his kouhai. “If only you’d confessed sooner…”, he sighed, pressing his forehead against Kageyama’s. “Um…”, started the dark-haired boy, though as soon as the sound left his mouth, he realized that it had been a long time since he last spoke; his voice sounded foreign to him. Had he really gone all day without speaking to anyone…? “...do you think anything really would have changed?”, asked Kageyama, “Somehow I can’t picture you accepting my confession…”. Oikawa grinned as he pressed himself against Kageyama. “And you still confessed to me with that mindset? How dark, Tobio-chan.” “I-- I told you--”, stammered out Kageyama as Oikawa began kissing and nipping his neck, “that it’d probably be… mmf-- _I told you that it would probably be harder to live with regret than rejection_ ”. Oikawa smiled into the skin he was teasing. _“What_ would be harder?”, he laughed as his hand wandered down to emphasize his punch line. Sure enough, Kageyama was just as excited as he’d been the night prior.

 “Mm, so what should we do about _this_?”, Oikawa hummed, gripping Kageyama’s member through his shorts. Kageyama’s face burnt red; Oikawa had meant for his question to be rhetorical, but the dark-haired boy spoke. “Um… I-- I want to do something for you”, he declared. Oikawa was not one to lose his cool, but the younger setter had caught him off guard, saying something so aggressive. Color rose in his own cheeks, though he did his best to shake it off. “How sweet”, Oikawa said, burying his face in Kageyama’s neck once more, if only to hide the dusting of pink that crossed his cheeks. The more the brunette teased him, the more Kageyama reacted to Oikawa’s touch, until he was little more than putty in the older boy’s hands.

 Oikawa then moved his mouth a little higher, pressing it against Kageyama’s. The dark-haired boy’s kisses were frenzied, as if he were desperate to be as close as possible to his senpai. Again Oikawa teased the younger boy, delving deeply into his mouth before pulling away, just out of reach, though this time it was because he rather enjoyed Kageyama’s eagerness and hoped to fan the flame as much as possible. He still had a firm grip on Kageyama’s cock through his pants and stroked the younger boy slowly, careful not to over-stimulate him.

 “Come here”, Oikawa said suddenly after a large period of time spent kissing. He led Kageyama over to the cool tile wall. “If you insist on helping me, too, I think this will probably be best. Lower your pants and sit on the floor, and I’ll come sit next to you. And then you can touch me while I touch you. Make sense?”. Oikawa didn’t expect to have to fully explain his intentions; he thought that ‘you sit there and I’ll sit here’ would’ve been sufficient, until the vacant look in the younger boy’s eyes reminded him that it was the generally clueless Kageyama Tobio he was trying to direct.

 Kageyama did as he was instructed, blushing hard as he freed his dripping member. Oikawa giggled. “Geez, you’re always _so happy_ to see me~”, he sang out, as he lowered his own pants before sitting next to Kageyama. “Sh- sh- shut up!”, Kageyama stammered, as he stared off into the other direction in an effort to try to minimize the redness in his cheeks. Oikawa had to admit… flustered Tobio was adorable.

 “Tobio-chan”, the brunette whispered, reaching over into Kageyama’s lap, “Come here”. Kageyama slowly turned his head to look at the older boy. His face burnt brighter and eyes widened as they fell upon his senpai’s ample package. “Tobio-chan”, Oikawa whispered, “My eyes are up here”. He giggled a little bit at his own joke before reaching over with his right hand and cupping Kageyama’s chin, guiding their faces together with a masterful combination of gentleness and force. As the two began kissing once more, Kageyama found the courage to reach over and touch Oikawa. The brunette smiled into their kiss as he did, and scooted even closer to the younger boy so that their legs were flush against one another.

 “Mmm, just like that”, Oikawa whispered before diving back into their kiss. Kageyama did his best to match Oikawa’s tempo, stroking the other boy in an all-too-familiar motion. Kageyama was having trouble trying to focus on both kissing and touching Oikawa, and the gaps in his mind were obvious as one part stopped moving so he could focus on the other. Even this was unfairly cute in Oikawa's opinion.

 “Tobio-chan”, Oikawa whispered breathlessly, picking up speed as he raced to get Kageyama off. “O-- Oikawa-san-- I--”, the dark haired boy stammered out. Oikawa grinned and pulled back from the kiss. “Go ahead and finish. I’ll finish up on my own”, he whispered. Kageyama’s face was turning beet red as he shook his head. “N- no-- I want to-- I want to get you off--”, the dark-haired boy panted. Oikawa was merciless, however, and soon had Kageyama crumbling under his touch. “A- A- Aaah!”, the younger boy wailed as he bucked his hips to meet Oikawa’s grip. He struggled to catch his breath as the last glimmers of ecstasy faded away, but as soon as he did, Kageyama gasped, “I-- I want to help _you_!”. Oikawa laughed jovially. “Okay, okay”, he said, releasing his own cock. He’d begun stroking himself as soon as Kageyama began his ascent into bliss, as the younger setter was utterly incapable of focusing on anything else at the time. Kageyama took hold of Oikawa’s member, stroking it lazily before looking up at the brunette. “Oikawa-senpai”, he asked, his steely eyes glowing, “Do you want me to use my mouth?”. Oikawa was slightly taken aback by this offer. “My my”, he chuckled, “How generous”. His tone was off, and he could feel his breath catch. It took him a long moment to regain his usual composure, at which point he grinned, “I suppose, if you want to, I’d be okay with that. It’s not every day your kouhai offers to suck you o--”.

 Oikawa’s sentence cut short, and was instead replaced with a gasp: Kageyama had wrapped his lips around Oikawa’s length in no time, and was all but fucking the older boy with his mouth. “O- oi…”, Oikawa mumbled, running his fingers through Kageyama’s hair, “D- don’t you think you should s- slow down?”. Kageyama didn’t answer and his brazen eroticism was suddenly driving Oikawa crazy. “O- oi!”, Oikawa started once more, “If you don’t take it easy, I’m not gonna be able to h- hold back, dumbass!”. Still, Kageyama did not slow, instead surging up and down the length of his former setter with all possible speed. Oikawa felt a familiar heat rise through his body and knew he didn’t have much time left. When he’d met up with Kageyama that day, he intended to tease the younger boy a little, to make him wait and hope and beg. He had not, however, expected the boy who’d innocently confessed to him the night prior to be so _sexy_. He felt his mind go hazy as the younger boy took him in repeatedly and found that he could no longer focus on anything besides the bobbing locks before him. “Tobio”, he whispered, fingering Kageyama’s black hair. “I-- You should-- _I’m gonna--_ ”.

  _‘Well, I tried to warn him’_ , Oikawa later consoled himself. He hadn’t expected Kageyama to keep going despite what he felt he _clearly_ tried to communicate through gasps and sighs. Oikawa wound up cumming full-force in the back of Kageyama’s mouth, causing the younger boy to gasp and choke briefly before swallowing Oikawa’s load.

 The brunette was absolutely _drained_ \-- in every sense of the meaning of the word. He was exhausted, but still managed to feel a heavy discomfort settle inside of him as he came back down from his orgasm. He didn’t _like_ when people got the better of him. He could count the number of times it had ever happened on one hand. And yet, here was the genuinely clueless first year, Kageyama Tobio, who’d completely and wholly swept him off his feet. He’d resolved to do something about the shift in their dynamic, but what, exactly, that would be would have to wait until later; he _still_ could not think clearly.

 “U- um, Oikawa-san… was that okay?”, Kageyama asked as he innocently wiped his mouth on his sleeve. _‘What the fuck’_ , Oikawa thought to himself, _‘Was Tobio always this cute?’_ . It was a difficult thought for him to bear, but it was true-- as he knelt before him, face flushed, blue eyes aglow in the fluorescent lighting, Oikawa found Kageyama to be disgustingly adorable and painfully innocent. “Um-- yes, that was-- that was _fine_ ”, Oikawa stammered out as he quickly redressed himself. “Oh, good”, Kageyama sighed, looking to the floor, “I was worried I ruined it when I started choking.” Oikawa couldn’t help but laugh as he reached out and tousled his kouhai’s hair. “You dumbass, I said it was fine”, he grinned.

 As the two boys walked out to the street-- this time standing notably closer than the night prior-- Oikawa rubbed the back of his head. “Why don’t you meet me at my house tomorrow instead of here?”, he asked with a tone that insinuated that he was doing Kageyama a _major_ favor simply by extending the invitation. The shorter boy looked up with a raised eyebrow. “Why your house?”, he asked quietly. “I dunno”, shrugged Oikawa, “I’m tired of screwing around in public restrooms? That, and tomorrow is my last day before I go away, so I figured it might be interesting if I have you over.” The darker haired boy furrowed his brow. “Do we _have to_ meet up at your house? That sounds awkward…”.

 Oikawa grinned down at Kageyama. “I suppose we don’t _have_ to, but… don’t you think it might be _fun?”_

 

_\---_

 

“To- bi- o- chan~”, sang a voice that shook Kageyama from his thoughts once more. “Here-- have another shot!”, Oikawa sang, offering a mostly-empty cup to the man across the couch. “Another?”, Kageyama groaned as he leaned forward to accept the offering, “We’ve already had like, five”. Oikawa stuck out his tongue playfully. “We gotta make it to lucky number seven, silly!” As Kageyama downed (what may have been) his sixth shot of rum, he couldn’t help but wonder just how many times his mind was going to wander off that night, into compartments he'd locked and sealed off all those years ago-- into the past that he’d forbidden himself from thinking of.

 “Ugh, that’s so bitter”, the dark-haired man spat, placing his cup on the coffee table. “I know, right?”, enthused Oikawa, “But aren’t you starting to feel it?”. Kageyama shook his head, attempting to deny Oikawa’s (successful) attempt at getting him drunk, but once he stopped a goofy smile erupted across his face, causing the older of the two to start laughing uncontrollably. “You can’t lie to me, Tobio-chan”, he giggled, before reaching out to pour some more shots from the half-empty bottle. “So, is this what you do for fun?”, Kageyama asked, his eyes transfixed on the beautiful brunette across the couch. “Sometimes”, Oikawa shrugged, oblivious to the younger’s gaze, “but I don’t have anything I have to do tomorrow, and I figured this might be a good way to ease some of the tension from earlier.”

 Oikawa handed Kageyama his refilled drink and smiled, settling in a little closer to the younger man. Turning to look at Kageyama, Oikawa grinned and asked, “Are you dating anyone, Tobio-chan?”. Kageyama frowned before downing his shot. “Um”, he said in an effort to say anything at all, “...no, not really.” “Aww”, frowned Oikawa, “That’s no fun!”. Kageyama took a sip of a beer that had been sitting on the table. “How bout you?”, he asked, staring into his drink. Oikawa shrugged. “I’ve been with some people here and there, but nothing serious, and nothing with any depth.” Taking another swig of his beer, Kageyama asked, “What about Iwaizumi-san?”. Oikawa felt his eye twitch briefly at the mention of his name, but he laughed and took his own shot. “Iwa-chan… now _that’s_ a name I haven’t heard in a while…”, Oikawa said with a sigh, “...but no. I’m afraid that _you’ve_ probably seen him more recently than I have. I came here while he went to college in America. I’m still friends with him on facebook and everything, but that’s about the extent of the communication we have.” Oikawa’s tone had been lighthearted and he wore a smile as he spoke, but somehow his face still looked pained. He leaned forward and poured more bacardi for the two. With another small sigh, Oikawa handed Kageyama his seventh shot. “What ever happened with you and Chibi-chan?”, he asked, looking into his own cup. Again Kageyama downed his shot. “Um- not much- it’s… it’s complicated”, the younger man stammered. Oikawa shrugged before drinking his own. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. I just thought you two definitely had a thing going on.”

 The two fell silent for a few minutes, their eyes fixed on the tv before them as their respective minds wandered to the names that had been brought up. Suddenly Kageyama’s phone-- which had been sitting on the coffee table through the entire night-- sang out. Both men reached for it, but Oikawa moved faster and snatched the phone from the table. “H- hey!”, called Kageyama, frowning. Oikawa held the phone up then grinned. “Oh”, he sang out with a malicious smile, “speak of the devil… it’s Chibi-chan!” “Hey-- give that back!”, cried Kageyama as he leaned over to Oikawa and extended his hand. “Hmm… what is Tobio-chan’s password?”, mulled Oikawa, turning away from the younger man, “is it his birthday?”. Oikawa typed in 1 - 2 - 2 - 2. No luck. “Aw”, he whined as he continued pushing Kageyama’s hand back. “Let’s see… what was Chibi-chan’s birthday again? I know it’s before mine… Oh! Let’s try my birthday!” As Oikawa began typing in his birthday, Kageyama lunged across the couch. “Give it back!”, he yelled as he reached for Oikawa’s hand. The brunette suspended the phone above his head with his right arm, as far away from Kageyama as physically possible, and as Kageyama leaned over Oikawa, struggling to reclaim what was his, Oikawa, in one swift movement, pulled the younger man into his lap.

 Kageyama had reached as far as Oikawa’s wrist, and though his fingers remained clamped around the other’s joint, he stopped moving completely. Their faces were less than an inch apart.

 “Well hello there”, Oikawa whispered with a grin. Kageyama stared at the brunette wordlessly for a moment before leaning in and kissing him.

 Oikawa dropped his arm to his side, though Kageyama still did not release his grip. The older of the two wrapped his free arm around Kageyama’s waist and pulled him into the kiss.

 When Kageyama finally pulled away, all he could think to do was whisper, “Hey”, before leaning in once more.

 


	3. Waking Up Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama doesn't remember anything from last night. Why does that seem so ominous?

All Kageyama Tobio could think about when he woke up on Saturday morning was his throbbing headache and the nausea that was threatening to eject the contents of his stomach in their entirety. He quickly jumped out of bed and staggered to the bathroom, shielding his eyes from the copious amount of morning sunlight that was filling his bedroom.

The second his eyes fell upon the toilet he vomited.

He threw up until there was nothing left, then dry heaved for several more minutes, his body spasming so violently that tears streamed freely from the corners of his eyes. When he was certain that his body was finally done-- at least, for the time being-- he teetered back to his bed, collapsing on top of his duvet. The only thing that he wanted more than he wanted to pass back out was to rid himself of his headache. As gingerly as he could, the blue-eyed man slowly made his way to the edge of the bed where he grabbed the ibuprofen he kept in the night stand, downing it with a glass of (what he hoped was) water that was sitting on the small table.

Kageyama woke once more three hours later. This time he was aware of a number of sensations he hadn’t been able to notice the last time he was awake. He was still nauseous, though the nausea was greatly diminished compared to how it had been. His head still hurt but, again, that was a lot duller a pain. His stomach and throat hurt-- presumably from all the retching he’d done-- and…

 _‘Oh no. Why does my ass hurt so much? What happened yesterday?’_ , he thought to himself, feeling the nausea start to build once more.

 _‘I went to my sociology lecture. I grabbed some lunch in the cafeteria then went to the coffeeshop to try to do some work. And then…’,_ Kageyama’s stomach lurched more violently, _‘I saw Oikawa. And he came over. And we drank. ...how much did I drink? I don’t even remember getting to bed…’._

The dark-haired man turned to his side and found-- unsurprisingly-- that his bed was empty. _Why_ **_would_ ** _he expect Oikawa to stick around? This **was** Oikawa Tōru he was talking about, after all... _Looking downward, Kageyama assessed himself and noted that he was completely naked, and from what he could see he was sporting a fair number of hickies-- at the very least, on his shoulders and chest. _But how?_ He swore all those years ago that he would never get involved with Oikawa again… what happened?

His head was still swimming as he lurched towards the kitchen, throwing on his bathrobe as he went. He needed coffee. He probably needed to clean his apartment and, if all the signs were pointing to what he thought they were pointing to, he _definitely_ needed a shower.

Upon exiting his room, several things hit him simultaneously, each seemingly more important and out of place than the last. His mind scrambled to pick one thing to focus on. His apartment-- his normally cluttered, modest apartment-- was absolutely _immaculate_. It was far cleaner than it had been in _weeks._ The countertops were sparkling as if he’d just stepped into the set for a surface-cleanser commercial and the smell of coffee was so ridiculously pervasive that he was honestly amazed that he couldn’t smell it from his room. And there, sitting at his table, hunched over a newspaper was…

“Oikawa?! What are you doing here?!”, exclaimed the younger man. Tōru folded his newspaper, setting it down gently, before flashing a brilliant smile at his newfound company. “Good morning to you, too, sunshine!”. Oikawa stood up, revealing that he was wearing nothing besides a t-shirt and boxers (which was admittedly one article more than Kageyama was wearing). “Here, come sit. I made coffee. How do you take it?” “Um… light with milk, no sugar”, he replied, moving towards the table as if he was in a trance. _‘Why is Oikawa still here?’_

Mere moments later, the brunette set a coffee mug and a plate with buttered toast down in front of Tobio. “I would’ve made you something a little more… mm… _elaborate_ ”, he grinned, taking his seat beside Kageyama once more, “but after your ‘adventure’ this morning, I think you should probably take it easy.” Kageyama nodded, picking up a piece of toast and biting into it. “Thank you”, he said quietly, _‘but why are you still here?’_ His mind was racing as he watched the older man pick up his newspaper once more.

“Your apartment’s really nice, you know”, Tōru said as he skimmed headlines, “my place is _way_ noisier. I guess that’s the trade off-- I live downtown, so the nightlife is crazy and I’m right by public transport, but it’s literally never quiet. Here it’s a little bit of a walk to get to where you wanna go, but in exchange it’s really peaceful.” Kageyama nodded again, taking his second bite of his toast. _‘Why is he still here?’_

Tobio cleared his throat-- a move which he very much regretted, as it was still raw. Though, now that he thought about it, _why_ was it raw? Was it from the vomiting? Or…..?

“I’m sorry if I embarrassed myself last night”, Kageyama said hesitantly, “Like I told you-- I don’t drink much. And almost never to that degree.” Oikawa set his paper down once more, though this time it was far less carefully, and placed his hand on Kageyama’s bare knee. The dark-haired man shuddered and Oikawa grinned, “I had a great time. You _should_ drink like that more often!” Now Kageyama’s heart was sinking. _'What the hell does that mean?'_ The older man noted the confused and concerned look spreading across Kageyama’s face and removed his hand, instead leaning back in his chair and folding his arms. “Did you black out?”, he asked, grinning, “What do you remember from last night?”. Tobio took a sip of his coffee, setting the mug down before responding. “I don’t really remember much”, he said, shaking his head. Grinning wildly, Oikawa asked, “Do you want me to remind you?”. Kageyama nodded, “Sure”, as he reached out for his mug once more.

Oikawa gently cupped Kageyama’s chin in his hand and, leaning forward, pressed his lips deeply into those of his former protégé. Then: a gasp, followed by the sound of ceramic on ceramic, accompanied by a wet splatter. Oikawa pulled back and smiled at the mess. “I got it”, he said gently, walking over to the sink. “I guess you really _don’t_ remember last night”, he said with a smile as he crouched down and picked up the broken pieces of the mug, “if _that_ was enough to scare the coffee out of you”. Kageyama had joined Oikawa on the floor, muttering apologies as quickly as he could. “N- no, I’m sorry! I don’t remember, but-- it didn’t _scare_ me, it just-- it was a shock-- don’t worry about this, I’ll clean it up!”. Tōru took the pieces of ceramic that the dark-haired man had collected and combined them with what he’d been able to scavenge. “Is it okay if I throw this away?”, he asked, completely ignoring Kageyama’s former statement. Kageyama looked up at him and nodded, face devoid of any emotion except seriousness. After dumping the destroyed mug in the trash, he went back over to where Kageyama was with the rag he’d been using to clean all morning. “Seriously, Tobio-chan, relax. I’ve got it.” Oikawa swept away what little coffee had spilled on the floor, collecting it with the rag as Kageyama watched. The older man stood, rinsed out the cloth, then returned to the floor, wiping the whole area once more so that nothing was sticky.

Kageyama crouched before him, staring intently at Oikawa. “Why are you still here?”, he asked bluntly. “Ehhh? I clean your apartment and _that’s_ what I get???”, Oikawa whined as he looked into the bright blue eyes before him. Kageyama shook his head. “You never-- that is to say, um… I would’ve assumed that you were the type of person to leave before the sun came up.” “What”, Oikawa started, “based on the few times we hooked up in high school?”. The brunette stood and crossed the room once more; Kageyama also stood, but stayed in place. “I’m definitely not the same person I was in middle school or high school, Tobio-chan. And, besides, this is completely different. When we got together that summer, we were either in the park’s men’s room or my room at my _parent’s house_ . It’s not exactly like there were tons of opportunities to stick around afterwards.” Oikawa wrung out the rag then turned around and looked at Kageyama once more. “Do you _want_ me to leave?”, he asked suddenly. “Oh-- n- no, that’s not it… It was just… a surprise. That’s all.”

The brunette grinned as he closed the gap between them. “You’re getting surprised a lot today, aren’t you?”. Kageyama swallowed hard and nodded. Once he was close enough, Oikawa wrapped his arms around Tobio’s waist. “You know”, he said, his voice dropping to a sultry tone, “that robe doesn’t do much to hide how excited you are”. Tobio’s face instantly turned crimson. Yes-- he was aroused. He was _super_ aroused. Somehow everything about Oikawa’s demeanor-- his movements, his tone, his smile, the flicker in his eyes-- was oppressively erotic. Who _wouldn’t_ be turned on with someone like that walking towards them? As Kageyama began issuing apologies once more, Oikawa drew a finger up, pressing it against the younger man’s lips. “Let’s go to the bedroom and I can remind you about what happened last night.” All Kageyama could do was nod.

 

\- - -

 

“Are you sure this is okay?”, Kageyama asked quietly as he followed Oikawa into his house. “Of course”, Oikawa said, slipping off his shoes at the entryway. “Besides, my parents aren’t even home. They didn’t tell me until this morning, but they’ll be at some dinner for my dad’s job or something. So it’s not even like you have to see anyone.” “Oh… okay”, came Kageyama’s quiet voice as he removed his own shoes.

The two walked silently to the end of the long hall, where Oikawa opened a door, revealing his room to a very curious Tobio. His room was… surprisingly normal. Trophies and ribbons adorned one particular shelf, along with a volleyball that had been autographed, but aside from that there was nothing that would make a person think, “Yes, this room most definitely belongs to the volleyball genius, Oikawa Tōru.”

Kageyama stiffly walked into Oikawa’s room and sat on his bed. Oikawa hadn’t bothered to turn the light on; the sun was mere minutes away from dipping below the horizon entirely, but they weren't going to need the light anyway for what he had planned. Tōru didn’t need to be reminded of how exasperatingly adorable his kouhai had become, nor did he need to see Tobio’s raw eroticism with his eyes. All he wanted was some semblance of control in what would likely be his last interaction with the boy who’d so brazenly confessed to him.

Oikawa sat down on the bed next to Kageyama and sighed. “So, Tobio-chan, I have a problem.” Kageyama looked up at him, big, blue eyes glowing in the faint light of dusk. “What’s wrong, Oikawa-san?”, he asked timidly. Oikawa grinned. “Well, you see… the other day, this really cute boy confessed to me.” Kageyama felt his heart drop into the pit of his stomach. He knew Oikawa didn’t feel the same way that he did, but he didn’t expect for the brunette to talk so openly about other romantic pursuits… “It was very sweet and genuine and flattering. We’ve met up a few times and fooled around and that’s been pretty cool, and then last night, he gave me an amazing blowjob in the park bathroom.” The lights clicked on in Kageyama’s head: _Oikawa was talking about him._ “So… what’s the problem?”, the younger boy asked nervously. “Well”, Oikawa started as he leaned back on his elbows, “the biggest problem is that I’m about to go away to college, so it would be irresponsible to return his feelings. But I still can’t help but feel a little bit jealous.” “Jealous?”, repeated Kageyama, unsure that he heard his senpai correctly. Tōru nodded. “Yep. Jealous. I mean, it’s not _right_ for me to feel this way but… well… I was his first kiss. I was the first person who touched him, and the first person he went down on… but now, someone _else_ is going to be his first.” “First what?”, asked Kageyama, still feeling very confused and out of the loop. “His _first._ Someone else is going to take his virginity. I don’t know why, but that thought really upsets me.” Oikawa turned to look at the younger boy and pouted. “What would you do if you were me, Tobio-chan?”.

Kageyama’s face felt hot and he could hear his pulse in his ears. _‘Oikawa is jealous… over me?’_ , he thought to himself. He could hardly believe it. “Um…”, he started, hoping that anything of value would follow, “...maybe he’ll wait for you?”. Oikawa couldn’t help but laugh. “Waiting _four years?_ That’s extreme. I don’t think I could live with that on my conscience-- selfishly putting someone’s life on hold just because I want them.” Kageyama looked down and studied his own lap for a moment before quietly saying, “Why don’t you ask him if he’d consider doing it with you before you go? That way you don’t have to be jealous _and_ his first time can be with someone he lov--” “Tobio”, interrupted Oikawa, unwilling to allow the younger boy to finish his sentence, “You know I’m talking about you, right?”. In what little light remained, Tōru swore he saw a single teardrop fall.

Deep down inside, the older boy wanted Kageyama to reject him-- to tell him he was perverse and disgusting, and that he never wanted to see him again. At least then Oikawa would feel relieved of the tremendous pressure that he suddenly felt following their previous night’s exploits. For some reason, he felt guilty. He felt like he was being terribly unfair to his kouhai, and felt that, in some way, his own rejection would sort of even things out.

After a brief silence, Kageyama looked up and grinned broadly. “Then why don’t we do it?”, he suggested. Oikawa felt many things at this proposal; he felt shocked that Kageyama could be so shameless, disappointed that his vindication would not come, horrified at how easily his kouhai could get under his skin without even knowing it, and, most of all, desperately aroused. He’d grown so used to having to manipulate others to get what he wanted that having someone who actually, actively wanted him drove him crazy.

Without another word, he pressed his mouth to Kageyama’s, hungrily searching for anything that could make him _feel._ Kageyama’s responses were gentler, and Oikawa could feel the love pouring out of him through his mouth. _What was he doing? Why was he doing this?_ He didn’t know. His body was moving of its own accord, stripping both boys as he moved. _Why? Why did he meet up with Kageyama again?_

The dark-haired boy’s skin practically seared Oikawa’s as they pressed together, flesh against flesh, clothes littering the floor around the bed. There was so much the older boy wanted to say-- things like _‘are you sure about this?’_ or ‘ _we don’t have to do this if you’re not comfortable’_ or even just a simple _‘are you ready?’--_ but the words eluded him.  His ego was running the show, and though he desperately wished he could do _anything_ right by Tobio, he was powerless over his own pride. When Kageyama moaned, “O- _Oikawa_ ”, into their kiss, the brunette found that he could no longer hold back.

“Here”, he panted, “turn over”. Kageyama obeyed immediately as Oikawa reached over to get a condom and some lube from his bedside table. Oikawa’s heart ached once he turned back and saw his kouhai in such an open and vulnerable position. His relationship with Kageyama had always been contentious at best, but the younger would still do anything to make Oikawa happy, when it came right down to it. He didn’t want to be the kind of person who would betray that trust, but he also couldn’t allow himself to leave Kageyama’s life while Kageyama still had-- in his opinion-- the upper hand.

“Relax”, he whispered as he aligned himself with Tobio’s opening, “or this might hurt”. Kageyama nodded into the pillow he had pressed his face against. With a little force, Oikawa had breached his kouhai’s opening, without so much as a sound from Kageyama. The brunette waited a moment before continuing his advance, moving slowly as he gripped Tobio’s pale hips. When he was finally fully buried within the dark-haired boy, he leaned forward, wrapping one arm around Kageyama’s waist. “Does it hurt?”, he whispered against the back of Kageyama’s neck. The younger shook his head, though he still remained silent. Tōru sat up, frustrated. He was trying to be nice… even if his niceness was virtually impossible to discern through his word choice. “Are you sure?”, he asked tersely. Again Tobio nodded. _‘Well fine’,_ he thought bitterly to himself, _‘I’m not gonna force you to enjoy it.’_ With that, he began moving, pumping in and out of the younger boy slowly but at a steady pace. He could see beads of sweat forming along the nape of Kageyama’s neck and noted that his back seemed to glisten in the light.

Even when he picked up speed, not a sound came from the younger boy. Oikawa was getting annoyed. He himself wanted to cry out, to tell Tobio how _fucking amazing_ his virgin ass felt, but he sure as hell wasn’t going to be the first one to express how much he enjoyed this. That would completely invalidate the whole reason he was inside Kageyama in the first place.

His speed continually ramped up and Kageyama matched his thrusts, pushing back with equal force so Oikawa could be buried as deeply inside him as possible. Finally Oikawa’s dam of restraint broke. _‘Fuck’_ , he growled, pounding into the younger boy, whose back was arching and bowing in the most erotic manner. Hearing his own words come out in such an obscenely carnal tone set him off, and soon he was bucking his hips with immense ferocity. The heat was building up inside him-- so hot he could hardly breathe-- when finally, a sound came from the other. Kageyama tilted his head backwards, pulling it from the pillow for the first time since they began, and cried, “I love you, Oikawa-san!”

_Fuck._

Oikawa felt as if his lower half had exploded. His condom quickly overflowed, dribbling hot cum onto his bed spread. As soon as he extracted himself, Kageyama collapsed on the bed. Oikawa removed his protection, tossing it in the wastebasket at the foot of the bed, before climbing up next to Kageyama and draping an arm over him. He quickly kissed the younger boy’s shoulder before pulling back in embarrassment. He wanted to say something-- anything-- to Tobio. He wanted to tell him how much he enjoyed their foray, to tell Kageyama how incredibly (unexpectedly) sensual he found his body and movements, to wish that he’d given his kouhai a chance back when he first noticed his feelings, but again the words wouldn’t come.

With that, his mind wandered over to Iwaizumi, wondering if his ace had left for college yet. The two had had a spectacular blow out, a fight that would go down in history as one of the most vicious fights two close friends could ever have, and hadn’t spoken since the last day of school. Oikawa unconsciously rubbed his hand up and down Kageyama’s back as he thought of his precious Iwa-chan. All Oikawa had wanted was to go to school together, to stay together and continue what they had. But Iwa-chan had different plans. He’d gotten an amazing opportunity to study abroad, and Oikawa knew he was being selfish in asking him to stay; he just couldn’t help but hope that he was more important to Hajime than a college across the world. He replayed their fight over and over in his head, wishing it had gone any other way. Instead of, “I hate you”, why couldn’t he have said, “I’ll wait for you”? Why couldn’t Iwaizumi just say, “I’ll be back in four years” instead of “I’m leaving”? Why did everything have to be so definite?

“Um- Oikawa-san?”, Kageyama said, turning his head to look at the older setter. Suddenly Tōru was brought crashing back down to earth. The past was the past. He couldn’t change it, and he had no business wishing to. “Yes, Tobio-chan?”, sang the brunette as he moved his hand from Kageyama’s back to cup his face. “Um-- _thank you_ ”, said Kageyama, averting his eyes from Oikawa’s.

The older boy’s face flashed a parade of emotions. He was touched. He couldn’t believe how pure Kageyama was. He couldn’t believe he’d just destroyed that purity. Had anyone ever looked at him like the way Tobio-chan did? But no- he couldn’t be swept away by these feelings. Kageyama probably just wanted him to teach him his serve still. Right? Was it possible for a person to be so motivated that they’d do something like _that_ ? Besides, shouldn’t _he_ be thanking _Kageyama?_ It’s not like Tobio got anything out of it...

His thoughts cycled at an impossible pace before he finally just… _gave in._ He reached over and pulled Kageyama into a deep hug. He held the boy to him, clinging to him desperately as he showered him with kisses atop his head. The words were finally coming to him; he felt like he could finally say things like, _‘I’m so sorry’_ and _‘I wish things could’ve been different’_. He opened his mouth to speak as he squeezed the younger boy tighter, but the words never made it out. Instead, his door slammed open, and in the doorframe he could see the back-lit silhouette of Iwaizumi.

“Of fucking course”, came a gruff voice. Oikawa shot up, and Kageyama reached down for any article of clothing at all to hide his nudity.

“Get dressed”, Iwaizumi grunted, “We need to talk”.

The door slammed shut again and with it, all the affection that had been building up within Oikawa.

“I’m sorry, Tobio-chan, but can I ask you to go home?”, Oikawa asked, in a voice that sounded foreign and unnatural even to himself. His normal playful demeanor had evaporated and his former devastation had taken its place once more.

“Yeah, no problem”, Kageyama said as he rapidly sorted through which clothes were whose. The younger boy had never gotten dressed so quickly in his life. He left Oikawa’s room without so much as a goodbye as the brunette was pulling on his own pants and sped towards the front door. Unfortunately, Iwaizumi was waiting for Oikawa in the hall near his room, so Kageyama had no choice but to pass him. He stared fixedly at the floor as he walked, hoping that his former senpai wouldn't acknowledge his existence.

“Kageyama”, came the gruff voice as the two were parallel in the hallway, stopping Kageyama in his tracks. It was a long moment before the younger boy worked up the courage to look up. Iwaizumi stood solemnly with his arms folded and his back against the wall. “Take care of yourself”, Iwaizumi said, nodding to Kageyama. “Um… you too. And-- um- _sorry”._ That was all Kageyama could think to say before he continued his rapid stride to _anywhere but there_.

As he closed the front door behind him, he swore he heard Oikawa whine, “Iwa-chan, what the hell?!”.

 

\- - -

 

“Mmm, that was even better than last night”, Oikawa grinned as he returned to bed wearing only a t-shirt of Kageyama’s. The younger man smiled softly. “I’m glad-- or, should I be apologizing for last night?”. Oikawa grinned and kissed the dark-haired man again. “Maybe both”, he laughed.

“Um… Oikawa?”, Tobio asked, apprehension clear in his voice, “What is... _this?”_. “Oh my God, _so lame, Tobio-chan_ _”_ , groaned Oikawa as he tossed a pillow into Kageyama’s face. Kageyama blushed, but Oikawa laughed once more as he settled against his former kouhai. “This is… whatever this is. There doesn’t have to be a label. I had fun, and I hope you had fun, and if you’re up for it, I’d like to do it again.” “Already?!”, exclaimed Kageyama, earning an eye roll from the older man. “Not _now,_ dumbass. I mean like, hanging out. Whether it’s sexual or not, I still had fun.”

Kageyama took some time to digest these words and the thought of a casual relationship with the brunette, though that time was quickly interrupted when Oikawa turned over to face him. “By the way”, the older man grinned, “You are like, _super_ tight, even after last night. Have you been with _anyone_ since…” Tobio frowned. “Yes, I _have_ _”_ , he said somewhat defensively, “although… you’re the only person I’ve been a bottom for.” Oikawa grinned and laughed, “Well, if it makes you feel any better, you’re one of the only people I’ve been a top for!” “‘One of…’”, Kageyama repeated quietly. “Maybe one day we can switch things up, see if you’re as good at fucking as you are at being fucked”, grinned the brunette. At this Kageyama’s face turned crimson and he fell silent.

The two snuggled in bed for several more minutes before Kageyama spoke. “Oikawa-san”, he said thoughtfully, “Can I ask you a question about Iwaizumi-san?”. Tōru frowned deeply. “I’d rather you didn’t”, he said coldly as he turned onto his back, “but if you _absolutely have_ to, you can.” Kageyama scooted closer to Oikawa, connecting them once more after the older man moved away. “It’s about that night six years ago…”. Oikawa sighed. “Wow, really?”, he asked sarcastically, “You seriously know how to kill a mood.” Kageyama frowned but continued. “Why was Iwaizumi-san so angr--”.

Oikawa cut Kageyama off. He wanted to get the conversation over and done with. He knew that he owed it to the younger man, but he’d secretly hoped that, if the conversation _did_ have to happen, that it would've taken place while they were drunk.

“Iwa-chan and I were together for most of high school. We weren’t dating publicly or anything, but we were only ever with each other, and did a lot of things that only couples do. I was in love with him, for sure, and he told me a handful of times that he loved me, too. A few days before you and I got together, he and I had the fight that ended everything. To the rest of the club, it just looked like the fight that wound up putting some serious distance in our friendship, but that fight actually ended our relationship. I was hurt and angry that he was going to college in America without even thinking about me or our future. In my heart, I wanted to grow old with Iwa-chan. And it wasn’t like I could just _go_ with him. He got a full ride scholarship on an international exchange program. I didn’t even know that was a thing until he told me he was accepted. He kept me on the line, telling me that _maybe_ we could go to the same school together and even toured some campuses with me. I was heartbroken. He, of course, thought I was being incredibly selfish by denying him this opportunity. For him, I guess, we were just a high school fling. For me, it was everything. We fought it out after our last practice and I called him every name I could think of and then some. I even hit him. He just stood there. It was like… he didn’t even _care_ anymore. He didn’t care how hurt I was and he definitely didn’t care about how much I loved him. When he finally spoke, his words were cruel, callous, and calculated. He chose his words carefully and hurt me about as badly as anyone ever could. It was when I was at home crying my heart out that I got the text from you asking to meet up.”

“It was honestly excellent timing. I know this is gonna make me sound like a monster, but you helped pull me out of the serious depression I was quickly falling into.” Kageyama smiled gently and quietly said, “I’m glad”. Oikawa couldn’t help but flash the younger man a grin. “Well, it was nice to have someone else to focus on-- someone who actually _wanted_ to be with me. I couldn’t give you any more than what I did-- I was never the type of person for long distance relationships or any of that crap-- but it was really nice while it lasted. But that night… I thought for sure Iwa-chan was already across the world. And, to be honest, I was almost reconsidering my stance on long distance relationships after everything with you-- I mean, the distance between here and home isn't _that_ long, right? ...But when Iwa-chan came in, he reminded me that not only did I not want a long distance relationship-- I didn’t belong in a relationship _period.”_

“He was pissed at me when you left. He thought I was abusing you. He thought that our relationship had meant nothing to me, since I already found a new piece of ass. He was even angrier that night than he had been during our fight, and he basically said that he’s starting his new life in America and fully intended to leave me behind. He told me not to contact him.”

Oikawa turned away from Kageyama, though he did allow the younger man to wrap an arm around him. “I secretly think that he came that night to try to work things out. I mean-- if he really wanted to never talk to me again, he could’ve texted me or sent me an e-mail. But I think that seeing me with you made him sure that it wouldn’t work out. So that was that.”

“But why… ... ... why didn’t I ever hear from _you_ again?”, asked Kageyama, tightening his grip on the older man. Surprisingly, Oikawa laughed again. “Oh, that! Well, Iwa-chan had some pretty choice words about me choosing to sleep with _you_ of all people. He thought it was disgusting and predatory and he said just all sorts of lovely things to ensure that I felt like shit over being with you. I was actually on the train up here when you texted me, and I thought that it was a pretty big sign that I really should leave Miyagi in the past. I chose not to respond, and I figured-- well-- that would probably hurt less than anything else I could possibly have to say.”

Again Kageyama tightened his grip. “I’m sorry to make you bring up the past like this”, he said quietly. Oikawa quickly flipped his body, turning once more to face Kageyama. “Don’t think twice about it”, he grinned, “Although if you could never bring Iwa-chan up again, I’d totally appreciate it.”

Oikawa quickly pecked Kageyama on the lips, then sat up. “It’s getting pretty late, and I need to go feed my cat. But, if you want, you’re welcome to come over later on.” Kageyama sat up as well and was stunned to hear this offer; he thought, for sure, that this would be the end of their affair. “Um… yeah”, the dark haired man said, “that sounds like fun.” “It’s a date, then!”, grinned Oikawa as he bounded out of bed.

Oikawa pulled on his pants and strode over to the door, stopping before crossing the threshold. Turning back, the brunette smiled, “Also, I’m keeping this shirt. It looks amazing on me. See you, Tobio-chan~☆”

With that, Oikawa was gone.

But… it wouldn’t be for long.

_What the hell was happening?_

 

 


	4. A Tour of Bedrooms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For some reason, Kageyama finds himself _actually_ meeting up with Oikawa again that evening.

As Kageyama followed his GPS’ instructions step by step, he couldn’t help but wonder once more: _What the hell was happening?_ _What kind of game was Oikawa playing? Why, after all these years, was he suddenly showing interest in Kageyama and his life?_ And, more importantly: _Why was Kageyama going along with it?_

These thoughts made the dark-haired man nauseous. The brief thought that the address Oikawa had given Kageyama led somewhere else (somewhere dangerous, perhaps) flickered through the dark-haired man’s head, and he was almost hopeful as he plod on through the streets downtown that he was going to come face to face with a homicidal maniac, rather than the person he was supposed to meet.

The building Tobio’s phone led him to was _massive_ \-- it looked like it extended into the stars themselves. Kageyama checked Oikawa’s text one more time, just to make sure that the number on the building was correct, and, sure enough, he was at the right place. 100 Park Avenue, Floor 25, Unit C. Kageyama only hoped that his former senpai’s building had the luxury of an elevator, lest he be forced to climb 24 flights of stairs. His train of thought was broken when, upon entering the complex, a man sitting at a desk immediately inside the front door asked what floor he was headed to. “Um-- 25-- 25 C”, he said nervously, checking his phone once more _just to be sure._ The man asked him to hold on as he dialed into the phone before him. It seemed to ring for a moment before he spoke into the receiver. “Yes, good evening sir, you have a… _visitor?”_. Kageyama wasn’t sure he liked the way this man said ‘visitor’, frowning as he gripped the bag he had slung over one shoulder. “Yes. Mmhmm. Yes sir, right away.” He gently hung up the phone before looking back up to the younger man in front of him. “Mr. Oikawa said to send you right up.” The man gestured to his right, to a pair of elevators across the small lobby. “Take either of these elevators up to the 25th floor. The unit you’re looking for will be across the hall to the right.”

Kageyama quickly thanked the man before darting off towards the elevator. He hastily pressed the up button, eager to leave the uncomfortable aura the doorman was giving off. As soon as he stepped into the elevator, though, a different sort of discomfort hit him, as he realized that he was mere moments away from seeing Oikawa once more. _'_ _Speaking of which'_ \-- he thought to himself, as he pressed the button with the number ‘25’-- _'_ _what kind of lifestyle is_ **_this_** _? Doormen? Fancy marble-floored lobbies? Elevators???'_ Tobio even started to get embarrassed retroactively at the thought of Oikawa seeing his own modest apartment. Had Oikawa been judging him? Did he invite Kageyama to his place out of pity-- or worse, disgust? The elevator dinged and the blue-eyed man reluctantly stepped out of the small compartment. He scanned the hallway briefly-- yep, just as the doorman said, the door to Oikawa’s unit was across the hall from the elevator, a bit to the right. To the left was a door with the letter ‘B’ on it and, glancing around quickly, Kageyama noted that the doors ‘A’ and ‘D’ were on the side of the hall with the elevator door, though both of those doors were in opposite corners. Strange. But-- that was it. 4 units on the entire, seemingly massive floor of this tremendous building. Kageyama’s own building was much smaller, and each floor at his place had at least 8 apartments to it.

Tobio heaved a heavy sigh before raising his hand to knock on the door marked ‘C’. Moments later, the veritable demi-god that was Oikawa Tōru appeared in the suddenly open doorframe, shirtless and sporting a smile that could slay even the heartiest mortal. At least-- that was Kageyama’s opinion as all the blood rushed to his cheeks. “Tobio-chan~”, sang the brunette, stepping aside and opening the door broadly, “Welcome to _mi casa._ Did you find the place alright?”. Kageyama stepped in and bowed slightly, adjusting the bag slung over his shoulder as he did. “Yes”, he said curtly, as he struggled to maintain eye contact with Oikawa rather than immediately scanning the foreign world he’d somehow managed to be transported to.

“Come in, come in!”, called Oikawa, as he sauntered down the hall ahead of the younger man. Kageyama slipped off his shoes and followed Oikawa as quickly as he could. The brunette opened a door at the end of the short hallway and revealed a gorgeous, modern, loft-style apartment. Kageyama couldn’t help but stare. “To-bi-o-chan”, sang the brunette, appraising the younger man as he stood in the doorway and gaped.

“H- how do you _afford this_ ?”, were the first words out of Kageyama’s mouth, despite his knowing full-well that that was the least appropriate thing for him to be saying at that particular moment in time. Oikawa, however, smirked at the question and strolled over to the couch, throwing himself down and patting the cushion beside him. “I’m pretty good with money”, the brunette said after a moment’s thought, “My job pays me well and I’ve got a moderate trust-fund from my grandparents. I’ll admit, having this much space is a little unnecessary, and admittedly somewhat _garish,_ but... If I had to choose between living in a hovel and having a huge savings account, or living in a place like this and only having a _moderate_ savings account-- well. You see what my choice would be. Now, come, sit. You can marvel all you want later.”

Kageyama did as he was instructed, seating himself on the opposite side of Oikawa’s white leather ‘L’ shaped couch. The older man rolled his eyes before moving over and seating himself right next to Kageyama, pressing his bare arms right up against those of the younger man, though his were covered by his sweatshirt. “What have you got there?”, Oikawa asked, nodding to the bag Kageyama had set on the floor between his feet. “Oh, um--”, the dark haired man stuttered as he struggled to open the bag, “I brought some wine. I wasn't really sure what to bring, and to be honest I don't even know if this is good wine, although it was kind of expensive, but I would’ve felt bad if I didn't bring any--” “Tobio-chan”, Oikawa interrupted, reaching out and taking the bottle from the red-faced man’s trembling hands, “It's perfect. Thank you.”

Oikawa stood and crossed the room. “Why don't we have a glass? Maybe it'll help calm your nerves…”. “Y-yeah, maybe”, Kageyama replied, rubbing the back of his neck as he fixed his eyes on one particular knot in the polished wooden floor. He looked up when he heard the pop of the cork, and suddenly he felt as if he was burning up. _‘Oh, yeah._ **_That’s_ ** _why I'm going along with it’_ , he thought, answering his own prior question as he watched a shirtless Oikawa pour wine into a glass. Did everything the brunette did have to be so _sensual?_ Kageyama was shamelessly ogling the man in front of him, unable to bring himself to look away. The older man didn’t seem to notice as he poured the second glass, though as he did a charming laugh suddenly rang out across the spacious apartment. Continuing his thought from a few minutes prior, Oikawa added, “Although, I can tell you for sure that there isn’t a glass of wine in Japan that will get you as drunk as you were last night.” Kageyama laughed nervously, “Good! I don't know that I ever want to be that drunk again!”. Oikawa pouted slightly before gracefully crossing the room and handing a glass to Tobio as he sat down beside him. “Why not?”, Oikawa asked, leaning back against the couch, “You were a lot of fun!” “I don’t know about that…”.

The brunette took a sip of the deep red, mulling it over for a moment before smiling, “Mm, I have to hand it to you, this _is_ pretty good. Nice choice.” Kageyama shrugged, staring to his own drink, “I'm glad to hear it”, the younger man replied, stopping himself just before he began to ramble once more about the price of the bottle and his general cluelessness when it came to all things alcohol. Kageyama then downed the contents of his glass, eager to calm his nerves even if it meant acting a little less classy than the occasion called for. Oikawa set his own glass on the coffee table before grabbing Kageyama’s and doing the same. The brunette then turned to face Kageyama and, with a hand gently placed at the younger man's chin, turned Kageyama's face to look at him as well.

“Tobio-chan”, he said sternly, searching the bright blue eyes before him, “calm down. There’s nothing to be nervous about.” Kageyama chuckled anxiously in response, averting his eyes from the oppressive gaze before him (though Oikawa still was gripping his chin, so moving his eyes was all he could manage). “You mean this _isn’t_ all one big practical joke, and you _actually_ invited me here because you wanted to?”, Kageyama laughed, voice shaking slightly as he inadvertently revealed his biggest insecurity of the night. Oikawa stared at him for a long moment before laughing. “Oh my God, Tobio-chan, is that really what you've been thinking this whole time?”. Oikawa’s laugh was melodic and sincere, though he did not release his grip on the younger man’s face. “You couldn’t be more wrong if you tried. Let me spell it out for you.” With that, Oikawa pulled Kageyama towards him, planting his lips on Kageyama’s. The younger man resisted at first before ultimately giving in and fully melting into the kiss. He moved his arm to Oikawa’s waist, feeling his face flush again as his hand met bare skin. Oikawa nipped at his lips and teased his tongue, poking and prodding and playing as he leaned into the exchange. His hand that had been holding Kageyama’s chin wrapped around the younger man's neck, as his other hand began running through Kageyama's silken hair.

“To-bi-o-chan”, Oikawa repeated once more, his words grazing the younger man’s lips as they escaped his mouth, “Want a tour of my place? We can start with the bedroom…”. Without responding, Kageyama took Oikawa’s bottom lip between his teeth, pulling it away from the older man’s perfect face briefly before pressing it back with his own lips, and with that, inciting yet another lust-fueled lip lock.

Suddenly Oikawa tore himself from the passionate kiss with all the abruptness that one would use when removing a bandaid, before jumping to his feet, and extending a hand to Kageyama. Without a word, the dark-haired man took Oikawa’s hand and allowed himself to be led across the loft, through a doorway he hadn’t noticed existed, into the magical realm that was Oikawa’s bedroom.

Soon the two were tangled in the sheets, unable to pull their lips apart for even a moment. Oikawa tore at Kageyama’s clothes, eager to feel the heat of the younger man’s flesh once more. They separated briefly in order to pull Tobio’s t-shirt over his head after his hoodie had been discarded, but came back together immediately, as if their very lives depended on their union. The brunette grasped at Kageyama’s flesh, pressing the tips of his fingers into the younger man’s skin roughly, desperately, everywhere his hands roamed, while Kageyama simply wrapped his arms around Oikawa’s neck and played with the gentle waves at his nape.

With a great deal of effort, Oikawa managed to extract himself from Kageyama’s lips, if only to taste his flesh elsewhere. He pressed his mouth to the younger man’s neck, nipping and sucking as his hands wandered lower. He moved to his collarbone, becoming a little rougher as he noted the change in his lover’s breathing; Kageyama's rapid inhalations had become sharper and more ragged, though not a sound escaped the lips of the darker-haired man. Oikawa marked anywhere he could reach on the younger man’s upper body, moving faster with each new region he touched. Still, not a sound escaped Kageyama’s lips, just as it had been during their earlier tryst. Oikawa had been kneading the younger man’s ass, gripping it roughly then palming it as his mouth moved across skin above, but it wasn't long before the older man had gotten impatient, and was ready to take what he wanted. He rolled Kageyama over onto his back and quickly stripped him of the clothing on his lower half. When his eyes finally met Kageyama’s, his heart stopped. Kageyama was the purest embodiment of eros, his hand drawn up to cover his slightly parted lips while his face glowed fluorescent in the darkness of Oikawa’s room. His eyes were glassy and half-lidded, though through what little the brunette could see, the deep blue orbs before him screamed out their true desire-- that which was reflected in them: Oikawa.

The older man had experienced countless partners throughout the previous decade, but there was something about Kageyama that just got to him, twisting itself around his every sense and exciting him deep into his very soul. He’d spent the day speculating as to what that thing could be, but he ultimately came up empty handed. As he stared at the naked man before him, he was perhaps even more clueless than he’d been that morning.

Oikawa was reluctant to leave his partner's side for even a moment, but found he had no other choice if he wanted to continue further; his stash of condoms and lube were mere feet away tucked inside the drawer of his nightstand, though to Oikawa the short crawl to the top of the bed felt as if it was a journey around the world. When he returned, he eagerly pressed himself into Kageyama's mouth once more, feeding off of the intense lust exchanged between them. It took him a while before he was once again able to break free of Kageyama's spell, but the moment he did, he turned his attention to the matter at hand. What started as a quick effort to lubricate the other man quickly turned into full-on finger fucking. Oikawa had simply started by rubbing some lube over Kageyama’s entrance using his first three fingers, but the urge to slip a finger inside the younger man bubbled up out of nowhere, and soon Oikawa found he couldn’t stop. Initially it was just the first two knuckles of his middle finger, probing inside Kageyama on a whim. But then he adjusted himself, working the younger man with his index finger instead, nearly reaching down to the third knuckle on his limber digits. And then the urge to use _both_ fingers presented itself, and Oikawa found that he was incapable of denying his carnal impulses when it came to the blue-eyed man...

Kageyama had reached out and grabbed a pillow, covering his ever-reddening face. Admittedly, it took the older man a while to notice, as he was fixated on the erotic sight of his own digits plunging in and out of Kageyama. When he did realize it, though, he leaned forward, hand still inside the younger man, and grabbed the pillow with his free hand. _“Hey”,_ he said gently, but sternly, _“I want to see you. I want to_ **_hear_ ** _you. Don’t hide-- show me more of what you showed me last night.”_ From under the pillow, he heard a muffled voice cry, “Oh God, don't make me even more embarrassed about last night than I already am…”. Oikawa resumed the motion of his previously-stilled fingers, pumping in and out of the younger man who was subtly writhing beneath him. _“I’m serious, Tobio. Relax. Show me how good I’m making you feel.”_ It took a moment, but the dark haired man relented, allowing Oikawa to rip the pillow from his face. It was replaced, instead, by Kageyama’s hands, which covered almost the entirety of his face in embarrassment. _“Tobio”,_ Oikawa whispered, _“I want to see you.”_

With great struggle, Kageyama moved his hands down so they only covered his mouth. The brunette almost regretted his request, as he wasn’t sure he could handle any more of this side of Kageyama. The younger man’s eyes were clenched shut and tears could be seen building up in the corners. His face was about as red as Oikawa had ever seen another person’s pallor, and his nostrils were flaring violently as he struggled to regulate his breathing. Now Oikawa could see that Kageyama was actually restraining himself when it came to his silence; he watched as the blue-eyed man’s mouth opened and shut in response to every different sensation he was given.

Oikawa couldn’t take it anymore. He quickly slipped on a condom, though as he did Kageyama moved to get on all fours. _“No”,_ Oikawa whispered, grabbing the younger man’s wrist as he got into position, pulling him back down against the bed, _“I told you-- I want to_ **_see_ ** _you.”_ Kageyama bit his lip and nodded, readjusting him position so that Oikawa could have easy access to him. As the older man aligned himself with Kageyama’s entrance, he looked down into the younger man’s eyes once more before warning him, _“I want to hear you-- even if I have to fuck your brains out, I won’t stop until I get to hear your voice.”_ Again Kageyama nodded apprehensively.

Oikawa eased himself into the younger man, finding it considerably easier than it had been the night prior-- or even, that morning. He watched as a parade of nameless emotions crossed Tobio’s face, making clear the combination of pain and ecstasy he was experiencing. Oikawa drew himself backwards before thrusting forward again, and Kageyama’s hands flew to his face, clamping his mouth shut as it began to open. Oikawa frowned, then leaned forward and took the younger man’s wrists in his hands, pinning them to the bed above him with one hand while propping himself up with the other. _“No hiding”,_ he panted through gritted teeth, _“I’m_ **_going_ ** _to hear you”._ Kageyama clenched his eyes shut and bit his lower lip so hard that it went white.

Oikawa leaned in and kissed the younger man, who reciprocated eagerly, thrusting his tongue into Oikawa’s mouth aggressively once the brunette began moving his hips once more. Oikawa picked up speed, moving quickly despite his awkward positioning. He could feel Kageyama’s chest rise and fall erratically and knew it wouldn’t be long before he had his prize. He drilled into the younger man, pounding him as enthusiastically as he could from that vantage point, before suddenly ripping his mouth from Kageyama’s. Oikawa’s half-baked plan had worked; Kageyama had, in fact, been using Oikawa’s mouth to silence himself in lieu of the hands he no longer had access to. Once Oikawa’s mouth was gone, Kageyama cried out, moaning shrilly as the older man fucked him hard.

It was as if a plug had been pulled-- suddenly Kageyama could no longer hold back, and was moaning and whining without inhibition. Oikawa released his wrists, but they stayed put as if they were bound by an invisible rope. The brunette repositioned himself, gripping Kageyama’s strong thighs and using the new position as leverage to pound the younger man even harder. And as Oikawa approached his climax, knowing for sure that Kageyama’s voice alone was going to push him over the edge momentarily, Tobio arched his back and cried out, “Oikawa-san!”, spilling all over his own abdomen as his body went rigid. That was it for Oikawa. Two more pumps and he was done, cumming as deeply inside the younger man as he possibly could before collapsing on top of him, despite the sticky mess between them.

 _“Fuck, Tobio”,_ Oikawa whispered, eyes shut as he focused on the rise and fall of the younger man’s chest. Kageyama wrapped his arms around Oikawa’s head, pulling him close as they both tried to recover.

After several minutes, Oikawa extracted himself from the younger man’s grip and, sitting up, looked down at the two of them then laughed. “Wow, what a mess”, he chuckled, pulling himself out of the younger man and carefully removing his protection. “Will you stay the night, Tobio-chan?”, the brunette asked, punctuating his question with an incredibly charming grin. Kageyama propped himself up on his elbows. “Um- sure”, he said, cheeks growing pink once more. “Come on, then, let’s go shower. _Someone_ made me all sticky”, Oikawa laughed, hopping off of the bed and extending his hand down to the younger man.

Half an hour later, both men found themselves between Oikawa's sheets once more, naked limbs intertwined as they snuggled up. “Oikawa, can I ask you a question?”, asked Kageyama as he gently stroked the copper locks splayed out upon his chest. “Mmm?”, came the response, followed by a brief pause before Oikawa propped himself up on one elbow, “Tobio-chan, why do you _insist_ on ruining the afterglow? _Honestly._ What? What’s on that precious little mind of yours?”. “I was just curious”, started the dark-haired man as he pulled Oikawa back into him, “Why aren’t you dating anyone right now?” Oikawa glanced up at Kageyama. “Ehh??? What kind of question is _that?”._ Kageyama shrugged, and, frowning, said, “I don't mean any offense by that. In fact, it's just the opposite. From what I can see, you seem like someone anyone would be lucky to be with. You-- apparently-- have a good job and make good money, and you're really attractive and in shape… I guess I just don't understand why you're single right now, is all.” Oikawa sat up and looked at Kageyama. “First of all”, started the older man, unable to conceal his smile, _“_ _Aw._ That was really sweet, Tobio-chan. I'm flattered that you think so highly of me.” Kageyama attempted to interject, saying, “Oh, no-- that’s not-- I meant--”, but Oikawa kept talking. “Second, if we’re being honest here, I have my fair share of baggage. I have some hang ups. I know everyone does, realistically speaking, but I've heard that mine makes it difficult to get close to me.” “What do you mean by tha--” _“And_ third, it's really simple: I'm single because I don't have anyone I like right now. ...well, no-- that’s not entirely accurate-- There is _one_ person I like right now. But, I try not to rush into things.” Kageyama looked at the brunette skeptically. “You mean _this--”_ , Kageyama said, motioning to their respective states of dress, “--isn’t rushing into things?”. Oikawa laughed before laying his head next to Kageyama’s. The younger man turned to face the older, and Oikawa draped his arm over Kageyama’s hip. “No, it’s not”, the brunette defended. Kageyama pursed his lips before asking, “Then what is it?”. Oikawa grinned mischievously. “It's simply testing out our compatibility.” “And…?” “So far, so good!”, the older man giggled as he leaned in and planted a kiss on Kageyama’s unexpecting lips.

The two cuddled for a while, chatting about anything and everything that popped into their (mostly Oikawa’s) minds. After nearly an hour spent in bed, the older man sat up. “Did you eat, Tobio-chan?”, he asked, looking back at his companion. Kageyama shook his head. “Not since the toast you made me. I wasn’t hungry today, I guess.” “Well that’s not acceptable”, frowned Oikawa, “Come on. Let’s go get some food.”

Upon rising to his feet, the older man grimaced at the clothes on the floor. “No... this won’t do. Tobio-chan, how do you feel about borrowing something of mine so we can go somewhere _nice?_ My treat, of course.” Kageyama sat at the edge of the bed, feet dangling an inch above the floor. “You mean, like a date?”, the dark-haired man asked, eyes widening after his private thoughts accidentally escaped his mouth. Oikawa laughed sweetly, though, and rustled Kageyama’s hair. “Yes. Exactly like a date.”

Kageyama was pretty sure he was dreaming as he walked side by side down the street with Oikawa Tōru, dressed up in fancy clothes provided by the latter, _on their way to a date. ‘No wait’,_ he thought to himself, watching heads turn as the two men walked past, _‘This wouldn’t even happen in my_ **_wildest_ ** _dreams. What the hell?’_ The concept that it was his actual reality was literally impossible for him to believe. Just two days prior, he was living his life as a normal college student, eating cups of ramen and convenience store dinners between classes, only ever socializing with Shōyō and his coworkers at his part time job at the university’s library. Now here he was, sitting in a fancy restaurant he never even looked twice at-- that’s how far out of his budget it was-- with a man he’d slept with three times in the previous twenty four hours. And not just any man-- it was literally the man of his dreams, the man he’d pined after for years and years.

“Tobio-chan, you’re staring again”, grinned the older man as he rolled a cherry tomato back and forth across his plate. “Oh-- um-- sorry”, Kageyama blushed, looking down to his own salad before him. After a brief silence, Oikawa spoke once more. “You know, I was very lucky to run into you”, he said casually as he scooped up a few chunks of lettuce on his fork. “Y- you were?”, asked Kageyama, reaching for his glass of wine, making sure only to take a large sip at most (despite how badly he wanted to down it in its entirety, and then some). “I was”, nodded the older man. Oikawa set his fork down, wiped his mouth off with the napkin in his lap, then leaned forward.

“I’ve been thinking about what you said earlier-- about me being single-- and I do think that it’s less so ‘me being single’ and more so ‘me giving up on dating’. When you date enough people, you realize that people-- on a whole-- are really quite shitty. But then, what better to restore one’s faith in humanity than a childhood flame?” “Well, I don’t think six years ago really counts as ‘childhood’”, Kageyama frowned, “And I don’t think ‘flame’ is really the right term, either. It was more like a fling. And--” “ _No need to nitpick, Tobio-kun_ ”, chided Oikawa, sipping his own glass of wine. “You know… I don’t think anyone has ever liked me as much as you do.” This sudden statement caught Kageyama off guard, causing him to inhale a leaf of lettuce which-- much to his embarrassment-- he choked wildly on. Once he finally got his bearings again (via a large glass of water), he exclaimed, “What makes you think I _like_ you?!”. Oikawa leaned back and grinned. “Oh, please! You don’t even have the ground to stand on, to try to put up such a charade!” Kageyama blushed slightly, knowing full well that this was the truth. “From the way you look at me to how adorably nervous you are to how easily you fell into my bed… It’s obvious that you’ve got it bad for me-- and really, you were like this all those years ago. So pure and innocent, with nothing but love in those eyes.”

“But as I was saying”, Oikawa continued after their waitress removed the largely-empty salad bowls from before them, “I’ve been with my fair share of people-- women and men alike. And no one has ever looked at me quite the way you do. Of course, I’ve had plenty of lovers who were starry-eyed at first, whether it was because they managed to pin someone as gorgeous as myself down--” “wow, so modest”, mumbled the younger man, earning a glare from Oikawa. “--What? It’s true. Sorry to say, Tobio-chan, but when you’re as attractive as I am, it’s really hard to ignore it. I mean, you just said yourself like, an hour ago that I’m quite the catch.” “Yeah, but you don’t have to repeat it!” “... _anyway._ I’ve had plenty of lovers who were happy to be with me, but after they finally get what they want, that look tends to wear off. And then there’s you… someone who’s been looking at me through the same eyes since middle school. It’s really… _refreshing._ ” Kageyama raised an eyebrow over his near-empty wine glass. “Refreshing. That’s the word you’re going with?” “What do you want me to say, Tobio-chan? Refreshing is the word that came to mind. I’ll update you if I come up with something more accurate.” Kageyama frowned.

“Well, you’re wrong”, the dark-haired man said as their dinner was delivered to the table, “I don’t like you. Not even a little.” Oikawa couldn’t help but laugh. “Oh, and I suppose you’re sleeping with me for the free food?”, he grinned, helping himself to a roll from the platter of fancy sushi between the two men. Kageyama nodded as he chewed over his own food. “Exactly. I’m a poor college student. And-- well-- the first time, you took advantage of me, but the second and third time, I _did_ get food afterwards…”. “You do realize”, laughed Oikawa, “that the second time was food I prepared for you out of your own kitchen, right?”. Kageyama shrugged, “Darn. You got me there.”

“And for the record”, started Oikawa as he mulled over his piece of pickled ginger, “I didn’t take advantage of you the first time, either. In fact, _you_ kissed _me_ first. _You_ undressed _me_ , and brought me to your bedroom. I mean-- I wasn’t about to decline such a generous offer, but you were pretty pushy.” “You see”, started Kageyama, swallowing the food he had in his mouth, “the fact that you can remember this sequence of events just goes to show that you did, in fact, take advantage of poor, stupidly drunk me.”

Kageyama was finally able to breathe. Their conversation was flowing easily, as if they were simply two friends out to dinner rather than Oikawa Tōru and the pathetic man who pined after him for almost a decade. And he found that, the more the waitress refilled his wine glass, the easier the conversation got, until he found himself tangled up in the older man’s sheets once more.

There seemed to be a pattern in their interactions, for sure, but Kageyama’s head was swimming too much to be able to identify it.

 _‘I’ll think about it later’_ , he thought to himself as he undid Oikawa’s pants, removing them with all the gentleness and love he possessed.

_‘Maybe tomorrow.’_


	5. Glass Slipper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama leaves Oikawa's apartment, knowing that he may very well never see the brunette again.

Early Sunday morning, a pair of perfectly-lashed brown eyes fluttered open. Their owner, Oikawa Tōru, stretched his arms and his back a bit before rolling over and sighing lightly. The brunette couldn’t help but stare at the sleeping man beside him and wonder to himself, ‘ _What am I doing?’_

 _‘This is Kageyama Tobio’,_ he reminded himself, unable to resist the urge to gently sweep away a lock of soft, black hair that had fallen in the younger man’s face as he slept, _‘This is the boy that confessed to me all those years ago, even though I’d known he liked me for years at that point. This is the boy who gave his everything to me, just because he liked me. And he liked me despite years and years of teasing and mocking, while my attention and affection were spent elsewhere. This is the boy that I rejected, used, and then left in the past where I thought he belonged. How did he wind up in my bed?’_

While it was true that Oikawa had dived headfirst into bedding his former kouhai without making it look like he’d had any reservations whatsoever, the brunette knew that what he was portraying and how he felt were, indeed, two very different things. In reality, Oikawa was a mess of different emotions; happiness, nostalgia, excitement, fear, and dread all swirled around inside the brunette’s heart as he looked upon the younger man.

He’d been genuinely happy to see Kageyama two days prior; he hadn’t seen _anyone_ from what he now referred to as his ‘previous life’ in over a year, and the familiar face brought about a sweet sense of nostalgia. He hadn’t planned on sleeping with Kageyama, or pursuing him in any manner whatsoever, really, but somehow the darker-haired man had gotten to him, reminding him of exactly why he’d taken an interest in Kageyama all those years ago in the first place.

He was excited by his newest conquest. Kageyama was remarkable in bed, and the way that the blue-eyed man got under Oikawa’s skin only made it that much better. His company wasn’t bad, either. Their conversations so far had been pretty good, and the way that Kageyama acted shy and nervous all the time drove Oikawa absolutely _crazy._ It seemed to the older man that Kageyama really hadn’t changed since middle school at all.

That, in and of itself, terrified the former setter. The way that Kageyama spoke to Oikawa, the way he was clearly trying to present the best side of himself, hell, even the way he looked at Oikawa were all the same despite all the time that had passed. Oikawa was very, very afraid that he was going to hurt the younger man, perhaps irreparably this time.

Oikawa had not been in a relationship since he and Iwaizumi parted ways. He could not bring himself to become invested in another person, instead choosing to focus only on himself and his own desires. He’d had plenty of flings, some even spanning the course of a few months, but everything ultimately ended when his partner wanted more commitment from him than he was willing to give. He didn’t feel there was anything particularly _wrong_ about his lifestyle (though plenty of his former lovers would readily disagree); he enjoyed sleeping around and never felt lonely to the point of wanting an actual companion. And, more importantly, keeping things casual meant he never had to experience the pain of heartbreak. People came and went through his life and he was content with it. But as he looked upon the sleeping face of Kageyama Tobio, he couldn’t help but wonder if he was really going to be okay when Kageyama inevitably left his life as well…

It was not his usual modus operandi to see someone multiple days consecutively, nor was it common for him to indulge in sleepovers, but there he was, only just waking up beside Kageyama and already wishing he didn’t have to leave. He leaned in and delicately kissed the top of the younger man’s forehead before quietly rolling out of bed. If he was going to spend his time fretting over such things, he reasoned that, at the very least, he should do so while being productive and burning off some of that excess nervous energy.

 

Kageyama woke up to Oikawa’s warm, gentle lips pressed against his own. The blue eyed man snaked his arms around Oikawa, pulling the brunette into the kiss as he took his time letting the fog of sleep roll out. “Good morning, sunshine”, whispered Oikawa, grinning broadly as Kageyama’s eyes slowly opened, “Come on. I made breakfast.” With one more kiss, Oikawa bounded out of bed, leaving the room as his lover stirred.

A few minutes later, Kageyama emerged from Oikawa’s bedroom fully dressed in the clothes he’d originally worn to Oikawa’s house the night before with the clothing he borrowed for their date in his hand. “Um… what do you want me to do with these?”, the younger man asked quietly, shifting the bundle slightly as he raised his eyes to meet Oikawa’s. The brunette couldn’t help but smile; _God, Tobio was so cute!_ “There’s a hamper in the bathroom, if you want to toss them in there. Otherwise just leave them where ever and I’ll take care of it.” Kageyama nodded, excusing himself momentarily before returning empty-handed.

“Come, sit”, cheered the older man, “the food’s gonna get cold!” Kageyama’s eyes grew big as he approached the table. “I didn’t know what you like, so I made a little bit of everything”, Oikawa laughed as he loaded up his own plate. Spread across the table was essentially a breakfast buffet. Oikawa had made scrambled eggs, toast, bacon, sausage, pancakes, and even a fruit salad, and Kageyama was feeling slightly overwhelmed as he struggled to choose what to eat. “Thank you for this”, the younger man said, a light pink dusting his cheeks as he scooped some eggs onto his plate. Oikawa shook his head and laughed merrily. “Oh, no thanks necessary, Tobio-chan! I was up early this morning and was in the mood for a variety. Hopefully this’ll repay you for the two eggs I took from your fridge yesterday morning.” Kageyama laughed as he poured his coffee. “To be honest, I really wouldn’t have noticed them missing, but yes-- of course.”

The two sat and chatted as they picked at the spread before them. In the middle of their inevitable conversation about what breakfast foods Kageyama actually preferred, Oikawa suddenly jumped in his seat. “Hm? Oh, good morning to you, too, Alexander!”, the older man smiled before ducking under the table briefly, emerging once more with a fluffy white cat in hand. “Alexander?”, Kageyama smirked as he chewed over his bacon. Oikawa nodded. He adjusted the cat in his lap before grabbing a paw and waving at Kageyama. “This is my dear friend Alexander. Alexander, this is Tobio-chan.” Kageyama laughed and bowed politely at the cat. “Good Morning, Alexander-san, it’s very nice to meet you.” Oikawa nuzzled the cat and, speaking affectionately to his pet, said, “I hope you don’t mind that Tobio-chan took your spot last night~” The cat craned its neck to try to break free of Oikawa’s hold, nearly bending in half over the arm that gripped it. The brunette frowned slightly before sighing, _“Fine,_ be like that, asshole”, as he set the four legged creature on the floor. Alexander was gone as suddenly as he’d arrived, but Kageyama couldn’t help but giggle to himself. Oikawa raised an eyebrow and the younger man shook his head. “I was just thinking to myself”, Kageyama started, carefully setting down his coffee cup, “...I remembered that yesterday you said you had a cat, but I didn't really think much of it. But now that I've met Alexander-san, I actually think it’s kinda cute… and…”. The dark-haired man trailed off while his face lit up like a red neon light. The older man smirked and leaned forward on the table. “I'm _dying_ to know what’s got you all flustered, Tobio-chan”, Oikawa purred as he absent-mindedly stirred his coffee. Kageyama stuttered for a minute before finally grinning, “I don't know, the idea of Oikawa-san being alone in a big city and deciding to get a kitty is just too sweet to me. I can just imagine you two cuddling up on a rainy day or something.” Oikawa threw himself into the chair’s back, folding his arms and pouting at the younger man. “Th-- that’s not what happened! I didn't get Alexander because I was _lonely!”--_ that was exactly how it happened, but Oikawa wasn't about to let Kageyama know that-- “A girl I was seeing at the time just _happened_ to have a cat that had just given birth, and she asked me if I could take one of them off of her hands. If anything, _Alexander_ should be grateful to _me_ for giving him such a luxurious life!” Kageyama was dumbfounded. Had he said anything to indicate that Oikawa got the cat because he was lonely, or to suggest that Oikawa should be grateful for Alexander’s company? He didn't think so, but he couldn't be too sure, judging by the older man’s strangely defensive response.

Oikawa knew that he was being weird, too. In truth, Alexander was the only thing that kept Oikawa from falling prey to loneliness. Alexander was always by Oikawa’s side, even if he was a little tsundere about it. He watched nearly everything the brunette did and listened to every word he spoke. He was nearly always in the same room as Oikawa and wouldn’t eat when the older man was gone for longer than a day at a time. Alexander was the only being that Oikawa was comfortable with loving, and judging by Alexander’s reactions whenever the brunette had company over, Oikawa was the only one for Alexander, as well.

Once the two men had finished breakfast (with Kageyama absolutely _insisting_ on doing the dishes while Oikawa scoffed and oversaw the younger man, claiming, “I’ve _seen_ your apartment!” [although he really was just using that as an excuse to ogle Kageyama]) an uncomfortable silence settled between the two men. _What next?_ Neither man had enough experience to be able to make sense of their current circumstance. Kageyama had never had a one night stand, where Oikawa had practically never had people stay the night-- especially not people he’d hoped to see again. The situation was incredibly awkward, and after a few minutes just spent standing around trying to come up with _any_ reason to prolong their day together, Kageyama finally said, “I-- er-- I guess I should get going. I have some… homework that needs to be done.” Oikawa rubbed the back of his neck as he nodded in understanding. “Oh-- yeah-- of course. I also need to do some things. So.”

Oikawa awkwardly walked Kageyama to the door. _‘What exactly is the protocol here?’,_ he wondered to himself as the younger man slipped on his shoes, _‘Do I kiss him goodbye? Do I hug him? Fist bump?’_ “Um, so…”, started the brunette, running his right hand through his hair as he tried to come up with anything worth saying, “...I’ll… see you again soon?”. _‘Crap. Way too direct’,_ he chided himself, cringing at his own betrayal of his emotions. The dark-haired man looked up and grinned, “Yeah, sounds good”. “Good”, Oikawa confirmed stiffly. Another awkward silence settled between them before Kageyama finally turned to leave. “Text me when you’re free, I guess”, he shrugged before opening Oikawa’s front door. The brunette stepped out into the hallway and watched Kageyama press the down button on the elevator. “Sure thing”, the brunette smiled, holding up two fingers as he grinned at the younger man. _‘What the hell am I doing?’,_ he thought to himself, _‘Am I always this awkward?’_ The elevator dinged, and Kageyama waved one more time to Oikawa, who, in turn, waved back.

And that was it.

Kageyama stepped into the elevator and allowed it to take him down to the first floor. It stopped somewhere in between, picking up a mother and her young daughter, before whisking the small compartment down to ground level. The blue-eyed man was relieved that the doorman was a different person than it had been the night prior, and that this particular doorman’s attention was wholly consumed by the precocious little girl that had exited the elevator with Kageyama.

He stepped out into the street, stealing one last glance at the building he’d emerged from before beginning his trek back home. He had just the slightest hint of a headache-- no doubt from his second consecutive night spent over-indulging in alcohol at the behest of his former senpai-- and the glaring sunlight was only making the pain more pronounced.

Kageyama wasn’t entirely sure what had just happened. Did he wake up from a dream just now? He was pretty sure that he’d slept with Oikawa Tōru not once (or even twice) but three times in the span of 24 hours, and then had been treated to a fancy-pants dinner, and then slept with his practically life-long crush _again…_ but that all seemed too fantastical for him to truly believe. He was dreaming. He was delusional. He was… anything that could help him rationalize what had just happened without having to accept it as reality.

He wasn’t sure how he felt about it all, either. There was no denying the fact that Oikawa was _hot._ He always had been, but somehow he was getting better with age, like all those fine wines Kageyama had drank the night before. ‘Things Kageyama drank the night before’ was another category in which Oikawa and wine cohabitated, the younger man mused to himself, before shaking his head in shame and embarrassment.

Eventually Kageyama resolved that his weekend had been a very nice vacation from reality, but unfortunately real life was calling, and he had to wake up from whatever dream he thought he was having. Oikawa had been fun (sure, that was the adjective he was choosing), the sex had been _fun_ (there was definitely a better word somewhere to describe how he actually felt), hell, their whole weekend had been _fun_ (excepting the hangovers he’d experienced-- those were most assuredly _not fun)._ And while Kageyama knew that a part of him was going to feel listless for some time after such a ‘fun’ weekend, he also was certain that this would mark the end of his seeing Oikawa, unless, by some strange twist of fate, they met in a coffeeshop or a grocery store another couple of years down the line, and the whole sequence of events played out once more. Three days was exactly how long he’d spent being romantically-- or was sexually the better term?-- involved with Oikawa last time. There was no surprise to Kageyama that three days was still the brunette’s limit. He laughed to himself as he rounded a corner, realizing that he felt a little bit like Cinderella. Except, instead of having to be home by midnight, he was given a slightly longer deadline of 72 hours. Oh well. It was nice while it lasted, but he was sure that, no matter what happened, Prince Oikawa would not be bringing a glass slipper by anytime too soon…

A sudden yell shook Kageyama from his thoughts. “TOBIO-CHAN!”, the voice cried. It was a familiar voice. Kageyama shook his head and kept walking, resisting the urge to turn around as he knew without a doubt that he was imagining it. No matter how desperately he wanted it to be Oikawa calling after him, he knew that his thoughts were only the same pathetic daydreams he’d experienced all those years ago…

“TOBIO-CHAN!”

_Wow. This was a really persistent fantasy._

A hand suddenly gripped Kageyama’s shoulder, spinning him around to see a very annoyed and somewhat out of breath Oikawa standing behind him. “You idiot!”, the brunette exclaimed, “Don’t even _try_ to tell me you didn’t hear me! What the hell’s your problem?!”. Kageyama remained silent as he scratched his cheek. _How was he supposed to explain that he didn’t react because he thought that Oikawa’s calls were that of a manic fantasy?_ Oikawa huffed before extending his arm. “ _Here._ ”, said the brunette moodily. “You forgot your bag and your phone.” Kageyama just stared at the offering, still not moving.

“I was cleaning my place”, frowned Oikawa, “and found this by the couch. I tried to call you, but when I called I heard your ringtone going off in my bedroom. I guess your phone fell under my bed.”

Still Kageyama stared.

“Um, _hell-o?!_ Baka-geyama! Are you still alive?!”

“Oikawa-san…”, started the younger man, slowly moving his hands to take the bag from the brunette, “...do you wanna go get coffee or something?”.

Oikawa felt his face begin to burn. “Now?! You just _had_ coffee, how much do you drink?!”, he exclaimed, frowning as he looked away from the younger man.

“I suppose it wouldn’t hurt, though”, he added quickly, before Kageyama could have the chance to retract his offer, “I _guess_ I can put off all that… other stuff I had to do.”

Kageyama grinned at the older man.

He guessed that his bag and cell phone could be considered an adequate translation into modern times for a glass slipper; maybe this wasn't a dream-- maybe he  _was_ Cinderella after all.


	6. Contentious Relationships

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa has a big favor to ask of Kageyama, while Kageyama's secret gets out.

It had been nearly two months since Kageyama and Oikawa first ran into each other in the coffee shop on that fateful Friday afternoon, and over that brief period of time, the two men seemed to settle quickly into an alarmingly comfortable routine. Kageyama worked at the library at his college on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesdays from 2 to 6, and Oikawa held volleyball practice after school Monday through Wednesday from 3 to 5 and Thursdays until 7. On days when he got out early enough, Oikawa would go hang out in the library, watching Kageyama put books back in their rightful places. On Friday, after Kageyama’s last class of the week and after Oikawa finished working, one of the two men would pack a bag and go stay at the other’s apartment until early Monday morning, when the weekly grind of school and work resumed once more. Kageyama had admittedly been a little uncomfortable with how quickly they fell into a regular schedule together, but he honestly couldn’t complain; despite the fact that there was still no label that could be applied to their relationship, at the end of the day, he was spending all his time with the man of his dreams. They got along well-- much better than either had expected-- cohabitating comfortably in the days that they spent together and texting often in the days they were apart. And when they were together, the sex was absolutely mind-blowing. Kageyama couldn’t even say for sure who was more into it-- as soon as the apartment door shut on Friday afternoon, they ripped into each other, tearing off their clothes before even setting their bags down.

Their time together was made even more manageable by the fact that Hinata Shōyō hadn’t been reaching out as much lately, as the Spring Collegiate Tournament was well underway. Kageyama often felt guilty, like he was lying to both Oikawa and Hinata, but the truth was, neither man in his life wanted to make any sort of actual commitment to him, so for the time being no one could say that Kageyama was doing anything wrong.

He’d never really gone into detail with Oikawa about his relationship with Hinata, though he was sure that the brunette was aware of the situation, at least to some degree. It was hard not to be when Hinata randomly texted things like, “I miss you” or “When can I see you again?”. However, Hinata had absolutely no clue about Oikawa’s reappearance in Kageyama’s life, and, to be honest, while things were still up in the air with his former senpai, Kageyama intended to keep it that way. Despite all the nights they spent together, Kageyama still half-expected to wake up alone one morning and never hear from the brunette again. He didn’t want to burn his bridge with Hinata before he was sure of Oikawa’s intentions.

One Wednesday evening, while Kageyama was finishing up his shift, a pair of slender arms wrapped themselves around his waist from behind as he reached up to put a large book on the top shelf. _“Hey”,_ whispered a familiar voice-- Kageyama’s favorite voice, in fact, _“I need to talk to you when you’re done.”_ With a quick kiss behind his ear, the voice disappeared, along with the arms that had held him so tightly.

Kageyama wound up clocking out a few minutes early. He was terribly anxious, nervous that today would be the day that Oikawa finally said, “Listen, I can’t do this anymore”, and left Kageyama to his own, boring routine once again. He was practically trembling as he approached the table Oikawa had seated himself at. “Hey”, Kageyama said in a whisper, “I’m done”. Oikawa checked his watch before raising an eyebrow at the younger man. “They let you out early?”, he asked in disbelief. Kageyama shrugged. “I’ve been getting here before my shift starts lately, so…”.

The two walked off of the campus in silence, with Kageyama feeling more and more dread with each step he took. “So, Tobio-chan”, started Oikawa once they were a few blocks away from the college. Kageyama winced slightly, waiting for the final blow once Oikawa began speaking again. “I know you had plans to go home this weekend, but is there any way I can convince you to stay?”. The younger man sighed out of relief and Oikawa looked at him with a question in his eyes. “...What’s up with you?”, the brunette asked as Kageyama breathed in once more. “Oh- uh- no, it’s nothing…”. Oikawa stopped walking and turned to face the other man. “Tell me”, he demanded, stepping close to Kageyama.

The dark-haired man blushed and rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “Well… to be honest, I thought… I thought maybe you were tired of me and were gonna end things.” Oikawa stared blankly at the man before him. “... _What?”_ Kageyama stepped backwards, waving his hands dismissively. “Oh, well, no, you know, I meant--”. “I know what you meant”, said the older man, closing the gap once more, “Is that how little you think of me? That I would just… end things, for no reason?” Kageyama shrugged. “It’s not that I think that way about _you_ , it’s that I worry about how you feel about _me.”_ Oikawa rolled his eyes, but took Kageyama’s hand in his and continued walking. “You’re an idiot, you know?”, he finally said as they turned onto Kageyama’s street.

“Anyway. My work’s throwing this… _'thing'_ that I thought I could get out of. It turns out, they’re honoring me as teacher of the year, so I _have_ to go. Is there any way I could convince you to postpone your trip so you can come with me?” Kageyama, who had been in the middle of unlocking the door to his apartment, dropped his keys. The two stared at the keyring on the floor for a moment before the older man bent down and picked it up. “Hello??? Are you helpless???”, Oikawa asked, placing the keys back in their owner’s hand. Ignoring that, Kageyama turned back to Oikawa. “You want me to go with you… as your date?”. Oikawa rolled his eyes. “Yes, duh, hello. This shouldn’t be a surprise to you, dumbass. I need a date to this thing, and since you’re the person I’ve been seeing lately, I’d like it if you’d come with me.”

Kageyama could hear his heartbeat in his ears. His face was flushed as he struggled with his keys once more. “You realize that, if you take me to this whatever-it-is, people will know that we’re _together,_ right?”, the dark-haired man said as he finally got the right key in the right lock. Oikawa gaped at him. “What the fuck is wrong with you today? _Yes,_ I know that, _I’m_ the one asking you. Do you want to go or not?”. Kageyama set his bag down by the front door and turned back to look at his lover. “Yes-- yes, _I’d love to!”_ , he smiled, his heart racing as he spoke.

Oikawa stepped into the apartment and shut the door behind him before kicking off his shoes and wrapping his arms around Kageyama. “Even though it means cancelling your trip?”, he asked. Kageyama thought for a moment before smiling even broader. “Yes, of course!”, he grinned, leaning into Oikawa’s arms. “Great”, smiled the brunette, pecking the shorter man on the lips, “It’s this Friday night, so as soon as I get out of work, we should go get you something proper to wear.” _“Hey!”,_ cried Kageyama resentfully, “I have plenty of nice clothes!”. Oikawa sighed and shook his head. “No… No, Tobio-chan, you really don’t. But that’s okay. We’ll both get something new and fancy. Now… what do you say about dinner?”.

That night, as Kageyama snuggled up alone under his comforter, he found that he was once again having a hard time grasping the reality of his situation. He was absolutely dumbfounded that Oikawa actually _wanted_ to bring him to a public event such as this. He’d always assumed that he was Oikawa’s ‘dirty little secret’, and imagined that Oikawa kept their affair private so as to keep his own options open. Had he really misjudged this man so poorly?

Kageyama had become downright giddy, thinking that he was going to appear publicly as Oikawa’s… _something._ In fact, Oikawa would have to clarify the nature of their relationship, wouldn’t he? Would he introduce Kageyama as ‘a friend’ or would he perhaps refer to him as his ‘boyfriend’? The more obscure ‘partner’? Kageyama couldn’t wait to find out where he stood.

The chime of Kageyama's text tone rang out through the room, piercing the young man's racing, excited thoughts and drawing him back to reality. He quickly rolled across his bed, grabbing his phone from its resting place on his nightstand, ready to exchange the sweet nothings that he and Oikawa often sent back and forth on the evenings they spent apart. However, the moment he held his phone screen up to his face, his mood plummeted. Not only was it  _not_ Oikawa texting him: the message that had come in was, in fact, from Hinata.

 **Shōyō (10:02pm):** Hey, ur train gets in at 8:30 on fri, right? Just trying 2 plan out the weeknd! :)

_Fuck._

Kageyama had, in fact, lied to Oikawa when he told him he was going home for the weekend. Instead, he'd agreed to go watch Hinata’s collegiate volleyball team compete in the semi-finals. The redhead's team had successfully made it past regionals and into nationals and were now one of eight teams competing for the title. A knot formed in Kageyama’s stomach. How was he supposed to say, ‘Oh, no, I’m gonna stay here and go to a fancy gala with my new lover’ to the boy he’d cared so much about for so long?

\---

If there was one thing Hinata Shōyō was good at, it was awful timing. This was something Kageyama was beginning to realize as the boy he’d grown so close to over the last three years confessed to him… right after they found out that they would be going to schools on literal opposite ends of the country.

“I didn’t want to tell you before you picked your school”, the redhead confessed with tears in his eyes, “because I didn’t want to hold you back. I mean, it’s bad enough that I got in on a volleyball scholarship after what happened…”.

‘What happened’ was that, in the early spring of his third year, Kageyama fell during a particularly difficult receive and fractured his wrist. He was never able to set quite like he used to, and soon his passion for volleyball ebbed away, only to be replaced with a recurring pain whenever it was about to rain. The whole team was devastated, and Hinata had even offered to quit volleyball altogether if it would make Kageyama happy. It wouldn’t, of course. Nothing could. Which was why Kageyama applied to the furthest schools he could, hoping that something would let him start over somewhere else, and live a life where people didn’t look at him with pity in their eyes.

“...I wanted you to go for something that you wanted to, at a college you wanted to go to. I didn’t want you to feel like you had to pick your major based on what the school I got into offered… I mean-- that’s assuming you even accepted my confession! I’m sorry, Tobio…”.

Kageyama felt absolutely helpless. He’d chosen his school as far away from home as possible and got in on early acceptance. He’d committed to going to that school, and his parents had already paid his first semester’s tuition… It was like what had happened with Oikawa all over again. Maybe even worse, as both boys actually had feelings for one another in this scenario.

Kageyama had nothing he could say to make things better. He wished he could go back in time and confess to Hinata when he realized he had feelings for the small redhead. But, then again, if he was going back in time, he would’ve rathered go back to the moment that ruined his life so he could stop himself from trying to save that one measly point.

All he could do was kiss the boy before him.

The two shed many a tear together, agonizing over what could be done in their situation. Ultimately they decided to remain as friends, with the addition of romantic and sexual benefits whenever they met up with one another, until their four years of undergrad school were done, at which point they’d talk about maybe moving in together somewhere closer to home. In their first and second years they met up often-- at least twice a month-- but as their programs of study intensified, they saw less and less of each other.

\---

As it stood, Kageyama hadn’t seen Hinata in nearly four months. In the first month or two, he often tried to plan meet ups, though their plans always seemed to fall through for one reason or another. Kageyama still cared deeply for Hinata-- maybe even loved him-- but who could blame him for choosing the comfort in his immediate environment over something vague and far off?

 **Tobio (10:15pm):** Hey, sorry I didn’t text you sooner but I just found out that I need to work this weekend and there’s no one around to cover the shifts :(  
**Tobio (10:16pm):** I’m really sorry Shō. I really wanted to be there for you  
**Shōyō (10:18pm):** That’s okay! Just promise that ull come 2 the finals, ok? (ᗒᗨᗕ)  
**Tobio (10:20pm):** I swear, even if I wind up getting fired for it, that I will be there when u go 2 finals :)  
**Shōyō (10:21pm):** (´ε｀ )♡  
**Tobio (10:22pm):** （〃・ω・〃）

Well, that was it: his plans were cancelled, and he was free to go with Oikawa. He just wished he didn’t have to feel so scummy about it.

The next night, as he sat in front of the tv trying to write a paper that he had absolutely zero interest in, his phone rang. He grabbed it from the cushion beside him and was surprised to see that it was Oikawa. The two very rarely called one another, choosing to communicate almost solely via text instead.

“Um… hello?”, he asked uncertainly. “Hey baby, I’m bringing over dinner. What kind of curry do you want?”, came the voice on the other end. Kageyama felt his heart skip a beat at the word ‘baby’. That was the first term of endearment expressed by either man, and he began feeling giddy all over again. Was this work thing really that big of a deal to Oikawa, that he suddenly expressed his feelings for Kageyama a little more openly? Additionally, did that mean that-- “Hello?”, called the voice on the other end, “Are you still there?” “Ah- um- whatever you're getting for yourself is fine for me”, he said, before quickly exchanging goodbyes with Oikawa. He quickly packed up his schoolwork and turned off the tv, tidying up his apartment a little bit before Oikawa arrived.

15 minutes later he heard the lock to his apartment door turn, and a very wet Oikawa stepped into his living room. “Oh my gosh, stay right there, I’ll go grab a towel!”, Kageyama exclaimed before leaping towards his bathroom. Moments later he returned, unfolding a towel before drying off the older man’s head. “It’s _pouring_ outside”, groaned Oikawa, “The weather didn’t say _anything_ about the skies suddenly opening up!”. Kageyama pouted mockingly as he took Oikawa’s light jacket from him. “Poor baby”, he whined, “I know how you hate getting your hair messed up…”. “Is it messed up?”, Oikawa asked suddenly, darting to the bathroom to look in the mirror, “Shit.” Oikawa sat at the table where Kageyama was setting out their food. “You know, Tobio-chan, you’re the only person who has seen me this disheveled in at least five years.” Kageyama laughed as he looked up at the older man. “I’ve seen you in the shower. You don’t think you look _more_ disheveled with your hair matted around your face?” “At least then I have an excuse!”, defended the brunette as he fussed with his locks, hoping that he could somehow restore them to their natural, glorious state.

A realization hit Kageyama as he watched the man before him, and he wasn’t entirely sure how he felt about it. It suddenly seemed to the dark-haired man that they were acting like a proper couple. Oikawa was the hardworking husband who worked all day and brought home dinner, while Kageyama was the adoring wife who looked after her hopeless husband whenever something went wrong. To be honest, Kageyama was a little bothered that, in his own fantasy, he was the wife, but other than that he couldn’t find a reason to complain about their arrangement. And as Oikawa rambled on and on about the weather, Kageyama couldn’t help but smile.

“So anyway, they gave me tomorrow off as one of the perks for being the recipient. I guess it’s usually ladies who win the award and have to go get their hair done before the big event or whatever.” Kageyama raised a skeptical eyebrow at the brunette. “And you’re telling me that, after today’s weather, you’re _not_ going to go get your hair done?” Oikawa scrunched up his nose and stuck his tongue out at the younger man, who giggled in response.

“But _anyway,_ what time are you getting out of class tomorrow?” “11”, Kageyama replied through a mouth full of food. “Perfect. I’ll meet you at the front gates and we can go shopping then. I was honestly a little worried about the timing-- having to work, then figure out where to meet up with you, go shopping, and then come home and get dressed-- but if I stay here tonight and meet you as soon as you’re out, we shouldn’t run into any problems.”  

Kageyama nodded as he scooped up a potato and some rice. “This is really good”, the younger man remarked, “where’d you get it?” “Oh, the place is just a couple blocks away. It’s a little hole in the wall, but one of my student’s parent’s recommended it.” “Mm, glad you listened”, nodded Kageyama, ushering another spoonful of curry into his mouth.

The two moved to the couch after dinner and just talked about their respective days while Oikawa lay in Kageyama’s lap. Kageyama played with the half-damp locks, curling them around his index finger as he told Oikawa about the new lab he’d started in chemistry. “...so the lab has students from all four classes, and we have to work in groups of at least two people. I didn’t ask anyone because, you know--” “--you’re terribly antisocial--” “I am _not!_ I just… don’t… like… people.” Kageyama sighed. “Fine, when I put it like that, I guess you’re right- I am little bit antisocial. I just don’t understand why I’m supposed to trust someone else with _my_ grade!” “Once a king, always a king”, hummed Oikawa as he grinned from ear to ear. Kageyama lightly bopped him on his head and Oikawa began whining. “Like you’re one to talk”, huffed the younger man, “Didn’t Shōyō used to call you the Great King?” “Oh yeah!”, laughed Oikawa, “I completely forgot about that!” “Yeah, well, remember that you’re more of a ‘king’ than I am and hush.” “So mean!” “But anyway, this other guy came over and asked if I wanted to partner up with him, and I agreed to it since it wasn’t like I was about to go intrude on some other group, and--” “Is he cute?”, interrupted Oikawa, his smile quickly disappearing from his face. “What? Are you stupid? _No one’s_ cute compared to you”, reassured Kageyama, though he couldn’t help but blush as he said such embarrassing and overly flirtatious things.

Oikawa sat up and leaned towards Kageyama with a huge smile plastered across his face. “You always know just what to say, don’t you, Tobio-chan~”, he purred, leaning in and kissing the younger man deeply. When he finally pulled back, Kageyama shrugged. “I can’t help it. You’ve set the bar too high.” Oikawa stood and quickly picked up his lover, carrying him in both arms as if he weighed nothing. “Well now”, the older man started, heading towards the bedroom, “I guess I should find a way to thank you for flattering me like this.”

Oikawa gently placed Kageyama atop his comforter before dashing out to the living room once more, calling behind him, “Oh, wait, I got something cool!”. He returned to the bedroom with a small plastic bag in hand. The brunette fell onto the bed, draping an arm and a leg around the younger man. “So remember that thing we did last weekend that you really liked?”, he asked eagerly. “What thing?”, replied Kageyama, “I like everything you do.” Oikawa grinned broadly. “You know, where I bound your wrists with my tie and blindfolded you?” “Oh! Yes-- that. Of course I remember.” “Well it turns out”, started Oikawa as he unravelled the bag from the ball he had it in, “that they sell things like that.” “...Sell things like what?” “You know… stuff to tie you up!”

Kageyama sat up and looked skeptically at the older man. “ _Where_ do they sell ‘things like that’?” “Um, duh, adult stores. I dropped by one on a whim today and--” “You mean you actually _go_ to places like that?!”, Kageyama exclaimed, eyeing the bag suspiciously. Oikawa sat up as well, laughing as he said, “Yes, I do. Don’t be such a prude-- sex is good for you! And anyway, I think you’re really gonna like what I got.”

From the bag, Oikawa pulled something small and black that Kageyama could not easily identify. “It’s basically handcuffs”, said the older man as he opened one of the cuffs, “but instead of metal, it’s this like, velvety fabric. They’re pretty thick, too, so you can’t work your way out of them easily.” Oikawa put his hand in the bag once more and pulled out another small black object. “And _this_ is-- well-- a blindfold. Not really much to it. So-- what do you say, you wanna try it?” Kageyama looked between the two objects for a moment before looking up to the handsome man propositioning him. “Sure, why not?”, he shrugged, though after a moment he added, “but don’t think I’m not still skeeved out by the idea of you going to a place like that.”

“Point taken, point taken”, laughed Oikawa as he helped Kageyama out of his shirt. “Now… do you want to be on your back or your knees?”, asked the older man before lowering his mouth to Kageyama’s neck. “Whatever you prefer”, Tobio gasped, threading his fingers through Oikawa’s copper hair in the hopes that he could goad the older man into biting down harder.

Oikawa gently guided Kageyama so that his chest and shoulders were pressed against the bed before taking his hands and pinning them behind the younger man’s back. He then slipped on the blindfold. “Since most of your face will be covered by the blindfold anyway”, Oikawa started as he dragged Kageyama’s shorts down past his ass, “I figured this might be the better position for when we play like this.” Kageyama stuck out one leg at a time, allowing Oikawa to slip his bottoms off completely. Oikawa grinned as a mischievous idea crossed his mind. He gripped the younger man’s ass and spread his cheeks as wide as he could. Kageyama jumped when he first felt the foreign sensation and it took him an embarrassingly long time to process what, exactly, the heat he felt probing him was.

“H- hey!”, he yelled back, though his voice was somewhat muffled by the comforter his face was planted in, “I didn’t say you could do that!”. Oikawa pulled back from Kageyama’s ass, grinning wildly at the amazing ways that the younger man was reacting to his tongue. “You need only say the word and I’ll stop”, he hummed, before dragging his tongue over Kageyama’s opening once more.

In the course of their sexual exploits, Kageyama felt it pertinent to invoke a safe word. After some small debate, the two settled on the word ‘mango’. All Kageyama had to do to end any action on Oikawa’s part was utter this word, and Oikawa was honorbound to stop. And though he found Oikawa’s current method of stimulation to be somewhat uncomfortable, he couldn’t bring himself to say the magic word. The discomfort he felt was solely emotional in nature; physically, it felt _amazing._

Soon Kageyama was moaning and bucking his hips back in response to Oikawa’s stimulation. Oikawa ate him out for several minutes before he was unable to resist his own raw, carnal desires any longer. “Oh”, he said as he stripped himself of his own clothes, “I forgot-- I’ll be right back.”

The older man dashed into the living room and searched through his bag for the one _real_ reason he’d gone to the sex shop: the two were out of lube, and he heard from partners in the past that the lubricants they sold at convenience stores were far from optimal for anal sex. He fished out the bottle, which had rolled out of the plastic bag it was initially in, before setting his bag back down on the floor by the doorway. As he headed back towards the bedroom, he saw Kageyama’s phone light up out of the corner of his eye. The two had been surprisingly open with each other over the past two months; neither minded when the other flipped through their phone and oftentimes when either of them got a message and the other was closer to the phone, the closer one would simply read the message off to the intended recipient.

That would not be the case this time, however. When he reactivated the phone screen, he could see that Kageyama had received three texts in the brief amount of time they’d spent in the bedroom, the last of which being the one that drew Oikawa’s attention to the device in the first place.

 **Shōyō (8:25pm):** Hey, so i thought about it alot and i decided that im gonna come up there on sat after the game if thats ok. ik itll only be 1 nite but its been 2 long since we saw eachother. 2 weeks is 2 long but somehow were already @ 4 months?!!!!  
**Shōyō (8:26pm):** ik ur prolly workin rite now so unless u tell me not 2 come ill b there at like 6 @ ur apt.  
**Shōyō (8:28pm):** cant wait 2 c u ( ˘ ³˘)♥

Oikawa cast a glance to the bedroom door. _‘Kageyama Tobio, you naughty, naughty boy’,_ he thought to himself as he unlocked Kageyama’s phone. He deleted the messages from Hinata, setting the phone back down where he found it, and returned to the bedroom. In the few short seconds since he saw the messages from Hinata, he’d already formulated a devious plan.

“Sorry”, Oikawa said as he returned to the bedroom, taking his position behind Kageyama once more. “The real reason I went to the sex shop was to get more lube.” “I figured”, came Kageyama’s muffled voice, “but it wasn’t in the bag you had” “Yeah, it fell out. This is new stuff, so let me know if you like it more or less than the other things we’ve tried.” Kageyama nodded into the bed, then shuddered as Oikawa applied the chilly lubricant directly to his sensitive flesh.

Oikawa eased himself into Kageyama quickly; over the period of the last two months, he’d gotten to know Kageyama quite well, and learned at exactly what angle he should be inserting himself in from any position. Kageyama was also a fast learner, doing everything he could, in turn, to accommodate Oikawa.

It seemed as if the younger man was enjoying himself more today than in the past as Oikawa slammed into him. “You like being tied up, huh?”, Oikawa called as he plunged himself as deeply into the younger man as he could. “Yes!”, Kageyama cried out, though Oikawa wasn’t sure if it was in response to the question or the sensation. “You like when I fuck you like this?”, the older man grinned as he gripped Kageyama’s hips even tighter. “God, yes!”, came the response. “You wouldn’t let anyone else fuck you like this, would you?” _Oops._ Oikawa’s internal monologue leaked out. Luckily, Kageyama was no wiser, as he cried back, “Never! Only Oikawa-san can fuck me!”. Oikawa slapped Kageyama’s ass _hard_ , drawing an erotic moan from the younger man's peachy lips, and grinned, “You always know just what to say, don’t you?”.

The two men showered together when they were done, both finding that, while the anal lube worked amazingly for its intended purpose, it was a little bit harder to clean off of them when they were done. After the shower, they watched tv for a little bit before heading to bed. Oikawa had been notably quiet, but he waved off Kageyama’s concerns, reminding the younger man that he spent all day working with middle schoolers, and some days were naturally more stressful than others. Of course, it wasn’t his students that were stressing Oikawa out, but he wasn’t about to tell Kageyama the truth and ruin his own plans.

The two snuggled up in bed, laying together in silence for a long while before the brunette worked up the courage to speak. “Tobio-chan”, Oikawa called into the darkness, “You know I care about you, right?”, he asked as he clung to the younger man’s back. Kageyama looked over his shoulder and asked, “Are you okay?”. Oikawa nodded. “Where is this coming from?”, asked the younger man. “Just thinking. Tomorrow means a lot to me. I only want to bring you because I care about you, and want you to start learning more about my life outside of you.” Kageyama rolled over and kissed Oikawa’s lips deeply. “That’s… literally the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.” “Yeah, don’t get used to it”, laughed the older man. Kageyama settled back down in his position as the little spoon and laced his fingers in Oikawa’s. “I care about you, too. But then again, you already knew that.” “It’s nice to hear it out loud, I guess”, admitted Oikawa. The oppressive silence regained its hold on the room, and soon enough Oikawa knew that Kageyama was sleeping.

He waited a long while-- what felt like at least an hour-- before getting out of bed once more. He grabbed Kageyama’s phone from the nightstand and went into the bathroom with it. He looked through Kageyama’s conversation with Hinata, trying to discern what, exactly, the nature of their relationship had been, at least since he’d started hooking up with Kageyama. He was pleased to find that the conversation was spotty and sporadic, and was initiated by Hinata more often than not. In most situations, when Hinata would say something like “I miss you”, Kageyama would reply with a less-committal “miss u 2”. Though that wouldn’t seem like a big deal to most, when Oikawa texted Kageyama something similar, Kageyama would always reply with something along the lines of “I miss you more! :( ”. When Hinata sent lovey emoticons, Kageyama always responded with something more chaste. It seemed clear to Oikawa that he was trying to revert his relationship with Hinata from… whatever it had been, back into friendship.

When he was satisfied that nothing truly uncouth had happened while he was with the blue-eyed setter, Oikawa scrolled through the rest of his messages, just to see who else he might have to worry about. There were a lot of messages from family-- his mom, his dad, and his uncle were the three most frequent messengers aside from Hinata and Oikawa himself. He scrolled until he got to the newest messages, where a conversation with one single exchange sat. The sender’s name was ‘Kawanishi’. _Why did that sound familiar?_ All that was said was simply:

 **Kawanishi (12:20pm):** hey this is Kawanishi from Chem-102. Ill let u kno if i have ne issues with the hw

 _What?_ It took Oikawa a long moment to recall the conversation with Kageyama in which he said that he had gotten a new lab partner, though Oikawa did not recall the younger man mentioning a name… let alone one so unsettlingly familiar. Why was this name ringing bells?

As Oikawa climbed back into bed after replacing Kageyama’s phone once more, he couldn’t help but pull the younger man into him. The text message from Hinata had not been a surprise to Oikawa. He’d seen occasional messages from the redhead pop up here and there, each along the lines of ‘I miss you’. But Kageyama had declined to talk about Chibi-chan on the first night they hung out, and Oikawa really didn’t feel like pressing the issue. Besides, Kageyama had spent practically _all_ his free time with Oikawa. The brunette didn’t think he had to worry about the redhead, since there was literally no time in which Oikawa wasn’t the center of Kageyama’s attention, and found that it was just easier to not think about him than to wonder what the true nature of their relationship was.

The more he thought about it, the more Oikawa realized that the only crime Kageyama could be accused of was lying. He lied to Hinata-- often, it would seem. He would tell the redhead that he was at work or in class at times that Oikawa knew that they were together. He also told Hinata that he couldn’t go to his game this weekend because of work, when it was really because of the gala Oikawa had asked him to attend. This also meant he’d lied to Oikawa as well when he told him that he was going home for the weekend. Apparently the two were going to meet up in Tokyo, where the national semi-finals were being held. But even that, Oikawa couldn’t really complain about. He honestly felt like he deserved the younger man’s distrust in him after everything they’d been through.

He didn’t _blame_ Kageyama for whatever the conversation with Hinata could be chalked up to. Oikawa was the one who’d declined to give Kageyama a label to apply to their relationship; technically there hadn’t even been any discussion about whether they were exclusive or not (unless you counted the brief exchange they had during sex earlier that night). The brunette resolved to put all of these things to rest, despite his own issues. He didn’t want to have to worry about who Kageyama was with, and he most certainly didn’t want to share the one thing in the world he felt was truly his. He knew, deep down inside, that he might never be able to love again after the damage that was done by Iwaizumi all those years ago, but still, he thought, as he began drifting off to sleep… he might like to try.


	7. Frustration and Preparation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama and Oikawa prepare for Oikawa's fancy work dinner

Oikawa stood waiting outside of Kageyama’s university at quarter to 11, eager to see his lover once more. He vaguely remembered a kiss goodbye in the wee hours of the morning while he was still more than half asleep, but other than that all he could think about was the message from Hinata that Kageyama didn’t know about. He felt that he’d taken it well when he first saw it, but the more he allowed it to marinate in his mind, the more irritated he found himself growing with the situation. Why, out of all of the people in the _world,_ did Chibi-chan have to be the one that was into Kageyama?

 Hinata was the _only_ person that Oikawa considered a threat to his… _thing_ with Kageyama. Kageyama had always liked Oikawa-- practically from the moment they met when Kageyama was nothing more than a first year in middle school all the way to present date. Kageyama had confessed to Oikawa after knowing Chibi-chan for a whole _year._ But still… the bond the setter had with his spiker was undeniable, and even people meeting them for the first time could tell that they were really close. It pissed Oikawa off.

He knew he was superior to Chibi-chan in literally every way-- looks, intelligence, even skill in volleyball-- but there was one battle in which he could not guarantee his victory, and that battle was in closeness to Kageyama. The jealousy was eating at the brunette, turning his stomach and pounding inside his head.

“Hey… are you okay?”, asked a familiar voice. Oikawa snapped his head towards the origin of the sound so quickly that he felt a muscle pinch in his neck, though he played it off as if nothing was wrong at all. “Oh, hey”, he called, wrapping his arms around the younger man and kissing him deeply. _“Oikawa!”,_ Kageyama chastised, “Not here!”. Oikawa simply blew a raspberry before taking Kageyama’s hand in his and starting down the street. “Why, you don’t want your lab partner boyfriend to know you’re taken?”, Oikawa asked bitterly, kicking an errant stone in his path. “What? I didn’t even _have_ lab today.” The brunette tilted his head to the sky. Why did he have to take interest in someone so blissfully unaware of the world around them?

“So he _is_ your boyfriend then?”, Oikawa teased again, trying to draw out the words he wanted to hear. “What? What is wrong with you today? If he was my boyfriend, don’t you think I’d be walking down the street hand-in-hand with _him?” ‘Fair point’,_ thought Oikawa, _‘though he still hasn’t said that he doesn’t like him…’._ Kageyama sighed, “I just… don’t need anyone to know anything about me, really.” “So what you’re saying is, you’re not out yet?”. Kageyama glared at the older man. “No, that’s not what I’m saying. While, yes, that is true in the sense that no one here knows I’m gay, no one really knows anything about me, and I prefer to keep it that way. That’s all. I have no problem letting the rest of the world know we’re together, but I don’t want to bring anything that doesn’t have to do with school, to school.” Oikawa nodded in understanding and said, “I can respect that.” After a short silence, though, he added, “Although I’m pretty sure everyone already knows you’re gay. I mean, an impossibly gorgeous man comes and watches you work, _only_ on days that you’re there, sometimes pulling you down aisles to plant kisses on your innocent, unsuspecting face. Then you leave with that man and hold hands as you walk home…”. “Point taken”, nodded Kageyama, “Stop coming to my job.” “ _Tobio-chan!”_

Soon the two arrived at the department store and headed straight to the menswear section. “Now, Tobio-chan, for you I’m thinking a three piece suit, pin-stripes on the vest, with a black tie and, mm… maybe a grey shirt? No- no! A blue shirt, to bring out your eyes! And for me… hm. This is tough…” “Why, because you own everything here already?”. Oikawa shot a glare at Kageyama. “It’s not _my_ fault that only one of us cares about the way we present ourselves to the world. And since this is _my_ gala, _I’m_ picking out what you wear.” Kageyama shrugged as he kicked at a scrap on the carpet. “I mean, you’re paying for it, so who am I to complain?”

“As for me…”, Oikawa hummed, ignoring Kageyama’s comment as he looked through the racks, “hmm… I think… I think I’ll go the classic route, with an obsidian suit, pitch vest, jet tie, and then just a white shirt. What do you think?”. Kageyama gaped at the other man. “Were those… colors? Or styles…? ...brands? What did you just say, that I’m supposed to have an opinion on?”. Oikawa scoffed and frowned, “Tobio-chan, you’re hopeless! Come, let’s go find a salesperson.”

Nearly two hours later, both men left the department store with suits tailored to their individual shapes and sizes. “Now, Tobio-chan”, Oikawa started, carrying the bagged suits as carefully as if he were carrying half a dozen eggs while Kageyama lazily swung the bag that held their new shoes, “when you are standing, your suit jacket must always be buttoned. Before you sit down, open the buttons so that your suit jacket does not wrinkle when you sit. Always smooth out your pants before you sit as well.” Kageyama sighed as he followed the older man. “Are you gonna make me regret agreeing to go with you…?”, he asked demurely.

The two arrived back at Kageyama’s place, where Oikawa promptly unwrapped the suits, inspecting them to make sure that everything was _absolutely perfect_ before finally hanging them carefully in the closet. “To-bi-o-chan~”, Oikawa sang out, throwing himself on the couch and laying his head in Kageyama’s lap. “Hm?”, asked the younger man, who was trying to get some of the mandatory reading he was assigned for sociology done while Oikawa fussed over the suits. “Let’s play”, the brunette hummed, rolling towards Kageyama’s abdomen. The younger man sighed, replacing his bookmarker before tossing his book on top of his bag on the floor. “You are _insatiable_ ”, Kageyama whispered, running the back of his hand along Oikawa’s face. Oikawa grinned, then pulled the younger man down by his collar, craning his neck so he could kiss him. “You know”, Oikawa started as he lay his head back, “we should go to the sexy store together. I’d love to see the kinds of things you’d pick out.” _“Oikawa.”_ “What? I’m just _saying.”_ “Me too. I’m just saying: I have no interest in going to a place like that.” Oikawa scoffed and stared at Kageyama for a moment before sitting up.

“Tobio-chan”, he said seriously, “I have a question for you.” “Yes?”, Kageyama replied, heart racing in sudden anxiety. Oikawa was never one to beat around the bush or to preface the words that he had to say, so the younger man couldn’t even _fathom_ what was about to come out of his lover’s mouth. “Why don’t you ever call me Tōru?”, the brunette asked, extending his lower lip in a deep pout. “...what?”, choked Kageyama, relieved that the question was much tamer than he’d expected, but ultimately confused by what Oikawa was saying. “You never call me by my given name. You never, ever have, not even once, while all I ever call you is Tobio-chan.” “And Tobio-kun”, added the younger man. Oikawa frowned. “You’re not helping.”

Kageyama lulled his head for a moment. “So, what you’re saying is, you want me to call you by your given name, then?”, he asked, looking over to the brunette, who immediately scrambled to try to take back what he said. “Well-- no!”, Oikawa yelled, shifting his positioning to look away from the younger man, “That’s not what I’m saying at all! What I mean is… It’s just…!” “It’s okay”, Kageyama smiled warmly, placing his hand gently on Oikawa’s thigh, “I think I know what you mean. I’ll try to do better.” In contrast to the light dusting of pink across Kageyama’s cheeks, Oikawa’s face burnt crimson. After a pregnant silence, he finally exclaimed, “You don’t have to be so _cute_ about it, okay?!”

Oikawa stood up in a huff and stormed off towards the bedroom while Kageyama sat staring after him. A moment later, a shirtless Oikawa appeared in the doorway and yelled, “Get your adorable little ass in here so I can fuck it!”

Kageyama couldn’t hide his smirk as he followed the instructions; Not only was he able to fluster Oikawa, but Oikawa called him ‘adorable’. (Or, at the very least, one of his body parts.) _That_ was impressive.

 


	8. All Dressed Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa and Kageyama attend Oikawa's 'Teacher of the Year' award dinner

“Come on, Oikawa, the car’s here”, Kageyama called as he buttoned the last button of his sleeve. Oikawa had been in the bathroom for over an hour and at the rate he was going the car that had been hired to take them to and from the gala was going to leave them behind. The dark-haired man paced the floor for several minutes before finally resolving to go in and _drag_ Oikawa out of the apartment, whether he was ready or not. Just as he reached for the handle, the bathroom door swung open, and in the doorway stood a veritable demigod. Kageyama felt his heart flutter as he looked over the well-dressed man before him. He wasn’t sure what, exactly, had taken an entire _hour,_ especially considering that the two men showered together earlier in the day, but he still could not deny that he was impressed.

Oikawa’s suit was all black, save the white shirt he wore beneath the vest, and fit him like a glove. It looked like he was _born_ to wear that suit. His hair was perfectly teased though Kageyama wasn’t sure how, as it didn’t look like the older man used any hair care product at all; his copper locks looked as light as always, and bounced ever so slightly when he moved. But the thing that made Kageyama swoon the most was the devilishly handsome smile plastered across his perfect face.

The two stared at each other in silence for a long moment before Oikawa finally choked out, _“Wow.”_ Kageyama-- whose throat had all but completely dried up-- nodded and managed a simple, _“Yeah”._ It was only once the younger man remembered that the car was still waiting on them that he was finally able to break free from Oikawa’s spell. “Come on, we need to get going”, Kageyama said, blushing deeply as he put his shoes on. Oikawa slipped on his own shoes and stood, though upon looking at his lover again he couldn’t help himself; the brunette reached out and pulled the younger man into an embrace, lustily pressing his lips to Kageyama’s. “Are you sure we need to go?”, Oikawa whispered once he pulled away from Kageyama’s lips. The blue-eyed man nodded. “Yes. Everyone’s expecting you.” Oikawa pouted. “It’s no _fair!_ Can’t we just stay here, and I can get you out of that suit you look so good in?”. Kageyama smirked, leaning up and pecking the older man once more. “Let’s go.”

The driver was understanding-- _‘Certainly more understanding than I would’ve been’,_ Kageyama thought to himself as he mentally checked off taxi/limo driver from his list of potential career fall-back options. The dark-haired man couldn’t help but steal more than occasional glances at his lover. He’d always been enamored with Oikawa’s looks, but seeing him dressed up like this was almost more than he could take. As captivating as the brunette’s appearance was… something else sat in the forefront of Kageyama’s mind as he gazed at Oikawa.

When he and Oikawa had sex earlier, Oikawa had been exceedingly attentive to him. There wasn’t an inch of his body that the older man didn’t touch while Kageyama was tied up. But there was more to it than that… somehow everything Oikawa did just seemed to be more tender-- as if he was actually taking Kageyama’s feelings into consideration. The dark-haired man was actually legitimately worried that something was wrong with Oikawa when he outright said that he cared about Kageyama the night before, though he could not hide the fact that he was immensely pleased with the admission. There was just something… _different_ about Oikawa over the last few days, and Kageyama couldn’t quite put his finger on what it was.

As the car pulled up to the banquet hall on the edge of the city, Kageyama’s eyes grew huge. “Um… Oikawa-san”, he whispered, “...where are we?”. Oikawa raised an eyebrow as he watched Kageyama’s face glow in wonder. “...we’re at the gala”, he said blankly. “What, did you think they were holding this at the middle school?”. The growing color in Kageyama’s cheeks revealed that, yes, that was exactly what he thought. The brunette couldn’t help but laugh. “You really thought--”, he snorted, trying to keep his composure-- “that we were getting so dressed up just to go to a school cafeteria?!”. Kageyama frowned at Oikawa as his face burnt red. “Yes, actually, I did!”, he exclaimed defensively, “That’s why I thought you were being ridiculous when you made fun of my wardrobe. But… … …now I definitely agree that I don’t own anything that I could’ve worn here.” Oikawa took Kageyama’s hand in his own and grinned, “You do now!”.

The two stepped out of their limo and Oikawa handed a wad of bills to the chauffeur before extending his arm to Kageyama. The younger man looked at him with a question in his eyes, and Oikawa sighed. As if he could read Kageyama’s mind, he thrust his arm out farther and groaned, “Just-- just take my arm, okay? You’re my date for tonight. It doesn’t matter that you’re a guy. I’d be doing this if you were a lady, too, okay?” With a deep breath, Kageyama wrapped his arm around Oikawa’s and together the two started into the hall. “I just… don’t want this to hurt your career”, frowned Kageyama. “What the hell are you going on about?”, spat Oikawa, though the face he had plastered on was one of joy and grace, “Nobody gives a shit what gender my date is. People are gonna hate you regardless of whether you’re a man or a woman for taking me off the market.” Kageyama rolled his eyes. “Oh, ha ha”, he said sarcastically. This, however, caused Oikawa to stop walking. He dropped his personable facade and turned to look at his lover. “Tobio-chan, I’m not joking or being conceited or anything. I-- uh-- I’ve casually dated a _lot_ of my coworkers. Men and women alike. And… well… How do I put this… I’m not much for second dates, but since I haven’t actually been _with_ someone since I started working here, nobody’s given up hope. You should _see_ my haul on Valentine’s Day”-- Oikawa laughed, before sobering up once more-- “...but yeah. I’m gonna stay by your side for as much of the night as I can, but don’t be surprised if you get a few less-than-savory remarks.” With that, Oikawa’s face lit up again and he continued walking into the building.

 _‘Great’,_ thought Kageyama, _‘I have enemies before I’ve even stepped foot inside this place. Fantastic.’_

Oikawa signed the two men in at the guestbook in front of the reception room, returning to Kageyama with seat cards. “We’re at the head table”, he grinned. “I should hope so”, frowned Kageyama, “since you’re being honored.” “Don’t be such a party pooper, Tobio-chan! Come on, let’s go meet some people!”. “...can we stop by the bar first?”

With a glass of whiskey in one hand and Kageyama’s hand in the other, Oikawa headed over to their table. As he approached, he saw the principal and vice principal seated next to each other, seemingly deep in discussion. Oikawa quietly set his place card down at the table, careful not to interrupt his bosses discussion, though when they saw him, both jumped up. “Oh, look who it is-- it’s the man of the hour! Tōru, so glad you could make it!”, enthused the older man, who reached out and shook Oikawa’s hand. The brunette took the older man’s hand and bowed slightly. “I’m honored to be here. Oh-- um--”, Oikawa paused, reaching out for Kageyama’s hand and pulling him forward slightly, “Yoshida-sensei, Mizuki-sensei, this is my partner Kageyama Tobio. Tobio, this is the principal of our school, Yoshida-sensei, and this is our lovely vice principal, Mizuki-sensei.” Kageyama bowed politely and smiled as authentically as he could, despite the fact that he couldn’t hear a word that either of Oikawa’s bosses were saying. His ears were ringing and burnt hot, and all he could think was the word ‘partner’. Partner. _Partner. ‘So that’s what I am? His partner?’_ , the blue-eyed man thought to himself as his head began to suddenly bob up and down, _‘Nodding. Why am I nodding? Oh god I hope I’m not blowing this’._

Oikawa excused them from the older couple, politely noting that there were many other people that they needed to greet, but the moment they were away from the table the brunette shoved his glass in Kageyama’s hand. “Here”, he said quietly, “Down this. It’ll help with your nerves.” Kageyama did as he was told without asking any questions; he’d take anything over having to feel as out of place as he did then. Kageyama had begun drinking a lot more alcohol since his courtship with Oikawa began, but he was still pretty easy to get drunk-- a fact Oikawa both enjoyed and abused. The brunette was pretty sure that Kageyama would be able to relax a little bit after just a few sips.

The brunette took his empty glass back from Kageyama before nodding to Kageyama’s own. “Now that”, he said, scanning the room furtively in the hopes that his presence had as of yet gone unnoticed. Kageyama frowned at his drink. “Oikawa-san…” “Just-- just _do it, please._ I _promise_ I will take care of you when you’re sick tomorrow. But right now, you look as uncomfortable as you are.” Kageyama belted back his drink, frowning at the older man as he swallowed the bitter liquid. “I wouldn’t be _as_ uncomfortable if you hadn’t dropped that little nugget of info on me before we came in!” Oikawa shook his head. “You’re right… it would be worse. Teachers are some of the most vicious, gossipy people out there. I can think of a few women who might have some choice words for you. If these people started telling you-- um-- just how they felt, and I _didn’t_ preface the evening with that, you’d take it personally and feel completely worthless by the end of the night.” It took Kageyama a moment to fully digest what Oikawa was saying, but ultimately he nodded. “...you’re right. I’m sorry. ...thank you for giving me the heads up.” Oikawa took Kageyama’s hand in his. _“Hey”,_ he said calmly, _“Relax._ This isn’t a big deal. Even if every single person you meet tonight hates you, it wouldn’t matter, because these people are nothing to me.” “I wouldn’t say that too loudly”, mumbled Kageyama, glancing around at the sea of people they were in the middle of. “No, I’m serious. No matter what happens, at the end of the night, you’ve got one thing these people here don’t have.” Kageyama looked up at Oikawa with hope in his eyes. The brunette leaned in and quickly kissed him before grinning, “...Me.”

The two got another drink before Oikawa began introducing Kageyama to several of his coworkers. “This is Yamashita-sensei, the first year science teacher.” “This is Hara-sensei, she’s the music teacher for our whole school.” “Imai-sensei here is the third year english teacher. Maybe she can give you some pointers-- I’m _kidding,_ Tobio, relax.”

On their third trip to the bar, Oikawa rubbed Kageyama’s arm. “You’re doing really well”, he smiled, “...and you look hot as hell doing it, too!”. Kageyama blushed slightly, thanking the bartender for his drink before turning back to Oikawa. “So far it hasn’t been so bad. Everyone's been really nice so far. You know, most of the people you've introduced me to actually _look_ like teachers.” “That’s because they are!”, laughed Oikawa. Kageyama took a sip of his drink before shaking his head. “No, you see, _you_ don’t look like a teacher. I wouldn’t be surprised if half of your students failed your class because they couldn’t stop drawing little hearts with their initials plus ‘O.T’ equals true love, or some shit like that.” Oikawa smirked at his lover. “Oh? Is that how you’d be if you were in my class?”. Feeling a little bit emboldened by the three strong drinks he’d already had at that point, Kageyama gripped Oikawa’s arm and said, “Are you kidding? It’s how I am as it is now, and you’re not even my teacher _.”_ The gorgeous brunette couldn’t help but blush. “Oh, please”, he said, taking Kageyama’s hand and kissing it, “you _flatterer.”_

The two worked the room for a few more minutes before a blanched Oikawa turned to Kageyama. “So… you remember how you just said it hasn’t been bad so far? ...it’s about to be bad.” Without further warning, Oikawa turned around and plastered the fakest smile on his face Kageyama had ever seen-- which was saying something, since he’d known Oikawa in their high school years, when practically everything he _did_ was fake. “Momo-chan! Ume-chan! Hitoshi-kun! So glad you could all come!”, he said loudly to a group of attractive twenty-somethings who all stood around holding glasses of wine. They looked Oikawa up and down for a moment before breaking out in excited comments between them. “Oh, Tōru! You’re here!” “Wow, you’re looking _good!”_ “Tōru, I’m _soooo_ happy that you won this! You deserve it, you really do!” “...who’s your friend?”. Oikawa smiled at Kageyama with slightly pursed lips. “This, my dear friends, is my boyfriend, Kageyama Tobio.” Instantly the mood died. “...boyfriend?”, repeated one of the women, as the other tossed back her wine. The man wouldn’t even _look_ at Kageyama, though the younger man persisted, bowing politely to his new acquaintances. “Tobio, this is Momo-chan, one of the fabulous guidance counselors at our school”, Oikawa said, motioning to a tall, thin, blonde woman. She briefly plastered a pleasant smile on her face, allowing it to fall once Oikawa moved on to the next woman, a shorter woman with long, jet black hair and entirely too much make up. “This is Ume-chan. She’s the Japanese lit teacher for all three grades.” “How do you do?”, smiled Kageyama pleasantly. Oikawa gently squeezed the younger man’s hand reassuringly as he turned to the last among them. “And this is my dear Hitoshi-kun, the 2nd year math teacher. He’s a genius.” The man that was dubbed ‘Hitoshi-kun’ by Oikawa was only just shorter than Kageyama, with hair spiked in a way that, for some reason, reminded him of the captain of Nekoma all those years ago. He was very handsome, excepting the death glare he was sending Kageyama. The younger man bowed again, and said, “It’s a pleasure to meet you.” The math teacher didn’t respond.

“Wow”, laughed Momo, “a _boyfriend,_ huh? I guess it’s not too serious, since you haven’t mentioned him before now…”. Oikawa smiled politely, looking to Kageyama before turning back to his peers. “Oh, no, it’s plenty serious. We’ve been together for-- what-- two months now? Isn’t that right, hun?”. Kageyama’s face burnt red. He felt as if he was in the middle of something sinister, despite how pleasant everyone’s tone was. “Oh… um… yes. Just a little bit more than two months, I think”, the younger man responded, voice steady despite his internal turmoil. Kageyama felt three pairs of eyes searing into him as Oikawa continued. “Honestly, if it _wasn’t_ serious, I would never have brought him here! You know how these things always go. _I_ certainly wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t forced to be, so I just think it’s super sweet that he came. Honestly, he’s too good to me.” Oikawa wrapped his arm around Kageyama’s, pulling the younger man into him. “Mm, so what is it that you _do,_ Mr… um-- I’m so sorry, I seem to have forgotten your name already”, asked Ume-chan, who was clearly a little bit drunker than her coworkers. Momo laughed and turned to Kageyama. “Oh, yeah, that’s a great question, Ume. Obviously he has to be doing _something_ pretty impressive to convince Tōru to go steady with him.” “Ah, um, actually”, started Kageyama, face flushing once more, “I’m a college student. I work at the university library after classes, but that’s… that’s about it.” “And what are you going to school for? Your masters? Doctorate?”, asked Hitoshi, who had finally turned his attention to the younger man. “Um-- no-- I’m in my last year of undergrad. I’m studying sports writing.” “Sports writing?!”, came the horrified echo of both women. Oikawa rustled Kageyama’s hair a bit. “Yep! He’s set to graduate this fall, if everything goes well!”

The older man looked Kageyama up and down one more time before turning to Oikawa, blocking Kageyama out of the conversation with his body language alone. “Well. I see we’ll have plenty to discuss on Monday morning”, Hitoshi said sternly. Oikawa laughed. “Actually, I’m gonna be out for most of next week. We can chat on Thursday when I'm back in.” The math teacher was clearly displeased to hear this, but shrugged it off. “Well”, Oikawa smiled politely, “it was certainly nice to see you all, but I have a handful of people Tobio has yet to meet, and the reception is due to begin soon.”

With that, Oikawa put his arm around Kageyama’s shoulders and steered the two out of the conversation. “Sorry about that, Tobio-chan”, Oikawa said gently, still holding onto the younger man. Kageyama looked at him out of the corner of his eye and mumbled, “You slept with all of them, didn’t you?”, though it was far more an accusation than a question. Oikawa laughed and shrugged with his free arm. “Yeah, I guess I did.” Kageyama shook his head in annoyance. “What’s that Hitoshi guy’s problem?”, the younger man asked, bringing his glass to his mouth in an effort to further remove himself from the awkward environment he’d somehow been forced into. “Same thing that’ll be the problem with everyone who gives you an attitude tonight… he wanted more from me than I was willing to give. In his specific case, he felt like the two times I hooked up with him earned him a lifetime commitment. He thought we were _so compatible,_ even though he didn’t know the first thing about me. It’s the same old, same old really.” A worried look crossed Kageyama’s face, and Oikawa couldn’t help but laugh. “Not with you, stupid. You’re… different. I wouldn’t be spending all this time with you if you weren’t.” Oikawa leaned in and kissed Kageyama on the cheek. The dark-haired man felt his face burn red. He tried to chase the embarrassment away with a drink, only to remember that his glass was sadly empty.

“God, I wish there was some utility closet we could sneak away to for like, ten minutes”, the brunette lamented, taking a swig of his own drink before offering up the glass to his date. Kageyama happily accepted. “You almost look as good as I do tonight”, Oikawa grinned, his hand slipping down from Kageyama's waist to his bottom and giving a quick squeeze before returning once more to where it originally sat. Kageyama rolled his eyes. “And that’s supposed to be a compliment…?”

“Oikawa-san…”, Kageyama started as the two milled about the room, “...do you mean what you said back there?” “Oh, about this place’s shellfish? Most _definitely._ I’m serious, Tobio-chan, eat at your own risk. If you do decide to have some, though, my offer to take care of you tomorrow is officially off the table.” Kageyama burst out laughing, drawing a little more attention to himself than he would’ve preferred. “Oh- no- sorry-- that’s not what I meant. You’ve just been reading my mind so much tonight that I forgot I actually have to use _words_ when I speak. No… what I meant was… what you said to those people… about _us.”_ A look of discomfort flashed across Oikawa’s face, but it was gone as quickly as it appeared. “Let’s talk about us when we go home tonight, okay?”, Oikawa asked smoothly. Kageyama nodded, though quickly turned back to the brunette. “You’re not dumping me, are you?”, he asked, frowning deeply. Oikawa had to laugh. “Oh my god, Tobio-chan, no, I’m not dumping you. However… I can’t say I’d blame you if you dump me after tonight.”

A few minutes later Oikawa was flagged down by another group of attractive teachers. _‘Jesus’,_ Kageyama thought to himself, _‘is this model school? I’ve never seen so many hot teachers in my_ **_life_** _!’_ He frowned when it dawned on him that Oikawa must've carefully chosen who to introduce Kageyama to first. It seemed a little too coincidental that Kageyama was introduced to the older, friendlier teachers before he was even aware that the younger and more attractive of Oikawa's colleagues existed. “Tōru! Tōruuuu!”, waved one extremely attractive woman who broke away from the group as the two men neared and threw her arms around Oikawa’s neck. “It’s _so good_ to see you! I missed my third period buddy today!” Oikawa smiled graciously. “Ah, one of the perks of being the teacher of the year award recipient, I’m afraid. The superintendent gave me a five day weekend-- absolutely _insisted_ on it.” The woman stuck out her big, beautiful, bright pink lips. “Aw, that means I’m not gonna see you until Wednesday?” “Thursday”, Oikawa quickly corrected, “but yes. I’ll be out on Monday through Wednesday.” “Well”, started the woman, her voice dropping to a more sultry tone as she placed a finger on Oikawa’s chest, “Maybe we can spend some… _quality time_ together between now and then, hm?”. Oikawa laughed and reached out for Kageyama’s hand. “I’m afraid I’ve already got plans with my boyfriend, but I’ll let you know the next time I’m free”, the handsome man laughed congenially. The woman dropped her act instantly as Oikawa began introductions. “Yumi, this is my boyfriend, Kageyama Tobio. Tobio-chan, this is Yumi. She’s the girl’s gym teacher and volleyball coach.” The woman made no effort to obscure the daggers she was shooting out of her eyes at the stranger before her. “Yeah”, she said dismissively, “I’m pretty much Tōru’s _counterpart._ We do _everything_ together.” “Now, now”, laughed Oikawa, “‘Counterpart’ is a little strong, huh? We’re not even in the same _department.”_ Despite her very obvious digs at him, Kageyama did his best to be polite, bowing his head and saying, “Pleased to meet you”.

The woman spun on her heel, leading Oikawa and Kageyama back towards the group she’d broken away from. “Hey, look, everyone, it’s Tōru! _And_ he brought his _new boyfriend!”_ A number of murmurs could be heard even over the music playing in the background as nearly everyone glared at Kageyama. Oikawa, however, laughed and put his arm around Kageyama’s waist. “Oh, Yumi, _darling._ You needn’t exaggerate. Tobio and I have been together for a couple months at this point. I’d _hardly_ consider him ‘new’.” Glancing to Kageyama, Oikawa winked and said, “Sorry, sweetie.” _Sweetie. Baby. Hun. It was all too much for Kageyama._ The group fell silent.

Oikawa pulled Kageyama as close to him as possible and laughed, “Now, my love, I’m sure you’re not gonna remember _half_ the names you learn tonight, but in the name of good manners, I’m still going to introduce you, so bear with me, okay?”. Oikawa turned back to the others. “Teachers, this is my boyfriend, Kageyama Tobio. Tobio, going clockwise, I’d like you to meet…”. Oikawa was right. Kageyama _wasn’t_ going to remember anybody’s names. In fact, he was zoning out as Oikawa introduced everyone, only nodding and bowing when he heard his lover’s voice pause. He remembered Momo and Ume, but that was because his fourth grade had a class hamster named Momo, and Ume was one of his favorite tea flavors. Oh, and he remembered Yumi. Because she was a total bitch. But the rest of the people he had met? Not a chance.

This group seemed a little more polite than the trio they’d spoken to earlier. While no one was being _nice,_ no one (besides Yumi) was being openly dismissive about Oikawa’s relationship status. All six of the people they were speaking to-- four women and two men-- were exceptionally attractive. If Kageyama’s assumption that Oikawa had slept with all of these people was correct, it seemed that Oikawa didn’t really have a ‘type’. There were people of all shapes, sizes, and colors. The sole unifying theme to all these people, so far as Kageyama could tell, was that they were all attractive.

He had to wonder, as he stood beside Oikawa with the brunette’s arms around him… was he considered ‘attractive’? _‘No’,_ he thought to himself, _‘I’m easily average. I’m tall and my hair’s okay, but I don’t stand out at all. You couldn’t pick me out of a crowd of one.’_ Kageyama sighed. _‘Is that what Oikawa meant when he said I was ‘different’? That I’m not super model quality? …is he with me out of pity?’_ Kageyama’s unpleasant thoughts were interrupted suddenly when someone got onto the small stage with a microphone. “Alright, good evening ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the Teacher of the Year award celebration! We’re about to start our sit-down portion of the dinner, so please, make your way to your seats and we’ll get started!”. Sporadic claps erupted from the crowd, along with one single cheer.

Everyone began making their way back to the table, with Kageyama and Oikawa returning to the seats with their place markers on them. As Kageyama moved to sit, a pained look crossed Oikawa’s face. “Oh, darling, let me get your chair for you”, he said as he walked over and stood behind the younger man. _“Unbutton your jacket, dumbass”,_ he hissed into Kageyama’s ear, though to anyone outside of the two, it simply looked as if he was whispering sweet nothings into his lover’s ear, especially once a deep blush spread across Kageyama's cheeks. He quickly undid his buttons, sitting down as Oikawa tucked the chair in under him.

The dinner was pleasant, with nearly every couple keeping to themselves. Oikawa found their brief reprieve from forced socialization to be a godsend, though every now and then someone would stop by the table and chat with the teacher of the year. In the middle of the meal, the vice principal turned to Kageyama, who was seated between her and Oikawa. “So tell me, Kageyama-kun, what do you do?”. Kageyama blushed again-- this question was starting to get to him. He’d never before felt like he wasn’t doing enough with his life, but somehow being amongst all these professionals while still being in college himself was grating. “Oh, um”, he started as he picked at his food, “I’m actually an undergrad student at the university.” “Oh?”, Mizuki-sensei asked, “I thought you looked young! But then again, Tōru looks young as well… When you get to be my age, anyone under 40 looks young. May I ask, what are you studying?”. Kageyama swallowed his mouthful of food and said, “Um… sports writing.” “Oh!”, remarked the older woman, smiling sweetly at the poor nervous boy before her, “So you’re into sports then?”. Kageyama nodded, glancing over to Oikawa in the hopes of being rescued from his awkward conversation. Unfortunately, another one of the brunette’s fans had come over to gush about his esteemed award.

“So tell me”, smiled the older woman as she set her fork down, “How did you and Tōru-kun meet? Were you college classmates?” Kageyama was surprised by this question. It seemed as if the vice principal was actually interested in learning about him, as opposed to the prying questions asked by everyone else that had acknowledged his existence that evening. “Um, actually, no”, Kagayama said, smiling slightly as he spoke, “we met in middle school.” The older woman smiled and nodded, “No kidding! Tell me all about it!”, earning a bit broader a grin from the young man. “Um, well, it’s kind of funny... We were on the same volleyball team in middle school and everything. Oikawa-san is two years older than me, and we wound up going to different High Schools and fell out of touch until a few months ago.” Another voice broke into the conversation and Kageyama felt a warm touch on his shoulder. “And we’ve been inseparable ever since!”, grinned Oikawa.

“Mizuki-sensei, do you mind if I steal Tobio-chan away for a moment?”, the brunette grinned. The older woman laughed and said, “No, no, not at all, Tōru-kun! He was just keeping this old lady company while Yoshida-sensei used the facilities, and I do believe that that’s him coming back in now!” Oikawa laughed, then turned to his lover. “Tobio-chan, this”, he started, gesturing to the space immediately behind their two seats, “this is Hisoka-chan!” Kageyama turned in his seat and smiled politely, though his heart sank when he saw the man his date wanted him to meet. Aside from Oikawa, this man was easily the most attractive person at the party. He was tall and fit with tan skin and jet black hair. Thick eyelashes surrounded stunning golden eyes, which only stood out more between his pronounced cheekbones and chiseled jaw. If the other people Kageyama had met that night could be models, this man most certainly fell into supermodel category. As the younger man choked out a “How do you do?”, he realized that this ‘Hisoka-chan’ looked exactly like him, if you took every single feature of his and upgraded it. His heart sank even further upon realizing that Oikawa had most likely been with this guy, too… how was Kageyama supposed to compare to _that?_

“Hi-chan is the coach for my team”, Oikawa said, grinning up at Adonis. _‘Great. He plays volleyball, too. Another thing he has that I don’t’,_ Kageyama thought to himself. “And he’s probably the person I spend the most time with at work.” _‘Great. Fabulous. Why_ **_wouldn’t_ ** _he be the person Oikawa spends all his time with.’_ “And, Tobio-chan, he’s straight, so I haven’t slept with him”, laughed the brunette. Kageyama felt his cheeks burn red; Oikawa had been reading his mind a lot that evening, though he supposed it probably wasn’t too difficult to follow his train of thought in situations like this. Hisoka grinned and extended his hand. “Oh? So this is the guy who’s been stealing Tōru away from me, huh? I’ve heard a lot about you, Kageyama-kun.” Kageyama felt his heart skip a beat. _‘This guy has heard of me’_ , he thought to himself as he struggled to maintain a straight face, _‘...which means Oikawa has talked about me…’_ . “Honestly, Hisoka”, Oikawa laughed, “He hasn’t been _stealing_ me…” “No”, grinned the other man, “You’re just always eager to go home. We used to go out after practices, but now as soon as the gym’s cleaned up, you’re out.” Oikawa turned to Kageyama and squeezed his cheeks together, making his lips purse like a fish, and laughed, “But I mean… can you _blame_ me for wanting to go home to _this?”_ Hisoka laughed heartily. “You’re too much, Tōru.” As the two colleagues continued talking, the lights began to dim. “Oh! I guess we’re starting”, remarked Oikawa, “I’ll catch up with you later, okay?”. Hisoka nodded, extending his hand to Oikawa. The brunette fist bumped the coach, who then turned and repeated the gesture to Kageyama. The blue-eyed man glanced to his date before returning the sentiment himself.

“Ladies and gentlemen, thank you all so much for coming tonight, where we will be honoring several of our city’s best educators.” The principal and vice principal were at the podium, smiling grandly as they began the main event of the evening. _“Hey”_ , whispered Oikawa, _“Let’s run to the bar before they call me up there”._ Kageyama turned and nodded, and together the two men made their way past tables upon tables of Oikawa’s colleagues. The bartender nodded at the two, asking, “Same thing?”, before preparing two glasses of whiskey on ice. “Oh”, added Oikawa, “Can I also get a glass of champagne, or anything sparkling?”. The bartender nodded. “We’re usually only allowed to give everyone one drink at a time, but you’ve been so _generous,_ and you seem like a responsible person so… just, if one of my coworkers sees you, tell them you’re holding someone else’s drink, okay?” Oikawa winked and nodded. “Gotcha.”

“...thank you so much for all you’ve done for our school, Ogawa-san, we really couldn’t run without you. Up next, please join me in welcoming the man who won the award for top educator in the entire prefecture! He hasn’t been with us for long, but in the three short years that he’s been teaching middle schoolers, he’s been not only a teacher, but a coach, a friend, and a confidant as well. The work he’s done for our community is nothing shy of amazing, and” _“Oh crap”,_ whispered Oikawa, _“can you hang onto my drink? Stay here, okay? I’ll be back as soon as I can.”_ Kageyama shot a confused look at his date, who took the glass of champagne, shoved a few bills in the tip jar, and then quickly kissed Kageyama’s cheek before striding off back towards his seat. “...Mr. Oikawa Tōru!”

Kageyama was dumbfounded. Oikawa had simply said he was being honored… he never said anything about winning ‘top educator in the prefecture’. And here Kageyama thought that Oikawa was boasting when he talked about the gala, when in fact he was being modest. _‘Is this the new Oikawa--’,_ he thought to himself, _‘A man who can win an award and be humble about it?’_ He watched the brunette walk across the stage, glass in hand, waving with his free hand to the enthusiastic crowd. He shook the principal’s hand, grinning to the camera in front of them, before stepping up to the podium. The crowd still had not calmed down.

“Thank you, thank you”, Oikawa grinned as he scanned the sea of faces, “Wow, I guess I’m not the only one excited about this award!” Oikawa had clearly meant to calm the audience down, though with his last sentence, a series of cheers rippled through the room. It took almost a minute, but finally Oikawa was able to begin speaking. “I was really surprised when I heard I’d been nominated for this award. In my mind, our school district has so many amazing teachers that to even be counted amongst them is an honor.” _‘Who_ **_is_ ** _this?!’,_ Kageyama thought to himself. “I was completely blown away when Yoshida-sensei called me one evening after practice to let me know that I’d actually _won.”_ Again the crowd erupted in applause. “Teaching has always been my passion, and throughout my life, I’ve done what I can to assist anyone in need of help” _‘Yeah’_ , thought Kageyama, taking a big gulp of his drink, _‘except me when I wanted to learn your serve.’_ “and each year, I’m completely overwhelmed by the shocking intellect, resilience, and maturity of my students. In a way, they teach me more than I could ever teach them.” Kageyama rolled his eyes. Oikawa was really laying it on thick.

“He’s pretty impressive, isn’t he?”, came a voice from right beside Kageyama. The blue-eyed man glanced to his right to find that the volleyball coach had joined him at the bar. “Yeah”, Kageyama nodded politely, withholding his comments on what obvious lies Oikawa was speaking. There were plenty of nights where the brunette came home and said that he was _this close_ to strangling a student. Kageyama was pretty sure that no one else needed his insider’s opinion on Oikawa’s award.

Hisoka remained beside Kageyama as Oikawa finished his speech, which lasted nearly five more minutes. “...thank you to the school board for nominating me for such a prestigious award, and of course, thank you to all my colleagues who make this job even better just by being there-- especially the coach of our volleyball team, Ueno Hisoka, without whom I would have a _much_ harder time advising our team! Go Polar Bears!” Kageyama cast a quick look to the man beside him and saw that his cheeks were flushed above his massive smile.

Oikawa’s speech got a standing ovation, and has he waved his way off the stage, he was pulled to the side where he stood alongside the other winners. “Thank you, Oikawa-san, for such a touching tribute to our schools. Up next, we have our award for Excellence in Special Education, please join me in welcoming…”.

“So, tell me”, started the coach, “What exactly does Tōru see in you?”. ‘ _Wow. Talk about a loaded question.’_ Kageyama looked back to the older man, smiling pleasantly, only to find that his face was completely serious. “Oh… um, well--”, Kageyama started, as he wracked his brain for anything that could be a passable answer. “Those aren’t words”, Hisoka said, folding his arms in front of him. Kageyama stopped in his tracks; what the hell was he supposed to say to _that?_ He quickly steeled himself before plastering the fakest smile he could on his face. “You’re right, my apologies”, he said, drawing from every ounce of self-confidence he had, “I just never know what to say to people who are as important to Tōru as you are.” _‘Good cover’,_ he thought, _‘But how are we going to answer his question?’_ “In all honesty, I’m not entirely sure what Tōru sees in me.” _‘Holy crap it feels so weird to call him Tōru. But with his attitude, there’s no way I’d ever let him think he’s closer to Oikawa than I am.’_ “I’ll admit that we have some amazing chemistry, and really, we always have, ever since we were in middle school. Aside from that--” The older man tossed back his drink before stepping closer to Kageyama. “You don’t deserve Tōru”, he said plainly. The look on his face hurt more than his words, because his expression was not one of malice or hatred or anything; he looked as if he could’ve been talking about the weather or the history of Japan. Kageyama had no choice but to grin and bear it. “Oh, I completely agree”, Kageyama laughed, “He’s so far out of my league it isn’t funn--” “Then why are you with him?”, argued Hisoka. Kageyama couldn’t help but take a step back. This guy was being _awfully_ aggressive for someone who wasn’t interested in Oikawa himself…

“I am with him because he wants to be with me.”, Kageyama said resolutely. The other man scoffed. “There’s no way that Tōru would _want_ to be with someone like yo--” It was Kageyama’s turn to cut him off. The younger man took a step back towards Hisoka and said, “But he does. He’s been the one to pursue me-- not the other way around. He’s the one who made the first move, and the second, and the third. I _know_ that he’s out of my league, and I would never set myself up for failure like that. But he’s into me for some reason, so I’ll be with him as long as he’ll have me.” _Woah._ Kageyama had never spoken his feelings about Oikawa aloud. Oikawa was his only real friend besides Hinata, and he certainly wasn’t going to talk to either of _them_ about how he felt. The words were strange and impassioned, and Kageyama was really struggling to digest the words that he himself had just said.

The other man stepped even closer, so the two were only inches apart. “Why do you think _anyone_ would ever believe a fairytale like _that?”,_ scoffed the older man, “Why would Oikawa _choose_ someone like you when he could have someone like _me?” ‘Oh. Yep. There it is.’,_ Kageyama thought to himself. _‘But wait… didn’t Oikawa say this guy was straight?’_ “Like… you?”, the blue-eyed man repeated, dumbfounded. Hisoka’s face flushed slightly and a faint look of panic flashed through his eyes. “...Yes.”, the other man said, “Tōru could do much better than you. _I’m_ the one who’s been by his side for three years now. We’ve gone out together and he’s stayed at my home countless times.” “...but he said…” “I _know_ what he said, you imbecile.” _‘Well that’s an insult I haven’t gotten before.'_ “ _He’s_ my only exception. I refuse to believe your claim that _you_ have amazing chemistry with Tōru, because _I_ have experienced the amazing chemistry Tōru and I have firsthand. Nothing could possibly trump that.” Kageyama glanced back to where Oikawa was standing. The speeches had finished, but they were taking tons of pictures of the winners.

“I’m only telling you this once”, started Hisoka, calling Kageyama’s attention back to him, “You should end things with Tōru, for your own sake. Because whether you end things with him or not, I am going to take him for myself. You’ll hurt less if you just give him up.” Kageyama was stunned. What could he say to a declaration like that? Before anything came to him, Hisoka leaned in. “Oh, and if I even _think_ that Tōru found out about this little conversation of ours, I will do everything in my power to _destroy_ you.”

Kageyama snorted. To be fair, it was completely involuntary and likely had to do with the copious amounts of alcohol he’d consumed that evening, but he regretted it the moment it came out. It was just-- he hasn't heard such a vague threat since high school. He was supposedly the youngest and least professionally developed person present, but somehow he was getting comments like _that_ flung at him. It was just too much to take. Unfortunately, his involuntary noise had drawn the coach's attention to him once more.

“You got something to say, tough guy?”, threatened the coach. Kageyama shook his head but couldn’t hide the smile that wouldn’t leave his face in spite of the imminent danger he was facing. This seemingly only incensed Hisoka, who grabbed Kageyama by his lapels.

“Woah, woah, woah, hands off the suit, buddy! That’s a custom-made piece of art right there!” Kageyama had never been so relieved to hear Oikawa’s voice. Hisoka looked absolutely petrified as he released the younger man. His expression was somewhere beyond simply upset or embarrassed, bordering more on sincerely mortified. “A- ah, Tōru-chan”, he smiled nervously, turning around to see Oikawa walking up behind him, “Congratulations on your award! Oh-- and-- uh-- thank you for mentioning me. It meant a lot.” Oikawa waved dismissively. “Any time! I’m just grateful to have an actual, competent coach for our boys. But anyway”, the brunette said, turning to Kageyama and raising an eyebrow, “What kind of trouble are you getting into?”. Kageyama was feeling a little bit petty. He couldn’t help himself. He’d had a lot to drink and was being treated like shit all night; anyone would feel petty in his shoes. The dark haired man looped his arm in Oikawa’s and grinned at the older man. “Oh, nothing, _honey._ I just missed you _so much.”_ He glanced over to Hisoka and could see the loathing in his eyes. “Oh yeah?”, asked Oikawa as he leaned in and kissed the side of Kageyama’s head, “So why did it look like my dear friend here was about to harm you?”. Hisoka immediately began waving his hands. “Oh, no-- that was-- it wasn’t-- I--” “He likes you”, Kageyama shrugged, downing the rest of his whiskey. _‘Might as well if I’m about to get the shit beaten out of me’,_ he reasoned, _‘at least then it won’t hurt as much.’_

Instead of growing angry, though, the other man’s eyes widened and his eyes began to tear up. “I-- Tōru-chan, it isn’t--” “Oh really?”, grinned Oikawa, “Huh. ...and I suppose he was trying to break us up, then?”. Kageyama nodded as he swapped glasses with Oikawa, downing his champagne as well before putting both empty glasses on the bar. He took the whiskey he’d been holding for his lover and began drinking that, too, before the brunette intervened, taking the glass with a frown. “Well”, Oikawa said, turning the attention back to his coach, “I see we have some things to talk about on Thursday. But, for now, if you’ll excuse us, they’re about to serve dessert.”

Oikawa waved pleasantly to Hisoka before escorting Kageyama away. “You’re drinking too much”, Oikawa said softly, patting Kageyama’s arm that was looped through his. “Yeah, well, you would too if you were in my situation”, replied the younger man, speech slurring only slightly. Oikawa laughed and nodded. “That is completely correct. You know, I was worried that something like that would happen while I was gone. I never would’ve guessed that it’d be Hi-chan, though.” Kageyama looked incredulously at Oikawa. “You didn’t think that _anyone_ who got to be near you would fall for you?”, he asked blankly. Oikawa felt his face grow hot. He quickly downed what remained of his whiskey, handing the glass to a passing waiter before steering Kageyama in the opposite direction. “Eh?”, asked the younger man, “Where are we going? Didn’t you just say they were serving dessert?” Oikawa didn’t reply, instead picking up his pace.

The brunette steered the two into the men’s room, quickly locking the door behind them before frantically pressing his lips to Kageyama’s as he pushed the younger man up against the wall. “I can’t wait anymore”, he whispered, his hands roaming all over the younger man, “I need you.” Kageyama grinned at Oikawa. “Just like old times”, he laughed before leaning in and nibbling the older man’s neck. It was always Oikawa who added in the sensual ‘extras’ to their love life-- things like biting and sucking Kageyama’s neck or earlobe-- while Kageyama generally kept to the more direct forms of stimulation. But having Kageyama, who he’d already wanted so badly, sucking on his skin was driving the brunette absolutely crazy. “A- ah-- T- Tobio--”, he gasped, pulling the younger man into him, “I-- I need you--”. Without warning, Kageyama spun the two around, pinning Oikawa against the wall before sinking to his knees. Oikawa helped him undo his pants, and soon Kageyama had taken all of Oikawa in his mouth.

As he worked the older man’s shaft, shivers ran up Oikawa’s spine. Oikawa ran his hands through Kageyama’s hair appreciatively, rolling his hips as the younger man took him in. This was easily among the sloppiest blowjobs he’d ever received, but Kageyama’s enthusiasm and overall flirtatiousness of the evening easily made up for the occasional nick he received from one of the younger man’s teeth. As he felt himself getting closer and closer to the edge, Kageyama suddenly pulled away. _“Just think”,_ he whispered, his voice thick with desire, _“about how many people would be going crazy with jealousy if they saw this”._

Oikawa came very quickly after that, with Kageyama’s words repeating over and over in his head as he unloaded in the back of his throat. He allowed himself to slide down the wall, sitting before his lover while he recovered.

“I love you, Tōru”, Kageyama said, leaning forward and pressing his lips to those of the brunette. Oikawa’s heart was beating out of his chest. With one swift action, Kageyama sent the older man’s foggy mind into a frenzy. So many things had happened in the last few seconds alone that Oikawa thought he might explode. Firstly, tasting himself on Kageyama’s tongue was overwhelmingly sensual. The younger man seemed to have a hang up with blowjobs and kissing; he usually ran to the bathroom immediately afterwards to brush his teeth before kissing Oikawa once more. But this time, he allowed Oikawa the experience of tasting himself mingled with the taste of Kageyama’s mouth, and Oikawa was having a hard time coping. He’d _just_ gotten off. How was he ready to go again? Then there was the words the younger man spoke. Kageyama said he loves him. Was he supposed to respond? ...was it possible that he actually loved Kageyama, too? These were not thoughts that partly-drunk Oikawa was prepared to deal with. And then, lastly, Kageyama called him Tōru, for the first time in their _lives_. It was likely because he was drunk, but Oikawa couldn’t help but blush.

“Tobio-chan”, Oikawa whispered, pulling away from the kiss, “...does _everything_ you do have to be _so sexy?”_


	9. Drunken Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa's Teacher of the Year Award gala ends, and the two men head home.

The two returned to their table shortly after their affair, stopping by the bar on their way to pick up _one last_ drink. They hadn’t missed too much-- the cake was still being distributed table by table, and their own scoops of ice cream had barely begun to melt. Oikawa was chatting with the principal again when Kageyama felt his phone vibrate in the inside pocket of his jacket. He couldn’t fathom who would be texting him, since Hinata should’ve been at practice or asleep by that point. He pulled out his phone and was surprised to find that it was his lab partner.

 **Kawanishi (9:55pm):** hey, are you busy rn?  
**Kageyama (9:56pm):** yeah, sorry  
**Kawanishi (9:57pm):** oh, sorry for bothering you. I shouldve guessed youd be busy on a friday night lol  
**Kawanishi (9:58pm):** i was just having trouble figuring out one of the questions from our hw. Its nbd, ill just ask sum1 else.

“Who’s texting you?”, asked Oikawa, peering over Kageyama’s shoulder. He was relieved to find that it wasn’t Hinata confirming his plans; that really would’ve messed with Oikawa’s own plot. “My lab partner”, Kageyama frowned as he typed up a response, “sorry, I’ll be done in a sec.” “No problem”, shrugged Oikawa as he draped his arm around Kageyama’s shoulders. “You did me a favor by coming here tonight. I can _hardly_ complain that you have other things to attend to.” Kageyama looked up at the brunette and smiled before turning back to his phone.

 **Kageyama (10:00pm):** well if u need help we can meet before class  
**Kawanishi (10:01pm):** really? That’d be awesome  
**Kawanishi (10:01pm):** esp since i dont have anyone else’s # from our class lol  
**Kawanishi (10:01pm):** thank u so much  
**Kageyama (10:02pm):** np thats what lab partners are for ( *• ̀ω•́ )b

“Tobio-channn”, whined Oikawa, “Are you done talking to your boyfriend?”. Kageyama looked up at Oikawa as he tucked his phone back into its resting place. “I wasn’t aware I _had_ a boyfriend”, he remarked coolly. The brunette grinned and took Kageyama’s hand in his. “If you want one, I know a guy”, Oikawa laughed. Kageyama rolled his eyes. “I only want you”, the blue-eyed man said, speaking slowly and clearly so as to not detract from his intention despite how drunk he was. “What a coincidence”, grinned Oikawa, leaning in closer to the younger man, “...that’s who I was going to suggest.”

Kageyama felt his face flush. His thoughts were beyond fuzzy, but he was pretty sure that he’d just officially entered a relationship with Oikawa. Once the brunette got dragged into another conversation, he pulled out his phone again.

 **Tobio (10:12pm):** hey Shō, we have to talk when you get a chance

This was it. Between his conversation with Oikawa, Kageyama was feeling brave enough to finally, officially end things with Hinata. Only… Hinata didn’t respond. Kageyama just hoped that he wasn’t going to regret sending that text in the morning.

After Oikawa had said goodbye to what seemed like _literally everybody_ at the gala, the two men climbed into the back of the limo once more and headed back to Kageyama’s apartment. “Thank you so, so much for coming with me, Tobio-kun”, Oikawa said, pulling the younger man to him. “Anny time”, slurred Kageyama, falling into Oikawa’s chest, “Although, I’m pre-tty surprised by how many people you’ve slept with, Oik- _hic-_ kawa-san.” Oikawa rolled his eyes and shrugged. “Do you blame me? I mean… they’re all pretty faces, but you’ve seen the kind of people some of them are.” “whuddya mean?” “Well, _all these people_ just met you tonight. You-- the significant other of someone they supposedly care about. And not a single person was even remotely kind to you. The _best_ you got was indifference.” “Tha’s not true”, stammered Kageyama, “tha' old lady was nice to me”. Oikawa laughed. “Yeah, but I haven’t slept with _her._ In my opinion, if you can’t be bothered to be nice to someone who, one, you’re just meeting, and, two, is in a really awkward situation, you are not a good person, plain and simple.” “Yeah”, shrugged Kageyama, “but, I dunno. I guess I _understand_ where they’re comin’ from…” “No, you don’t”, Oikawa scowled, “You liked me for _years_ and you were always polite to Iwa-chan. Even-- even _that night_ \-- I heard you apologizing to him. You’re a nice person, Tobio-chan. I’m… I’m really sorry I put you through that.” Kageyama laughed as he nuzzled against Oikawa’s shoulder. “Apologize to me tomorrow, cuz I’m definitely not gonna remember what yer sayin’ now.” Oikawa placed his hand on top of Kageyama’s head, pulling the younger man into him. “Yeah, you’re right”, the brunette grinned, “I think this is the drunkest you’ve ever been with me.” “which means iss the drunkest I’ve ever been”, Kageyama slurred. Oikawa nodded and kissed Kageyama on the top of the head.

The car pulled up in front of Kageyama’s building and Oikawa tipped the driver once more before climbing out of his side and going over to Kageyama’s, opening the door and practically pulling the young man out of the car. It took a couple extra minutes for the couple to ascend the two flights of stairs to Kageyama’s apartment, especially since the younger man had to be coached up practically every step. When they got in, Oikawa made Kageyama stand as he removed everything but his shirt, tie, and boxers. “Okay, you can go to bed”, Oikawa said as he began removing his own suit. “Not without Oikawa-san”, cried Kageyama. “Ha?”, asked Oikawa, “What happened to ‘Tōru’?”. Kageyama grinned at the older man before him as he took off his vest. “I’m not going to bed without _Tōru_ ”, he said happily, teetering forward towards Oikawa. The older man laughed and shook his head. “Take the pills I left on the counter and then get your ass in the bedroom, I’ll be in in two minutes. I just have to hang our stuff up.” “Pfff”, replied Kageyama as he staggered off into the apartment, “Tōru loves his suit more than me”. _‘Loves’_ , repeated Oikawa in his head.

Kageyama disappeared in the general direction of the kitchen, and Oikawa began hanging their stuff up. As he did, he realized that Kageyama left everything in his jacket pocket-- his keys, his wallet, and his phone. The brunette dug through the multitude of pockets, drawing out each of the items he’d anticipated finding before hanging the jacket up as well. He tossed Kageyama’s wallet and keys on the kitchen counter, repeating the gesture with his possessions as well. He checked his phone-- no messages-- and then Kageyama’s, and was surprised by what he saw.

 **Shōyō (11:15pm):** np we can talk 2morro （´∀`）ｂ

Oikawa unlocked Kageyama’s phone; clearly, unless Chibi-chan had texted Kageyama by accident, he was responding to something that was said to him… but Oikawa didn’t remember Kageyama texting Hinata at all that evening. His heart skipped a beat when he read Kageyama’s text to Hinata, and it quickly dawned on him that he was likely going to be ending things with Hinata after the conversation Oikawa had had with him that evening.

Oikawa abandoned their phones on the counter as well and headed into the bedroom. He’d fully expected Kageyama to be passed out on the bed when he entered, and was surprised to see that, not only was Kageyama awake, he was also naked and appeared to be waiting on Oikawa.

The older man walked over to the side of the bed that Kageyama was closer to, and Kageyama moved to the edge, kneeling so he could be almost level with Oikawa. “Tobio-chan...”, whispered Oikawa as he wrapped his arms around the younger man. “Tōru-san”, Kageyama whispered back, his fingers making their way up to his tie. “Are you _sure_ you’re not going to remember anything tomorrow?”, Oikawa asked as he ran his hands over the younger man’s shoulders. Kageyama laughed and nodded, “I’m pr-etty drunk”. “In that case”, Oikawa whispered, stilling the younger man’s hands with his own, as he moved his lips against Kageyama's ear, “...I love you, Tobio-chan.” Oikawa stood back up only to find Kageyama looking up at him with huge eyes. “...r… really?”, he asked quietly. Oikawa nodded and kissed the younger man. “I think so.” Kageyama sat back on his heels, deep in thought for a moment before looking up at Oikawa once more; the older man could see tears welling up in Kageyama’s eyes and was briefly taken aback, as he’d never _actually_ seen the younger man cry. “O-- Oikawa-san”, Kageyama said quietly, “You’re _so mean!”._ The brunette wasn’t sure what he was expecting but… it most certainly wasn’t that. “...e- Eh?!”, he exclaimed, “What the hell kind of reaction is that?!”. “You’re only tellin’ me now cuz I’m not gonna remember in th’ mornin’!”, Kageyama scowled. Oikawa had to laugh; Kageyama had him there.

“Yeah, you’re right”, the older man shrugged, “but I’m not ready for you to know that yet.” “Whaddya mean?”, asked Kageyama, whose hands had wandered back up to Oikawa’s tie. The older man watched in amusement as Kageyama fumbled with it, eventually leaving it in a worse knot than the knot it was originally in. Oikawa undressed himself and then sat on the bed next to Kageyama.

“What’s your relationship with Chibi-chan?”, Oikawa asked bluntly, placing his hand on top of Kageyama’s. “My-- um-- my-- _what?”._ “Don’t worry”, laughed Oikawa, “I’m really drunk, too. I’m probably not gonna remember this either. And… besides… I already know more than you think I know.” Kageyama squinted at the other man. “‘re you _suuure_ you’re drunk? You seem pretty sober to me”, he slurred. Oikawa nodded. “Remember, I got a drink every time you did? You’re just a lightweight.” Kageyama seemed to think on this for a moment before saying, “Well, if you _have_ to know… Shōyō and I were… I guess… friends wiv benefits.” “Ah”, replied Oikawa, “How did something like _that_ come about, if you don’t mind my asking? I just can’t picture you of all people asking someone to just hook up with you.” Kageyama flopped backwards on the bed. “Yer really killin’ the mood, ‘kawa-san.” Oikawa laid down next to him. “Sorry. I’m just curious.”

“iss pretty simple”, started the dark-haired man, “He confessed to me right after I tol’ him I got ax-septed to my school. I liked him too, but we both thought it’d be pretty stupid to start dating when we were 'bout to be on opposite ends of th’ country. So we jus’ started hookin’ up. He’d visit me an’ I'd visit him, and we’d spend mos’ of the time in bed.” “Did you tell _him_ that you love him?” “Sometimes”, shrugged Kageyama, “but not regularly.” “Why did it end?”, asked Oikawa as he ran his fingers through Kageyama's hair. Kageyama seemed to think on this for a long moment before simply answering, “...you.”

“Me?”, asked the brunette, sitting up to look at the younger man. Kageyama nodded. “Me an’ Shōyō didn't see each other for a long time. An’ then you and I started hanging out, an even though I guess I did love him, I've always loved you. I… I was mean to you when we ran into each other cuz I knew if I spent any time with you, I'd be head over heels again.” Oikawa smiled softly. “That’s very sweet, Tobio-chan”, he said before leaning in and kissing the younger man’s lips. Kageyama pressed back into him, kissing the older man passionately for several minutes before finally pulling away.

“Oikawa-san”, he said, desperately searching the brown eyes before him, “Since yer not gonna say it after tonight… Can you tell me you love me again? Just once?”. Oikawa smiled softly. The younger man absolutely broke his heart; all Kageyama wanted was to be loved, and Oikawa couldn’t even give him that. He was confident that he did actually love the younger man, at least to some degree, but something inside him was far too broken to be able to express his feelings like a normal person. “Come on”, Oikawa whispered, “Let’s get under the covers, and I’ll tell you as many times as you want to hear it.”

The two men snuggled up under the blankets, with Kageyama laying his head on the arm that Oikawa was propping himself up on. “Tobio-chan”, Oikawa whispered, cupping Kageyama’s face gently with his free hand, “I love you.” Kageyama’s eyes fluttered open, and he gazed lovingly up at the brunette. “Do you really?”, he asked softly. Oikawa couldn’t help but smile as he nodded, “Yes. I do.” Oikawa swept a dark lock out of Kageyama’s face, leaning down and kissing his forehead gently before repeating, “I love you.” “...‘Kawa-san…” “I love you, Tobio-chan.” “...awa...an…” “I love you, Tobio-chan. ...Sleep well.”

The words tasted bitter to the brunette. He knew it was true-- he knew that at the very least a part of him loved Kageyama-- but was it really okay for him to be saying something like that? He swore a thousand times that he’d learned his lesson from Iwaizumi all those years ago. He _swore_ that he’d never allow himself to fall in love again, because he could not handle the risk of having to going through the pains of heartbreak another time.

But it was more than just a selfish desire to avoid heartache; Oikawa kept wondering to himself: was it really okay for him to be moving on from his feelings for Iwa-chan? He’d carried Iwaizumi with him in his heart since the night they last spoke. He did his best to respect the older man’s wishes, and that lasted nearly a week before he broke down and tried to call Iwaizumi. By then Iwa-chan had already changed his number. Oikawa messaged him often on facebook and twitter, but after being warned that he would be blocked if he continued, the brunette backed down and did his best to move forward. But no matter what, he found that he could do no such thing. Every person he dated, every person he kissed or touched, made him wish that he was with Iwa-chan. That was the full truth behind why he wasn’t able to date anyone long-term; he simply could not let go of his heart’s truest desire.

He wasn’t sure what was different when it came to Kageyama. Maybe it was because their original timelines intersected, or maybe it was just that he knew that Kageyama sincerely loved him, and always had. Regardless of why, something about Kageyama was truly _different_ and that difference only made Oikawa that much more desperate to keep the blue-eyed man all to himself. No matter that it took, Oikawa would not give the younger man up. Not to Hinata or anyone else.

 

 


	10. Rivals in Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata visits Kageyama at the worst possible time.

Saturday morning found Kageyama Tobio… surprisingly not nearly as sick as he should’ve been, considering the copious amount of alcohol he’d consumed the night before. To sum up Oikawa’s Teacher of the Year Awards gala in one word, Kageyama would describe the entire occasion as: stressful. Not only was Kageyama appearing publicly as Oikawa’s partner for the first time ever, but that appearance would be at Oikawa’s _job,_ where the brunette’s superiors and peers alike were free to judge the blue-eyed man as harshly as humanly possible. And, when given the opportunity, many of the people Kageyama met that night did just that. It didn’t help, of course, that Oikawa had slept with the lion’s share of them, and many of his former lovers were now jealous and angry that Oikawa was officially seeing someone…

…these were the thoughts that pulsed through Kageyama’s mind as he knelt over the toilet bowl, just waiting for his body to decide whether he would be throwing up or not. He was shocked when, two minutes after he ran to the bathroom, a knock came on the bathroom door. He wasn’t sure how to respond—was he supposed to say that it was occupied, or that he was waiting to throw up? Wholly failing to come up with a proper response, Kageyama simply called out, “Yeah?”. The door clicked open, and in the doorway stood a scantily clad Oikawa, smiling gently at his lover on the floor.

“You okay?”, he asked softly as he sat down on the floor beside Kageyama. The younger man shook his head. “I’m gonna puke”, he said, hanging his head over the toilet once more. Oikawa began rubbing his back, up and down slowly and softly. “I’m sure”, the brunette cooed, “You deserve it, after last night.” Kageyama leaned back and cast a suspicious glance at Oikawa. “…what are you doing?”, he asked, “…why are you being so nice?”. The older man laughed and leaned forward, pressing his forehead on Kageyama’s shoulder. “I guess you really _don’t_ remember anything from last night?”, he laughed. Kageyama carefully shook his head. “N- not much. I remember getting there, of course, and meeting your principal and vice principal. I… I don’t know. Everything is a blur. I remember meeting a lot of people, and a lot of those people being assholes, and I could describe the bartender’s face in great detail to a police sketch artist.” Oikawa laughed at Kageyama’s last sentence; it _figured_ that the only person Kageyama actually remembered was the bartender.

“Shall I fill you in?”, asked the brunette amusedly. Kageyama held his head over the toilet once more. “Do I— _urk—_ do I _want_ to know?”. Oikawa couldn’t help but smile. He was feeling _really_ good. He was happy that the younger man had forgotten everything he said he would and more. Oikawa had gotten the gratification of being able to say ‘I love you’ without the emotional obligations that came with loving someone and being loved. Their relationship wouldn’t change because of a moment of weakness on the brunette’s part.

“Well”, Oikawa started, drawing out the last syllable, “Let’s see. You made a lot of new enemies. You blew me in the men’s room”—Oikawa swore he heard Kageyama’s stomach turn, before the dark haired man replied, “…just like old times, then.” Oikawa then laughed, “You literally said that as you were getting on your knees! Ha! …let’s see… I got my award, you got threatened by the coach for my volleyball team, you drank more alcohol than I ever would’ve guessed you were capable of...” “I am well aware of that fact right now” “…and we officially became a couple.”

Oikawa was very surprised that this statement was what set off Kageyama’s vomiting. He couldn’t help but brush the dark-hair out of the young man’s face as he ejected the contents of his stomach into the toilet. As soon as he was able to stop heaving, Kageyama wiped his mouth on his arm and, turning to the older man, exclaimed, “I’m so sorry! I didn’t throw up because of what you said! I was in here because I had to throw up, and I was just surprised, that’s all! It’s not that I—” “Tobio-chan”, the older man smiled, stretching back and grabbing a towel off the rack to hand to Kageyama, “I _know._ That was another thing—I made you take some medicine before bed, but I was certain before the night even started that you were going to be sick, so I promised I’d take care of you. It’s okay.” After wiping his face, Kageyama sat studying the towel. “I…”, he started, sighing deeply before turning to his now-boyfriend, “…thank you, Oikawa.” “Oh, also”, grinned the brunette, standing up and offering a hand to the younger man, “…you called me Tōru four times last night.” Kageyama frowned as he stood. “…so what _actually_ happened last night?” “I’m telling the truth, dumbass! You called me Tōru! Four times!” “…I don’t believe you.”

Oikawa had kept his promise. He cared for Kageyama with so much love and tenderness that he was honestly shocked his behavior didn’t drudge up the memories of the words he’d exchanged with the younger man the night prior. After Kageyama had thrown up a second time, Oikawa threw him in the shower, bathing him completely so that the only thing the younger man had to do was keeping himself upright. He then took him out to the couch, where he made a little bed for Kageyama and fed him soup. Every few minutes he’d remind Kageyama to drink something so that he wouldn’t get dehydrated. Even Alexander—Oikawa’s Turkish Angora cat, who hated the weekends he had to spend at Kageyama’s tiny apartment-- seemed to be participating in caring for the hungover man; the fluffy white cat sat curled up in a ball on Kageyama’s feet which, as far as affection from Alexander was concerned, was the equivalent of everything Oikawa had done and more. After some time spent tossing and turning restlessly, Kageyama finally managed to fall asleep, cuddled up in nothing but his boxers underneath the comforter Oikawa had dragged out from the bedroom.

Around 5:30, Kageyama’s phone buzzed where it still sat on top of the kitchen countertop. Oikawa had been waiting for this moment with great apprehension all day, and his plot to separate Kageyama and Hinata for good had changed about a hundred times from where it started.

Initially, Oikawa wanted to have Kageyama tied up in the bedroom. When Hinata showed up, Oikawa would spend several minutes with the redhead, explaining that Kageyama belonged to him now, and that he wasn’t keen on sharing. He’d then show off his prize, perhaps even going so far as to begin fucking him, or invite Hinata to join, or something like that.

But he realized that these things would hurt Kageyama. It was not Oikawa’s right use Kageyama’s body for his own personal gain, and though that would be common sense for just about anybody else, Oikawa was having a hard time coming to terms with this. He wasn’t prepared to actually _care_ about another person, and how his behavior would impact them. He’d become selfish and guarded since his departure from Iwaizumi and he knew it. Each time he thought about what would be Kageyama’s best interest, a part of him—the part that desperately clung on to every thought, memory, and feeling attached to Iwaizumi—died.

When the text message came in that read “ **Shoyo (5:33pm):** train got in early! Ill c u soon!”, Oikawa briefly grappled with his conscience before finally committing to a path of action. He sat down on the couch beside Kageyama, who had been asleep for nearly two hours, and kissed him softly. He kissed him again, and again, until the younger man’s lips responded to his own, pressing up and sucking Oikawa’s lips back in. Once it was clear that Kageyama was awake, Oikawa sat back and moved his hand under the blanket. “How are you feeling?”, he asked gently. Kageyama cracked his eyes open and shrugged, “Better now. Still tired.” Grinning devilishly, Oikawa moved his hand between Kageyama’s legs, causing the younger man to jump. “It would seem that there’s a piece of you that isn’t so tired”, the brunette laughed. Kageyama scrunched his nose at Oikawa before sitting up and quickly planting his lips on the older man’s once more. Oikawa pulled the younger man into his lap and kissed him deeply. 

Oikawa had always loved kissing Kageyama. Kageyama did not kiss lazily, but rather treated their liplock as a battle for who could more effectively communicate their feelings. Oikawa, instead, preferred to tease the younger man, biting, sucking, pulling, prodding, anything besides giving in to Kageyama’s desires.

The blanket had quickly been cast on the floor, with a huffy Alexander retreating into Kageyama’s closet. He was used to being kicked out when his owner started getting frisky, but it wasn’t something he was happy about.

Oikawa was doing his best to pace himself; he really _didn’t_ want Hinata to walk in on them screwing, but at the rate that things were picking up, he wasn’t sure how long he could hold back. As it was, he couldn’t restrain himself from thrusting upwards, drawing searing electricity from the point his cock connected with Tobio's ready ass through two layers of fabric. Kageyama’s moans were mostly stifled by Oikawa’s tongue, but they were still driving the older man absolutely crazy. _‘Just a little bit longer’,_ he thought to himself over and over, _‘He should be here any minute’._

“Mmf— _Oikawa—”,_ started Kageyama after successfully tearing his lips away from the older man’s. The brunette did his best to capture Kageyama’s lips once more, but he resisted, instead looking up at Oikawa with a flushed face and glossy eyes. When he spoke his voice was strained, and the words were hardly audible: “ _Tōru_ _—fuck me.”_  Oikawa’s heart skipped a beat, and suddenly it didn’t matter _what_ state Chibi-chan would find them in; Oikawa needed Kageyama at least twice as badly as Kageyama needed him. The front of his sweatpants were surely drenched in precum, their very existence something that Kageyama was attempting to negate as he clawed at Oikawa’s waistband. The older man sunk his teeth into Kageyama’s shoulder, drawing out a long, deep moan from the younger man…

…and a gasp from across the room.

Both men were immediately shaken from their lust-fueled foreplay, looking back over the couch to see a stunned Hinata Shoyo standing in the doorway with a set of keys at his feet. No one spoke for what felt like an eternity before Oikawa finally plastered on a shit-eating grin and waved, “Hey Chibi-chan, long time no see!”. Kageyama smacked Oikawa’s arm, then scrambled to try to stand up before realizing… he was only wearing boxer-briefs. “Oh my god!”, shouted Hinata, before storming out, leaving the front door wide open. “Shoyo, wait!”, Kageyama yelled after the small redhead. The younger man ran to his bedroom and grabbed the first pair of pants he could find—which, incidentally, belonged to Oikawa—before dashing out the front door, slamming it behind him.

Oikawa stood and stretched, scanning the room for his cat. He found Alexander hunched over his food bowl and promptly scooped him up before crossing over to the front window. “You’re going to want to see this”, he hummed to his pet, stroking his neck absentmindedly. The brunette carefully propped the front window open and sat on the sill, watching the drama play out below.

“You can’t tell me that that isn’t _exactly_ what it looked like!”, shouted the young redhead. It was evident by the tone of his voice that he was crying. “I’m not trying to tell you that. It _was_ exactly what it looked like, but there’s more to it than that—” “Why did you even _bother_ having me come?! Are you just trying to rub it in my face?” “Wh- what? ‘Have you come’? Shoyo, this is a complete surprise to me. I had no idea you were in town…” “I texted you about it like five times!”, Hinata shouted. “Please…”, started Kageyama, hanging his head, “…can we please go inside, and let me explain myself? It’s a really complicated situ—” “I don’t see how you fucking the Grand King can be a complicated situation!” “Please, let’s just go inside…” “Not while _he’s_ there!”

Oikawa frowned. As much as he wanted to sit on the windowsill and creep on Hinata and Kageyama’s conversation, he realized that he was going to have to put Kageyama’s needs before his own if he wanted his plan to work. He got dressed quickly, popping into the bathroom to make sure his hair was okay. He then grabbed his own cell phone as well as Kageyama’s and his keys and headed downstairs.

The sight he stumbled upon turned his stomach. Kageyama stood looking helplessly upon Hinata, who was sitting on the planter outside his building absolutely sobbing. The dark-haired man looked up at Oikawa and frowned. “Here”, Oikawa said, handing Kageyama his own phone, “…text me when you’re done. Stop making a scene and go inside if you’re going to act like this.” The redhead pushed himself up and darted inside the building. “Nice seeing you too!”, Oikawa called after him, earning another frown from Kageyama. “…Oikawa-san…”, he started, frowning deeply. “What, suddenly Tōru is gone again?”. Kageyama couldn’t help but smirk. He leaned up and kissed Oikawa’s cheek. “Be nice. I don’t know what’s going on, but I do know that this isn’t what he expected…”. Oikawa nodded and grabbed Kageyama’s hand, only to let his fingers slide out of the younger man’s palm once more. “…I’ll let you know when we’re done talking.” Oikawa nodded, then turned to leave. “Oh”, the brunette called over his shoulder, stopping after two steps, “…just so you know… I trust you.”

Oikawa did his best to keep his mind off of his current situation as he wandered aimlessly throughout the city. While what he said was true—that he trusted Kageyama—he still couldn’t help but feel unsettled. _‘It’s only natural’,_ he reasoned with himself, _‘to be uncomfortable when your boyfriend and his fuck buddy are alone in your boyfriend’s apartment.’_ His thoughts turned to Alexander, though he quickly found that this was a dangerous mental pathway to pursue. _‘What if Kageyama explains that Alexander is mine and Chibi-chan gets angry and hurts him? …no, no, I can’t picture him hurting anything… but what if he lets him out, and poor Alexander has to roam the streets, cold and alone and dirty?!’_

Before he knew it, the sun had set, and though Oikawa was checking his phone often, he hadn’t heard a word from Kageyama. It had been nearly two hours since he left Kageyama’s apartment, and he felt like that was more than enough ‘alone time’ for the two former teammates. After a little bit of mental back-and-forth, Oikawa decided that he would pick something up and head back. _‘Am I going to walk in on them the same way Chibi-chan walked in on me?’,_ he worried.

Oikawa found himself wishing, as he looped around the park he’d been walking through, that he had even one single friend that he could talk to about his situation. There wasn’t a person he knew who would be able to give him advice or comfort him in a way that wouldn’t be destructive to his budding relationship. He wished he could call Iwaizumi. Even if he and Iwa-chan would never be together again romantically, he still missed having the best friend he’d ever had.

Before he knew it, he’d pulled out his phone and dialed Iwaizumi’s number. He knew it by heart, even after all these years—even after he’d deleted his ex from his contacts. He held his breath in the few seconds it took to connect and say: _We’re sorry, this number is no longer in service._

Oh well. This wasn’t the first time that Iwa-chan wasn’t there for him when he needed him, and it wouldn’t be the last. As much as he was growing to love Kageyama… Oikawa was pretty certain that the void left by Iwaizumi would never really be filled. He shrugged it off as he shoved his phone back in his pocket and began thinking about what he could bring back with him for his lover. His first thought was alcohol; this was most definitely a situation that called for getting drunk and relaxing, and letting one’s troubles melt away. Or at least, it would be, had Kageyama not still been suffering the effects of his wicked hangover from the previous night. His mind then turned to some more cliched things, like flowers or chocolates. But… if Hinata was still there when he got back, this would be distasteful, and come across as flaunting his relationship with Kageyama.

He thought on this for a few more minutes as he wandered back in the direction of Kageyama’s apartment before realizing exactly what the situation called for. He ducked into a convenience store along the way and headed back to his boyfriend’s place. He let himself in the front door and began feeling a mounting sense of dread as he trudged up the stairs to the young man’s apartment. _‘What if they really_ **_are_ ** _fucking? Could Kageyama do something like that? Could he… could he cheat on_ **_both_ ** _of us? What do I do if—’_ Oikawa’s racing thoughts were interrupted as he reached the top of the first staircase; from deep within his left pocket, his phone was singing out the special tone that let him know it was Kageyama. Oikawa quickly withdrew his phone, swiping to answer it with a speed that might indicate that his life depended on it.

“H- Hello?”, he asked into the receiver, doing his best to steady his voice and his racing heartbeat. “Hey”, called Kageyama, whose voice betrayed that he’d been crying, “We’re just about done here. Shōyō’s just using the bathroom and then he’s leaving, so you can come back whenever you--”.

Kageyama stopped speaking when the front door clicked open and a coy Oikawa Tōru stepped into his apartment. He ended the call before raising an eyebrow to the older man. “...You didn’t actually leave, did you?”. Oikawa held up the brown plastic bag he had strung over his wrist and smiled. “I did, actually. Your timing was just perfect.” Kageyama nodded wordlessly, then looked back towards the bathroom. “Go sit”, he commanded, “And please, for the love of god, don’t say anything else.” Oikawa forced himself to snicker as if he wasn’t even remotely threatened by this situation, though he did follow Kageyama’s instructions, throwing his bag on the coffee table before seating himself on the small sofa. Moments later, the bathroom door clicked open.

“Shōyō”, Kageyama started, “You don’t have to leave. You came all this way… please, stay. You can sleep on the couch.” Hinata cast a look of abject disgust over to Oikawa before frowning at Kageyama. “Stay here? While _you two_  are here? No, thanks.” Kageyama frowned as Hinata began slipping on his shoes. “Well-- um-- you can have the bed and we’ll take the couch! Or-- or you can stay here, and Oikawa-san and I can go to his apartment! Just… I’d hate to see you turn around after coming so far…”. Hinata scoffed. He pulled his jacket on, slung his bag over his shoulder, and called behind him, “Yeah, thanks but no thanks. I’ll go find a hotel or something.” “A hotel?”, repeated Oikawa, “Why aren’t you going home?”. Hinata spun on his heel and glared at Oikawa. “Don’t think this is over, Grand King! I’m not giving Tobio up that easily! I’ll be back tomorrow and we’re going to discuss this!”. Oikawa began laughing heartily, but a quick glare from Kageyama shut him up. He did his best to maintain a straight face as he held up a thumb and called, “Sure thing, Shorty. We’ll be here.”

Moments later the door slammed, and an exhausted Kageyama threw himself on the couch beside Oikawa, flopping over and laying his head in the older man’s lap. Oikawa gently stroked Kageyama’s hair, allowing a full minute of silence before asking, “Do you want to talk about it?”. Kageyama shook his head and draped an arm across Oikawa’s knees, where he clung to the older man as if he were a life preserver. “Here”, Oikawa grunted as he did his best to lean forward without disturbing Kageyama, “…I got you something.” Oikawa successfully looped the bag’s handle in his fingers and sat back before pulling out two pints of ice cream. Kageyama looked up and a bittersweet smile crossed his face.

“It’s cookie dough and rocky road. I wasn’t sure which you’d prefer, but I’ll eat either, so just pick which one you—“. Oikawa was interrupted by a deep, heartfelt kiss from the younger man. He set the pints on the arm of the couch and wrapped his own arms around Kageyama, pulling him from where he knelt on the couch into his lap. This time Kageyama’s kisses were different. They were slower and Oikawa could practically feel the sorrow leaking out of Kageyama’s mouth. After a few minutes, the younger man pulled back, instead resting his head in the crook of Oikawa’s neck. “You don’t have to say it back, but… I love you, Oikawa-san.”

Oikawa’s heart broke.

He wanted to say it back, wanted desperately to tell Kageyama how much he loved him, and how much he appreciated him, and how scared he’d been while the two former lovers were alone together, but he just couldn’t. Instead he gripped the younger man to him, holding him tightly. “I’ll always be here for you”, Oikawa whispered, kissing the side of Kageyama’s head as he cradled the other, “…Always.”

 


	11. In the Open

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata returns to challenge the legitimacy of Oikawa's relationship with Kageyama.

“Hinata just texted and said he’s on his way over, and that he’ll be here in 15 minutes”, Kageyama called into the living room, “...are you going to get dressed?”. “No!”, pouted Oikawa, as he held a resigned Alexander to his chest, “I don’t even understand why we have to do this! You love _me._ What’s left to talk about?”.

Kageyama came out from the bedroom and stood before Oikawa with his hands on his hips. “I know,  and I’m sorry. I just… I was very unfair to Hinata with the way I ended things. I didn’t even _tell_ him that I was seeing someone else.” “Yeah, well, what about how unfair you’re being to me?”, Oikawa sulked, burying his face in the white fur before him. “I am confident that I can make that up to you”, Kageyama smirked, “...but if I can’t smooth things over with Shōyō, then I’ll have lost the only friend I’ve ever really had.” “Pshh”, Oikawa retorted, “Who needs friends? You don’t see me griping about not having friends.” Again, he buried his face in Alexander. Kageyama was pretty sure that Oikawa’s cat was up for sainthood with the way he tolerated his owner. In truth, Alexander was used to these sulking fits by the brunette; he just hoped that this one would pass quickly, as he was lodged in a very uncomfortable position against Oikawa’s knees.  As if sensing this, Kageyama reached down and plucked Alexander out from Oikawa’s lap, earning a whine from the older man and a grateful purr from the feline.

“Go get dressed. Come on. Be a big boy. This is extremely important to me. I need Shōyō to not hate me.” “Ugh _FINE.”,_ complained Oikawa, who then stormed into the bedroom like a petulant child.

He reemerged when the doorbell rang and flopped on the couch once more. “...don’t worry, I’ll get it”, responded Kageyama dryly. Not a minute later, Kageyama returned… with far more people than Oikawa had expected. It was almost as if Karasuno was having a class reunion in Kageyama’s dinky little apartment; behind Kageyama came Hinata, Tanaka, Daichi, and Sugawara. As everyone greeted Kageyama, Oikawa began laughing, and found he had a hard time stopping himself. “...Oikawa-san…”, Kageyama frowned, shaking his head in embarrassment. “No-- no--!”, Oikawa choked out, “Did Chibi-chan _seriously_ go tell mommy and daddy?!”. Kageyama couldn’t help but smirk: yes, that was exactly how it looked. Hinata told Mommy Suga and Daddy Daichi that Kageyama was being mean, and feisty Uncle Tanaka came, too, to flex some muscle if need be.

Once Oikawa finally calmed down, he stood and crossed the room, taking his place beside Kageyama. “I can’t say I ever expected to see _any_ of you again, but, you’re all looking well.” “So are you”, smiled Sugawara softly. Oikawa eyed the ash-blonde suspiciously; he’d never trusted Karasuno’s former setter, and firmly believed that he was far more intelligent and conniving than he let on.

Kageyama looked around his apartment and sighed. “...I don’t really have much room here… should we… I dunno, should we go get food or something?”. Sugawara smiled gently and clapped Kageyama’s arm. “That’s a great idea! I’m sure Tanaka’s starved, since he came all the way from Sendai…”. Oikawa raised an eyebrow. “Sendai, huh? Wow, Chibi-chan must’ve made this sound _really_ bad. I’m afraid you’re all going to be disappointed, though, when you realize that Shorty here is just sulking.” “Oikawa…”, whispered Kageyama, gripping the older man’s hand. Tanaka, who had clearly been doing his best to keep his mouth shut, made one of his trademark intimidating faces and, glancing to Daichi out of the corner of his eye, asked, “Does this _Nice Guy_ here _have_ to come with us?”. Sugawara turned around and smiled to his friends. “...well, since this situation seems to pertain to him… yes, it’s only fair that he joins us. Now stop making faces and let’s go find some food.”

 The group settled on a popular diner a few blocks away from Kageyama’s apartment. In truth, they didn’t want their situation to be overheard by too many, and even went so far as to specifically request a booth in the far corner of the restaurant. After placing their orders-- consisting solely of different drinks and a plate of appetizers to share for everyone except Tanaka (who ordered a burger)-- Sugawara looked around at the group. “So”, he smiled softly, “it is my understanding that Shōyō here feels that Tobio is being manipulated into some sort of relationship with Oikawa-san. Is that the gist of it?”. Oikawa couldn’t help but snort, which earned him another elbow in the side from Kageyama. _“Knock it off”,_ Kageyama whispered.

Hinata leaned forward, propping himself up on his elbows, and looked directly at Oikawa. “I refuse to believe that Tobio would _ever_ give up our plans to be together! I know about your past! I don’t know how you’re manipulating him, or if you’re abusing him or holding him hostage or _what,_ but I do know that Kageyama would never cheat on me!”

Kageyama frowned. “Shōyō, that’s too much…”, he started. “Tobio-chan _didn’t_ cheat on you”, Oikawa said, folding his arms as well, “ _You_ didn’t commit to him. You were both too afraid to take the plunge and actually _be_ in a long-distance relationship, and actually _plan_ for the future, and someone else came and took him. That’s it. Plain and simple.” “I wasn’t taken…”, started Kageyama, only to be interrupted by Hinata. “We had _plans._ We were gonna move together after college-- that’s only six months away! And then-- and then we were finally gonna be together…”. “Yeah, but--”, started Kageyama, only to be cut off again by Oikawa. “If your plans were so solid, you wouldn’t have been afraid to put a label on your relationship. Did _either_ of you start looking at jobs or apartments near where you wanted to live? Did you two even _decide_ where you wanted to live? No! Cuz if you did, we wouldn’t be here right now! The fact of the matter is that you did not have a relationship, and--” “ _ENOUGH”,_ roared Kageyama, slamming his hands on the table. The entire restaurant went silent and turned to see what all the commotion was.

“You--”, he said quietly, turning to Oikawa, “--shut up. I love you, and I appreciate that you’re trying to help me, but shut it. This whole situation has been a terrible mess for _years,_ and it’s time for me to address it. And _you_ \--”, he said, rounding on Hinata, “If I had _known_ that you were going to create such a shitstorm, I would’ve told you to just go home. Nobody else needs to be involved in this. So, Sugawara-san, Daichi-san, Tanaka-san, I’m sorry that you got dragged out here. Shōyō should’ve known better, and I am deathly embarrassed that he didn’t.” Everyone looked absolutely shocked. The Kageyama that they first met six years prior was prone to outbursts of anger, but never before had the Karasuno crew seen him so composed and well-spoken.

“Shōyō”, Kageyama continued, turning to the redhead who was once again on the verge of tears, “...Like I said last night… I can’t tell you how sorry I am. I didn’t want to make a decision about us because I honestly didn’t believe Oikawa-san was going to stick around. I thought this would be for fun, and, I mean… we both agreed that, if either of us had the opportunity to hook up with other people, we could, as long as it wasn’t more than a hookup…” “Well, _clearly_ you broke that rule”, Hinata said sadly, a fat tear rolling down his cheek. “...I didn’t realize that I broke the rule until it was too late”, shrugged Kageyama, “Every day, I’d wake up and wait to never hear from Oikawa-san again.” The brunette cringed at this statement. Apparently he was not the only one who’d been broken all those years ago. “And every day that I heard from him, every day that I woke up and he was still around, was another massive surprise. He kept saying that he’s different from how he was in high school-- how he was in middle school. I had a hard time believing it. But the truth is, I love him, and I have to believe that he loves me, too. We officially became a couple on Friday night… er-- not that I remember it-- and then I found out about it yesterday morning. There wasn’t even _time_ for me to tell you before you just… _showed up._ ”

“I didn’t like sneaking around and lying, and I’m really sorry that I chose to lie to you instead of being forthcoming. The truth was that I was scared that you would end things with me, and then I’d wake up one day and Oikawa-san would be gone, and I’d be left all alone.”

Kageyama drummed his fingers on the tabletop for a moment before continuing, “Shō… you _know_ that, through everything, you’ve been my best friend, and the only person I could open up to. I can’t stand the thought of losing that. But… if we’re being honest here… I think it was really unfair for you to expect me to sit around and wait for you while you lived the ‘college experience’ and did who and what you wanted, all while keeping me on retainer.” At this, Hinata recoiled. “You were free to do the same!”, he exclaimed, pushing back from the table. Kageyama shook his head sadly. “But I couldn’t, and you knew that. You knew that I wasn’t going to go around making friends and going to parties like you were. These…”, Kageyama took a deep breath and looked searchingly to each person at the table. Sugawara and Daichi were transfixed on his story. Tanaka was still shooting Oikawa dirty looks in between bites of his sandwich, while Hinata cycled through various positions of sulking. Oikawa sat with his hands folded neatly on the table and stared at his own fingers while Kageyama spoke.

After one more deep breath, Kageyama continued with a shaky voice that betrayed how fragile his emotions really were.  “...these were the loneliest three years of my life. Yeah, you came to visit me, but what did you really think I was doing in the time that our visits were getting more and more infrequent? What did you think I was doing when our text messages dwindled down to next to nothing?” “I… I didn’t…”, Hinata started, tears pooling in his own eyes. “...I know. You _didn’t_ think about what I was doing. And that’s okay. Because you _have_ friends. You _have_ interests. And… you have…”, Kageyama reached out and took Oikawa’s hand in his left, burying his face in the palm of his right, “... _volleyball._ ”

Oikawa watched as a deep sorrow crossed through the faces of the men at the table. He put his arm around Kageyama but still sat clueless as to what, exactly, was going on. He’d never asked Kageyama why he didn’t play volleyball in college. He’d never asked how the seasons without him as a rival went. He didn’t know why Kageyama was inferring that he _didn’t_ have volleyball _._

“Tobio…”, Hinata said reproachfully. Tears were streaming from his eyes, and each of the other men brought their own hands up to wipe their own tears away. Kageyama finally shook his head, shaking off the tears that he’d been crying. “No”, the former setter said firmly, wiping his face with his sleeve, “I don’t want pity. That’s why I came all the way up here. I don’t want pity. I just want to live my life.” _‘Pity?’,_ Oikawa repeated in his head, now certain that he was most definitely missing a key piece of this conversation.

“You’ve been talking about what _you_ want, and what’s unfair for _you”_ , Kageyama said, clearly choosing his words carefully, “...but did you ever once think about how unfair you were being, or about what _I_ want?”. Kageyama held up his and Oikawa’s hands with their fingers intertwined. “ _This_ is what I want.” Again Oikawa’s heart skipped a beat. How did Kageyama always manage to make his heart stop like this?

“I want someone who will always be there for me. Someone that I talk to _every day_ , even if we can’t see each other. I want someone who makes every effort to see me. And, Shō… I want someone who isn’t embarrassed to be in a relationship with a guy. Or at least, a guy like me.” Hinata was still crying as he stammered out, “I-- I’m not--”. “You are”, Kageyama nodded, setting Oikawa’s hand back down. “I’m not allowed to so much as _touch_ you until we’re in my apartment or your dorm. Meanwhile… Oikawa-san visits me at my job and walks me home from school. On Friday, Oikawa-san took me to this big fancy work party, where I met _all_ of his coworkers, and was introduced as his _partner._ I’ve never met a single friend of yours. How… how could you expect me to choose being a dirty little secret over being in a _real_ relationship?”.

Hinata sat forward, tears still running down his cheeks. Sugawara gently rubbed his back as he tried for several moments to speak, before finally crying, “I didn’t _know_ it bothered you! I thought you were okay with being-- you know…” “...in the closet?”, Kageyama finished. “Well, not _‘in the closet’,_ but, I didn’t want anyone to think of me any differently because I was with a guy. I-- I mean-- I’m on a _professional sports team_. We all have to get changed together and stuff. Don’t you think that they’d get weirded out knowing that there was someone there that could be checking them out?”

“It’s your right to feel that way”, Kageyama said, “but it’s also my right to want more.”

Tanaka, who’d been silently sitting directly across from Oikawa with his arms folded, looked the brunette up and down. “And you’re saying”, he started, interrupting a long silence during which the only sound that could be heard at their table was Hinata’s gentle sobs, “...that this _Nice Guy_ has been treating you well, and that he’s making you happy?”. Kageyama nodded. “I was really nervous about it when I first ran into him. We accidentally bumped into each other in a coffeeshop downtown, and after everything that has happened between us, I _really_ didn’t want anything to do with him. But, like he’s been telling me for nearly two months now, he’s not the same guy that he was six years ago. He takes really good care of me. And… for the first time since the accident… I’m _happy._ ” While everyone else smiled and murmured their approval, Oikawa couldn’t help but get stuck on one particular part of Kageyama’s monologue: _‘Accident? What accident?’._

“Well”, Tanaka said, finally dropping his hyper-aggressive posture, “If he makes you happy, there’s nothing I can say.” Sugawara nodded. “To be honest, Shōyō, I think Kageyama’s argument makes sense. I definitely appreciate what you’re so worked up about, but I also understand the situation he was put in.” Daichi nodded, and leaned forward to look at Hinata. “...We can’t break them up for you. I think that everyone here would’ve been more comfortable if this was someone other than Oikawa--” “Pff, thanks”, muttered the brunette, “--but they seem happy. And, well… I think the only thing that’s left is that you need to decide whether you’re okay with Kageyama being happy, and if you can still be friends with him after everything you two have gone through.” “It’s not really going to be any different”, Kageyama shrugged, “If anything-- I mean, if you’ll still be my friend, that is-- But, if anything, we’ll probably talk more now that the expectation is gone. I _won’t_ be hurt every time I talk to you. I’ll be talking to you because I want to, not because it’s what we’re supposed to do.”

“I don’t need an answer tonight, by the way”, Kageyama said quietly, “...or tomorrow, or this week, even. But I do really want you to think about it, and if it helps your decision-making, know that _I_ really want us to be friends.”

Hinata buried his face in his folded arms, and moments later a muffled voice said, “Of _course_ I want to be your friend, Bakageyama. ...I don’t want to lose _my_ best friend, either.” “There we go!”, beamed Sugawara as he pat Hinata on the back. “Good work, everyone! This whole issue is--” “But”, Hinata continued, sitting up once more and leveling his gaze with Oikawa before looking back to Kageyama, “...I’m still not okay with this. I’m telling you right now, he’s gonna hurt you-- worse than he hurt you last time-- and we’re gonna have to clean up the mess.” Kageyama glanced to Oikawa, who was clearly doing his best to control his temper as he gazed around the room trying to pass off an air of aloofness. “We’ll deal with that if and when it happens, Shōyō”, smiled Sugawara as he looped his arm through Daichi’s.

“And another thing--”, the redhead started, earning glares from everyone besides Oikawa, “--how are you trying to tell me you love someone that you still call -san?”. At this Oikawa laughed sincerely. “Tobio-chan has called me Tōru five whole times _ever._ I’m as bothered by it as you are.” Kageyama smiled pleasantly to Oikawa before turning back to Hinata. “I’ve known him as Oikawa-san for almost a decade. It’s just what comes out comfortably.”  “Yeah, well”, the redhead huffed, folding his arms in front of him again, “I don’t like it.”

 

After what had felt like an _impossibly_ long day, Kageyama and Oikawa returned to the younger man’s apartment, both collapsing on the couch in accordance with their usual routine. “Tobio-chan”, groaned the brunette as he slouched on Kageyama’s lap, “Has anyone ever told you that you’re a lot of work?”. The blue-eyed man smiled and rolled his eyes. “You’re no walk in the park, here, either, sunshine.” “Yeah, well”, Oikawa groaned as he rotated and tried to get comfortable, “at least I didn’t make you sit through a trial where everyone I knew said how much they hated you.” Kageyama laughed explosively. “Are you _kidding?_ ...Have you forgotten Friday night already?!”. From his lap came a small “...oh, yeah.”

Kageyama sat stroking Oikawa’s hair in silence for a while, just looking upon the older man. He really… couldn’t believe that this was his life. He couldn’t believe that he’d finally gotten the courage to end things with Hinata, or that he finally _trusted_ Oikawa, of all people, to not leave him. He couldn’t believe he’d finally confessed his love to Oikawa after all these years and, while it wasn’t exactly reciprocated directly, it most certainly hadn’t been rejected this time around. As he thought over all the things that he couldn’t believe, something stuck out in his mind, irritating him until he finally spoke.

“Oikawa-san”, Kageyama said sternly to the older man who was laying blissfully in his lap, “...did you know that Shōyō was coming?”. A reflexive smile quickly crossed Oikawa’s face and in that moment he knew he’d been caught. “...why do you ask?”, asked the brunette, rolling onto his back so he could look up at his boyfriend, “...will I be in trouble?”. Kageyama rolled his eyes and shook his head. “No, you jerk, I was just curious.”

After a moment, Oikawa sat up and rubbed the back of his head. “...you have to understand, Tobio-chan. I’ve seen the messages he sends you. And, well, I figured it would be better to get things out in the air. If you wanted to be with him, you could’ve told me to beat it, but… I just…”. Oikawa was still struggling massively to try to get out the right words. Honesty and forthcomingness were not two of his most acclaimed traits. He slouched again on the couch, this time resting his head against the back of it and staring at the ceiling. “...I needed to know where I stood. That’s all.” Kageyama shifted his weight on the couch, laying his head on Oikawa’s shoulder. “I understand”, said the younger man as he took Oikawa’s hand and kissed it gently, “...so what are you gonna do, now that you know where you stand?”

Oikawa glanced down at Kageyama and though he could not see much of the younger man’s face, he could still see that his skin had flushed. With a broad smile, the older man said, “Come to the bedroom and I’ll show you what I’m gonna do.”

 


	12. A Familiar Face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama helps his lab partner catch up in class, and Oikawa mopes while he waits for his boyfriend to come home.

“...Oikawa-san, get off of me.”  
“No.”  
“I need to go to school.”  
“No. Stay here with me.”  
“I _really_ need to get going.”  
“But I don't want you to. Don't _I_ get a say in this?”  
“No. Now get _off.”_

And, with one more enthusiastic push from Kageyama, that is the story of how Oikawa wound up splayed out on Kageyama’s bedroom floor while Kageyama himself got dressed for the day.

Oikawa couldn’t help but sulk as he watched Kageyama get ready to leave, even going so far as to turn away from him when the younger man got on his hands and knees to kiss the floor-bound man goodbye. It wasn’t fair. He had the whole day off, and couldn’t even spend it lounging around in bed with his lover the way he wanted to. He’d hoped he’d be able to bribe the blue-eyed man out of going to class-- ‘what college student _didn’t_ skip classes every now and then?’, he argued-- but no matter what his tactic, Kageyama repeatedly reminded Oikawa that it wasn’t _just_ class: he’d agreed (while drunk at Oikawa’s Teacher of the Year banquet) to go in early and tutor his lab partner. If he didn’t go, he wouldn’t just be letting down his parents and himself-- he’d also be negatively impacting someone who’d been nothing but helpful to him.

Oikawa found that he didn’t have the energy to do much once Kageyama left. He slinked around Kageyama’s apartment, laying on various floors and pieces of furniture, as he waited for the time to pass. It was nearly noon by the time that he realized that he no longer had to stay at Kageyama’s tiny little apartment, and that both men could stay at his own loft for the next few days. Kageyama was relieved by this distraction to Oikawa, as it meant his phone would _finally_ stop buzzing out of control every other minute.

As for Kageyama, his tutoring session had gone very well. His lab partner was not only on time, but was also intensely grateful to Kageyama for taking the time out to help him. Kawanishi picked up the lesson quickly, and Kageyama ended the morning feeling pretty proud of himself for not only grasping a concept quicker than someone ( _anyone_ ) else, but for also being able to reteach that concept in a way that the other party could understand. As the two walked over to the science building to attend their class, Kawanishi, who had not stopped thanking Kageyama, suddenly asked, “Hey, do you want to get lunch or something after this? I mean, my treat, of course, since you just spent like two hours reteaching me the chapter”. He punctuated his statement with a nervous laughter, adjusting his backpack as the two walked through the doorway to the building.

Kageyama smiled sadly. “I’d really like to-- most of my friends are back in Miyagi where I went to high school, so it’s been a while since I had lunch with someone else-- but I have work at 2, so that only leaves me like half an hour to grab something from the caf’ before I gotta head to the library.” Kawanishi shrugged as the two climbed the stairs to the second floor. “I’m fine with the cafeteria if you are. And I mean-- you don’t _have_ to get lunch with me. I won’t be offended. I just thought it could be nice.” Kageyama glanced over to the taller man and smiled broadly. “If you’re okay with that, then sure! Sounds good!”.

Chemistry went slowly, as always. The teacher was a cranky old man whose tenure allowed him to make it obvious that he didn’t give two craps about the subject matter or the students he was teaching it to. For the first time in his entire college career, Kageyama found himself socializing during the lab section of his class. Kawanishi was engaging and funny, and Kageyama _actually_ enjoyed working with him, even if neither of them were capable of recreating the experiment the way that they were supposed to.

At the end of their short lunch, Kageyama found himself regretting the brief amount of free time he had in his schedule; he would’ve liked to stay and chat with his lab partner if he could. But still, he had to go to work. It was a Monday, which was always his busiest work day; it had been four days since he last worked, and in those four days not a single returned book was ever placed back on the shelf. The old ladies who served as the librarians were practically antiques themselves and did not believe that it was their place to stock a single shelf when the college employed such a tall, strong young man to do it for them.

Work often passed quickly for Kageyama. He preferred to try to get as much work done on Mondays as possible, so that his shifts on Tuesday and Wednesday wouldn’t be as difficult, but on this particular Monday he was not feeling optimistic that he’d even be able to make a considerable dent in the work load. There had been so many returns in the short four days that the shelves themselves were actually _noticeably_ empty.

The young man worked as hard as he could, completely over-filling the library cart before setting out into the jungle of bookshelves before him. The work was mindless and honestly pleasant; Kageyama found it calming to be able to put things back in order, and was satisfied that his work, when executed correctly, made the lives of his fellow students a bit more bearable. The overall mindlessness of the task, however, granted Kageyama the time to actually contemplate the things that had been going on in his life-- a mental break that he desperately needed since he began seeing Oikawa, who, outside of Kageyama’s work, took up the younger man’s every thought and free moment.

It wasn’t just Oikawa that Kageyama had to think about today, though.

He’d had a long weekend-- easily one of the longest weekends of his life-- in which many, many things had changed. Oikawa introduced him to all of his coworkers, and even defended him in an argument that quite possibly could’ve ended in violence had the brunette not stepped in. The two _officially_ entered a relationship. Kageyama told Oikawa that he loved him. He and Hinata had broken up, and though the break up itself could be considered ‘messy’, they still promised to remain friends and the bad blood between them was minimal. And, surprisingly, it seemed that Kageyama had managed to make a second friend by the sheer dumb luck of getting assigned an equally introverted lab partner. Things seemed to be going okay.

Kageyama took his fair time mulling over each of these separate subjects, and was ultimately so lost in thought that he literally had to be shaken out of it.

 _“Hey”,_ repeated a voice, more sternly this time as the hand of its owner clamped on Kageyama’s shoulder and gently shook him. The dark-haired man was shocked by his sudden reemergence in reality and quickly whipped his head to his side to see who was trying to speak to him. He was surprised to find that it was his lab partner.

“Oh!”, exclaimed Kageyama, “Hey! Sorry, I was totally spaced out.” “I noticed!”, laughed the taller man, “But, hey-- you didn’t tell me that you worked at _this_ library! I would’ve just come with you if I knew that!”. Kageyama beamed as he reached out and swiped another book off of his cart. “Yeah”, he smiled, “I’ve been working here for like a year now. It’s a pretty sweet gig. Literally all I do is put books back.” “Sounds nice”, Kawanishi grinned.

As the two stood and chatted in the fiction: AB-AL aisle, across the library a distractingly attractive man strode out of the elevator. All of the regular library patrons knew of him, and some even spent extra time at the library on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays just in the hopes of seeing him. He was always only ever there to see one person and, by all accounts, he did not even seem to be a college student. There were rumors that he was a model or a movie star who, for some reason, had fallen for the school’s quietest librarian.

Oikawa had, in fact, moved his stuff and Alexander back to his apartment. The white cat was visibly relieved when his crate was opened and he stepped out into his own home. It took Oikawa about four hours to completely finish the move, bringing not only his own clothes home, but the myriad toiletries he’d needed for the gala as well as Kageyama’s suit. As much as he cared for the blue-eyed man, he did not trust him under any circumstance to take proper care of such a fine garment. It was nearly five when he arrived at Kageyama’s school, eager to watch his lover work until the time came when they could leave the library together.

What he was _not_ excited to see was Kageyama deep in discussion with another guy, once he finally found the younger man through rows and rows of books. What was worse was that it seemed Kageyama hadn’t even noticed him. Oikawa watched from a distance as the two men chatted, laughed, and move aisles together and the brunette had to say: he didn’t like this one bit.

When Kageyama had finally navigated to a point in an aisle at which his back was turned to Oikawa, the older man seized his opportunity and quickly approached his boyfriend, wrapping his arms around the younger man from behind. _“Baby, I missed you”,_ Oikawa cooed, kissing Kageyama’s neck before looking up to the third party and locking eyes with this stranger.

_Only… … … this person… … …_

Oikawa stood upright, his eyes fixed on the other man.

This person… Oikawa knew him. But how?

Kageyama patted Oikawa on the arm and, turning to the other person, said, “Sorry about that. This is my boyfriend, Oi--” “--Oikawa Tōru”, finished the stranger, “Yes, we’ve met.”

Oikawa let his arms fall from around Kageyama, stepping to his boyfriend’s side as he tried to figure out who, exactly, this person was, and how he knew Kageyama.

“You’ve… met?”, Kageyama asked confusedly, cocking his head slightly.

Kawanishi laughed and rubbed the back of his head. “Actually, you and I have met as well, long before our chemistry class, Kageyama Tobio. I apologize for not being more forthcoming. I just thought it’d be funny to see how long it’d be before you recognized me.” “Recognized… you…?”, Kageyama asked, clearly still in a daze.

Oikawa squinted at the taller man before it suddenly dawned on him. “You…”, he said, narrowing his eyes slightly, “...you were on Shiritorizawa’s volleyball team. ...I remember you now. You were a starting blocker.” Kageyama was still visibly dazed and kept glancing back and forth between Oikawa and Kawanishi. “Of course, I remember you as well”, grinned the taller man, “but I’m sure I would’ve remembered you even if Ushiwaka wasn’t so _obsessed_ with you.” “O...obsessed?”, repeated Kageyama, glancing back to Oikawa, whose lips were drawn into a thin smile. “Oh, yeah!”, laughed Kawanishi, “Wakatoshi was always so salty that Oikawa-san didn’t come to our school. He always said that if he had a setter like Oikawa-san, our team would be unbeatable. Instead he had Semi, and even Shirabu, but no one could match Oikawa in his eyes. Well… that is, until we lost to _you._ ” A strange look crossed over Oikawa’s face, though he still maintained his terse smile.

“Wow”, Kageyama said as he stared into a random section of library carpeting, “...that’s _amazing._ I’m sorry I didn’t recognize you sooner!”. Oikawa laughed and patted Kageyama on the back. “I don’t think anyone would’ve expected you to recognize Kawasaki here. No one else could possibly stand out when you had that _monster_ ace and that goofy blocker.” Kawanishi folded his arms and smiled politely. “You’re completely right. With those two and Leon, it was very easy to fade into the background. But, having such strong players as wall flowers made it very easy to take down those mindless teams that got distracted by such inconsequential things. Like that time we beat Aobajōsai. Oh- wait, actually it was a few times, wasn’t it, Oikawa-san?”.

At this point, Oikawa was only smiling with the very corners of his mouth; otherwise, the rest of his face revealed just how disgusted he was with the conversation he was being forced to hold. “Oh, you know”, he laughed, “ _kids,_ am I right? High schoolers are so quick to get tunnel vision. But it’s been, what, six years? I mean, for me at least. So even if my ragtag team of high schoolers couldn’t beat that ape Ushiwaka, I do have my own achievements that I can still take pride in since leaving Miyagi. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about, right, Kawasaki?” The tall man narrowed his eyes. “It’s Kawa- _nishi”,_ he said politely. Oikawa grinned and waved dismissively. “I’m sure it won’t matter. I doubt it’ll come up again. Now, sweetie”, Oikawa said, turning to Kageyama, wrapping an arm around the younger man’s waist once more, “Are you ready to go yet? I’ve been so _lonely_ without you.” Kawanishi grinned and put his hands on his hips. “Oh, I’m sorry about that, Kageyama! I didn’t realize that I’d taken you away from someone this morning. I guess we don’t have to study together on Wednesday morning, then!” Kageyama, completely oblivious to the argument that surrounded him behind the veil of pleasantries, raised an eyebrow. “What?”, he asked, “No, of course we can. We have an exam next week and I didn’t get today’s lesson at _all._ ” Kawanishi tossed a smug look over to Oikawa, who gripped Kageyama’s waist even tighter. _“Are you ready to go?”,_ Oikawa repeated through gritted teeth.

Before Kageyama could respond, though, he jumped and plunged his hand into his pocket, withdrawing his phone, and, with a grim look, saying, “I’ll be right back. One of the library ladies needs me.” With that, he dashed off, leaving Oikawa and Kawanishi alone in the aisle.

“So”, started the ginger-haired man, “How long have you and Kageyama been together?”. Oikawa dropped all pretenses, folding his arms and scowling at the taller man. “A few months”, Oikawa replied tersely, “And how, might I ask, do _you_ know him?”. Kawanishi left one hand on his hip, dropping the other to his side. “We’re lab partners for the rest of the semester. It works out really well. He’s surprisingly good at chemistry and doesn’t seem to have caught onto my helpless little ‘I don’t get basic course material’ act, so he’s happy to spend the extra time ‘tutoring’ me. And I’m happy to spend the extra time with a guy as cute as him.”

Oikawa balled his fists and took a small step towards Kawanishi. “He’s in a relationship”, Oikawa snarled. The other man grinned in response. “Yeah, I’ve heard. I’ve also heard how you took complete advantage of him in high school, _and_ I’ve heard how spectacularly your relationship with your own ace crashed and burned. So, honestly, I'm not too put off.”

Oikawa was stunned. All he could choke out was, “Did… did Tobio-chan tell you that?”, to which Kawanishi simply laughed. “Oh, lord, no!”, he chortled, “In fact, I didn’t even know you were a part of his life until just now. No… I heard all of this back at Shiritorizawa. Like I said, Wakatoshi was completely obsessed with you, and Goshiki was completely obsessed with ‘Toshi. Goshiki was neighbors with someone from Aobajōsai… some… brunette kid, and that kid shared all the gossip about you with Goshiki. I mean… _honestly,_ Oikawa, didn’t you think at _all_ when you were in high school? It was only a matter of days before everyone knew everyone else’s secrets.”

Oikawa found himself at a loss for words. How did his past follow him so far away from home?

Kawanishi glanced behind him, making sure that Kageyama was still out of earshot before grinning back at the older man. “I _highly_ doubt that you’re _not_ going to hurt him again. Everyone knows how you are. I don’t know how you coerced him into a relationship with you once more, but it isn’t going to last.” A wicked smile cross Kawanishi's face as he leveled his gaze with Oikawa. “I’ve always thought he was cute, and getting to spend all this time together because of our chemistry class has made me realize… I want him. In my opinion, you don’t _deserve_ a boyfriend as cute as him, after screwing him over the way you did all those years ago. So I intend to take him from you.” The ginger-haired man leaned in and whispered, “The name’s _Kawanishi._ Remember it. It won’t be long before you’re cursing it.”

With that, the taller man pushed past Oikawa and out of sight.

The only thing that the brunette could think was, _‘What the hell was that?!’._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who have no idea who this person is, [this](http://haikyuu.wikia.com/wiki/Taichi_Kawanishi) is Kageyama's lab partner. I chose him because he's a background character with literally no details in either the manga or the anime, but he still has that sense of history with Kageyama. He's moderately attractive and gave me basically a blank slate to work with, without making my own OC. (So, I mean, he is somewhat OC-ish without being a unique character lol).


	13. Unforgotten Promises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa has been uncharacteristically silent, and Tobio is very worried.

Oikawa had been uncharacteristically quiet on the walk back to his place with Kageyama. His answers to any question posed by the younger man were limited to one or two words at most and he did nothing to contribute to conversation on his own.

When the two arrived at his apartment, Kageyama set about cooking the groceries he’d picked up on their way home (as Oikawa refused to indicate an interest in eating anything at all), while the brunette sat on his couch and stared off into space.

Kageyama was worried. Throughout their time together, he’d seen many sides of Oikawa. He’d seen moody Oikawa and sulking Oikawa, angry Oikawa and annoyed Oikawa, but this non-responsive-almost-catatonic Oikawa was a side of the brunette that Kageyama wasn’t familiar with and, honestly, it kind of scared him.

Throughout their unnaturally quiet dinner, Kageyama sat in silent worry after coming to the conclusion that Oikawa was finally going to leave him, and that’s why he’d been acting so strangely. It only made perfect sense to Kageyama that Oikawa would be leaving _now--_ now that Kageyama had sufficiently alienated himself from the only other person he’d ever been close to. Of course he’d leave after making sure Kageyama was all alone. _Of course._

The two did the dishes in silence, bathed in silence, and got into bed in silence. When the darkness of the room had settled, Kageyama finally summoned up enough courage to convince himself to speak.

“Do you want me to leave?”, he asked, filled with apprehension though not an ounce of it leaked out into his voice.

“What?”, came the response, “What the hell are you talking about?”.

Kageyama instantly breathed a sigh of relief. At the very least, Oikawa’s reaction revealed that he _wasn’t_ just laying there wishing Kageyama would leave. Kageyama could feel a shift in the bed and a pull on the covers as Oikawa turned to face him. “Well?”, asked the older man expectantly, “Out with it. What are you talking about?”

“W- well…”, started Kageyama, though he found that he was having significant trouble getting past this word without tearing up, “...It’s just… You’ve never…”, the tears started flowing, and Kageyama quickly brushed them from the corners of his eyes before he continued speaking, “You’ve never just… shut me out like you did this evening. And, well… I was worried… I… was worried… that…”.

The bed shifted again as Oikawa sat up. “You were worried that _what?”,_ the older man spat. Kageyama paused for a moment, unable to find his voice, and that pause was more than enough to confirm Oikawa’s suspicions.

“ _Say it.”,_ he commanded through gritted teeth, gripping the sheets as he clenched his fists. Kageyama couldn’t help the tears that were forcing their way out of him faster and faster, and with a shaky voice he admitted: “I was worried that you were leaving.”

The room fell silent and everything was still for a long moment, and Kageyama knew without a doubt that it was the calm before the storm. He and Oikawa had never had any sort of real argument, but he was certain that the sickness that seemed to permeate the darkness was most definitely an omen of things to come.

Oikawa finally broke the stillness of the room as he climbed out of bed. Kageyama could hear him rooting through his drawers in the darkness, and could identify the strangely familiar sound of Oikawa pulling on clothes. Once the bedroom door was opened, the younger man finally sat up. Before he could beg, _“Where are you going?”,_ through the tears that had not stopped flowing, a solemn voice commanded, “If you want our relationship to last, you won’t leave until I come back.” With that, the door shut, and Kageyama was left alone in the darkness once more.

Kageyama’s heart hurt as he struggled to put the pieces of what had happened together.

He traced back his steps through his mind, trying his best to identify when, exactly, the older man’s affect had changed. Oikawa was… _himself…_ this morning, for sure. He was affectionate in a  moody and demanding sort of way as he begged Kageyama not to leave and then sulked when he finally did. He was affectionate when he showed up at Kageyama’s job, kissing the younger man’s neck and saying how much he missed him. But then, somewhere between that point and the beginning of their walk home, something changed in the older man, and turned him into something that Kageyama could not recognize. He wracked his brain, trying to think of what he possibly could have done to set Oikawa off, but still he found himself coming up empty-handed.

It was nearly an hour before he heard the front door slam shut, followed moments later by the patio door sliding open and slamming shut once more. He stayed in bed for a few minutes before finally convincing himself to go confront Oikawa. He felt a pang in his chest as he approached the glass door; there, standing on the veranda, was Oikawa, gazing out across the city and smoking a cigarette.

“...when did you start _that_ habit?”, frowned the younger man as he stepped out into the cool night. He hugged his arms to himself, lamenting silently that perhaps he should’ve put on a shirt after all. Oikawa quickly glanced at him before taking a long drag on the cigarette, tapping it onto the railing of the porch before exhaling a cloud of smoke. “End of high school.”, Oikawa replied curtly, “‘stopped a few years back.” “Then what are you doing smoking now?”, Kageyama asked, leaning against the railing next to him. Oikawa shrugged half-heartedly. “I probably still smoke a pack or two a year. I only do it when I’m really stressed or need to think, and I don’t keep them on hand, so if I want a smoke I have to go to the convenience store and get some.” Kageyama frowned. “You shouldn’t do that to your body…”, the younger man said, glancing between Oikawa’s hand and his face. Oikawa took another long drag before sighing, “There’s a lot of things I shouldn’t do”.

The words hung in the air as the older man finished his cigarette, though as he pulled the pack out of his pants pocket, Kageyama reached over and snatched it from the older man’s hand. He flipped the lid of the small box open and found that there were already five missing. He frowned up at Oikawa. “...you’ve been home for ten minutes and have already gone through this many?” Oikawa shrugged. “I had one on the walk home”, he shrugged, extending his hand in a silent demand to regain what was his. Kageyama, however, shook his head. “You shouldn’t be smoking”, the younger man repeated, “...If being with me is stressing you out _this much,_ I’ll just leave.”

Oikawa turned his body to face Kageyama, dropping his hand to his side as he frowned deeply. “...you’re an idiot, you know that?”, Oikawa said before turning back to the railing. “...’being with’ you isn’t what’s stressing me out. I _like_ spending time with you. I _enjoy_ your company. I lov--”

The calm that had taken over the brunette with each breath of tobacco suddenly disappeared, evaporating into the air as quickly as each puff of smoke had. He was suddenly gripped with panic at the realization of the words he’d almost admitted to Kageyama in full sobriety.

 

\---

“I love you.”

“I love you too, man.”

“No, not like that, you idiot. I love you. I'm _in_ love with you. ...go ahead and make fun of me if you want. I didn't even mean to tell you, it just sort of slipped out. In fact, forget I said anything--”

This was a day that Oikawa would never forget as long as he lived. It was the day that his lifelong best friend, Iwaizumi Hajime, confessed his love. The two men had always been close, but it seemed as if high school had pushed them even closer together. The moment the words left Iwaizumi’s lips, Oikawa felt as if he was weightless, his heart soaring among the stars above them as they walked home from a late-night practice in the middle of their first year of high school.

“I love you too, Iwa-chan. I always have and I always will.”

The words were effortless. Oikawa was simply speaking the truth, but it was a truth that felt unaccountably _amazing_ to say. He loved Iwa-chan. He’d probably always loved Iwa-chan. No matter how many girlfriends he’d had, Iwa-chan was always his priority (and, because of this, was usually the reason his relationships always ended so quickly).

Oikawa got butterflies when he looked at Iwaizumi, though on this particular night they felt more like full-sized birds than small insects. Iwa-chan had a warm, innocent smile plastered on his face, and though he wouldn’t look at Oikawa, the younger boy could tell that Iwaizumi’s cheeks were flushed as well. Oikawa couldn’t help but tease him, but as a silence fell back among the two boys, and as Oikawa summoned up the strength to take Iwaizumi’s hand in his, Iwa-chan glanced at the brunette and sighed, 

 

“You bring out the worst in me, you know that?”

 

Oikawa never knew what he meant by that. They dated for years, spending countless days and unforgettable nights together. And through all of it, Oikawa had never forgotten those words.

_“You bring out the worst in me, you know that?”_

Late one night in their third year, mere weeks before the fight that ended everything, Oikawa and Iwaizumi snuggled up together, intertwining naked limbs as Iwa-chan held on to his beautiful partner. “Tōru”, came a quiet voice from behind the brunette. “Mmm?”, Oikawa hummed as he wiggled his body in an effort to be even closer to Iwaizumi. “Do you love me?”

Oikawa paused for a moment before rolling over to face Iwaizumi. He looked deep into Iwaizumi’s dark eyes, searching for any sign of amusement or derision before answering honestly, “...of course I do, Iwa-chan. You’re the only person I’ve ever loved.” Iwaizumi leaned forward and tenderly kissed Oikawa’s forehead. “I want you to make me a promise, then”, said the older boy. Oikawa nodded without a second thought. “Anything for you”, he whispered, a gentle smile curling up in the corners of his lips.

Iwaizumi’s face was completely serious as he gazed into Oikawa’s eyes. “...I want you to promise that you’ll never love anyone beside me. That you’ll never look at anyone beside me with the eyes you’re looking at me with now. I want you to promise… that you’ll always be mine.”

Oikawa felt his cheeks flush, but he couldn’t help the smile that took over his face as he said,

 

“Of course, Iwa-chan. You don't even have to ask; you are, and always have been, the only person I’ll ever love. ”

\---

 

What happened?

How did Oikawa drift so far away from that promise?

In the end, he couldn’t finish what he was saying to Kageyama. He grabbed the cigarettes out of the younger man’s hand, lighting one the second it touched his lips. Kageyama interceded once more, however, when he moved to light another.

“Oikawa”, the younger man pleaded, “that is _enough._ Please, I’m begging you, put the cigarettes down and _talk_ to me.”

Again Oikawa glanced at Kageyama, but it was only at this point that he noticed that the younger man was wearing nothing but a thin pair of pajama pants. Oikawa shook his head and smiled. “Alright, fine. Let’s go inside. ...only because I don’t want you to freeze to death out here, dumbass.”

Kageyama cast a glance behind him as he opened the door to the apartment. “I’m not gonna freeze in sixty degree weather, you know.” “It’s probably in the fifties”, Oikawa countered. “...I’m not gonna freeze to death in fifty degree weather, either…”

The two men settled on the couch, with Oikawa pulling the younger man to him in an effort to warm up his cold skin. Oikawa had even draped his hoodie over Kageyama’s chest as they lay together with the blue-eyed man’s back pressed against Oikawa.

Oikawa’s confession was sudden, surprising both men when he blurted out his feelings. “...I’m tired of people assuming that I’m going to hurt you”, he admitted. “I moved as far away from home as I did so I could get away from all the rumors and shit. But now suddenly all these people think I’m just here to hurt you. Chibi-chan said it, Captain-san hinted at it, even your little friend from Shiritorizawa mentioned it once you left. And… well, I mean, you’ve made it clear that you think that way too.” Kageyama’s heart sunk at this statement. He never meant to hurt Oikawa; he was just afraid that history would repeat itself once more. The more he thought about it, the more times he remembered openly mentioning his fear that Oikawa was going to leave.

“Oikawa…”, he started, only to feel the older man shake his head. “I don’t want you to deny it, but I don’t want you to try justifying it either. I get where you’re coming from. It’s just a really shitty feeling.”

After a minute, Kageyama sat up and turned to look at the brunette. “Oikawa-san”, he started, “...I am really sorry. I believe that you’ve changed-- no, I _know_ that you’ve changed. And I know you had your own motivations all those years ago, and I think I definitely understand them better than I used to. My problem _isn’t_ you. It’s me. But I’m gonna do my best to try to fix it, and to try to really trust that you’re gonna stick by me. And I mean, if our relationship doesn’t work out, that’s okay, it happens, but I believe that you won’t just ghost me at the end… right?”. Oikawa snorted and rolled his eyes. “You _moron._ How can you say that you believe it, and then ask ‘right?’ at the end? ... _Of course_ I’m not going to ghost you. I don’t care what happens, if this ends for some reason, the ending will at least make _sense_.” Oikawa paused for a moment before adding,  “And I mean, to be honest, you’re like, my best friend right now, as embarrassing as that is. So even if things go to shit, I’d still want to hang out and whatever. I don’t think that I can go back to living such a solitary life.”

Kageyama settled back against the couch, his arm pressed against Oikawa’s, and the two sat together in a comfortable silence for a few seconds before Kageyama suddenly grabbed a throw pillow and whipped it at Oikawa. As he threw it, he yelled, _“Glad to know we’re together so you’re not lonely”._ When the older man pulled the pillow off of him, he was greeted by a mischievous grin and a challenging glance from Kageyama; he jumped up, grabbed a second throw pillow, and laughed, “It’s _on,_ Tobio-chan!”

The two ran around Oikawa’s apartment like absolute idiots for almost half an hour, and when they finally collapsed in bed together, giggling and out of breath, Oikawa found himself thinking, _‘To hell with Iwa-chan’s promise. I love you, Kageyama Tobio. I really, really do.’_

 


	14. Trust, Trysts, and Tests

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama has to prepare for his chemistry exam, but Oikawa isn't too happy about his study buddy.

“So basically, now that we know the pH of _this_ sample, we can plug that into the equation _here,_ at which point we’ll be able to see just how these three are going to bond. And when you look at this over _here--_ ” “Um, shouldn’t you get that?”

In spite of Kageyama’s best efforts, both he and his lab partner, Kawanishi Taichi, were acutely aware that the blue-eyed man’s phone had been ringing almost non-stop throughout their hour-long study session. It had gotten to be so annoyingly persistent that, after a few minutes, Kageyama wound up removing his sweatshirt and wrapping the vibrating device in it before tucking the bundle into his backpack and tossing the bag on the floor. The sound was most definitely quieter than it had been initially, but if either man’s attention wavered from their work even slightly, the buzzing sound was brought immediately to the forefront of their focus once more.

\- - -

 _“How many times do I have to ask you not to hang out with that guy?”,_ Oikawa had asked exasperatedly that morning as Kageyama dressed for school. The younger man sighed and shook his head. “First off, we’re not ‘hanging out’. We’re studying for a big exam that we have today. Secondly, even if we _were_ hanging out, I’m allowed to hang out with other people! Especially since I haven’t really heard from Hinata since, well-- _you know.”_ “I don’t see why that matters”, the brunette mumbled into his pillow. Kageyama rolled his eyes as he pulled on a t-shirt. “I know _you_ don’t, but _some_ people actually, like, _enjoy_ having friends, y’know?”. Oikawa glanced over to the younger man, scowled, then buried his face in his pillow once more. “No, I _don’t.”_

“Third”, Kageyama called from the bathroom that was just off of the master bedroom, “There’s _literally_ no reason for me to _not_ hang out with him. He’s not a bad guy and, I mean, he’s from Shiritorizawa and everything-- we’ve got plenty to talk about!” “Yeah, I’m _sure”,_ Oikawa called back bitterly, the words spoken by the tall, ginger-haired man echoing inside his head until he could no longer take it.

 _‘I’ve always thought he was cute.’_  
_‘Getting to spend all this time together has made me realize… I want him.’_  
  
Oikawa rolled out of the bed and lurched towards the bathroom.

_‘... In my opinion, you don’t deserve a boyfriend as cute as him.’_

“Please”, Oikawa begged, wrapping his arms around Kageyama’s waist as the younger man brushed his teeth, “...don’t go.”

Kageyama placed one hand on top of Oikawa’s as he finished brushing his teeth, rinsing both his mouth and toothbrush before looking up at the older man in the mirror. “Oikawa-san”, Kageyama said gently, intertwining the fingers from his previously-occupied right hand with Oikawa’s, “You need to trust me. Like I’ve told you countless times at this point, I _love_ you. Nothing is going to change that. I’m not sure what you’re so anxious about, but I _promise,_ it will be okay.”

_‘I intend to take him from you.’_

Oikawa winced as these words replayed inside his head. He’d _tried_ telling Kageyama that Kawanishi liked him, but the younger man brushed him off, saying something along the lines of, “No he doesn’t”, “Not all volleyball players are gay, you know”, and “even if he did, so what? I’m in love with you”.

 _Kageyama didn’t take it seriously because Kageyama didn’t have to hear it firsthand._ Oikawa only managed to tell Kageyama of Kawanishi’s threat and intentions once before a sudden seed of fear and desperation implanted itself in the forefront of his mind. It was possible, Oikawa reasoned, that once Kageyama realized that Oikawa was telling the truth about Kawanishi, he’d take an interest in his lab partner instead. Even through Kageyama’s reassurance, Oikawa still couldn’t help but feel that the only way to prevent Kawanishi from making good on is threat was to remove him from the situation entirely.

Kageyama broke free of Oikawa’s grip as the older man wracked his thoughts for any possible way to convince the younger to stay home. Oikawa frantically grasped for Kageyama once more, but as he did he saw something truly horrifying reflected back at him in the bathroom mirror: he saw a sincere desperation splayed across his entire face, the likes of which he was completely unfamiliar with. Sure, in the past he’d had fuckbuddies make that type of face at him when he was ending things with them, but never before had he seen such a ghastly series of emotions composed of his own features.

Before he knew what had happened, he felt himself falling, landing fractions of a second later in the familiar plush of his comforter. Moments after that he felt Kageyama climb on top of him, with the younger man tucking his arms behind Oikawa’s neck.

“Oikawa”, Kageyama said as he stared worriedly at the brunette before him who seemed to be staring off into another dimension, in spite of the fact that his eyes were fixed on Kageyama the whole time. Oikawa didn’t respond. It honestly didn’t even look as if Oikawa had heard him speak. _“Oikawa”,_ Kageyama called again. Still nothing.

“...Tōru”. Kageyama could tell by the slight shift in his gaze that this magic word had brought the brunette back to reality. “...I love you. It’s okay. As soon as this semester’s done-- which, by the way, is only like three weeks from now-- I _promise_ you, all my free time will be yours.” Oikawa propped himself up on his elbows, bringing their faces mere inches from one another. “Y- you mean it?”, asked the older man, pupils contracted so they were mere flecks of black amidst the deep sea of browns and copper. Kageyama nodded, pecking Oikawa quickly before pulling back again. “Of course. I’m only doing this because I have to keep my grades up if I want to graduate next semester. Otherwise I’d be here all the time”.

Oikawa leaned up and kissed Kageyama once more. This time he kissed him deeper, longer, with as much passion as he could muster despite his pitiful state. Kageyama briefly tried protesting, muttering, “...but I’m gonna be late for school…”, through their kisses, but Oikawa refused to let him get out of this; if he was going to be leaving Oikawa _anyway,_ this was the _least_ he could do.

Soon the outfit Kageyama had just dressed himself in was strewn about the floor around Oikawa’s bed, and though the younger man was in somewhat of a hurry, Oikawa lingered at his lips, taking in everything that Kageyama had to offer.

He wanted nothing more in this moment of passion than to say _‘I love you, Tobio-chan’,_ but, even though he’d admitted the truth of his feelings to himself, he still could not bring himself to say them aloud to a sober audience. Instead he showered the younger man with compliments, moaning things like, “God, you’re so sexy”, before plunging back into their kiss with full force. Each time Kageyama would move to progress their rendezvous, Oikawa would pull back, slowing down and teasing the younger man until he couldn’t take it anymore.

“Tōru”, Kageyama gasped; he’d successfully managed to extract himself from their kiss, but Oikawa was not deterred, instead moving down and sucking on his neck. “...I need you. P- _please…”_ . Kageyama was _desperate_. Not only was Oikawa driving him crazy-- he was also very certain that he was going to be late at this point. “Mmm”, Oikawa moaned through Kageyama’s skin, the subtle vibrations sending chills up Kageyama’s spine, “Tell me what you want me to do”. Kageyama found himself suddenly short on breath, as the older man moved from spot to spot on the younger man’s skin. While he kissed and sucked on Kageyama’s neck and shoulders, his hand moved down to Kageyama’s waist, where it teased and tortured him, caressing the delicate skin on the inside of his thighs, tracing his hips, and dipping over his stomach without once so much as grazing his aching member.

“P- please”, Kageyama begged, clenching his eyes shut as he utterly failed to choose one sensation to focus on, “ _Please_ fuck me. I need you to fill me up. I think I’m going to _die_ if you’re not inside me soon!”. Oikawa was pleased. He allowed his arm to just barely skim the head of Kageyama’s cock, drawing a violent spasm from the younger man as he moaned reflexively. The brunette then leaned in, moving his lips right next to Kageyama’s ear before whispering, _“Tell me that you love me”._ He punctuated his request by wrapping his fingers around the base of Kageyama’s more-than-ready cock. The younger man shuddered under Oikawa’s touch and, as soon as Oikawa began to slowly pump his hand up and down, Kageyama cried out, “I love you, Tōru-san! I love you _so much!_ You’re amazing and I can’t believe you’re with me!”

Oikawa felt another layer add to the already deep blush painted across his face and moved between the younger man’s legs in an effort to try to escape the embarrassment that suddenly descended upon him. He found himself feeling almost guilty for receiving such a profound confession while he himself had never (to Kageyama’s knowledge) admitted his own feelings.

He quickly grabbed the lube from the bedside table, dropping a fat dot into the palm of his hand. Kageyama was practically writhing as he waited for Oikawa, desperate to feel the gloriously painful sensation of the older man entering him. Oikawa, however, was still eager to delay things as much as possible, and soon Kageyama felt the unexpected sensation of the brunette’s slippery fingers glide inside of him. Oikawa watched as Kageyama’s face flashed confusion and frustration before the younger man finally gave in and allowed himself to enjoy the sensation of being finger-fucked, running his own fingers through his dark hair which was already saturated with sweat. Each time Oikawa thrust his fingers deep inside Kageyama, the younger man rolled his hips up, desperate to take in as much of Oikawa as he possibly could.

“T- Tōru”, whined Kageyama after a few minutes, eyes clenched nearly as tightly as his jaw, “ _Please--_ **_please--_ ** _I am going to d- die--_ **_Please_ ** _fuck me”_ . Oikawa swore he even saw tears building up in the corners of the dark-haired man’s eyes as he withdrew his fingers, rubbing them instead up and down his own length in a mindless attempt to lubricate himself, even if it was only to the most minimal degree. As he moved to get protection from the end table, Kageyama’s hand caught his wrist. _“No”_ , the younger man asserted voicelessly, earning a raised eyebrow from Oikawa, “You’re clean-- it’s fine-- just-- _hurry.”_

This aggressive statement took Oikawa by surprise until he remembered that he’d shown Kageyama the results from the physical he underwent the week prior. He’d specifically requested a full sexual health panel, now that he was in a monogamous relationship once more, and was pleased to see that, despite his previous promiscuity and overall leniency when it came to protection, his results had come back clean. As he moved back towards his previous position between Kageyama’s legs, Oikawa thought to himself, _‘I_ **_did_ ** _show him the results from my physical yesterday. Who’d have guessed that_ **_this_ ** _is what he took from it?’_

After kissing the younger man once more, Oikawa quickly moved to align himself with Kageyama’s eager hole. The heat of Kageyama’s naked flesh alone sent Oikawa’s heart racing, and soon he was buried as deeply as possible inside the younger man, sweat dripping onto Kageyama’s skin as Oikawa suspended himself above him. Kageyama gripped Oikawa’s arms as if he were holding on for his life, while Oikawa began fucking him eagerly. Once he’d found a comfortable rhythm, Oikawa pulled his arm away, moving it instead between Kageyama’s legs once more, where he wrapped his fingers around the blue-eyed man’s own throbbing erection, promptly moving his hand in sync with his own thrusts.

A small smile flashed across Oikawa’s face as he watched Kageyama moan, beg, and writhe beneath him; he thought back to the beginning of their relationship, when the younger man wouldn’t let out so much as a squeak. It wasn’t until Oikawa first took Kageyama in this exact position that Kageyama finally became more vocal-- a habit that the brunette now relished.

As Oikawa’s hips sped up, so did his hand, drawing short gasps and quick whines from the man he was fucking. It wasn’t long before the imminence of Kageyama’s climax became clear, the younger man writhing and crying out in a way that suggested that he wasn’t experiencing a single thought outside of the things Oikawa was doing to him. Oikawa’s mind, on the other hand, was busy trying to think of _anything_ besides the fact that he was fucking Kageyama _directly._ There was nothing between his flesh and Kageyama’s, a thought that would ensure that he’d be finishing embarrassingly early if he didn’t manage to distract himself. He thought of anything and everything he could, but each sound that came from beneath him drew his focus back to where it wanted to be most.

“Tobio-chan”, he panted, “... _Jesus”._ He’d initially intended to say something smooth like, ‘You drive me absolutely mad’ or ‘You are so unbearably sexy’, but the words failed him. Each time he opened his mouth to verbally appreciate the unravelling younger man, he felt himself get closer and closer to the point of no return.

Without warning, Kageyama reached up and grabbed Oikawa’s neck, pulling the older man down into a deep, passionate kiss. The moment their lips met, Oikawa felt Kageyama’s fevered body go rigid, and soon splashes of white dotted the flushed abdomen beneath him. As Kageyama came, every muscle in his body seemed to contract around Oikawa’s cock, tightening the hole he was fucking to the point where he was scarcely able to move. Kageyama moaned loudly when a fire enveloped his insides, as Oikawa thrust as deeply as possible into the younger man and unloaded his seed.

The two men collapsed, a white heat blazing inside the minds of each as they tried their best to catch their breath.

When Kageyama came back to earth, the sudden realization of just how late he likely was hit him, catapulting him out of bed without warning. He dashed around the apartment on weak legs, gathering his clothes before running into the bathroom and washing up.

Oikawa wasn’t happy. He’d hoped their tryst would help Kageyama forget about his other obligations, but it was clear that this had not been the case. It was only a few minutes before a fully dressed Kageyama dashed out of the bathroom, scrambling at Oikawa’s dresser for a pair of socks.

“Relax”, the older man said as he played with his phone, glancing quickly to Kageyama before returning to his social media. _“Relax?”,_ Kageyama repeated incredulously, “I’m going to be _late._ Kawanishi and I were supposed to study, because I think I’m gonna bomb this test, and it’s the last one before finals, and--” “ _Relax”,_ Oikawa said once more, “I called a car for you. They’ll be here in like five minutes. You might even wind up getting there early, when you consider how long it normally takes you to walk from here.” The dark-haired man took a moment to process this before nodding and shutting the drawer in front of him. He sat on the edge of the bed and pulled on socks before sitting up and saying, “...thank you.” Oikawa rolled over and threw his arm into Kageyama’s lap. “You’re welcome”, he grumbled, “...though I’m still not happy that you’re going to go meet with _him.”_

Kageyama heaved a deep sigh before turning to his boyfriend. “If you’re going to be like this… I dunno, I guess you can call me once or twice before class, if you think that’ll make you feel better.” The dark-haired man was completely oblivious to the malicious smile that spread across Oikawa’s face. “...that sounds like a great idea”, the brunette grinned.

“...oh... the car’s here...”

\- - -

 

Kageyama hadn’t even gotten to the school by the time Oikawa decided to call him. Ten minutes later, just as he and his lab partner sat down at one of the few open tables in the library, his phone went off again; he quickly excused himself, answered Oikawa’s call, then returned to study. He’d hardly gotten his textbook open when his phone began buzzing again. Once more, he excused himself and took the call, noting that the gaps between calls were getting shorter and shorter. After Oikawa’s sixth call in ten minutes, Kageyama put his foot down. “I’m not answering anymore. I was trying to help you when I suggested this, but you are _literally_ making it impossible for me to study. I seriously cannot fail this test. I’ll call you when I’m done with class.”

The blue-eyed man hung up the phone then returned to the library. It was almost a whole five minutes before his phone rang again, at which point he did his best to muffle the relentless vibrating.

“Well, uh… if you’re not going to answer it, why don’t you turn your phone _off_?”, Kawanishi suggested. Kageyama looked to the friendly older man and smiled helplessly. “I don’t like shutting off my phone. I worry that something might happen and someone might need to get in contact with me and I won’t have any idea about it.” “Fair enough”, shrugged Kawanishi, “Although, they won’t be able to get through if Oikawa-san is holding up the line”. Kageyama smiled reticently and shrugged, “I guess you have a point.”

The two actually managed to get nearly an hour of study time in (despite Kageyama’s ever-vibrating phone) before they had to go to class. Kageyama excused himself briefly before the two began walking towards their classroom, stepping out of the library one last time to take his boyfriend’s call.

“Hey”, he said softly into the receiver. There was a long pause on the other end before Oikawa replied, “Hey… I thought you weren’t going to pick up”. “I wasn’t”, the younger man admitted, “but I have to go to class and take my exam now. You need to stop calling or I’m going to have to turn off my phone; this professor is a hardass when it comes to disruptions.” Kageyama was met with another pause before Oikawa sighed. “ _Fine”_ , the brunette relented, “I won’t call unless it’s literally an emergency. But you’re taking me out to dinner tonight to make up for this.” “Alright, deal”, Kageyama laughed. The line was silent for a moment before he added, “...I miss you.” He could hear Oikawa’s breath catch in response, a fact that Oikawa quickly tried to cover by clearing his throat. “Ahem— I— I missyoutoo. But— uh— don’t get too used to this, you know? I go back to work tomorrow, so we won’t be able to spend all this time together.” “Yeah”, Kageyama smiled sadly, “Until summer comes.” Kageyama heard Oikawa laugh, and knew just by the inflection that the older man was about to tease him. “Well, yeah, I will be off, but, who says I’m gonna spend my summer vacation with _you_? Personally, I was thinking about globetrotting this summer.” “You jerk”, Kageyama laughed, as he heard the library door open and fall shut behind him, “I gotta run, I’ll talk to you later.”

Kageyama closed his phone and tucked it away in his bag before turning around. “Sorry about that”, he smiled to the man who had just exited the library, “I just had to ask him to stop calling.” “No problem”, laughed Kawanishi, “You ready for this test?” “As ready as I’m going to be, I guess”.

The walk from the library to the science building took about eight minutes, and the two walked it together just exchanging basic notes and formulas that they thought might be important on their upcoming exam. When the science building was in sight, Kawanishi turned to Kageyama. “Hey, can I ask you a question that might be, I dunno, rude of me to ask?” Kageyama raised an eyebrow and nodded, “Sure, what’s up?” “I’ve just been dying of curiosity since the other day… what’s it like, dating the almighty Oikawa Tōru?”

Kageyama thought about this for a long moment before he began speaking. “Dating Oikawa is a cross between babysitting a headstrong toddler, hanging out with a brother, and meeting a celebrity.” Kawanishi cocked his head. “That is… quite the description. Can I ask what you mean by that?”

Kageyama laughed. “Well, he gets in these moods when he can’t get what he wants, and is just honestly a handful. I feel like half the time I’m with him I’m just making sure that he’s fed and clothed.” “So— watching a toddler?” “Yes, exactly. But then, he’s also really cool. I’ve always looked up to him, and hanging out with him can be a lot of fun. He often tries to be helpful or give good advice, but at the same time a lot of what he says feels like a joke anyway.” “That’s where the brother thing comes in, I guess?”, asked Kawanishi, and again he was met with a nod. “And then… well, this is embarrassing, but like… I’ve always had a really big crush on him, so the thought that he’s _actually_ dating me still kinda blows my mind. Wherever we go, people are always staring at him, and there’s just a part of me that can’t believe that he and I are _actually_ together— I feel like he’s so out of my league it isn’t even funny. Oh— and yes, that’s the celebrity part.”

Kawanishi thought on this for a moment before finally shrugging. “I’m sorry if this is offensive or anything, but I always thought that Oikawa’s appearance was overhyped. Like I said, Wakatoshi was like, _obsessed_ with Oikawa, so whenever he was featured in magazines and papers and stuff, we’d have to see it. The articles always featured tons of pictures of him and it was almost like the reporters were gushing over him. Whenever ‘Toshi was in an article, there’d be one action shot of him and then just frank evaluations of his performance and speculation about his future career in volleyball. I dunno. I just feel like they focused more on Oikawa’s appearance every time, rather than his adequate playing style.” “Adequate?’, Kageyama scoffed, “For me, Oikawa was the best. I learned everything I know from watching him play.” “Eh”, Kawanishi shrugged, “He’s _okay._ But if he was ‘the best’, we wouldn’t have destroyed their team so easily each time we faced them.” This statement made Kageyama unreasonably sad. When he was in high school, he absolutely hated losing— everyone did. But the idea of Oikawa— the boy who hated losing more than anyone else did— losing repeatedly to Shiritorizawa was almost more than he could handle. He could very clearly picture the devastation on his senpai’s face when their team just couldn’t pull through. It was ages ago at this point, but for some reason it was still heartbreaking to him.

“Sorry”, Kawanishi said, pulling Kageyama back out of his thoughts, “got a little off topic there. Um… if you don’t mind my saying this, I _don’t_ think you should be self-conscious about being with someone like Oikawa. In my objective opinion, you’re at _least_ as attractive as he is. Speaking subjectively, though, I think Oikawa should consider himself lucky to have landed someone like you.” After a brief pause, Kageyama couldn’t help but laugh. “That’s really nice of you, but you really don’t have to reassure me”, he said, smiling broadly at his peer, “I know Oikawa is way out of my league. I met a lot of people that he’s gone out with and they’re all just... unreasonably attractive. I’m average at best. But”, he continued, as Kawanishi tried to interject with his own disagreement, “—he likes me, for some reason. I’m the first person he’s been in an actual relationship with since high school.” Kawanishi cocked his head and asked, “Wait… I thought you just said you met some of his exes?” Kageyama felt a light dusting of blush cross his face. “Oh, um— they were ex-flings, or something like that.” Kawanishi snickered, then said, “Oh, okay— yeah, that sounds more like the Oikawa I’ve heard all about.”

Before Kageyama could ask what he meant, the two stepped into their chemistry classroom. “Good luck!”, Kawanishi cheered as he headed in the opposite direction towards his own seat. “You too!”, Kageyama waved, as he walked off towards the back of the class where he always sat.

Kawanishi’s last statement of their conversation sat strangely with Kageyama. _‘That sounds more like the Oikawa I’ve heard all about.’ ‘What did he mean by that?’,_ the blue-eyed man had to wonder, as he sat back and waited for the rest of the class to filter in so that the exam may begin.

He wasn’t looking forward to this test. He was never any good at anything that required formulas and exponents and letters instead of numbers. But, if nothing else, at the end of this road was Oikawa, waiting for Kageyama to take him out to dinner-- a thought which both relieved and relaxed him, despite the massive packet of papers that was placed in front of him.

He could do this.

He just had to get through this test and he’d be with Oikawa once more.


	15. Over a Glass of Wine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama fulfills his promise in taking Oikawa out to dinner.

“So how do you think you did on your test?”

This question caught Kageyama by surprise; it was not like Oikawa to show any interest at all in the younger man’s schooling, outside of his general disdain for anything other than himself that occupied Kageyama’s attention. He studied Oikawa’s face but detected no hidden motives as the brunette mindlessly sipped his chardonnay. “...what?”, Oikawa asked defensively with a sudden frown, gently returning the glass to its previous resting place atop the white tablecloth.

“Oh, uh”, started Kageyama, averting his gaze as he spoke, “it’s nothing, really. Just… I never thought you, well… _cared_ about my academics.” The brunette raised an eyebrow. “What ever gave you that idea, Tobio-chan?”, Oikawa asked with genuine curiosity dancing in his eyes. Kageyama rubbed the back of his head, unsure if he should go on or just shut his mouth before he offended Oikawa once again. “Well… you’re always trying to convince me to miss class, and you worked so hard on interrupting my studying this morning that I actually had to threaten to turn off my phone…”. Oikawa rolled his eyes. “Tobio-chan”, he said, leaning forward as he spoke, “has anyone ever told you that you’re an idiot?’’. Kageyama snorted. “You have. Countless times.” “Oh wow”, Oikawa exclaimed in mock wonderment, “I’m amazed that you remember!” Kageyama glared across the table before grabbing his glass of water; Oikawa had tried to convince him to get wine as well but, as the younger man patiently reminded his boyfriend, he had an early class the next morning.

“Of _course_ I care about your schooling, Tobio-chan. I just care about you spending time with me more. But if you won’t stop going to classes to spend time with me, I might as well know how those classes are going, don’t you think?”. Kageyama frowned deeply before sighing. “I don’t know how I did on this test, to be honest. I studied really hard, and I’m pretty sure I at least _passed_ it, but I can’t really say more than that.” “Hm”, Oikawa hummed over the rim of his glass, “I suppose all that studying with Kawa-what’s-his-name was for naught, huh?”. _‘The name’s Kawanishi. Remember it.’_ The scene from the night they met echoed in Oikawa’s mind, over and over again. He didn’t _want_ to remember that _nobody_ ’s name. He didn’t want to acknowledge his existence. But still his words replayed on and on inside Oikawa’s head, unnerving the brunette in a way he was not at all familiar with.

“It’s Kawa _nishi_ ”, reprimanded Kageyama softly as the food they’d order nearly half an hour earlier was placed in front of each man, “and, yes, it actually did help. He taught me some cool tricks to help me remember some of the formulas and equations and whatever.” Oikawa frowned as he set about carefully slicing his steak. “...You know I’m a college graduate, right? I can help you when you need help.” "...yeah, and you'll just make fun of me for all the stuff I don't know", Kageyama sighed. The older man shook his head. "I won't. I promise."

As Kageyama chewed over his first bite, he frowned once more and, upon swallowing, said, “But, you’re a History major. How is that gonna help me in chemistry?”. Oikawa tilted his head back and stared at the ceiling in frustration; had he not _just_ promised that he wouldn’t insult the blue-eyed man, he’d be having a field day. He slowly lowered his head once more, and, pinching the bridge of his nose, sighed, “Tobio-chan. Are _you_ a chemistry major?” “What?”, asked the younger man, totally bewildered, “No, you _know_ that I’m not.” “Right. Are you a science major at all?”, Oikawa continued, reaching for his glass before the dark-haired man could answer with confusion once more. “You _know_ I’m a sports journalism major, right?”, asked Kageyama, in a tone that Oikawa found to be quite offensive-- a tone that suggested that the younger man thought that Oikawa himself was the idiot in this conversation. “Yes”, Oikawa said, motioning his request for a refill to his waiter, “I know that you’re a sports journalism major. So, if you are going to try to be a sports writer when you graduate, why are you taking a chemistry class?”. “Because it’s a core class that I’m required to take”, Kageyama replied, picking up another scoop of salmon as he spoke. “Right”, nodded Oikawa patiently, “it’s a part of the _core curriculum._ The core curriculum is what _every student_ needs to take, regardless of their major. Chemistry is one of those classes. I went to the same school that you’re at now, ergo, _I also took chemistry._ ” Were they not in public, Oikawa would’ve reached across the table and shaken the younger man until he understood. As it was, it was still an uncomfortably long time before the lights went on in Kageyama’s head. “...oh”, he said sheepishly, ushering another forkful of food into his mouth.

Oikawa abandoned the conversation. He was going to reiterate that he could help Kageyama with any studying or homework needed, but the sudden image of the two of them replaying the same conversation over and over into infinity hit him, and he found that he’d exhausted all of his patience with what little they’d spoken already.

There was a long pause before Kageyama spoke again. “S- so, you go back to work again tomorrow”, the younger man half-asked, half-stated nervously. Oikawa nodded and, again, reached for his glass. _“Ugh,_ don’t remind me _”,_ the brunette lamented, “I’m gonna have _so much_ to do. I just hope they gave me a competent sub. If my entire lesson plan is set back by a week because of this ‘award’, I swear, I’m gonna lose my shit.” Across the table, Kageyama giggled. “What?!”, snapped the older man, reluctantly setting his glass down once more. “Nothing, nothing”, Kageyama said, trying to restrain his smile, “it’s just-- you actually _sound_ like a teacher.” Oikawa stared blankly at his boyfriend. “I actually _am_ a teacher, you know”, he finally said, as he struggled to resist downing his third glass of wine that night. Kageyama nodded, chewing and swallowing before speaking once more, “I know, but-- normally you just sound like yourself speaking. Right now you actually sound like _Mr. Oikawa_ ”. Kageyama punctuated his statement with another fanciful giggle, which melted Oikawa’s heart a little bit; he had a hard time staying mad when his boyfriend was so cute. After a quick moment of contentment, another thought flashed through Oikawa’s mind.

“I guess that’s the end of our week of spending every minute together”, Oikawa frowned, rolling a baby potato across his plate as his appetite waned. He was completely surprised when a warm hand grasped his; Kageyama was not generally an affectionate person to begin with, but he practically _never_ instigated public displays of affection. “It’s okay”, the blue-eyed man smiled softly, “The school year’s almost over, and then we can spend all the time we want together.”

Oikawa’s heart stopped. How was it that Kageyama was always able to get to him like this?

On impulse, Oikawa suddenly blurted out, “What do you think about moving in together?”. The words hung heavy in the air, both men completely shocked that they were even spoken in the first place. Kageyama knew that it was his responsibility to answer Oikawa, particularly being that the question was directed at him, but he had so many simultaneous thoughts on the matter that he wasn’t sure where to begin. It was only once the older man began backpedaling that Kageyama quickly intervened.

“S- sorry”, he blushed, “that was just pretty sudden. Especially since we’ve only been dating for a couple of months. Well-- we’ve only officially been dating for a few days, actually.” Oikawa frowned. “W- well, the last few months could be considered _dating,_ right? We were going on dates and stuff. We just didn’t use a label. And-- I mean-- sure, we’ve only been together for this long, but we’ve _known_ each other for like a decade, and--” _‘Wait.’,_ Oikawa thought to himself, _‘Why am I defending this crazy idea? I didn’t ask because it’s what I want. I asked because… … … well, I don’t know why I asked. It just came out.’_

Kageyama laughed and squeezed Oikawa’s hand gently. “I’m not saying no, you know. I’m just saying, we should probably think this over a bit. I mean, are you really ready to give up all that luxurious space you have?”. “Give up?”, asked Oikawa, tilting his head slightly. “Well, yeah. If we moved in together it’d have to be somewhere kindof cheap, because I couldn’t afford to live where you live now, and I’m sure you don’t _want_ to live where I live now, and--” “Tobio-chan”, Oikawa interrupted, “I _own_ the condo I live in.” “.....condo?”, Kageyama repeated, unsure he was hearing his partner correctly. Oikawa withdrew his hand and continued eating. “Yes. I live in a condominium. I bought it with inheritance a few months after I moved up here. I don’t pay rent-- just utilities, just like you. If we moved in together, I think it would just make more sense for you to move in with me, right?”. Kageyama was dumbfounded; how had he not known this little fact before?

“B- but, are you prepared to deal with someone as messy as I am?”, asked the younger man as he stared fixedly at his food. He couldn’t help the shade of red his cheeks were turning, just as he could not believe the conversation they were having. “I already _do_ deal with someone as messy as you are:”, Oikawa said, leaning forward and playfully whispering, _“it’s you.”_ The older man leaned back in his chair and appraised the younger man.

“I honestly don’t know what came over me, Tobio-chan. The suggestion just made itself. We definitely don’t have to--” “No”, interrupted Kageyama. Oikawa could see that he was quivering slightly as he forced himself to raise his gaze to meet that of the brunette’s. “No-- don’t take it back. I… I think it’s a good idea. Maybe not _right now,_ but if things keep going this well, I definitely, _definitely_ want to move in with you.”

Oikawa felt his own cheeks flush. Kageyama’s answer was sensible yet passionate, and, like most of the ways Kageyama expressed his love, managed to get under Oikawa’s skin immediately, burning his flesh as it coursed through his body. The brunette was rendered speechless, and it was only after the two had consummated their love that evening that Oikawa found his words once more.

“Tobio-chan”, the older man whispered, playing with the locks of jet-black hair that splayed across his chest, as Kageyama lay on his shoulder, “...since we’re in the business of making grand plans for the future tonight… do you want to go away with me this summer?”.

 


	16. Domestic Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama's final is today.

“Remember, Tōru, we have that thing we have to do tonight”, came a seemingly disembodied voice from deep inside Oikawa Tōru’s bed as the brunette dressed for work early one Wednesday morning. “Thing?”, Oikawa repeated as he buttoned up his shirt, “What _thing?”._ Kageyama sighed before sticking his head out of the pile of blankets. “You know, that _thing”,_ he asserted, despite the fact that he’d given his boyfriend no extra clarity as to what he was referring, “...after my final my whole class is getting together for drinks and stuff.” Oikawa raised an eyebrow at the younger man before returning to the task at hand. “I have no idea what you’re talking about”, he stated matter-of-factly, though both men knew this was a blatant lie. Again another sigh came from the bed. “You do _too_ ”, frowned Kageyama, “I told you about it the day I found out, like, a few weeks ago. In fact, the only reason I’m even telling you this now is because you demanded to come.” “Well, _yeah_ ”, Oikawa interjected, “if _he’s_ gonna be there, I am too.” “...Tōru, do you have a crush on Kawanishi?”

Oikawa shot a death glare back to the bed. “ **NO,** I do not. In fact, the way I feel for him is the exact opposite of a crush. I get a boner every time I think about never seeing him again.” Kageyama giggled from inside his haven deep within the comforter and Oikawa scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Alright, _fine._ What time do I have to be there again?”, he asked as he walked off towards the bathroom. “Well, everyone’s gonna go over as soon as they finish their exams. I usually take my time during tests, so I’ll probably be one of the later people there, but the final only runs until 7:10, so I definitely won’t be much later than that.” Oikawa whined wordlessly as he brushed his teeth. A minute later he popped his head into the bedroom. “I just don’t understand _why_ you want to go in the first place. Can’t we just stay home?”, he complained before ducking back into the bathroom, where he began the arduous task of making his hair look effortlessly messed. “You know _exactly_ why we’re going, you butt. I don’t want to go either, but-- you’ve said it yourself-- networking is important, and I’ll definitely stand out in a bad way if I’m the only one who doesn’t show up.” A loud groan came from the bathroom, followed shortly by the brunette.

“Fine, I get it, whatever. I gotta run. I’m gonna be late if I don’t get out of here soon”, Oikawa said, fluffing his hair one more time before approaching the bed. “Have a good day”, grinned Kageyama as he stuck his face out from the blankets once more. Oikawa bent down and kissed the dark-haired man. “You’re too cute, Tobio-chan, you know that?”, he smiled as he rustled the dark hair beneath him, “Having you here makes it impossible for me to actually _want_ to go to work.” “Go”, laughed Kageyama, “Your students need you.” Oikawa stuck out his tongue before walking over to the bedroom door. “Good luck on your final, Tobio-chan. I’ll see you later.” With that, the handsome brunette was gone.

Kageyama stretched his naked body, relishing the sensation of Oikawa’s fancy 700-thread count satin sheets rubbing against his skin. He wasn’t particularly ready to get up, even if he knew he should get some extra studying in. Today was his fourth final of the semester, and thankfully his last. That was partially why he was allowing himself to go out and celebrate with his peers-- it wasn’t that he had a particular interest in socializing, but Kawanishi had talked him into going when one of the more chatty girls in the class announced the outing. He and Kawanishi had become quite friendly over the previous few weeks-- a fact that Oikawa was not happy with. But Kageyama didn’t really understand what Oikawa was so worked up over. Contrary to the brunette’s accusations, Kawanishi hadn’t said or done _anything_ to indicate a less-than-chaste interest in Kageyama. Kageyama was also not interested in the auburn-haired man like that, either, as he found himself falling deeper and deeper for Oikawa with each passing day.

In fact…

Kageyama sat up and looked around briefly. He was laying in Oikawa’s bed, in Oikawa’s bedroom, in Oikawa’s apartment… while Oikawa himself was off at work. More or less from the beginning of their relationship, Kageyama was free to come and go from Oikawa’s place as he pleased, and Oikawa was welcome to do the same at Kageyama’s. It was hard to believe that they’d only been together for (nearly) three months; their very existences were already so interwoven that life without Oikawa seemed impossible. _‘Moving in together, huh?’,_ the blue-eyed man thought to himself, _‘...why not? What have i got to lose?’ ‘Your dignity’,_ called out a second voice from the back of his mind, _‘and your safe haven, should things go horribly wrong.’ ‘Things won’t go horribly wrong’,_ Kageyama argued back, _‘he’s changed.’ ‘Uh-uh’,_ the voice taunted, _‘he_ **_says_ ** _he’s changed. He hasn’t even said he loves me.’_ Kageyama thought on this for a moment. _‘Hasn’t he?’,_ he asked himself _, ‘...I guess not. But I would argue that he shows it in his actions rather than his words. He always wants me around— I think that’s why he asked me to move in in the first place. He took me to his work gala and constantly takes me on fancy dates. And he’s always there for me, whether i want him or not.’_

During this internal debate, Kageyama had managed to get up, shower, get dressed, and brush his teeth. Upon emerging from the bathroom, he thought again to himself, _‘Moving in? It wouldn’t even be that different from how things are now…’._ A strange impulse crossed his mind, and soon he was out in the kitchen, shaking Alexander’s snack box vigorously, until the white furball appeared. He gave a small treat to the feline before picking him up and cradling him like a baby— something Alexander only sometimes tolerated of Kageyama, and, much to Oikawa’s despair, almost never tolerated of his owner. Kageyama rubbed under the kitty’s chin with his left hand, earning an appreciative purr in response. “What do you think, Alex… Do you want a new daddy?”, Kageyama asked, smiling softly as his cheeks flushed over such an embarrassing question (particularly when poised at a cat).

“What kind of nonsense are you spewing?”

Kageyama almost dropped Alexander as he jumped in fright and shock. He knew he was being silly when he decided to talk to the cat, but to be honest, he had not expected a response. Looking up, the blue eyed man now noticed Oikawa seated across the loft with a newspaper in hand; Kageyama was mortified and would’ve liked nothing more than to disappear into the floorboards. Oikawa folded his paper in half, setting it on the cushion beside him before standing up and walking over to the other two beings in his apartment. It seemed as though Alexander could sense the impending awkwardness, suddenly bounding out of Kageyama’s arms as if it were a rottweiler approaching them instead of his owner. Oikawa leveled his gaze with the younger man, looking back and forth between Kageyama’s bright blue eyes before finally asking, “...Tobio-chan… are you planning on kidnapping my cat?”

Kageyama’s face burnt red as he tried his best to make sense of what was happening. Ultimately failing, he stammered, “O-- Oikawa-san? What are you doing here?”. The brunette frowned and folded his arms. “I _thought_ it was too good to be true”, the older man pouted. A look of confusion spread across Kageyama’s face, prompting Oikawa to continue after a quick sigh. “ _One little surprise_ was all it took, and you’re back to calling me ‘Oikawa-san’. And here I thought we made some real progress…”. It took Kageyama longer than it should’ve to realize that the brunette was teasing him. With a scrunch of his nose, the younger man repeated, “ _What are you doing here?_ ”. “Mm?”, asked Oikawa, tilting his head slightly to the side, “You’re asking what I’m doing in my own home?”. “You _know_ what I’m asking. Aren’t you supposed to be at work?”, Kageyama frowned. “Oh, _that”,_ Oikawa replied, rolling his eyes before stepping towards his boyfriend, “I forgot we have standardized testing today. I don’t need to proctor until third period.” As he spoke, Oikawa slipped his arms around Kageyama’s waist, plunging his fingers beneath the hem of his lover’s shirt. Kageyama’s arms remained in place at his side, and though a second wave of flush was taking over his cheeks, his frown remained. “So why didn’t you tell me you were home?”, the younger man scowled as he did his best to resist Oikawa’s advances. Oikawa buried his face in Kageyama’s neck, breathing in his scent before closing his lips over a small, soft swatch of skin and drawing a deep shudder from the blue-eyed man. Still Kageyama resisted, his fists balled as he held back with everything he had from reciprocating Oikawa’s sensual touch.

It took a great deal of effort, but eventually Kageyama was able to choke out, “Why didn’t you let me know you were home?”, through gritted teeth. At this, Oikawa pulled back and, cupping Kageyama’s cheeks in his hands, looked deeply into the younger man’s eyes. With an exaggerated pout and a mocking tone, Oikawa asked, “Aww, is wittle Tobio-chan upset that Tōru caught him doing something so embarrassing?”. Kageyama’s cheeks burnt red. “I-- I wasn’t--!”, he yelled, his mind fumbling as he searched for anything he could possibly say to justify his behavior, “That was a _private_ conversation between me and Alexander!”. Oikawa’s heart absolutely melted at this proclamation, and the older man was left speechless, giddily gaping at the man whose face he held in his hands. “Oh?”, he asked, positively beaming as he let go of Kageyama’s cheeks, moving his hands instead back to where they had been, gripping the younger man’s hips. “And what was so important that you had to talk to _Alexander_ about, and not Alexander’s owner?”, Oikawa hummed, unable to tear his eyes away from Kageyama’s preciously embarrassed face. “It-- it’s nothing”, the younger man managed to mumble, casting his gaze to the floor.

Oikawa quickly glanced to the clock above his stove before turning his attention back to Kageyama. “I have like forty five minutes before I have to leave”, he smiled, “Why don’t we go back to bed and you can tell me all about the conversation you wanted to have with my cat?”. Kageyama shook his head and gently pushed Oikawa’s hands away. “I have to study”, he said, face still practically fluorescent with flush, “...my final’s in a few hours.” The older man replaced his hands on Kageyama’s hips, gripping him a little tighter as his smile turned into a devilish grin, “I’ll help you study.” “How?”, Kageyama asked skeptically, and, with a raise of a single eyebrow, Oikawa replied, “I’ll _drill_ the information into you.”

Kageyama sighed. It was practically hopeless to try to resist Oikawa when he was in one of _these_ moods. “Please don’t make terrible puns like that”, the younger man frowned, before turning and heading back towards Oikawa’s room.

\---

“How do you think you did?”, asked Kawanishi as he and Kageyama left the college campus after their final exam. The shorter man lulled his head. “Eh”, he frowned, “I’m pretty sure I passed it but… I honestly probably didn’t even manage a B.” “That sucks, man”, Kawanishi said, sympathetically patting Kageyama on the shoulder. Kageyama nodded. “I just wish I had more time to study”, he lamented, adjusting his messenger bag over his shoulder. The older man raised an eyebrow. _“More_ time?”, he asked, “I thought you said that this was your only final this week?”. Kageyama glanced to his companion before nodding once more. “It was. I got really lucky with the way my finals were spaced out this semester. The easy stuff was first, so it left me a lot of time to try to prepare for chemistry and calc.” “So then, why did you just say you wished you had more time to study? Haven’t you been studying since your last final?” Again Kageyama nodded. “I’ve been studying as best I can. I mean, I still had work, and then it’s _literally_ impossible to study when Oikawa is home…” “‘Home’?”, the auburn-haired man repeated, “I thought you had your own place?”. Yet again Kageyama nodded. “I do. We just tend to spend a lot of time together. The only day I really get any peace is Thursdays, since he has to work late.” Kawanishi nodded in understanding.

“Well”, he started after a brief pause as the two continued down the street, “if you ever need some peace and quiet, you’re welcome at my place. I mean, I have a roommate, but she already went home for the summer. Even when she’s there, though, she almost never leaves her room, so… it’s a peaceful little apartment.” Kageyama grinned up at the taller man and asked, _“Roommate_ , huh?”. “Huh? ...Oh. _OH.”_ It took Kawanishi a moment to get what Kageyama was inferring, but as soon as he did he laughed nervously, “I’m sorry if I didn’t make this clear before, but I… I’m not _into_ girls. So-- yes-- she’s just my roommate.” Kageyama felt his face flush; how could he, of all people, have made such an incorrect assumption? “Oh, I’m sorry, I had no idea”, he frowned, earning a sympathetic smile from his companion. “No, don’t be!”, Kawanishi laughed, “It’s totally fine. Basically what I’ve realized is that, with volleyball players, unless someone outright states that they’re straight, they’re probably at least a little gay.” Kageyama snorted at this thought. It seemed to ring true, Kageyama realized, as he reflected on all of his former teammates. The vast majority of his friends from Karasuno had come out as gay over the years, with many of them eventually dating each other. In fact, the only person that came to mind as being heterosexual when Kageyama thought back on it was Tanaka. His mind wandered to other teams, and it seemed that every person he could think of was gay. Kuroo. Kenma. Lev. Bokuto. Akaashi. Ushijima. ...Oikawa _(obviously)... …_...Iwaizumi.

“Man, I can’t believe Oikawa gives you such a hard time about studying!”, Kawanishi exclaimed as the two neared their destination. “Eh”, shrugged Kageyama, “I don’t think he does it on purpose. He can just be a little needy sometimes.” “Enough to impact your studies, though? I don’t know man”, the auburn-haired man frowned, “If _I_ had a boyfriend who was in college, I’d do whatever it took to help him. I feel like it’s really unfair to interfere in someone else’s studies. It’s like, they’re making you choose between them and your future.” Kageyama shrugged and laughed, “Yeah, I guess it can get a little obnoxious.”

Their conversation was put on hold as both men entered the bar that they’d been invited to. Much to their surprise, the bar was populated entirely by the people from their chemistry classes-- including their surly professor. As soon as they entered, a guy that Kageyama didn’t recognize came up to the pair and, offering a fist bump to both men, exclaimed, “Woah! I didn’t think you guys were gonna come! Awesome! Come on, I’ll buy you both a beer!”. With a shrug and a smile, Kageyama and Kawanishi headed over to their bar to order their drinks and kick off their night of socialization.


	17. Round Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa joins his boyfriend's post-exam celebration.

Oikawa wasn’t happy. Of all the things he could possibly be doing on a Wednesday night, going to a bar with all of Kageyama’s classmates was among the least appealing prospects. And yet, there he was, walking down 2nd Avenue towards the venue that Kageyama had specified. He didn’t _want_ to go. He didn’t _want_ to meet Kageyama’s stupid friends. And he _especially_ didn’t want to see Kawanishi again. But… he also knew how vulnerable Kageyama got when he drank. It was a fact he knew very, very well, especially considering that it was how their own relationship started. He didn’t even want to _think_ about what could happen if that punk from Shiratorizawa got Kageyama sufficiently drunk…

A small shudder ran up his spine, but he did his best to shake it off and keep walking. _‘Kageyama loves me’,_ he thought to himself, _‘and I love him. He wouldn’t betray me. He wouldn’t. He wouldn’t…’._ A small piece deep down inside of him knew that if he truly believed that, he wouldn’t be headed to the bar on that evening.

His heart sank moments after he stepped through the front door. As usual, heads turned the second he entered the bar, but Oikawa was too preoccupied to even notice the attention he was getting. His eyes scanned the establishment, desperate to make contact with the bright blue irises he had come to know so well. Instead he saw the exact opposite of what he’d hoped to see; from where he stood, he could see the back of Kageyama’s head seated at the bar next to what he could only assume was the back of Kawanishi’s head. Women immediately began to approach Oikawa, but he quickly excused himself, weaving his way through the crowd in a desperate attempt to hamper (what he was sure would be) Kawanishi’s advances. As he neared, though, he began to be able to hear their conversation from a fair distance; he slowed his approach, choosing instead to eavesdrop while he remained unnoticed.

“Ugh, this is so _lame_ ”, Kawanishi lamented, swirling his beer glass in a way that one would normally do with wine. _(It made Oikawa sick. ‘I mean, if you’re going to be pretentious, at least do it right!’, is what he thought as he watched with a look of abject disgust splayed across his face.)_ Kawanishi turned on his stool to face Kageyama and leaned close to the younger man; if he’d leaned any closer, Oikawa would’ve leapt the small distance between them to intervene. “What do you say”, he said in a voice still loud enough that Oikawa was able to hear, “we get out of here?”. Oikawa immediately took a step toward the two, but stopped himself; for better or worse, he needed to know what Kageyama’s answer would be.

As the younger man turned to face Kawanishi, Oikawa could tell that he was already pretty drunk just based off of his pallor. His cheeks were rosy and his eyes glistened in the light, while his posture was much more relaxed than it normally would be in such a crowded place. Before Kageyama could reply, Kawanishi continued, “We could go play some volleyball or something, like old times.” A strange smile crossed Kageyama’s face as he looked down into his mostly-empty glass. When he looked up his smile broadened and he said, “There’s honestly nothing I’d like more”. Oikawa felt his heart in his throat. He wasn’t sure how he was going to make it without throwing up or punching Kawanishi in the face. Maybe both. “...but, I’m afraid I can’t play volleyball anymore.” “Oh?”, Kawanishi asked, true surprise painted on his face. Kageyama nodded sadly then turned back to his drink. “When I was in my third year of high school, I took a particularly stupid risk and dived to try to save a ball that would’ve otherwise been out. It wasn’t a match point or anything. Just my stupid pride taking over. And, well, I fractured my wrist in three different places. They wanted to do surgery, but my mom was scared… it healed and everything, but I was never able to set again after that. I mean, not for lack of trying or anything. I tried my heart out. But in the end, it just wasn’t meant to be.”

Oikawa was no longer paying attention to the other man at the bar; he had just eavesdropped on one hell of a conversation and he was reeling. _‘So that’s why he didn’t move on to professional volleyball’,_ he thought, a cold sweat descending on him despite how stuffy the crowded bar was, _‘...and that’s ‘the accident’ that Chibi-chan kept referring to. Tobio…’_. He looked back up and saw Kawanishi patting Kageyama’s shoulder. On the outside it appeared to be a chaste gesture of sympathy, but Oikawa knew better. His chest swelled with rage, but before he could act on it the auburn-haired man spoke once again. “Well, do you wanna just… get out of here? We could get some food, or hang out at my place, or…” Kageyama smiled politely at Kawanishi. “I’m sorry, but I actually wound up inviting Oikawa. He should be here momentarily…”. Kageyama suddenly swiveled on his stool, searching the crowd for a familiar face.

Oikawa’s heart practically stopped when their eyes met.

A brilliant smile replaced the previously wistful expression that Kageyama had been wearing, as the younger man hopped off of his stool and waved to Oikawa. “Oikawa-san!”, Kageyama shouted, grinning broadly as he yelled. Oikawa lurched forward, suddenly forgetting how the human body was supposed to function in his eagerness to meet with his boyfriend. Kageyama met him halfway, kissing him lightly before taking Oikawa’s hand and leading him back to where they were seated.

“Tōru!”, Kageyama beamed, “Sit with us! Get a drink! It’s on me!”. Oikawa climbed onto a sticky stool, clearly appalled by the textures and sensations he was experiencing. “You can’t afford that”, Oikawa said disdainfully. The brunette waved down a bartender who, despite the hectic crowd, came over immediately. He slid a credit card across the table and said (yelled), “Take everything from his tab and put it on mine! Oh-- and I’ll have whatever your featured craft on tap is!”. Kageyama simpered before turning back to Kawanishi. “So anyway, where were we?”, he asked the older man. The two chatted for a few minutes before Kageyama turned back to Oikawa, whose hand he still had a firm grip on.

“Hey!”, he yelled, “Why don’t we move to a table? It’s a little loud here! I bet you can’t even hear a word Kawanishi is saying!”. “I prefer it that way!”, Oikawa yelled back, most definitely loud enough for Kawanishi to hear, earning a deep frown from his lover. Kageyama leaned in and, pressing his lips against Oikawa’s ear, hummed, _“Don’t be like that. Let’s just have a good night. I’ll make it up to you later.”_ “Yeah, I doubt it”, Oikawa grunted, hopping down off of the stool while still holding onto Kageyama’s hand.

Together the trio made their way to a secluded table in a corner of the bar, where it was much easier to hear each other speak. A slight awkwardness hung in the air while each of the three men tried to think of what to say.

“So, Tobio-kun”, Oikawa started after a long sip of his beer, “How was your exam?”. “Um, it was okay”, the blue-eyed man said nervously, “I definitely passed, but I probably didn’t get an amazing grade…”. His voice trailed off at the end, and it was clear that he was at the very least disappointed in himself. Oikawa frowned and put his hand on his boyfriend’s knee. “Well, I’m sure you tried your best”, he smiled reassuringly, “I mean, you spent _all that time_ studying. You’re probably just being too hard on yourself.” Across the table, Kawanishi folded his arms and frowned. “He probably would’ve done better if he’d gotten more time to study, instead of having to entertain others.” Oikawa shot a death glare across the table. “And just what is _that_ supposed to mean?”, the brunette asked incredulously. Kawanishi shrugged. “I’m just saying. If the study sessions we’ve had together are any indication of his life at home, I can’t _imagine_ how Kageyama got any time to study at all.” “There are more important things in this world than making dean’s list on a core class”, Oikawa said, taking another swig of his beer. Normally he’d be savoring the taste of the seasonal wheat ale he’d been given, but something about his company was making him want to down his drink as quickly as he could.

Kawanishi reached for his own beer-- a bottle of a generic brand-- and laughing disdainfully, said, “ _Wow._ Like, I was sure you thought that way, but I never imagined that you’d have the gall to come out and directly say that you think you’re more important than Kageyama’s studies.” Kageyama began to protest, only to have Oikawa talk over him. “I _didn’t_ say that _I’m_ more important than his studies. But a line has to be drawn somewhere-- you can’t expect him to spend all of his time studying for a class he can’t stand without having any sort of fun or joy in his life.” “That’s your _job_ when you’re a full time student-- you’re supposed to study your ass off. You’re just shamelessly interfering with Kageyama’s _work_ .” “Guys…”, the blue eyed man started, only to be cut off by Oikawa’s haughty laughter. “Wait, wait… _You_ want to talk about _shamelessly interfering?!_ Give me a break! I--”. This time Oikawa was interrupted by someone other than Kageyama; as the two men argued, they’d failed to notice the small group that had gathered near their table.

“Hey Kageyama, hey Kawanishi”, smiled the girl who’d worked up the courage to approach the table, “Um… who’s your friend?”. She was a reasonably pretty girl, though Kageyama couldn’t say that he knew who she was or why she knew his name. He glanced to Oikawa, who, despite the conversation he’d _just_ been having, had a charming smile plastered across his face. “Oh, um”, the blue-eyed man started nervously, “this is…” “I’m Kageyama’s boyfriend”, Oikawa smiled, moving his hand from Kageyama’s knee to around his shoulder, “The name’s Oikawa Tōru! Pleased to meet you!”. Kageyama’s apparent classmate was taken aback by this sudden announcement, but smiled pleasantly. “Oh, wow, great to meet you as well!”, she smiled, glancing quickly back to the gaggle of girls gathered behind her. “We just wanted to stop over and say hi. We know who pretty much everyone here is, since almost everybody here is from our chem class, and Kageyama and Kawanishi tend to keep to themselves, so we were surprised to see them hanging out with someone we didn’t know!” “Yeah”, chimed another girl, “to be honest, we actually thought that Kageyama and Kawanishi were dating!” “Yeah!”, echoed a third, “They just seemed so close!”. Through gritted teeth, Oikawa laughed and said, “Wow, so weird! But no, Kageyama isn’t with _him._ He and I are happily together!” “Anyone would be happy to be with you”, giggled one girl, causing an eruption of giggles amongst the group. “Well, we’re sorry to interrupt your evening!”, smiled the girl who had first approached them and, after some goodbyes, the group left.

Kawanishi finished his drink and blankly asked, “Does that sort of thing happen often?”. Kageyama nodded, “Yeah, people tend to flock to Oikawa-san whenever we go out.” “Huh”, remarked Kawanishi, “I can’t imagine why.” “I’m _sure_ you can’t”, Oikawa replied, finishing his own beer, “It’s hard to comprehend things that vary so greatly from the existence you’ve experienced so far in life.” Before Kawanishi could fire another comeback, Oikawa turned to Kageyama. “Tobio-chan, I’m gonna go grab another beer. What do you want?”. Kageyama shrugged and looked at his mostly-empty glass. “Whatever you’re having is fine”, he said, smiling weakly. Oikawa reached over and took his glass, putting it to his lips and downing the rest of Kageyama’s drink. “Oh-- _ugh--_ Tobio-chan, I’m _ashamed_ of you”, he exclaimed, his face scrunched up in disgust. Kageyama grinned. “Sorry. I told you, I just drink whatever.” “Ugh, but you should have _standards_ at this point! Why are you drinking this _swill?!_ ” “Swill?”, repeated Kawanishi, “Um, I’m not sure who you think you are, but there’s a reason that’s the best selling beer in eastern Asia.” “‘Cheap and accessible’ doesn’t equate to quality, and anyone who thinks that they do is a moron.” “Not everyone can _afford_ the finer things in life, you know.” Things were getting heated again, and Kageyama was losing his patience with the constant bickering. “Um, you know what?”, he said, standing abruptly, “ _I’ll_ go get the drinks. I’ll grab one for you, too, Kawanishi.” Oikawa glanced to the auburn haired man before turning back to Kageyama. “Why don’t you order three of the featured craft on tap? Put it on my tab, it’s my treat.” “Really?”, Kageyama asked happily with wide eyes. Oikawa nodded, and Kageyama headed off towards the bar.

“You know”, Oikawa started as he watched Kageyama walk away, “if you can’t afford such ‘finer things’ as a pint of quality beer, there’s no _way_ you’d be able to take Tobio-chan from me.” “How do you figure?”, asked Kawanishi, glowering across the table. Oikawa smirked as he rested his elbow on the table, his chin in his palm. “Since Tobio-kun and I started dating, he’s become accustomed to a certain… lifestyle. I take him on extravagant dates, buy him luxurious gifts, make sure he doesn’t have to spend a single unnecessary penny of his meager part-time college librarian salary. I spoil him, and I have a hard time imagining him returning to a life of mediocrity and debt.” “Kageyama isn’t that shallow”, Kawanishi asserted, earning a loud laugh from Oikawa. “Ha! Whether that’s true or not, how can you _say_ that? You don’t even _know_ Kageyama!” Oikawa ran his tongue over his teeth; he didn’t like the way that the word ‘Kageyama’ tasted. He hadn’t said his boyfriend’s given name by itself in years upon years, and didn’t intend to make it a habit.  Kawanishi scowled, “I _do too_ know him, actually. We’ve spent a lot of time together since we became lab partners.” “A few study sessions _hardly_ counts as ‘knowing’ someone”, Oikawa laughed. His laughter immediately stopped when he noted a particularly nasty glimmer in Kawanishi’s eyes. “A couple study sessions, huh?”, the auburn-haired man retorted, “I guess your Tobio-chan has failed to tell you that we usually get lunch once a week after class. So I’d say we’ve had _quite_ a bit of time to get to know each other after all.”

Oikawa was seething; had Kageyama lied to him yet again about his level of involvement with another man? The brunette could hardly contain his anger, though he did everything he possibly could to maintain a cool facade. The only thing worse than Tobio lying to him at this point would be Kawanishi _knowing_ that he successfully got to Oikawa. “Still”, the brunette said with a level voice, “…I _hardly_ think that the occasional luncheon is enough for you to say you know him well enough to pass such judgements. Just face it: you could _never_ provide Tobio-chan with the quality of life I can.” Oikawa even managed a smirk as he leaned back in his chair and scanned the room in search of his boyfriend. He was pretty sure that he was starting to feel the beer, and had to surmise that it was one of a heavier alcohol content than what he normally drank. He was pleased when his eyes met Kageyama’s, the younger man walking carefully to the table while carrying three glasses filled to the brim with beer.

“Ah, here you go!”, Kageyama sighed as he set the glasses on the table before moving to take his seat once more. He pushed one glass across the table towards Kawanishi and pushed another to his left, over to Oikawa. Grabbing the last glass, he raised it slightly and grinned, “Thanks for treating us!” Oikawa laughed and, gently clinking his own glass to Kageyama’s, said, “You are most welcome, dear Tobio-chan. Although honestly, it’s more for me than anything else… I can hardly stand watching you drink that other garbage you were drinking!”. Oikawa raised his glass to his lips, then glanced across the table. “Oh”, he added, “ _do_ tell me what you think of this in comparison, won’t you?” Flashing a fake smile, Kawanishi nodded, “Of course”, before taking a small sip of his beer. Immediately his face screwed and, looking to Kageyama, he asked, “Ugh, you actually _drink_ this stuff? It tastes like _perfume!”._ Kageyama, who had finished half his glass in one long swig, smiled and nodded eagerly. “I never used to, but honestly, Oikawa has changed my mind on stuff like that. I used to just drink whatever” --a look from Oikawa caused Kageyama to retract his statement-- “ _okay,_ I _still_ just drink whatever when I’m out without Oikawa, but craft beers are actually really interesting. It might just take some getting used to.” “Yeah, at nine dollars a pint, I’m not planning on getting used to _this._ ” Kageyama chuckled and nodded, “Yeah, I can understand that.” A smirk crossed over Kawanishi’s lips; he leaned forward, propped up on his elbows, and asked, “Can you? For some reason I assumed you _preferred_ higher end things like this…”. “Preferred?”, asked Kageyama, cocking his head slightly, “I can’t say that I ‘prefer’ this stuff, although I do like it a lot. But if Oikawa wasn’t so adamant on buying my drinks, I probably wouldn’t get them myself.” Kawanishi glanced at Oikawa, who was no longer successfully obscuring his irritation. “Well, _my love”,_ he said, locking eyes with Kawanishi as he threw an affectionate arm around Kageyama, “That’s what I’m here for. To treat you to the wonderful things you deserve.” Kageyama smiled endearingly at his boyfriend before taking another sip of his beer. Oikawa’s lips curled up at the ends and he soon continued, “Oh, and, Kawaguchi, you’re _more_ than welcome to join us if you’d like, since you and my Tobio-chan are apparently such good _friends_ . My treat, of course-- I wouldn’t want either of you to strain your college student wallets!” Before Kawanishi could protest, Kageyama smiled and put his hand on Oikawa’s knee. “That’s really nice of you! Thank you, Tōru!” “Yes”, Kawanishi agreed, “That’s, like, _uncharacteristically_ nice of you. And as nice as it is, I just don’t think I can drink this kind of beer on a regular basis.” Oikawa waved a dismissive hand. “Oh, _please!_ We don’t have to stick to what Tobio and I like! In fact, why don’t you choose what you’d prefer for our next round-- put it on my tab and we can all have a sampling of what _you_ like.” At this, Kageyama raised an eyebrow. Something was definitely out of place here, but he wasn’t quite sure what. “Alright”, grinned Kawanishi, standing before shotgunning the rest of his drink, “I’ll be right back.” With that, the auburn-haired man sauntered off towards the bar.

“Thank you so much, Tōru”, Kageyama said, grinning at his boyfriend. With a smile in return, Oikawa asked, “For what?”. “For trying to get along with Kawanishi. I know you don’t like him, but it means so much to me that you’re trying.” Oikawa leaned forward and kissed Kageyama’s forehead. “Anything for you”, he said quietly, before pulling back and turning his attention to his own beer. _‘So that’s how it has to be’,_ he thought to himself, _‘Kageyama really_ **_isn’t_ ** _picking up on the subtext here...’_

After finishing the contents of his glass, he turned to Kageyama. “When are we leaving?”, he asked in a much more serious tone. The blue-eyed man shrugged. “Is socializing with my classmates that difficult on you?”, he asked with a frown. The brunette leaned in, pressing his lips right up against Kageyama’s left ear, and whispered, _“No, but I’m finding that having to be_ **_this close_ ** _to my sexy boyfriend without being able to ravage him is quite…_ **_hard._** _”_ Kageyama giggled then swiveled his body to face Oikawa. “Would you settle for an appetizer if I promise you can have the main course later on?”, he asked with a coy (though clearly drunken) smile. Oikawa placed his hand on Kageyama’s knee and slowly slid it up his thigh. “What did you have in mind?”, he asked. Kageyama leaned forward and quickly captured the brunette’s lips within his own. Soon they were completely lost in each other, indifferent to the fact that they were in public and wholly incapable of thinking of anything but their kiss. People began to turn and stare at the spectacle, and a couple of the girls who had previously gone out of their way to say hello to Oikawa even cheered them on.

_“Ahem.”_

Just like that, their magical moment had come to an end with the clearing of a throat and a heavy _thud_ on the table. Kageyama turned bright red and stammered out a dozen apologies, while Oikawa smirked up at Kawanishi. “‘like what you see?”, Oikawa asked, leaning his elbow on the table. “I’d like it better if you weren’t the other one involved”, Kawanishi mumbled. Kageyama, who was still busy apologizing, took no notice of this very direct interaction. “Anyway”, Kawanishi started, throwing himself back into his seat, “I hope you guys enjoy… _this.”_ He carefully slid two glasses in front of each man and while Kageyama immediately (and gratefully) took his drink, Oikawa stared at it. “...there aren’t roofies in here, are there?”, asked the brunette, frowning at the beverage in front of him. “Pff, you wish”, snorted Kawanishi, downing his drink in one quick gulp. Oikawa hesitantly took a sip of the beer in front of him, immediately recoiling upon swallowing. “Ack!”, he exclaimed, all his features completely scrunched as he tried to shake off the terrible taste, “Is this piss?!”. Kageyama frowned at Oikawa, but the brunette shook his head. “No-- I’m serious-- this literally tastes like piss! Did you--?”. “First off, no”, Kawanishi said, in his best voice of mock-offense, “And second, is piss usually ice cold?”. “Just drink your drink and I’ll go get us our next round”, frowned Kageyama, who’d also quickly finished his own beer.

As Kageyama trotted off towards the bar once more, Kawanishi grinned wickedly at Oikawa and taunted, “So… I can’t steal Kageyama away from you since he prefers the finer things in life, huh?”. Oikawa rolled his eyes and looked off in Kageyama’s general direction. “Oh my gosh, you literally are as stupid as you look. I didn’t even think that was possible.” “How so?”, Kawanishi glared across the table, picking up his glass before remembering once more that it was empty. Oikawa rolled his head back. “I literally said, ‘You can’t provide Tobio with the quality of life that I can’. Because clearly, you can’t. Even if you somehow magically managed to take him away, it wouldn’t be long before he came crawling back to me, looking for the comfort I’ve provided him with.” “There’s more to forming relationships than spending money”, Kawanishi asserted. The brunette shrugged then turned his attention back towards the sea of people that Kageyama was somewhere within. “Of course there is. You think he fell in love with me because I put down enough cash? That’s crazy. No, the money I’m spending only goes to reassure him that I would give anything to make him happy.”

“That is the cheesiest thing I’ve ever heard”, grinned Kageyama, suddenly appearing from the massive crowd with three more beers in his hand. Oikawa bolted upright, frowning deeply at the younger man. “...how much did you hear?”, he asked, taking a glass from the edge of the table as Kageyama set them down. “Just your last sentence”, Kageyama grinned, “About how you’re reassuring me that you would give anything to make me happy.” Oikawa’s frown deepened; there was something about how giddily Kageyama recounted the sentence that irked the older man. “Well, forget it”, Oikawa said, turning to his beer, “it was all a lie.” “Mmhmm, okay”, hummed Kageyama as he sipped his own beverage.

“So I guess you didn’t hear Kawasumi confess his feelings for you?”, Oikawa asked, grinning across the table at the man whose name he intentionally kept mispronouncing. “Confess…?”, Kageyama repeated, looking from Oikawa over to Kawanishi, who was smiling into his glass. “What are you talking about, Oikawa?”, laughed the auburn-haired man, “You and I both know we were just discussing how you ‘spoil’ Kageyama-- your words, not mine.” Oikawa’s grin spread as he leaned forward on his elbows. “So do you deny having feelings for Tobio-kun, then?”, he asked, the glimmer in his eye revealing that Kawanishi had walked right into his trap. Kawanishi set his glass down and smiled softly at Kageyama. “I’m not the kind of person you think I am, Oikawa. I could never be a homewrecker. I know that Kageyama is in a relationship, and he seems to be pretty happy. That all being said”, Kawanishi said, turning back to Oikawa, “...if you somehow manage to completely screw this up, and Kageyama is no longer with you, I can’t deny that I would be interested to see where things could go between us.” “So what are you saying, then?”, asked Oikawa, annoyed that Kawanishi had managed to answer his question without looking like an asshole, “Are you interested in Tobio or not?”. “Oikawa-san…”, Kageyama mumbled, hoping to calm down his boyfriend. Kawanishi shrugged. “I really value our budding friendship, and I enjoy Kageyama’s company. And since I enjoy his company _and_ find him to be quite attractive, I guess you could say that, yes, I do like him. But, by the same token, I wouldn’t jeopardize our friendship over one-sided desires. It’s something I would only act on if the feelings were mutual.” Oikawa looked to Kageyama for a response and was shocked the see the younger man smiling and nodding.

“Makes sense to me!”, beamed Kageyama. “...are you serious?!”, Oikawa exclaimed, “This guy _literally confesses_ and it doesn’t bother you _at all?”._ Kageyama looked to Oikawa, confusion clear in his eyes. “Why would it bother me?”, he asked with a frown, “Kawanishi said he wouldn’t ever jeopardize our friendship, and I’m in love with you, so unless I’m missing something here, nothing’s really changed, has it?”.

Oikawa felt his heart skip a beat. How was Kageyama so good at taking him by surprise? He’d become so flustered over the younger man’s blatant confession that he didn’t even manage to throw the cocky smile to Kawanishi that he otherwise would’ve relished.

The group went back to drinking, and Oikawa suddenly felt that he was a little more capable of tolerating Kageyama’s classmate than he had been, given that Kageyama just confirmed that he wasn’t a threat to their relationship.

If Hinata hadn’t been a threat and Kawanishi wasn’t, Oikawa reasoned, then perhaps there wasn’t an outside force on earth that could possibly damage Kageyama’s feelings for Oikawa.

 

\- - -

 

Thursday afternoon found Kageyama loafing around his apartment. The semester was finally over and he didn’t have work, leaving him the next two days without any prior commitments. His boyfriend was almost never around on Thursdays, as it was his late night coaching volleyball and he was usually too tired to hang out, so Kageyama was sure he wouldn’t be seeing Oikawa until at least Friday afternoon, after he finished up his last class.

He’d finally resolved to go to the gym and was in the process of getting changed when he heard his front door click open. A quick glance to his nightstand showed him that it was almost 4 pm-- entirely too early for Oikawa to be home, let alone at _his_ place. Was his landlord-- his Uncle-- stopping by? But… he never stopped by without giving Kageyama notice. Was it his parents? Hinata? The blue-eyed man quickly pulled on his workout shorts before running to the living room.

“Hey baby”, came an all too familiar smile. Oikawa was in the kitchen, filling up a vase with water. “What are you doing?”, was all that Kageyama could say. The brunette grinned and picked up a bouquet of flowers from his right side. “I got these for you”, Oikawa said, a light pink flooding his cheeks as he stepped closer to Kageyama. The younger man was very, very confused. Oikawa quickly turned back to what he’d been doing, carefully placing the flowers inside the vase, before taking Kageyama’s hand and leading him to the couch.

“Tōru”, Kageyama frowned, “Why are you _here?_ Don’t you have, like, coaching to do?”. Oikawa pulled Kageyama down so that both men were seated on the sofa. “Not anymore”, he smiled. Kageyama wasn’t even sure what to say to this. What did Oikawa mean by that? _Why_ ‘not anymore’?

“Last night, when I got to the bar, I heard Kawanishi ask if you wanted to go play volleyball. And, for the first time ever, I heard you explain what happened to you in high school. I mean, when we met with Chibi-chan, everyone kept referring to ‘the accident’ and ‘what happened’ and stuff, but I had no idea what you guys were talking about. And, well, to be honest, I had other things going on at the time-- like, you know, making sure you weren’t going to leave me for someone else. And I guess I never got around to asking you what happened, and I’m sorry for that.”

“I’d always assumed that you were going to become a star volleyball player or something, so I was honestly really surprised when I found out that you were up here and _not_ on the college team. I didn’t really put any more thought to it than that, though. But then… to find out that you’re not playing because you _can’t_ play… … ...I realized that I was basically rubbing it in your face by helping out with my school’s team. The truth is, we _have_ a coach. I’m just the advisor. I don’t really have to do anything except occasionally check in and make sure everything’s going okay, and that the kids aren’t pushing themselves too hard. I’ve resigned from that position altogether, though, effective in September. For now, I’m going to do exactly what I’m supposed to do as the team advisor-- no more, no less.”

Oikawa, who’d been staring at the floor as he delivered his well-rehearsed monologue, looked up at Kageyama, only to find tears in the younger man’s eyes.

“Tōru…”, Kageyama started, taking Oikawa’s hands in his own, “You don’t _have_ to do this. It’s honestly fine. I mean, I’d give _anything_ to go back in time and stop myself from making that dive, but it happened, and I have to live with it. I was stupid and prideful, and this is the consequence of that. I mean, _maybe_ the surgery might have helped, but I was 18. What 18 year old wants to be operated on? ...my point is, I had no _choice_ but to come to terms with what had happened. It sucked, and it killed my only dream in life, but there’s no changing the past. I wanted to become a sports writer because I figured, if I can’t _play_ volleyball, at least I can get paid to watch. But, this is all part of why I moved up here. I wanted to get away from it all. I didn’t want people to keep treating me differently just because I screwed up. I can’t _really_ regret it all anymore, because at the end of the day, if I didn’t break my wrist, I wouldn’t have moved so far away from home, and you and I wouldn’t have ran into each other, so _this_ wouldn’t exist.”

“Tobio”, Oikawa started, his own eyes tearing up, “Are you _honestly_ saying that you’d pick me over volleyball?”. A tear fell from Kageyama’s eye, and he quickly brushed it away. “Are you stupid?”, the younger man grinned, the change in his expression forcing more tears to fall, “Of course I am.”

Oikawa pulled Kageyama into a deep hug, squeezing the younger man so hard that he could barely breathe. Oikawa couldn’t hold back his own tears anymore, and as the first fell, he whispered, “Well, so am I.” “So are you…?”, Kageyama repeated, unsure of what Oikawa meant. He buried his face in the older man’s neck, snuggling up as Oikawa responded. “I’m choosing you over volleyball.”

The brunette sat back, pulling away from their hug and quickly wiping away his own tears. “And, besides, I feel like I’ve been really insensitive to you. Hisoka-chan literally came out and told you that he liked me, and I continued to work side by side with him over this last month. It’s the exact same situation as you and Kawakami.” “Why do you insist on doing that?”, Kageyama laughed, shaking his head as he spoke. “Doing what?” “Mispronouncing his name. You _know_ his name. I _know_ you know his name. But for some reason, you refuse to pronounce it correctly.” Oikawa shrugged and grinned mischievously before admitting, “...I don’t like him.” “I know you don’t”, the blue-eyed man laughed.

The room fell silent for a long moment before Kageyama looked back up at Oikawa. “Seriously, you don’t need to do this for me.” Oikawa shook his head. “I know I don’t. We’ve been together three months and you haven’t mentioned it once. But if I were in your shoes, the whole situation would hurt. So this is the least I can do.”

After a brief pause, Oikawa looked back to Kageyama. “Actually, I had one other thought.” “Oh god”, Kageyama jokingly muttered under his breath. “If you ever change your mind and decide to get that surgery done, I’ll pay for it.” Kageyama stared at the brunette in disbelief; had he really just heard him correctly? “Tōru”, Kageyama started, “...I don’t even know what to say to that.” Oikawa smiled and shrugged. “Sorry. I just want you to be happy.”

Kageyama was truly flabbergasted. “...I mean, thank you, but… that’s _a lot_ of money. I’m okay with stuff like dinners and whatever, but for you to pay thousands and thousands of dollars so I can get an operation? That’s insane.” “I told you, I’ve invested my money well. I can afford it. Maybe we’d have to eat at home for a couple of weeks if it got really costly, but I honestly wouldn’t mind.” The younger man frowned. “Well, who’s to say that it can even do anything at this point? For all I know, the damage is permanent.” Oikawa smiled and shrugged. “I dunno… a doctor, probably?”. Kageyama couldn’t help but smile as he shook his head. “You _know_ what I meant”, he laughed. Oikawa shrugged and put an arm around Kageyama. “I don’t need an answer today. Just… think about it. I understand if you’d rather not risk it, but I want you to know that you have options if you decide you’d like to try.”

Kageyama grinned up at the brunette. “So this is what you meant when you said that you would give anything to make me happy”, he quipped, referring to Oikawa’s comment the night prior. In mock indignation, the older man stood up and, storming off towards Kageyama’s bedroom, exclaimed, “You know what? Nevermind! The offer is off of the table! And I’m taking the flowers back, too!”

Kageyama quickly followed Oikawa, his heart soaring in joy and wonder as he silently reflected on how lucky he was to have accidentally run into his senpai.


	18. Meltdown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa and Kageyama are back at school after an amazing first summer together. But, for some reason, Oikawa isn't answering Kageyama's messages...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **TW: Rape**
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> For anyone who is enjoying this fic but is triggered by this topic, I have an alternate (very diluted) version of this chapter [here](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1nguZqSMP7HUUn-16B0lLfz2GAMPFrVrEClIaUQaHPNM/edit) (google docs link). It's basically the same thing, but much less graphic.

Kageyama found it hard to believe that summer was already over, as he sat in his third session of his Tuesday morning ‘Ethics in Journalism’ class and swiped through the pictures he and Oikawa had taken in the two months they spent together.

Their perfect first summer felt almost like a distant dream to Kageyama, as the dull hum of his professor’s lecture barely registered in his mind; he was too distracted by photos of what were quickly becoming his fondest memories. They’d spent literally every night together from Oikawa’s last day of school to his first day back. At the end of July, the two went on their first vacation together, largely funded by the brunette, as he wanted to go somewhere a little bit more extravagant than the few places Kageyama had suggested-- places like Tokyo and Osaka, where they could just explore the cities, or the hot springs in Hokkaido. Instead, Oikawa took them to the resplendent beaches of Ishigaki, where the two did little more than veg out on the sand each day and go club hopping each night.

Kageyama sighed as he flicked through the pictures. Before Oikawa, his phone had only ever had about a hundred pictures on it at a time, and it was mostly of stuff he was either trying to make a mental note of or things he wanted to send to others. Now his photo album was nearing a whopping _thousand_ pictures, and the blue eyed man was struggling to find a favorite among them. Everything was so good. In every picture, Oikawa looked _happy._ Kageyama looked happy, too, in fact, in all of the selfies the brunette made him take ‘because your phone’s camera is _so_ much better than mine!’.

All the images before him were bittersweet. He’d had a fabulous time, spending every second of July and August with his boyfriend, and was just as easily brought to laughter over the memories of ridiculous things they’d done together as he was brought to tears over the knowledge that his time with Oikawa was once again cut short-- this time indefinitely, due to their occupations. The worst part of this was knowing that by next year, Kageyama would likely be working a regular day job, where he _wouldn’t_ be able to be by Oikawa’s side the whole summer…

He tried to shrug off that knowledge, distracting himself by sending a happy picture to the other man. In it, both men were dressed in yukatas, as they were headed off to their town’s annual festival (and Oikawa absolutely insisted on ‘doing it right’). Oikawa wore a bright blue garment-- one that almost reminded the younger man of his volleyball uniform back at Aobajōsai-- while Kageyama wore a navy-and-white pattern that almost resembled koi swimming across his figure. The two were poised grinning, after Kageyama won Oikawa a goldfish from one of the street vendors. They looked so happy-- so in love…

 **Tobio** **♥ (9:23am):** look how cute! ^^ i miss it already… promise we can go back next year?

As he flipped through the digital album, his heart nearly jumped out of his chest when he stopped at the photo that had become their first shared facebook profile picture (admittedly, each man chose a variation in the picture where they thought they looked better, but aside from a slightly different facial expression, they were essentially the same pictures). Surprisingly, _Oikawa_ had been the one to suggest that they make their relationship public. Kageyama was fine with keeping his friends and relatives in the dark; after all, he had been hidden in the closet for so long in his previous relationship that the simple act of walking down the street holding hands was enough to make the blue-eyed man swoon with gratitude and appreciation.

After their summer together, Kageyama was very seriously thinking about taking Oikawa up on his offer, and moving in with the older man. His initial idea had been to move in overnight on Christmas, so that when Oikawa woke up, Kageyama would be his ‘present’. It was cute and cheesy and right up Oikawa’s alley. However, with each day that passed, Kageyama found himself less okay with the idea of waiting another three months before he could spend every single spare moment with the man he loved so deeply.

On the topic of ‘love’, Kageyama was achingly aware that Oikawa still had not said those three magic words yet. This caused the younger man quite a bit of internal turmoil. On the one hand, he positively _ached_ to hear Oikawa confess his true feelings. He longed to hear those words more than anything else in the world, and felt as if he’d be able to die happy if Oikawa would only say it once _._ On the other hand, Oikawa _had_ cautioned him very, very early on that he had his fair share of baggage and hang ups; perhaps, Kageyama thought to himself, ‘I love you’ was one of them. It also seemed, through Oikawa’s actions more than anything else, that the brunette really _did_ love Kageyama. He treated him better than Kageyama could’ve ever _dreamed_ he would and, of course, he was the one taking their relationship public. He was the one who first introduced Kageyama as his boyfriend. He was the one who was willing to fight with Hinata and Sugawara and Daichi and _literally anybody else that stood in his way_ for Kageyama. He was the one who suggested moving in together as well as the one who suggested a shared vacation. And he was the one who had pushed the whole ‘social media’ thing.

For the most part, everyone was supportive of their relationship. Some of their former friends and teammates expressed shock, but that was the only type of reaction that had not been purely positive. Kageyama was beginning to feel like maybe this was all real, and maybe it was actually happening. Maybe the day where he woke up and Oikawa was gone from his life _was_ nothing more than a pessimistic nightmare...

...Or at least, that’s what he _had_ been thinking. He couldn’t lie and say that he wasn’t beginning to worry when he hadn’t heard back from the brunette by 6 o’clock that evening. Even when Oikawa was teaching classes, the brunette was often sending simple little notes off to Kageyama. Just little things like, “I miss you”, “I can’t wait to see you tonight ;)”, or “what do you want for dinner, baby?”, peppered in throughout their days. As Kageyama sullenly trudged home from a full day of class and work, he realized that he really _should_ be a little bit more proactive in messaging Oikawa through the day, especially since _he_ was the one who had more free time.

 **Tobio** **♥ (6:18pm):** hey, r u ok? I havent heard from u all day and i miss you alot :(

The blue-eyed man’s heart sunk as he entered his apartment to find that Oikawa wasn’t there. He did his best to do what he was supposed to be doing-- he kicked off his shoes and set his backpack on the table, where he then proceeded to try to do any of the homework he’d been assigned. No matter what he did, though, his mind always wandered back to Oikawa.

Where was the brunette?  
What was he doing?  
Was everything okay?  
Was he mad at Kageyama?

Kageyama tried at his work for nearly an hour before giving up and wandering over to his couch, resigned to the fact that he wouldn’t be able to think of anything besides Oikawa until he heard from the brunette once more.

 _‘Did I do something?’,_ he thought, time and time again as he wracked his brain for any semblance of an answer to Oikawa’s mysterious silence. To be honest, he couldn’t think of _anything_ he might have done to set the brunette off. Their morning was pretty normal: they woke up together and fooled around for a few minutes before Kageyama jumped in the shower and Oikawa readied himself for work. The couple walked three quarters of the way to the school Oikawa taught at before kissing goodbye. There was no sign that anything was amiss. _‘So why haven’t I heard from him?’,_ Kageyama thought to himself.

Kageyama tried calling Oikawa twice, but the brunette failed to answer. On the second round with Oikawa’s answering machine, Kageyama decided to leave a message. “Hey, um, give me a call when you can”, he said, his voice shaking as he spoke, “I really miss you, and I hope you’re okay. If I did done anything to upset you, I’m really sorry, but I have no clue what it is, so at least give me a call back and tell me… I think if I don’t hear from you by nine I’m gonna head over to your place just to make sure you’re alright. ...um, okay, I love you, I hope I’ll talk to you soon, bye…”

As soon as he hung up, he found tears rushing to his eyes, as the shaking spread from his vocal cords to his hands and spine. He allowed himself to cry for just a few minutes before springing up from his couch and, motivated once more (this time by his own deadline of nine o’clock), heading back to the table to try to get some homework done.

It was nearly twenty after eight when Kageyama heard the familiar sound of keys meeting his front doorknob. He practically leapt across the small apartment, taking no note of how unusually long the person on the other side of the door was taking to try to open it, before flinging the door open himself.

He was beyond relieved to see that it was Oikawa standing on his threshold. He threw his arms around the taller man, yet again failing to notice how unusually disheveled Oikawa looked, choosing instead to bury his face in the older man’s shoulder. “Oh, God, I missed you so much!”, he cried, clinging to Oikawa, “I was so worried about you!”

It was only once his words were met with a resounding silence that he realized that something seemed… _off._ As if his senses suddenly turned back on, he was suddenly hit with the _strong_ stench of cigarettes and something that he could only assume was some type of alcohol.

“T- Tōru?”, Kageyama asked, pulling back to look in the brunette’s eyes. Oikawa was staring at the floor and, no matter what Kageyama did, the older man would not make eye contact with him. “T- Tōru, what’s the matter?”. Kageyama’s voice sounded small and scared as he spoke. He couldn’t place the strange feeling that was building up inside of him. “...Tōru?”

Kageyama hardly had time to register what was happening as he collided with the wall beside his front door; Oikawa had stepped in, shutting the door behind him before roughly pushing the dark-haired man up against the nearest wall. Oikawa quickly began kissing him, but Kageyama was not comfortable with the way everything was happening; Oikawa’s kisses were uncharacteristically harsh and his over all demeanour was very aggressive and domineering. He tasted horrible, the mixture of what was clearly packs upon packs of cigarettes and at least a bottle of scotch forcing itself into Kageyama’s mouth with each thrust of Oikawa’s tongue. The younger man tried to pull away-- he wasn’t sure _what_ was wrong with Oikawa, but his need to know was becoming more desperate. He thrashed his head side to side, trying to escape the violent liplock he was being forced into, but Oikawa proved to be much stronger than him. The brunette reached up and grabbed Kageyama’s chin, forcing his head to stay in one place. Oikawa then snaked another hand down Kageyama’s pants, wrapping chilly fingers around Kageyama’s flaccid member. He was embarrassed by how quickly he became erect; he couldn’t help that he was weak to Oikawa’s touch, no matter how unwanted it was in that moment. He could feel the older man smirk into their kiss as he grew harder and harder. Oikawa’s intentions were becoming clear now, but sex had been the _furthest_ thing from Kageyama’s mind. He didn’t _want_ to be intimate with Oikawa right now-- all he wanted was answers to the brunette’s erratic behavior.

As suddenly as he’d pressed himself into Kageyama, Oikawa pulled away, leaving the blue-eyed man gasping for air. Kageyama unconsciously spat on the floor, desperate to chase away the grotesque taste that had overtaken his tastebuds. He frowned at the small puddle on his carpet, realizing that not only was he _inside,_ but he was also inside his own apartment. Before he had a chance to gather his thoughts, Oikawa grabbed Kageyama, picking him up as if he weighed nothing and carrying him into the bedroom.

“Tōru, _stop”,_ Kageyama demanded immediately before being thrown onto his own bed. “TŌRU, _STOP”._ It seemed as if his words weren’t getting through to the older man, who was quickly pulling Kageyama into position. “Tōru-- Oikawa-- I’m serious-- _Stop!_ I don’t want to--”. Oikawa shoved Kageyama’s face into the comforter and quickly yanked down the younger man’s pants. Kageyama was being overtaken by true desperation, as he did everything he could to flail out of Oikawa’s reach. The brunette reached out and grabbed Kageyama by his left wrist, the old wound burning in pain as Oikawa twisted it behind Kageyama’s back.

 _“Oikawa-san”,_ Kageyama repeated, now sobbing as he begged the older man not to do what he was clearly about to do. He felt Oikawa moving behind him and was sure it was only a matter of time before…

“ _Oikawa-san! ...Mango! MANGO!”_ , Kageyama shouted, remembering the safe word that he’d never had to use before now. When the two created it, though, Kageyama didn’t once think that he would be in such a position the first time he spoke it. He also never imagined that, when the time came that he would have to use such a thing as a safe word, Oikawa would completely disregard it.

Pressing Kageyama’s face back into the bed, Oikawa entered the younger man, and, though he had quickly lubricated with his own saliva, Kageyama felt as if he was completely dry as Oikawa forced himself into him.

The younger man stopped struggling, resigning himself to whatever it was that Oikawa intended to do. It wasn’t like he had too much of a choice in the matter: the grip Oikawa had on his injured wrist sent a searing pain through his whole arm every time he tried to pull away. He adjusted his positioning so that his left arm had as much slack as possible. His face was still buried in the comforter, but he managed to turn it slightly so he could breathe with ease. The only thing left was to figure out how to deal with the pain that Oikawa was still actively inflicting on him.

Kageyama tried to calm himself down. It was very clear, even if the brunette hadn’t said a word, that Oikawa was drunk. Thankfully drunk Oikawa never lasted terribly long, so, if Kageyama’s assumption was correct, it would only be another minute or two at most. He did his best to think of other things-- anything to take his mind off of the very distracting pain hitting him in waves as Oikawa thrust in and out of him. It all felt incredibly surreal, and Kageyama was having a difficult time reconciling his reality with his past.

Oikawa was picking up speed, and Kageyama was finding that he was able to breathe a little bit easier, knowing that his ordeal was almost over. There was even a small part of him-- much to his horror-- that was still responding to Oikawa’s body the way he always had, and though he did his best to resist his biological impulses, he would occasionally find himself pushing back to meet Oikawa’s bucking hips.

The brunette finished unceremoniously, erupting inside of Kageyama’s sore, raw hole without warning, and just like that, he was gone.

And Kageyama… Kageyama found himself sobbing alone on his bed, pants halfway down his thighs, left arm still positioned behind him, with tears leaking from his eyes and remnants of Oikawa running between his legs.

 

It had taken Kageyama a long time to recover from his unwanted encounter with his boyfriend. He was feeling incredibly conflicted as he lay on his mattress crying over what had just happened.

On the one hand, Oikawa was his _boyfriend._ They’d had sex countless times before, and there were definitely times that Kageyama wasn’t in the mood and Oikawa was, or vice versa. In the simplest of terms, that’s what had happened, wasn’t it? Oikawa was _really_ in the mood and Kageyama was _really_ not. There were many occasions in the past where Oikawa did the same thing he’d just done, pushing Kageyama up against the wall, kissing him with a deep hunger, before carting him off to the bed or couch and having his way with him. The sole difference was that Kageyama was also horny those times. So why did this feel so different?

Kageyama knew, on the outside, what had just happened. He knew that Oikawa had-- _no._ He was not prepared to think that word. He was not willing to let himself come to terms with the horrible, wicked thing that had just been done to him, especially not when it was by someone he loved so much.

He’d spent nearly an hour laying still in bed before finally committing to forcing himself to get up and go to the bathroom at least, hoping that his trip would also yield a shower. It took much longer than he’d have liked to admit for him to be able to stand; his legs felt like jelly, weak and wobbly as he stumbled off towards his bathroom. He was in quite a bit of pain and, upon sitting on the toilet, realized that he was actually bleeding, as he watched the intermingling fluids run down the inside of his thighs: red and eggshell white, blending together to make a sickly pink color. It made him feel dirty and disgusting. At this rate he knew that he wouldn’t be able to stand long enough to shower, but with a little bit of effort, Kageyama managed to draw himself a bath. He lay in the tub and soaked for a long time, and though his sore bottom initially stung in the heat of the water, eventually it felt as if that part of him-- the part that had been actually, physically injured-- was healing. He even refreshed the water several times, draining the tub halfway before adding more heat so he could stay in longer.

By the time he’d exited the tub, Kageyama was feeling quite a bit better. His legs had regained some of their strength and though his butt still hurt, it was a more bearable pain. His head also felt clearer. While he knew it would be a long time before he could be fully comfortable with Oikawa once more (that is, if he ever saw him again-- at this point his doubts were stronger than ever), he also knew that something was clearly wrong for Oikawa to have come over in such a state. The older man was drunk and reeked of cigarettes-- his preferred method of coping with high stress-- after a day of complete radio silence. Something was off, and Kageyama reasoned that the whole situation was surely some sort of misunderstanding.

It was only while he slept that his mind truly explored the situation, showing him that maybe Oikawa wasn’t so guiltless through his many graphic nightmares. Every time he shut his eyes, grim scenes replayed inside his head over and over, with each reiteration worse than the last.

By the time the sun rose on a new day, Kageyama had already called himself out of both work and school; there was no way he’d be able to attend class and go to work after such a horrendously restless night.

He spent most of Wednesday laying on the couch, where he had slept the night before. He didn’t even want to look at his bed, for fear of the memories of the prior evening resurfacing. He passed the entire day by alternating between flipping through tv channels and listlessly playing with his phone. Much to his disappointment, he still hadn’t heard a word from Oikawa. However, he was unwilling to send yet another message to his boyfriend after everything that had happened. He knew that he was a bit of a doormat when it came to Oikawa, but reaching out first after being assaulted would be over the top, even by his standards.

Thursday passed in exactly the same manner, and Friday would have as well were it not for an unexpected call that had come in.

Kageyama was still on the couch and had settled on a channel that was showing one of those super trashy daytime-tv talk shows. Right before the third brawl of the ten minute segment broke out, Kageyama’s phone began ringing. He was initially hopeful that it might’ve been Oikawa finally coming around to his senses and reaching out to apologize, but those hopes were quickly dashed when he saw an unfamiliar number pop up on his screen.

“Uh… hello?”, he asked into the receiver, waiting anxiously to see who it could be that was contacting him at a time like this.

“Um… hi, is this-- is this Kageyama-kun?”, asked the voice on the other end. Somehow it sounded familiar, though Kageyama could not place who that voice belonged to as he replied, “Yes, this is Kageyama.”

“Good morning, Kageyama-kun. This is Mizuki, the vice principal of Riverview Middle. How are you doing?” “Oh, uh-- okay, I guess. How are you?” Kageyama wasn’t sure what was going on. The tone of the conversation was really unusual, and the blue-eyed man simply couldn’t fathom why Oikawa’s employer was calling him, especially when Oikawa himself hadn’t in days.

“I’m alright, thank you for asking. ...Kageyama-kun, the reason I’m calling is because Oikawa hasn’t been in since Monday, and he hasn’t called out or anything like that, nor is he answering our calls. At this point we’re all growing a bit concerned, as this is completely like the Oikawa Tōru we all know and love. And, well, you’re the only person on his emergency contact list, so I just wanted to call and see if you’ve heard from him or if you know anything about his sudden absence.”

Kageyama was stunned. His encounter with Oikawa on Tuesday evening was one thing, but for Oikawa to go completely off the grid, not even responding to his employer? The thoughts that flew through his head made him dizzy.

“Um, no, Mizuki-sensei, I haven’t actually heard from him. But, um, you know what? I’m gonna run over to his apartment and see what’s up, okay?” Kageyama had already gotten off the couch and turned off his muted television by the time this statement had left his mouth. “Oh, thank you dear!”, the vice principal exclaimed, while Kageyama put his shoes on, “If you find anything out, please give me a call back, or tell Oikawa-kun to. This number here is my personal cell phone.”

Kageyama was off and running the moment he hung up with Oikawa’s employer, in spite of the residual soreness he was experiencing. His initial thoughts on the matter were correct, it seemed, and something was very, very wrong. He stumbled a few times in his run, nearly falling over as he raced across town in the hopes that, whatever had happened, he wouldn’t be too late.

The doorman greeted Kageyama, and the young man found that to be quite strange as he waited on the elevator. After all, if Oikawa had intended to cut Kageyama out of his life, wouldn’t he have told the doormen to prevent Kageyama from entering? Kageyama didn’t breathe once while on the elevator, instead focusing on the illuminated numbers above the door until they finally displayed his destination: floor 35. He dashed across the hallway and, much to his alarm, Kageyama found that the doorknob to Oikawa’s place was unlocked. He ran in, barely kicking off his shoes as he moved from the front hall to Oikawa’s actual condo. The second he opened the door to the living room, a foul odor hit Kageyama, and he reeled as if he’d been punched.

Oikawa’s normally pristine condominium was completely trashed, with food and clothes and cigarette butts and bottles upon bottles of alcohol strewn across the loft. The smell was unbearable, and as Kageyama began walking carefully into the room, he realized it was the stench of vomit, as evidenced by several murky puddles across the floor.

“O- Oikawa?”, the younger man called out, his voice shaking as he spoke. He watched where he stepped, careful not to place his foot atop anything at all if he could help it, which was no easy feat.

“Oikawa?”, Kageyama repeated, this time a little bit louder and a little bit more anxiously. Still no response. The entire condo was silent. He crossed the room, intending to check the brunette’s bedroom, when out of nowhere Alexander jumped up on the counter and began crying to him. This not only surprised Kageyama, but scared him as well; Alexander was not a vocal cat to begin with, so for him to be loudly mewling at the intruder surely meant that something was off. Kageyama picked up Alexander and walked over to the cat’s bowls, quickly realizing that both of which were completely empty. Setting the cat down, he reached up and grabbed a can of cat food from the cupboard nearest him. Upon seeing this, Alexander’s cries only got louder as he wove himself in and out of Kageyama’s legs. Kageyama dumped the food in the bowl before filling a cup with water and repeating the motion. Alexander immediately began eating, lapping up nearly the entire can before Kageyama could even leave the room. This only served to make Kageyama feel that something was _definitely_ wrong.

The blue eyed man opened the bedroom door and was granted a similar sight-- all across the room were heaps of clothes and dirty dishes. Oikawa was still nowhere to be seen. Kageyama called his name one more time, then carefully made his way to the master bathroom. As soon as he pushed open the door, the smell intensified, and to his horror, he found that the man that he loved was sprawled out face down across the porcelain floor.

In spite of the splashes of vomit that dotted the white floor, Kageyama dropped to his knees, crawling to Oikawa’s side as quickly as he could. He reached out to touch the brunette, cringing as he neared for fear that he’d be making contact with unnaturally cold flesh. Much to his surprise, Oikawa’s skin was still warm. He placed a hand on the older man’s back and could feel labored breathing, and he quickly realized that Oikawa was not dead, but rather lay fast asleep.

It took a bit of effort, especially since Kageyama’s bad wrist was very sore, but Kageyama managed to flip Oikawa over onto his back; the brunette did not react at all. “Oikawa”, Kageyama said, shaking the older man slightly as he spoke, “Oi-ka-wa”. No response. He shook him a little bit harder as he spoke, but while he tried to revive the unconscious man, some of the pieces of the puzzle began to come together. Oikawa had been drunk the other night. There were empty bottles and glasses strewn across the entire condo (and vomit, to boot). If Kageyama’s assumptions were correct, Oikawa had-- for reasons yet unknown-- gone on a total bender, drinking from early Tuesday until whenever he passed out, coming to, getting sick, and then drinking until he passed out once more.

Now that Kageyama began to realize what was going on, his sympathy for the older man ebbed, and he found himself standing up and reaching for the glass that Oikawa rinsed his mouth with. He quickly filled it with cold water, then upended the glass immediately above the brunette’s face. This actually worked, with Oikawa bolting upright and sputtering at the sudden shock.

“What the hell are you doing?!”, Kageyama yelled, anger mounting as he realized just how worried he’d been for his lover. It took Oikawa a long moment to realize that the sound had come from another person, jumping when he finally lay his eyes upon Kageyama.

“T- Tobio?”, Oikawa asked, reaching out and taking Kageyama’s pant leg in his hand before very suddenly erupting in inconsolable tears. All of a sudden, Kageyama’s anger completely dissipated, leaving only shock and concern in its wake.

“Tobio!”, Oikawa wailed, clinging to the younger man’s leg as if he were a small child. Kageyama was stunned; how was he supposed to react to the very sudden change in his boyfriend’s personality? As Oikawa continued repeating Kageyama’s given name, the younger man sunk to the floor, prying his leg away from Oikawa and instead holding the hysterical brunette as he cried inconsolably.

“Tobio”, Oikawa cried out, “Tobio, I’m so sorry! I just-- it’s just-- Oh, Tobio-- Iwa-chan is getting married!”. These words hit Kageyama like a train. He had no idea how to react. On the one hand, his heart ached for Oikawa, but on the other hand… wasn’t Oikawa supposed to be over Iwaizumi? Wasn’t he supposed to be in love with Kageyama?

The younger man was reeling, and though Oikawa continued his hysterical monologue, Kageyama could not absorb a word of what he was saying. All of this-- the disgusting condo, the alcohol bender, the call from Mizuki-sensei, the silence between him and Kageyama and, hell, even the assault-- it was all because Iwaizumi is getting married?

Kageyama stood suddenly, staggering away from the brunette. “Um-- stay right there”, Kageyama choked out, “--I’ll-- I’ll be right back”. Kageyama lurched to the patio, flinging himself to the railing of the balcony as if it were a life raft. He hung his head and arms over the edge as he just focused on breathing: _what the hell was going on?_

It took a long time before Kageyama was able to move again, but when he finally did, it was with a purpose. He immediately set about tidying up Oikawa’s room as quickly and neatly as he possibly could. Once the room was satisfactory-- when the bed was made and everything was removed from every surface-- he returned to the bathroom, where Oikawa was still crying his heart out. The brunette jumped once more when Kageyama touched him, desperately searching the younger man’s eyes before leaping into his arms. Kageyama hugged Oikawa to him for a long minute before pulling away. He stood from his crouching position and lifted Oikawa, careful to put the majority of the brunette’s weight in his right arm. He gently carried Oikawa into his bedroom and lay him down on top of the bed. Oikawa clung to Kageyama, still sobbing as he refused to let the younger man leave his side. It was becoming clear, through his only-half-coherent sobs, that he was still somewhat inebriated, and though Kageyama desperately wanted to speak with him, he felt that he truly needed to wait until Oikawa was of sound mind.

“Oikawa-san”, Kageyama whispered once the sobs died down, “get some sleep.” “Don’t leave me!”, Oikawa cried, holding the younger man even tighter. Kageyama shook his head. “I won’t. I’ll be here when you wake up. Just-- get some sleep. We can talk when you’re feeling better.”

Once he finally got Oikawa  to agree to try to sleep it off, Kageyama set about cleaning the rest of Oikawa’s condo. He wasn’t big on cleaning, often choosing to let a mess sit rather than doing anything about it, but this was a special exception. The loft wasn’t just ‘messy’, it was completely trashed. Kageyama only discovered the depth of the mess as he set about cleaning it up, sorting out trash, recyclables, and clothes as he moved. He had to find a pair of gloves before he could even _think_ about dealing with the numerous piles of vomit.

It took him over five hours to fully clean the entire flat, and though he was exhausted in the end, he was quite proud of himself and what he’d accomplished. Kageyama frequently peeked in to check on Oikawa, who had not only successfully fallen asleep, but seemed to be dead to the world around him. Kageyama started off cleaning as quietly as he possibly could, but each time he checked on Oikawa and found him in the same exact position, he realized that he could be a little bit louder than he had been, until it got to the point where he vacuumed all the area rugs and the couch without thinking twice about whether it was bothering the condo’s occupant.

As he cleaned, he also found out why Oikawa hadn’t been answering his calls or texts: Oikawa’s phone had clearly been hurled to the ground, as evidenced by the many, many pieces it sat in half a room away from the couch. It was clear that it would never work again.

When he was finally finished cleaning, Kageyama collapsed on the now-pristine couch with Oikawa’s tablet in hand. After all they’d been through, the younger man couldn’t have cared less about whether he was violating Oikawa’s privacy; he was getting to the bottom of this, no matter what it took. Alexander, who’d been intently watching Kageyama as he worked, climbed on top of the blue-eyed man’s lap once he was finally seated, purring like a little motor as he made himself comfortable.

Kageyama opened Oikawa’s e-mail and was surprised to see that there was nothing from Iwaizumi. There were nearly twenty e-mails from Oikawa’s coworkers, however, and this reminded Kageyama that he had a phone call he had to make. He quickly fished his phone out of his pocket and redialed the number that had called him earlier. Talking very lowly into the receiver, he lied and told Mizuki-sensei that Oikawa had come down with a very bad case of the flu and wasn’t even able to get out of bed. He apologized profusely on his boyfriend’s behalf, though the vice principal expressed nothing more than sheer relief that Oikawa was okay, and that he now had someone to look after him.

When Kageyama hung up, he turned his attention back to the tablet. He scrolled through the ‘sent’ mail and even the ‘trash’, but there was nothing that bore Iwaizumi’s name. He then pulled up Oikawa’s facebook, realizing that this was the much more logical source of such information. Oikawa had almost five hundred friends, and after scrolling through Oikawa’s news feed for nearly five minutes, the younger man realized that this wasn’t how he’d get any information either. He quickly typed ‘I-W-A-I’ into the search bar and immediately the name ‘Iwaizumi Hajime’ popped up. He tapped the name and only had to swipe down once to find exactly what had triggered Oikawa’s meltdown.

Iwaizumi (or, more specifically, the woman he was with) had created a life event, the title of which blared in thick font across Iwaizumi’s feed, saying: “GOT ENGAGED TO ANNA DAVIS”. The post was from Monday night, and featured a collage of photos, including Iwaizumi’s (seemingly romantic) proposal, in which he was on the beach, kneeling down on one knee with the woman’s hand in his, as well as several different photos of them kissing. The woman was also quite beautiful, with long, light brown hair and bright green eyes. It seemed, after a little bit of snooping, that Iwaizumi had met Anna shortly after beginning his exchange program in America. The majority of the posts on his wall were things that Anna had tagged him in.

On the announcement, floods of familiar names and faces congratulated Iwaizumi and Anna on their engagement. Many, many people from their volleyball days commented on the update, though the one name that was very clearly missing was Oikawa’s. Kageyama dared to snoop a little bit further, but was surprised when he found that the most recent private message exchange between Oikawa and Iwaizumi was nearly six years ago. It was just as Oikawa said: Oikawa had reached out, and Iwaizumi threatened to block him on everything if he didn’t leave him alone. Oikawa never responded to that message.

The one thing that Kageyama found in Oikawa’s messages was a group message from two days prior, sent by Hanamaki Takahiro-- a former player on both Aobajōsai and Kitagawa Daiichi’s volleyball teams. The thing that particularly surprised Kageyama about this message was that his own name was among the long list of recipients. (To be fair, Kageyama didn’t check facebook often, and didn’t even have notifications set up on his phone for it. He just didn’t really see the point of social media.) Since he was one of the addressee's, Kageyama felt no confliction in opening the message.

“Hey all!”, it read, “Long time no see! I’m sure you all saw that Iwaizumi Hajime is now engaged to his long-time girlfriend Anna. Iwaizumi will be coming back to see his parents in late October, so I thought it might be nice for us to throw him a bachelor party, Japan style! Please let me know if you can make it-- this might be our last time to see him, so I really want to make it a blast! If you have any questions, feel free to reach out to me or Mattsun!”. Below that was the venue that Hanamaki had already booked, as well as the date, time, and Hanamaki’s phone number. The party was going to be held at a popular club back in Sendai, and would be taking place on October 21st, starting at 6pm.  

Kageyama sighed and leaned his head back, absent-mindedly petting Alexander with his free hand as he thought to himself. _‘How would I feel if Shōyō and I had an ugly break up, and then I found out he was engaged after years of not talking to me?’_ Kageyama shook his head. He didn’t feel that it was an apt comparison. As much as he’d loved Hinata, he never felt like he was ‘the one’. His heart skipped a beat as he sorted out his thoughts. _‘How would I feel if Tōru left me for someone else, moved away, told me to leave him alone, and then got engaged to someone that wasn’t me?’_ His stomach roiled at this thought, and suddenly Oikawa’s meltdown seemed to make a little more sense. Kageyama took into consideration that the emotions he experienced during his hypothetical train of thought were all fabricated, as was the series of events, but for Oikawa, it was his reality. Kageyama began to realize that it didn’t _matter_ that he and Oikawa were in love; this must’ve felt like the final nail in the coffin of their friendship, and that must’ve hurt Oikawa more than Kageyama could understand.

The younger man found himself slipping under the blankets and cuddling up next to Oikawa, holding the man he loved tightly as he began to stir.

The room was silent, though it was clear that both men were awake, for a long time, before finally Oikawa spoke. “Tobio”, he whispered, “I am so sorry that I hurt you. I don’t… I don’t remember much, to be honest, but just the little flashes of memories I have are torture.” Oikawa rolled over in bed and faced Kageyama. Looking deeply into the younger man’s eyes through the tears that were forming in his own, Oikawa continued, “I love you, and I never, _ever_ want to hurt you. I just… I completely lost my mind.” Kageyama felt his own tears begin to well up as, voicelessly, he asked, “Say that again”. Oikawa frowned but repeated, “I’m sorry, Tobio, I really am.” Kageyama smiled slightly and shook his head. “No, the other thing.”

It took the brunette a long moment to realize what Kageyama was referring to, but when he finally replayed his own words in his head, a sheepish grin spread across his face as a bright pink filled his cheeks.

“I love you, Tobio-chan”, he said, pressing his forehead against Kageyama’s, “More than anything.” “I knew it”, grinned Kageyama.

 

 


	19. Introspection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa sees a counselor, and Kageyama sees an old friend.

Oikawa had always had a little bit of a self-destructive streak, though his awareness of it waxed and waned through the varying periods of his life. During his introspective peaks, he would shrug it off as a ‘necessary flaw’ to round out his otherwise perfect being. But now that he was being forced to face it head on, he was feeling a little less ‘perfect’ and a little more ‘flawed’. 

 

Oikawa and Kageyama had stayed up nearly all night talking about the brunette’s complete and total meltdown. After much demanding on Oikawa’s part, Kageyama filled him in on the last time they saw each other in excruciating detail. Oikawa was devastated to learn that he’d hurt the man he loved so dearly, and at this point saw no purpose in hiding his true feelings; as such, he wept openly as Kageyama spoke, encouraging the younger man to keep going despite his obvious duress. They’d discussed Oikawa’s feelings-- his initial reaction and then his thought processes (muddled though they were) that led up to the moment Kageyama found him passed out in the bathroom. All in all, they spent a productive night together, opening up to one another in more complex and profound ways than ever before. Oikawa seemed to be afraid to so much as  _ touch  _ Kageyama, for fear of hurting him again, but the younger man did his best to try to assuage that fear by wrapping himself around the brunette as they spoke. 

Kageyama slept in on Saturday morning, and was shocked when he awoke to an empty bed. He tenuously stepped out into the living room where he found Oikawa seated on the couch with his tablet in hand. The older man immediately jumped up when Kageyama entered, casting the device aside in favor of embracing his lover. “Tobio-chan”, Oikawa whispered, pulling the younger man into him, “You’re too good to me. This place is cleaner than ever.” “I don’t know about that”, laughed Kageyama as he pulled away from the older man, “but it  _ is  _ much better than how it had been.” Oikawa nodded, “I know. And I’m really grateful.” 

When Kageyama set about making breakfast for himself, Oikawa returned to the couch. “Um, so…”, he started, unsure of how to begin telling Kageyama how he spent his morning, “...last night, you said something that really made me think.” “I hope I said a  _ lot  _ of things that made you think”, the younger man quipped from the kitchen. Oikawa frowned. “Well, yeah, you did. But there was one thing in specific that  _ really  _ made me think.” “Oh yeah? What was it?” Oikawa took a deep breath in before continuing. “You said to me, ‘You need your head examined’. And, well, I realized… you’re probably right.” “Tōru.”, Kageyama said plainly, popping his head around the corner to look at his boyfriend, “You realize that what I said is a figure of speech, right? Like, I was  _ teasing you. _ I didn’t mean--” “No, I know that”, Oikawa said, nodding then quickly looking away from the younger man, “but… well. I… I don’t think that my reaction was ‘normal’. I don’t think that the way I deal with what happened six years ago is ‘normal’. I think… I think I need help in getting over this stuff.” “And you only just realized this now?”, Kageyama asked skeptically, folding his arms and raising an eyebrow to further emphasize his disbelief. Oikawa shook his head. “No… it’s occurred to me a couple of times. But… this time… I want to make sure that I deal with it properly.” The brunette stood and slowly crossed the room once more. He gently placed his hands on Kageyama’s hips and, looking deeply into his eyes, said, “I want to let go of the past… so that we can work on our future.”

Kageyama felt his face burn brightly at these words;  _ ‘A future? With Oikawa?’ _ , pounded inside his thoughts. He quickly pulled himself away from Oikawa, returning to the bowl of cereal he was preparing for himself, in an effort to hide his obvious change in pallor. “W- well”, he started, finally adding the milk to the bowl that had been sitting with dry cereal inside of it for several minutes at this point, “...what do you plan on doing, then?”. “Hm?”, came the response. When he looked up he saw Oikawa leaning against the door frame, gazing fixedly at him. Kageyama felt his face grow hotter, though he did his best to shake himself out of it. “Help”, he blurted out, “For help-- dealing with--  _ you know. _ ” The soft smile that had taken over Oikawa’s lips faded quickly as he was brought back to reality. “Oh”, he replied. He sighed then turned and pressed his back to the frame. “I made an appointment with a therapist.” Kageyama was shocked by this revelation; as much as he loved Oikawa, he couldn’t help but believe that the words the older man had been spewing since Kageyama first showed up at his condo were nothing more than lip service. The news that Oikawa was actually going to making some sort of effort to improve himself was nothing short of astounding. “You  _ did? _ For when?”. Oikawa turned back to look at Kageyama. “I  _ did. _ ”, he replied, repeating his lover’s intonations, “For this afternoon. At two.” “Really?”, the younger man marvelled, “That’s… pretty soon.” Again Kageyama was amazed; he figured the appointment would be in a few weeks or a month even-- enough time for things to go back to normal, and for Oikawa to convince himself that he didn’t need to go after all.

The older man nodded before turning back to Kageyama, who’d begun eating his cereal standing over the counter. It was clear that Oikawa wanted to say something else, but upon seeing this sight, he frowned, “Don’t you want to, like,  _ sit down  _ while you eat?”. Kageyama simply shrugged. Oikawa sighed, then walked off towards the table just outside of the small galley kitchen. As he’d hoped, Kageyama followed close by, and both men sat at the table. All that could be heard for a long while was the slight  _ crunch  _ of Kageyama’s breakfast.

Eventually Oikawa got up the courage to resume asking the question he’d meant to ask back when they were still actively talking. “Um… So…”, he started, staring down at a knot in the wooden floor, “...I think that it might be a good idea for  _ you  _ to see a therapist, too, after everything that’s happened.” He quickly glanced up to Kageyama, who had stopped eating only to frown. “I can’t afford a therapist”, the younger man said blankly before digging back into his breakfast. Oikawa leaned back in his chair and folded his arms. “Tobio-chan, you  _ know  _ that’s not even an issue. I’m only suggesting it because I would be more than willing to pay for it. After all, I… … …”. His voice trailed off, but from the pained expression that overtook his face, Kageyama knew where his mind had gone. The blue-eyed man shook his head. “To be honest, I don’t feel like I  _ need  _ a therapist. I think I dealt with--  _ that stuff--  _ just fine.” “But what about the stuff from middle school? You said you’d internalized that shit and--” “No. I’m fine. I don’t need a therapist.” “But--” As he protested, Oikawa could see a mounting frustration in the eyes of the man across the table from him, though Kageyama had fixed his gaze on the now empty bowl of cereal. Finally he looked up and, with what looked as if it were the slightest hint of a glare, said, “ _ I said no _ . I don’t need a therapist. I’m  _ fine,  _ and I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” Oikawa sat stunned.  _ What had just happened? Had Kageyama really just… snapped at him? _

“Well, okay”, he said, goosebumps raising along his arms as he tried his best to give the impression that Kageyama’s curtness hadn’t bothered him in the slightest, “I mean… I guess, just let me know if you change your mind. The offer is on the table permanently. But, um…”. Now Oikawa was having a  _ really  _ hard time getting out what he had to say; he was worried that Kageyama’s harshness might’ve been directed at the idea of therapy itself, rather than Oikawa’s offer. “...I know I have no right to ask anything of you, but… would you go with me to my appointment? You can sit in the waiting room or whatever, I just… I don’t know that I can do this alone…”.

As suddenly as his gruff affect appeared, Kageyama’s features softened, and, though his face was still entirely devoid of even the slightest hint of happiness, he softly said, “Of course I’ll go with you. ...I’m really proud of you for taking this step in the first place.” Oikawa felt a goofy smile cross his own lips, and wondered what, exactly, had changed in their dynamic.

 

Oikawa had found the therapist he’d made an appointment with through a quick google search. He had no idea what to expect when he entered the downtown office, but was pleasantly surprised by the zen approach to decor. The waiting room even  _ smelled  _ nice-- a fact he tried his best to focus on as he shifted nervously on the white faux-leather couch.

“Hey”, Kageyama whispered, “It’ll be okay.” Oikawa forced a smile and nodded. “I know… I’ve just… never done anything like this before.” The two sat in silence, holding hands, their attention coming and going from the gentle muzak that was emanating from a spherical stereo on the reception desk.

“I think, if it’s okay with you”, Kageyama started, shifting on the couch once more, “once you go in, I’m gonna run across the street to the convenience store we passed on our way here and grab a drink.” Oikawa nodded in acknowledgement and consent. After a brief pause, the younger man continued, “Do you want anything?”. Oikawa swallowed hard and shook his head. “For this to be over, I guess”, he whispered, clutching Kageyama’s hand a little tighter as his nerves started to get the best of him.

Oikawa’s wish came true mere moments later, when a stocky older woman with pin straight hair came out of the door in the corner of the room. “Mr. Oikawa?”, she asked as she approached the couple. Oikawa stood and nodded, extending his hand to meet hers. “Oikawa Tōru”, he said quietly. “Great to meet you”, she said, smiling broadly, “My name is Akane Mari, and I’ll be your counselor today. So why don’t you come on back and I’ll have you fill out a few papers, and we can get started.” Oikawa nodded, then, with one last glance back towards Kageyama, followed the older woman through the door she’d just emerged from, closing it gently behind him.

Kageyama waited two minutes before standing and leaving the small waiting room. The counselor’s office was one suite in a tall office building, and after quickly committing the room number to memory, Kageyama made his way out to the street. 

It was a brisk day, considering it was only mid-September and fall hadn’t even begun. Kageyama was glad he’d chosen to wear a long sleeve shirt, though his intentions when picking out his outfit that morning had been far from the weather.

He quickly strolled across the street and headed into the small convenience store he’d seen as they approached Oikawa’s appointment. He’d had an unusual craving for a soda and a bag of chips, and since he had the time to kill he felt a small indulgence would be appropriate. He took his time browsing the selections, and eventually settled on a lemon-lime soda and a plain bag of chips. He brought his stuff over to the counter and, after a moment, rung the small bell on the counter that bore a sign reading, “RING FOR SERVICE”. From behind a curtain behind the counter came a man’s voice, calling, “One second!”. Mere moments later, the shopkeeper appeared, offering a continuous stream of apologies for the wait until he finally looked up and saw his customer.

“Kageyama? What are you doing here?”, he asked, stunned. It was only then that the dark-haired man looked up and realized who the shopkeeper was. “Kawanishi?!”, he exclaimed, a broad grin spreading across his face. “Hey man!”, Kawanishi said, rounding the counter to hug his friend, “I haven’t seen you around lately! What’s up?”. Kageyama shrugged. “I took a week off. I wasn’t feeling too good, but I’m doing a lot better now.” “That’s good to hear”, smiled the taller man as he patted Kageyama’s shoulder. “So what brings you to my shop?”, Kawanishi asked abruptly, heading back behind the counter. The younger man shrugged. “Oikawa’s at an appointment in the area and I was in the mood for a snack. I had no idea  _ you  _ worked here, though!”. Kawanishi smiled as he leaned on the counter. “This is actually my family’s shop. I mostly work here on weekends. But, actually, the reason I chose to come to college all the way out here was  _ because  _ I have so much family here. My parents and my brother are basically my only relatives back in Sendai.” “Oh!”, exclaimed Kageyama in surprise, “I had no idea!”. 

“So what can I get you?”, Kawanishi grinned, putting on his best customer service voice. Kageyama set his purchases on the counter and Kawanishi scanned them. “Is that everything?”, the older man asked as he bagged up the chips and drink. Kageyama nodded, plunging his hand deep into his front left pocket. The jeans he was wearing were particularly tight, and he found that, in order to extract his wallet from them, he had to pull up the sleeve of his shirt. With great effort, he was finally able to pull out his wallet and began counting his bills, before quickly being interrupted. “I’m not charging you”, Kawanishi said, sliding the bag across the counter, “but-- uh-- let’s take a walk, okay?”. Before Kageyama could respond, the auburn-haired man had removed his apron, tossing it on the counter and yelling, “Grandma, I’m running out! I’ll be back in a few!”. From behind the curtain another voice called, “Alright sweetie, be careful!”, and with that, Kawanishi took Kageyama’s arm in his and led him out of the small shop.

The two walked in silence for several minutes before they arrived at a small park. Kawanishi sat down on a bench on Kageyama’s left, and as the younger man reached for his soda, Kawanishi caught his hand and quickly pulled back his sleeve. Kageyama’s wrist was painted with purple and yellow spots, which were very clearly in the shape of finger tips. The older man looked severely at Kageyama, who, after immediately trying to jerk his hand away, surrendered to the situation and sighed.

“Kageyama… is… is Oikawa abusing you?”, Kawanishi asked, true concern spread out across his face. The younger man blanched and stammered, “W- what? No! N- never!”. Kawanishi frowned. “Then what’s this from?”, he asked, nodding to the rainbow of bruises. Kageyama yanked his hand back and, pulling down his sleeve, shrugged, “It was an accident.” “You know that’s what they all say, right?”, frowned the older man. Kageyama shook his head. “It’s true, though. It-- uh-- it was just-- well… Oikawa-san was just a little bit too rough one night while we were fooling around. That’s all.”

Kawanishi’s frown deepened even further, so to the point where he formed wrinkles in his forehead. He was silent for a long moment before sighing and sitting back on the bench they’d been seated on. “....If you say so”, he frowned. A quiet fell between the two men yet again before Kawanishi turned back to Kageyama. “But-- Kageyama-- well…. Can I see your phone?”. Kageyama was thrown off by this request but nodded and, extracting his phone from his right pocket, handed it to the older man, who quickly scrolled through it. He did a little bit of typing and, moments later, returned the device to its owner. “I put my address in your phone. If you ever need anything at all-- and I mean  _ ever _ , it doesn’t matter what time of day it is, if it’s the middle of the night, whatever--  _ please  _ call me. Or you can even just show up at my place-- that’s fine too. I’m having a hard time believing that your injuries were accidental, but I can’t make you talk if you’re not willing to. What I  _ can  _ do, though, is be here for you no matter what, and offer you my unwavering support.” 

Kageyama stared at his lap as Kawanishi spoke, though when he finally looked up, a sad smile crossed his face. “Thanks, man”, he said gently, before finally opening his drink and taking a sip. Kawanishi watched as Kageyama’s smile faded to a frustrated frown and quickly added, “Oh-- and this doesn’t have anything to do with me liking you. I’m saying this all because we’re friends, and it sucks when you know that your friend is going through some shit and you can’t do anything to help. So don’t worry-- nothing but good intentions, I assure you.” Kageyama smiled and nudged Kawanishi. “You think I didn’t know that? I try not to let Oikawa’s words get into my head. We’re  _ friends.  _ Oikawa doesn’t seem to get it, but I think I know you well enough to know that you wouldn’t try anything with someone in a relationship…”. “Yeah, you’d think…”, Kawanishi laughed nervously under his breath.  

The two men sat on the bench and chatted for nearly forty five minutes before Kageyama’s phone buzzed in his pocket. He fished it out, pulling his sleeve back down the moment his hand was out, and illuminated the screen to read:

**Tōru (3:02pm):** uhhh, where are you?

_ Oops. _

With a quick apology to Kawanishi, Kageyama dashed off back down the street towards the partner that he’d accidentally completely abandoned. As he ran, he couldn’t help but wonder: what had gotten into him? He’d  _ never  _ leave Oikawa waiting before…

Was it possible that everything really  _ did  _ affect him more than he’d realized?


	20. The Gathering Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa visits Kageyama at work and the two have an important conversation.

**Tōru (1:19pm):** Hey, are you at work?  
**Tobio (1:20pm):** yeah  
**Tobio (1:20pm):** y?  
**Tōru (1:25pm):** look out the window by the fountain!

Kageyama was unsure of what to expect from this sudden demand in the middle of his work shift on the first day of October. Though he did have a fair amount of work to do, the young man obediently followed his boyfriend’s request, casually striding across the college library to a large bay window that overlooked a water fountain.

His mind raced during his short trek, wondering what possible motive Oikawa could have in making such an unusual request of him, but as soon as he arrived to the requested location, all of his questions were answered and his heart simply melted. Down below, on the ground floor, waved Oikawa, as he stood beside a large collection of fallen leaves, arranged in a display that simply read, “I ❤ TOBIO”. Kageyama grinned down at the man he loved, who stood beaming back up at him. The younger man quickly held up his index finger before darting out of view. Moments later Kageyama burst out of the door on the first floor, running up to his lover and embracing him tightly.

“Hey”, grinned Oikawa, kissing the side of Kageyama’s head as they hugged. Kageyama pulled back only far enough to look at the brunette. “What are you doing here?”, the younger man laughed, tears lingering in the corners of his eyes. Oikawa shrugged. “How else was I supposed to give you…”-- the brunette pulled away from the hug and bent down behind him, rising once more with a bouquet of flowers in hand-- “ _these?”._ Kageyama smiled broadly as he accepted the gift. “I dunno, wait for me to get home?”, he teased, smile persisting in spite of the snarky response he’d given Oikawa. “I couldn’t wait”, gushed the older man, wrapping his arms around the younger once more, “I _needed_ to see you”. A sudden thought occurred to Kageyama and, with great difficulty (considering the placement of Oikawa’s arms), he managed to fish his phone out of his pocket. “...It’s 1:30. ...seriously, Tōru, what are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be at _work?_ ”, he asked, smile fading as the reality of the situation dawned on him. Oikawa laughed and pulled away from the hug.

“No, actually”, he grinned, “We had an early dismissal. There’s supposed to be a pretty bad storm tonight. I guess some of the parents were nervous or something, I dunno.” Kageyama paused for a moment, seemingly weighing how plausible Oikawa’s excuse was, before a quick glance downwards gave way to yet another smile. “...this was really sweet, Tōru.”, blushed the younger man, beaming down at his flowers. Oikawa shrugged, “Anything to make you happy”. Kageyama still couldn’t shake the smile from his face as he turned away from the brunette. “I’m still technically on the clock”, Kageyama said, “so I need to get back in there. Are you heading home?”. Oikawa shook his head. “Nah, I’ll come watch you work. It’s not like I have anything better to do.” “Oh, it’s good to know I’m just a cure for boredom to you”, scoffed the younger man. Oikawa put an arm around Kageyama’s waist as the two walked back towards the library. “I think it’s pretty obvious that you are a _lot_ more to me than a way to kill time”, he said, nodding back to the pile of leaves behind them.

The couple slowly sauntered up to the second floor hand-in-hand. As they waited for the elevator, Kageyama turned to the older man. “So is this storm really supposed to be that big a deal?”, he asked, noting that the campus seemed to be unusually quiet. “I’m not really sure”, Oikawa shrugged, “I checked the weather forecast and it did say it was supposed to storm quite a bit, and some news outlets are even throwing around the word ‘typhoon’, but you know how the media likes to overreport stuff like this.” “Yeah”, agreed Kageyama ast the two stepped into the elevator.  

“So”, Oikawa started, turning and wrapping his arms around Kageyama, “...you wanna come wait out the storm at my place?”. His voice had dropped so that the suggestion in his voice was _quite_ clear. Much to his surprise, a troubled look crossed the younger man’s face. “I can’t”, he said sadly, “Though you’re welcome to stay with me instead.” “Why not?”, Oikawa asked, frowning deeply. “Well”, started Kageyama as he broke free of Oikawa’s grasp and stepped off of the elevator, now that it had arrived on the second floor, “Part of the deal with my Uncle is that I have to be on call in case there’s an emergency for one of the tenants in situations like this. There was only one time in the _four years_ that I’ve lived here that I had to help someone, but I can’t break my promise to him.” Oikawa’s frown deepened before suddenly resolving entirely. “Okay, well, I guess I can run home and get Alexander, and we can meet at your house…”. Kageyama, who’d been walking quickly back towards the library, stopped abruptly. “Well”, he started, frowning slightly, “I was planning on trying to finish my work as quickly as I can. I’m pretty sure, given the circumstances, that they’ll let me go home early once I’m done. So why don’t _we_ go get Alexander, and we can grab some takeout or something on our way back to my place.” Oikawa leaned in and pecked the dark-haired man on the lips. “I like the way you think”, he beamed while he pulled away. As the two stepped into the library, Oikawa turned to Kageyama, and, in a voice just slightly above a whisper, said, “You know, we wouldn’t have this problem if you’d just move in with me already.” Kageyama giggled, pecking his handsome boyfriend one more time before returning to his job.

Oikawa sat in his favorite armchair in the library and watched as Kageyama worked diligently, reshelving books as quickly as he possibly could. The brunette sat for nearly half an hour, just observing as his boyfriend weaved in and out of rows upon rows of books. His cart was all but empty when a familiar face joined him in the nonfiction MA-MC section. With a deep scowl, Oikawa pushed himself up and quickly strode over to where Kageyama stood, chatting with Kawanishi.

“‘Sup, Kawakiri”, Oikawa said with a nod, threading his arm around Kageyama’s waist as he took his place beside him. Kawanishi rolled his eyes. With no further acknowledgement of Oikawa’s presence, the auburn haired man apparently picked up his conversation with Kageyama where they left off before being interrupted. “So anyway, my evening class is cancelled. I had been hoping you’d be around to grab a bite to eat or something, but…”, Kawanishi looked deadpan over at Oikawa before turning back to Kageyama, “...judging by the sudden appearance of your _friend_ over here, I’m going to assume you already have plans.” Kageyama glanced at Oikawa who, in turn, rolled his eyes. “Sorry”, frowned Kageyama, “Maybe we can get together next week some time?”. “That’d be great”, Kawanishi said with a smile, “Don’t even worry about it. I’ll text you later.” With that, Kawanishi said goodbye and walked away from the couple. “You’re not really gonna go out with him, are you?”, whispered Oikawa, frowning at the empty space that had previously been occupied by Kawanishi. Kageyama raised an eyebrow at his boyfriend before pushing the cart towards the end of the aisle. “Of course I am”, he replied casually, pulling the top book from the last stack remaining on his cart and shoving it carefully on a shelf, “But we can talk about that later. For now, I just need to finish up these last, like, ten books, and then hopefully we can get going.”

With an understanding nod, Oikawa turned and headed back to the chair he’d been in mere moments before. ...only, someone else was now sitting in it. Kawanishi sat with his hands folded, eyes fixed on Oikawa as he strode closer and closer. When the brunette stopped a foot in front of the man he was truly beginning to loathe, Oikawa sighed, “...And I suppose there’s a reason that you’ve chosen to sit in this seat, of all the other possible seats in the library?”. Kawanishi shrugged and grinned. “I’ve seen you sitting here quite a few times, and I could only assume that there was a reason for it. I initially thought it was just because it was really comfortable, but now I can see the real reason…”. Kawanishi glanced behind Oikawa to where Kageyama stood, restocking shelves, completely oblivious to the battle that was breaking out over him mere feet away. Oikawa took a step to the right, obstructing Kawanishi’s view of his boyfriend as best as he possibly could. “It’s a good view”, shrugged Kawanishi, “I’ll be sure to come check it out more often.”

Oikawa’s skin was crawling. He _hated_ Kawanishi. He hated how brazenly he ogled Kageyama and how casually he flaunted their friendship, almost as if he truly _didn’t_ see Oikawa as anything other than a small hurdle. There were so many things that he wanted to say to the loathsome man before him, though he knew that doing so would hurt the man he’d grown to love so dearly. He also didn’t want to betray his frustration to Kawanishi-- he didn’t want the younger man to know that he had gotten under his skin so easily-- but it was getting harder and harder to watch Kageyama be treated as prey.

Oikawa forced a sneer as he looked down on Kawanishi. “Go ahead, look all you want”, laughed Oikawa, in as condescending a tone as he could possibly muster, “Because at the end of the day, I get to go home and fuck his pretty little brains out, while all you have are your memories of watching him work. It’s sad, really, to think that there are people as lonely as you are out there.” Kawanishi stood and, with one last glance at Kageyama, smiled, “Why don’t we go for a walk, huh?”. Oikawa didn’t move, though the younger man was uncomfortably close as he loomed over him. “I don’t think that’s necessary”, Oikawa replied aloofly. “Why”, laughed the auburn-haired man, “Are you _scared_ of something?”. Again Oikawa had to laugh. “Scared?”, he repeated, “Of you? _Ha!_ That’s a joke.” “Great”, grinned Kawanishi, turning towards the door, “So there’s nothing to worry about!” With one last glance back towards Kageyama, Oikawa reluctantly followed Kawanishi out of the library.

It became apparent, as the two moved through the second floor corridor, that the university truly had deemed it appropriate to dismiss their students early, as nearly every classroom they passed was completely barren.  Oikawa had only just begun to wonder where the taller man was leading him when the two came to an abrupt stop in front of the elevators. Kawanishi pressed the button marked with a down arrow and together the two stood in silence, waiting for the elevator to arrive. They watched the lights above the door illuminate in succession, starting with ‘B’, rising to ‘1’, and eventually ringing out upon hitting ‘2’. The doors slid open, revealing that the steel compartment was empty, and Kawanishi gestured for Oikawa to step in first, before entering the elevator himself. Oikawa couldn’t fathom where, exactly, this stranger was taking him. Once the doors shut, however, the questions that fluttered around his mind were immediately silenced; the auburn-haired man had quickly gripped Oikawa by the collar of his shirt, pulling him up so that his feet were only barely touching the floor.

Oikawa smirked and, despite his compromised position, laughed, “You know Tobio won’t even _talk_ to you if you so much as lay a finger on me, right?”. Though he did his best to maintain his composure, he couldn’t help how fast his heart was racing, or the beads of sweat that he could feel forming along his temple. For some reason, Kawanishi’s entire demeanor seemed incredibly severe, from the deep lines in his forehead to the deathly serious look in his eyes. _‘If looks could kill’,_ Oikawa thought to himself, _‘I would’ve been dead the second we stepped into this elevator.’_

“I don’t care if Kageyama hates me from the bottom of his heart”, Kawanishi growled, pulling Oikawa slightly higher, “ _If you lay another finger on him, I promise you, I will_ **_end_ ** _you.”_ With that, he pushed Oikawa backwards. The brunette slammed against the wall, staggering a bit to maintain his newfound footing. His cool facade cracked and a look of sheer panic blazed in his eyes. _‘How does he know?’,_ he thought to himself, staring at the floor of the elevator as he tried to reason with what was happening, _‘Did Tobio_ **_tell_ ** _him about_ **_that_ ** _? I thought he and I worked through it! Why would he--_ ’. “I saw the bruises on his arm”, Kawanishi said, interrupting Oikawa’s hysterical inner monologue as he folded his own arms resolutely, “He tried to brush it off-- tried to say that you were just a little bit too rough one night when you guys were-- _ugh--_ ‘fooling around’, as he put it. But the look in his eyes told me everything I needed to know.” “And what’s that?”, Oikawa choked out, still reeling from the sudden confrontation. Kawanishi looked down at Oikawa, staring directly into his copper eyes, and said, “Well, that I was right, of course. I told you the first day we _met_ that I knew for a fact you were going to hurt Kageyama. And, surprise, surprise, you did-- and far worse than I imagined you would, too, apparently.”

These words hit Oikawa like a train.

_He was right._  
_Hinata was right.  
_ _They were all right._

So many people had said that Oikawa was going to hurt Kageyama, and though he truly did not mean to hurt the younger man, and though he adored him and couldn’t imagine life without him, the fact of the matter was that he _did_ hurt Kageyama, and in just about the worst way one could hurt another.

_He was right._

These words throbbed over and over in the front of Oikawa’s mind, and though it was clear that the older man was truly struggling, Kawanishi, having not an ounce of mercy to his name when it came to Oikawa Tōru, was not quite finished. He lowered his arms and took a small step, closing the gap between the two. Leaning in, without breaking eye contact, he continued, “From here on out, I’m not going to play nicely. I _will_ take Kageyama from you, and I’ll treat him a thousand times better than you could, whether I have money or not. Like I said: You don’t deserve him. And if you so much as--”.

In the middle of his sentence, the elevator lurched and the doors suddenly began to slide apart. Kawanishi took a step back from Oikawa, hoping that who ever was on the other side wouldn’t think that something uncouth was going on. The two watched the metal panels separate, and both men gasped upon seeing that it was Kageyama standing in front of the elevator, so intensely focused on his phone that he didn’t even realize who his company was until he had already stepped inside the compartment with them.

“Tōru? Kawanishi? What are you guys doing here?”, he asked bewilderedly. Before Oikawa could respond, Kawanishi laughed, “Oh, I was just going up to check if I left one of my notebooks in my last class. I was surprised to run into Oikawa-san out here, too!”. The grin on his face turned Oikawa’s stomach, and he couldn’t help but scoff at the sudden use of honorifics. Kageyama turned to Oikawa and raised an eyebrow. “Where did _you_ go?”, he asked the older man, “I was just texting you-- I couldn’t imagine where you went.” Glancing to Kawanishi, Oikawa shrugged, “I wasn’t feeling well, so I decided to step out for some fresh air.” “Without your jacket?”, Kageyama asked, gesturing to the lightweight garment that was draped over his arm, resting carefully under his bouquet of flowers. Oikawa simpered, “It was pretty urgent”. Eyeing the other two men suspiciously, Kageyama reached out and pressed the button marked ‘1’. Once the elevator started moving, Kageyama frowned and turned to look at his classmate. “I’m sorry-- I didn’t even think--”, he said, looking to Kawanishi, “You were supposed to get off there, weren’t you?”. Kawanishi laughed heartily and shook his head. “While Oikawa-san and I were on our way up, I realized that I didn’t even _have_ that notebook in class today. I literally cannot imagine what I did with it.” Kageyama laughed, “Oh, okay!”, and together the three stepped out onto the ground floor.

“Those are some beautiful flowers”, Kawanishi said, smiling sweetly as they made their way down the corridor towards the exit. “Thank you!”, beamed Kageyama, “Tōru surprised me with them!”. “How lovely!”, Kawanishi enthused, turning to Oikawa and smiling grandly. The brunette knew that this was some sort of set up, and that something else was waiting on the other side of the compliments, but he was not entirely sure how to respond. If he replied sarcastically or aggressively, Kageyama would be upset. But if he replied kindly, he’d likely be walking right into whatever trap Kawanishi had set for him. After a long moment with no response from Oikawa, Kawanishi’s smile wavered slightly, a look of annoyance clear in his eyes. “I guess you’re used to such sweet surprises, though, right?”, he beamed. Kageyama looked quizzically up at him. “Well… no”, he replied with a soft chuckle, “...If I was used to them, they wouldn’t be surprises, right?”. Kawanishi laughed again. “You’re right! I just meant-- I’m sure you’re used to getting thoughtful gifts from Oikawa-san, right? I mean, I was a broke college kid when I was in my last relationship, but I still showered my last boyfriend with flowers and chocolates on a daily basis-- and we didn’t have _nearly_ the history that you two have!”. Oikawa did his very best to maintain a cheerful exterior, in spite of his mounting fury over everything that had happened in the last five minutes. _‘So this is what he meant when he said he wasn’t going to ‘play nice’ anymore’,_ the brunette thought to himself, as he used every ounce of self control to avoid glaring at the other man. Much to his surprise, Kageyama laughed.

“Your ex must’ve been quite spoiled then, huh!”, he said, grinning up at Kawanishi, “That would probably be too much for me, though. Tōru surprises me like this every once in a while-- often enough so that I know how much I mean to him, but sparingly enough that I don’t get used to it or come to expect it. Every little surprise he has for me actually winds up being just that-- a _surprise.”_

Oikawa reached out and gently caught Kageyama’s free hand in his. He couldn’t lie-- he initially had been quite intimidated by Kawanishi’s threat to steal Kageyama. But, in his intimidation, he’d forgotten a crucial factor in the equation: Kageyama truly and sincerely loved him, and wouldn’t _let_ himself be stolen away.

Kawanishi forced a smile, though the look in his eyes made it clear that he was _not_ happy that his gambit had failed. Oikawa was sure that this would not be the end of Kawanishi’s ploy to steal away Kageyama, but for now he was satisfied that his boyfriend knew how to handle himself.

 

Kageyama’s inadvertent defense of Oikawa’s nice gesture had given the brunette a great amount of security in their relationship, though throughout their errands, he still could not shake the words that Kawanishi had said.

 _‘I was right’._  
_‘You don’t deserve him.’  
__‘I_ **_will_ ** _take Kageyama from you.’_

After Alexander was retrieved and dinner was purchased and eaten, Kageyama wrapped his arms around the brunette, who was finishing up the dishes, and asked, “What’s the matter? You’ve been unusually quiet tonight.” Oikawa glanced over his shoulder and smiled faintly. “Sorry”, he said with a shrug, “‘just thinking.” Kageyama released his grip of the older man, stepping, instead, beside him and turning off the faucet. “What’s _wrong_ ?”, he begged, frowning deeply as he spoke, “I _know_ you. I _know_ that something’s bothering you. And the last thing I want is for you to storm out of here and go get another pack of cigarettes.” The look on Oikawa’s face plainly betrayed his thoughts: _‘I could definitely use a smoke right now’._

The younger man reached over and grabbed the dish from Oikawa’s hands, setting it down in the sink before grabbing Oikawa’s hands themselves. “Tōru”, he said solemnly, “ _Talk_ to me. _Please._ ” Oikawa rolled his eyes and sighed, “Have you _always_ been this persistent?”. The younger man shrugged and laughed, “Who knows? If I hadn’t broken my wrist, I might _still_ be asking you to teach me your serve!” At this, Oikawa had to laugh; Kageyama was probably right. With a resigned frown, the brunette dried his hands before leading the younger man over to the couch.

Kageyama sat staring expectantly at Oikawa for a long while before the older man sighed. “It’s really nothing”, Oikawa said, shrugging, “I just feel icky every time I see that guy.” “‘That guy’?”, Kageyama repeated. Oikawa rolled his eyes and grunted, “Kawanishi.” The younger man’s face dropped. After a long pause, he asked, “ _Really?_...You’ve been getting bent out of shape all evening because of _Kawanishi?”._ Oikawa simpered. He wasn’t about to tell Kageyama about the threat that Kawanishi had made against him; as far as he was concerned, no good could possibly come of doing so.

The two sat and talked together for a long while. Though the conversation started with Kawanishi, it wandered through various topics, from Oikawa’s job to the storm, to their next date, to the dream Kageyama had last night, but through it all, Kawanishi’s words stood in the forefront of Oikawa’s mind: _I was right._

The storm was well underway, with bright flashes of lightning and the deep, mournful howl of powerful gusts, when both Kageyama and Oikawa’s phones went off simultaneously. The two exchanged curious glances before Kageyama stood, crossing the room to the kitchen, where both men had plugged their devices in (just in case the power went out). He picked up his own phone and looked at it with a frown before glancing to Oikawa’s.

“Well?”, asked the brunette, craning his head over the back of the couch to see what it could possibly have been. Kageyama looked troubled as he returned to the couch. “Here”, he said, handing his phone off to Oikawa.

The first thing the brunette saw was that facebook’s messenger client was up, and a message addressed solely to Oikawa and Kageyama was on the screen; the sender was Hanamaki.

 _Hey guys,_ it read, _I just wanted to know for sure if you were planning on coming to Iwaizumi’s bachelor party on the 21st. We have to give in our final numbers tomorrow, and while I know you both live really far away now, I’m sure that it would make Iwaizumi really happy to see you both. Not to pressure you or anything! Just let me know whether you’ll be coming or not as soon as possible. Thanks!_

Oikawa’s stomach turned; the last person on Earth he wanted to think about at that moment was Iwaizumi. He looked up at Kageyama and frowned. “What do you think?”, he asked, extending his hand to return Kageyama’s phone. The younger man shrugged slightly. “You know”, he started, “I really think that--”. Before he could finish his sentence, both his phone and Oikawa’s sang out once more. He glanced quickly at the device that had only just landed in his palm, smiled slightly, and mumbled, “Aww”, before offering the phone back to Oikawa. The brunette took the phone cautiously and saw that it was yet another message from Hanamaki.

_Oh, by the way, I saw that you two are together now-- talk about a surprise! I just wanted to congratulate you guys :) I hope it goes well for you both :) :) :)_

At this point Oikawa felt as if he was going to be sick; _what was ‘aww’ about that?_ He didn’t _want_ Hanamaki’s congratulations. He didn’t want _anyone’s_ congratulations. He was happy to be with Kageyama, and didn’t feel like he really needed anyone else’s approval-- especially not anyone who had been buried in his past.

“Anyway”, Kageyama continued, his smile still lingering at the corners of his lips, “I honestly think that we should go.” Oikawa cocked his head slightly. Of all the responses that Kageyama could’ve had, this was the one that the brunette expected the least. After all, everything bad that had happened in their relationship-- hell, even everything bad that happened _before_ their relationship, all those years ago-- happened because of Oikawa’s unresolved feelings for Iwaizumi. Yet somehow Kageyama was not only okay with the thought of seeing him again, but actually _encouraged_ it? All the older man could do was gape.

Kageyama smiled softly before continuing on. “I’ve actually been thinking about this a lot, but I wasn’t really sure how to address it with you. But, I think it would be good for us to go-- _both_ of us. _Together._ I’m not sure if your therapist has touched on this or not, but I really think that you probably need some sort of closure when it comes to Iwaizumi-san. I think the way he ended it was too abrupt, and left you with too many questions.” Kageyama paused briefly to let Oikawa either agree or disagree with him, but when neither happened, he continued on. “And, on top of that, my family is having a huge party that same day.” Oikawa frowned at this revelation, but Kageyama waved his hands as he quickly tried to explain himself. “I didn’t tell you yet because if we’re not going to Iwaizumi-san’s bachelor party, I wouldn’t want to make that journey all by myself just because my aunt is turning sixty. But if we’re both going, we could get a hotel room and go down and--”

“Wait”, started Oikawa, though he was still processing all the information that was being thrown at him, “...I’m not sure I understand. You just said that the party was on the same day?”. Kageyama nodded. “What I was thinking about doing was going to Iwaizumi-san’s party for a few hours, and then excusing myself and meeting up with my family around 8 or so. And then, depending on whatever’s going on with both parties, we could either meet back up at the bachelor party, or we can meet back at the hotel.” Oikawa frowned. “Why not just go to your aunt’s thing?”, he asked.

“Well, like I said… I don’t want to go to Sendai without you. But since I’m not technically ‘out’ to my family, it’s not like you can join me… and… well…”. Kageyama fell silent as Oikawa watched on, curious as to why his boyfriend’s pallor was beginning to resemble a freshly painted fire hydrant.

“W- well…”, Kageyama stuttered, struggling to get the words out, “...I was thinking…”. Finally Oikawa huffed and demanded, “Out with it!”. A shocked looking Kageyama jumped and confessed, “I was thinking about coming out to my parents if I went!”. Now it was Oikawa’s turn to look shocked. He sat there, silently stunned, as Kageyama’s face somehow managed to grow even redder. Finally the older man reached out and took Kageyama’s hands in his. “You… you’re really thinking about telling them about _us_?”, he asked. The younger man finally summoned up the courage to look his lover in the eye before nodding. “Yeah…”.

The two were silent for a long minute before Kageyama continued, “Well-- it’s just-- We’ve been talking about moving in together, and my family’s probably gonna ask me a thousand questions about why I’d want to move somewhere else rather than live rent free. And I mean… Even if it goes terribly, I’m just about to graduate, so it’s not like my parents can withhold the only thing _they_ have over my head. And, like, if my uncle wanted to kick me out… well, I have somewhere else to go, right?”. Kageyama looked to Oikawa for confirmation, and the older man nodded happily.

“Tobio, I… I’m really proud of you”, he said, squeezing Kageyama’s hands gently, “You know I don’t really talk to my family. I mean, when we’re thinking about getting married, I’ll obviously tell them, but until then I don’t feel any sort of obligation to share anything about my life, really. So I can’t imagine how stressful this must be for you. But… I’m really grateful that our relationship is so important to you that you’re willing to risk everything for it.”

Kageyama looked to his lap and for a moment Oikawa worried that he’d said something wrong. When the younger man looked back up, however, he was wearing an impossibly grand smile as he repeated, “...’ _when_ we’re thinking about getting married’?”. Now it was Oikawa’s turn to blush, though he did his best to hide this fact by throwing a pillow at the younger man.

Fifteen minutes and one full-on pillow fight later, the two settled against the couch together, with Kageyama leaning against Oikawa’s shoulder, while the older man had an arm comfortably wrapped around him.

“So, you really think we should go?”, Oikawa asked. Kageyama looked up at him, pecked his cheek, and nodded, “Yeah, I do.” Oikawa sighed before resting his head on top of Kageyama’s. “Well”, the brunette started, “Why don’t we make a weekend of it? I’ll get us a nice hotel room and take off the Friday before. We can take the train down and-- _ugh--_ if you want, I guess it’d be the optimal time to see your old friends…”.

Kageyama grinned broadly. “You mean it?!”, he exclaimed happily. Oikawa couldn’t help but smile at how excited Kageyama was. “Yeah, I guess”, he laughed, “It’s not every day that we’re back in Miyagi, so I guess we might as well…”. Kageyama quickly sprung up and reached out for his phone. “I’ll respond to Makki and text everyone from Karasuno!”, he exclaimed, “Why don’t you start looking for hotels and train tickets?”. Oikawa frowned and glanced back at his phone, which was still sitting on the kitchen counter. “But… it’s so far away…”, he whined, pantomiming grabbing his phone from across the room with his free hand.

With one more smirk, Kageyama laughed, “ _Fine_ , we can do both together on my phone”. As the younger man began typing out his response to Oikawa’s former teammate, the older man looked on, a sickening feeling in the pit of his stomach. When the thunder roared and all the lights went out mere moments later, Oikawa couldn’t help but look at this as a bad omen, though the younger man seemed completely oblivious as he happily typed out his message to all his old teammates.

 _‘It’ll be okay’,_ Oikawa reassured himself while taking in measured breaths, _‘Everything will be okay.’_


	21. Karasuno Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama and Oikawa head back to Miyagi, where the two men meet up with Kageyama's old teammates.

“So once we get to the station, we have an hour to get to the hotel, get settled, and walk across town to the bar.”   
“You _know_ I’m calling a cab, right?”  
“ _Ugh.”_  
_“What?!_ You said it was like, a mile away! And after travelling _all day,_ I am _not_ going to spend another _half hour_ traversing the city. I mean-- by all means, if your heart is set on walking, _you_ can, and I’ll meet you there, but--”

In all honesty, Oikawa was grateful to be bickering with his lover. It helped to distract him from the lump that had settled in his throat on the night they’d decided to go back to Miyagi, which had only grown in size exponentially with each day that passed over the previous three weeks, to the point where he felt as if he were sitting with a bowling ball lodged in his trachea.

Oikawa didn’t  _ want  _ to go to Iwaizumi’s bachelor party. Oikawa didn’t want to go to Sendai at all. If he had his way, he’d never have ventured further north of Tokyo so long as he lived. But this wasn’t about Oikawa and what  _ he  _ wanted; this was about Kageyama, to whom Oikawa felt he owed a lifetime of favors and debts after everything that had happened between the two. So if Kageyama wanted to go back home and take a long walk down memory road, that was precisely what they were going to do. But that didn’t mean that Oikawa was going to be happy about it. No… in truth, he was sincerely dreading the weekend ahead of him. 

He wasn’t tremendously eager to see any of Kageyama’s old friends from Karasuno, especially considering the last time he’d seen the handful of them that he  _ had  _ seen; he’d hoped that this reunion might be a bit more pleasant, though he wouldn’t be holding his breath on that front, either. If word had gotten back to Miyagi, either via Kageyama or Kawanishi, about the little  _ incident  _ the couple had had, Oikawa was sure he’d be instantly ejected from the bar the group was meeting at.

The brunette also found himself surprisingly nervous about Kageyama’s decision to come out to his family. Over the previous three weeks, the two had discussed the younger man’s plan in great detail, and though Oikawa was worried that Kageyama might be getting ahead of himself, the younger man was resolute in his decision. “Even if I don’t marry you”, Kageyama sighed in frustration, “One day, my family is going to have to find out that I’m gay. And-- well-- I guess if there was anyone ever worth, you know,   _ ‘bringing home to mom’ _ , it’s you.” “I don’t know about that”, Oikawa muttered, suddenly feeling very much inadequate, only to be met with a shrug from his partner. “I mean, if we’re just talking basic, superficial shit. You’re extremely attractive. You’re an award-winning professional. You own your own condo. You’re intelligent and well-spoken. On the outside-- I’d say a pretty perfect partner.” “On the outside…”, repeated the older man quietly, earning a smirk from Kageyama. “So even if my parents  _ abhor  _ the fact that I’m gay-- well-- they honestly couldn’t complain about my choice in partner, really. I mean, outside from the fact that you’re a man.”

Oikawa’s stomach turned as he thought back on the conversation that he and Kageyama had repeated at least half a dozen times since the younger man expressed his intentions. His leg began to shake in an unconscious effort to quell his nerves, but when Kageyama reached out to still the repetitive motion, the brunette’s self-control wavered once more and, against his own better judgement, he blurted out, “And you’re  _ sure  _ you have no idea how your parents are gonna react to this?”. Kageyama didn’t need any further insight as to what the meaning behind the incredibly vague question was; since the two had decided to go back to Sendai, Oikawa’s conversation topics were limited to just a handful of topically relevant worries. 

With a sigh, the blue-eyed man nodded resolutely, lacing his fingers in Oikawa’s before saying, “ _ Yes.  _ For the  _ thousandth time, yes.  _ I have no idea how they’re going to react. My family’s a really loving bunch of people, but they’re also pretty distant. We’ve never really had in depth conversations about our opinions on things like this, and, to my knowledge, no one else in my family is gay.” “So do you think they’ll be surprised?”, Oikawa asked, eyes fixed on the blur of scenery whizzing past them as he tried not to let his anxiety shine too fiercely through his words. Kageyama shrugged indifferently. “Surprised? ...maybe, I guess. I don’t really know. I mean, it’s not like I ever brought girls home, or even expressed an interest in girls. And if it’s something that was on their radar, they probably would’ve noticed just how close Shōyō and I used to sit and stuff like that. But, like I’ve said, I really have no way of judging this. I  _ hope  _ they’ll be happy for me, but if not, that’s fine. It’s not like I’m planning on moving back to Miyagi any time too soon.”

Oikawa frowned at his own reflection in the window. He couldn’t help but think,  _ ‘is this really okay?’.  _ Ever since he and Iwa-chan broke up, his life’s mission was to leave as little an impact as humanly possible on the lives of those around him. He didn’t  _ want  _ to meet his partner’s friends or families. He didn’t want to be in photos or friends on social media. He had his needs, which he endeavored to ensure were met, but outside of that, he never so much as wanted to  _ hear _ that he was occupying the thoughts of others. What had happened, then, that had made everything he knew-- everything he thought and felt, every life policy he had-- go out the window? 

The weight of Kageyama’s head leaning against his shoulder broke through his panicked thoughts, reminding him that he already knew the answer. Adjusting his posture so that his arm was gently wrapped around the younger man, Oikawa planted a kiss on the top of Kageyama’s head and sighed. 

He was in love. He couldn’t help himself. Kageyama had tried so hard to please him, had done everything in his power to keep him happy. Kageyama truly and sincerely loved him for who he was-- not just for what he showed others-- and Oikawa couldn’t help but adore him in return. Their relationship had been frighteningly easy, and he wasn’t sure that he could handle the thought of anything going wrong. So if that meant keeping their union a secret from their families for the rest of their lives, so be it.

As fixated as he was on this one issue, however, Oikawa could not deny that the greatest source of anxiety for him through all of this was the thought of seeing Iwaizumi once more. It had been over six years since he’d last seen the man who burned a hole through his heart-- a hole he’d been certain would never be able to be mended. That is, until Kageyama came along. And the last time they’d seen each other hadn’t exactly been  _ pleasant.  _

So now what? Was Oikawa just expected to stroll into Iwaizumi’s bachelor party with Kageyama on his arm acting like nothing had ever happened? Was he supposed to go in and pretend that everything was A-Okay, and that he was happy to be celebrating his old friend’s engagement when, in reality, that very friend had been the one to destroy his entire world for over half a decade? And how was he supposed to  _ act  _ around Iwa-chan? Was he supposed to act excited to see his old friend? Was he just supposed to ignore him (and at his own bachelor party)? He was getting more concerned with each second that passed that  _ something  _ was going to happen, and that Kageyama would either end up hurt or embarrassed or ashamed of his partner. But, for the life of him, Oikawa couldn’t imagine  _ what _ \-- although that didn’t stop his racing mind from trying endlessly, proposing a new, more exaggerated scenario each time his thoughts so much as approached the subject. 

He had a bad feeling about all this.

\---

The train pulled into the station in Sendai just after 4:30 in the afternoon and, as he said he would, Oikawa immediately called a car to come get the couple and tote them three quarters of a mile down the main thoroughfare. And though Kageyama couldn’t help but joke about what a spoiled brat his boyfriend was, in truth, he was grateful to not have to spend any more time travelling than necessary.

Predictably, Oikawa had chosen the nicest hotel in the city (or rather, in  _ that section  _ of the city; there was one nicer hotel on the far east border of Sendai that Kageyama needed to continually remind Oikawa was not practical for their visit, especially since all of the places they were planning on going were within walking distance of the hotel they’d eventually wound up at). Valets flanked the two men the moment they stepped into the lobby, taking their suitcase and escorting them to reception, where the couple was thanked to the point of excess for choosing to stay at their hotel.

Not fifteen minutes after deboarding their train, Oikawa and Kageyama stepped into their luxurious suite, which, despite being over 400 miles away from home, somehow reminded both men of Oikawa’s condo. The decor was modern, sleek, and sultry, not to mention tremendously spacious. Once past the front hall, Oikawa snickered and, with an elbow to the younger man’s side, jeered, “Geez, this place is bigger than your entire apartment!”. Kageyama rolled his eyes and sighed, “Go ahead, keep up the jokes, and you’ll be visiting me at my tiny little apartment for a couple more years.” Oikawa pouted, grumbled, “ _ Fine… killjoy” _ , and together the two toured the rest of the room. 

The front hall ultimately opened up into a recessed living area, behind which was a respectably sized kitchen, considering the fact that it was still, ultimately, a hotel. The wall to the right of the kitchen area was almost entirely floor-to-ceiling window panes, with the exception of the two panels that actually made up a sliding glass door, which then opened onto the patio. Straight past the living area was a large, dimly lit bedroom, off of which branched a large bathroom complete with shower and a jacuzzi-style bathtub. 

While Kageyama most certainly did not condone the amount of money Oikawa surely had to spend for the two of them to stay in such a room for three nights (and truthfully would’ve been completely content staying at the city’s cheap ¥5000 hotel), he couldn’t help but be impressed. 

“So”, started Oikawa as the two explored the suite, coming up behind Kageyama and quickly slipping his hand beneath the hem of his shirt, “ _ How  _ much time did you say we had until we had to meet up with your friends?”. Kageyama snorted and turned towards the brunette, putting some space between them as he did so. “An hour”, he replied coolly, “ _ Just  _ an hour.” The older man stuck out his lower lip in his trademark pout. “What’s  _ that  _ supposed to mean?”, Oikawa sulked, closing the gap between the two men once more. Placing a hand on his lover’s chest, Kageyama scowled, “You  _ know  _ what it means. We don’t have time for sex. Besides, I don’t want to go to the bar all  _ sweaty. _ ”

Kageyama watched as a strange series of emotions played out across Oikawa’s face. At first the brunette looked undeterred by the younger man’s words, moving his hands forward in a clear effort to grasp Kageyama by the waist. But then… he stopped, withdrew his hands, and set them down at his side, balled into loose fists. His face bore a look of uncertainty and frustration. Then, looking back up at Kageyama, he forced a smile and shrugged, “Okay, so how do you want to kill the hour we have, then?”. Kageyama gaped. “...that’s  _ it?”,  _ he asked, frowning deeply. Oikawa cocked his head. “What do you mean?”, he asked innocently, which somehow frustrated Kageyama even more. The shorter man furrowed his brow. “Normally”, he started, “You wouldn’t care that I rejected you, and you would keep trying.” “Yeah”, shrugged Oikawa, “but that’s not healthy behavior. You set a boundary and it is my job to respect it. ...it’s one of the things I’ve been working out in therapy.”

The dark haired man’s frown deepened. “I…”, he started, unsure of where his sentence was headed, “...I appreciate the effort you’re going through to try to make things better, but… well, I wish you would’ve  _ talked  _ to me about this.” With a raised eyebrow, Oikawa cocked his head and asked, “What do you mean?”. An exasperated sigh escaped the younger man’s lips as he strode over to the bed, sitting gingerly on the edge. “Well…”, he started, “...I  _ liked  _ that you’ve always been so-- um--  _ forward.  _ I don’t know, it might be crazy, but I always kind of felt like it was a compliment-- like you were so into me that you physically couldn’t wait anymore.” “Yeah, but Tobio, I mean… I  _ hurt  _ you. That’s not okay. That’s--” “I  _ know.  _ I understand why you’re working on this, but that doesn’t mean that’s what  _ I  _ want.” Oikawa’s heart dropped as he slowly lowered himself next to his boyfriend. “I… I don’t really know what to say”, he said quietly, “I thought what I was doing was right.” Kageyama sighed and let his head fall onto Oikawa’s shoulder. “It’s not  _ wrong”,  _ he reassured, “but, you know, I wish you’d talk to me. I love you and everything that comes with you, including your pushiness when it comes to sex. I  _ know  _ you feel bad-- believe me, I know-- but the only thing you can really do to fix things is just to never let it happen again. That’s all.” 

After a brief silence, Oikawa slowly started, “So… what you’re saying is… we can fuck?”. Kageyama snorted; it was reassuring to know that Oikawa never actually changed, and was still fundamentally the Oikawa Tōru he knew and loved.

With an exaggerated sigh, the younger man relented, “ _ Fine.  _ But let’s hurry up-- I wanna make sure we get there on time.”

Oikawa wasted no time in pressing his lips to Kageyama’s, climbing over and straddling the younger man’s legs, pushing him down onto the bed. His left hand slid back up Kageyama’s shirt, drawing a shiver from the younger man who, pulling away, whispered,  _ “Cold hands”.  _ Oikawa grinned down at his lover and whispered,  _ “Help me warm them up.” _

It wasn’t long before both men were completely naked, fully intertwined as the brunette seemed intent on devouring Kageyama, given the enthusiasm with which he was kissing him. His hand had dipped between Kageyama’s legs and was slowly stroking him, drawing long, deep shudders as Kageyama’s desire mounted. With a slight, raspy chuckle, Kageyama asked, “Are we gonna fuck or what?”. 

It was impossible to ignore the fact that their sex life had suffered greatly at the hands of Oikawa’s terrible decision making and total failure to cope over a month and a half prior. Kageyama in particular was very frustrated by this, as he felt that it was tremendously unfair to him. He hadn’t done anything wrong, but still felt like he was being punished, as Oikawa-- terrified of hurting his beloved boyfriend once more-- had inadvertently withdrawn physically, so that their daily sex life had withered away to the point where Kageyama counted himself lucky if they were intimate once a week. They’d had countless long discussions in which Kageyama  _ begged  _ the brunette to go back to the way things used to be, but Oikawa had a very difficult time initiating anything without intrusive memories of the things Kageyama told him he’d done throbbing in the forefront of his mind.

Kageyama could’ve kicked himself when his first reaction to Oikawa’s rare advance was to turn him down; however, as he moved to get onto his hands and knees, he felt nothing but gratitude that the situation had somehow resolved in a way where they still got to have sex. 

He’d just placed his left palm on the mattress when a hand caught his wrist. Turning back, he was surprised to see Oikawa looking somewhat sheepish, before the blushing brunette said, “Wait… Can… can you lay on your back? I… I mean-- I understand if you’re not okay with it but-- I, well… I’d like to see you.” 

The younger man rolled back over, unable to hide his grin, and purred “How can I say no?”.

\---

The couple walked into the bar ten minutes late-- half an hour later than Kageyama had wanted to show up-- looking slightly less composed than they’d looked when they arrived in town. The group had reserved a private room when they set up the gettogether, and Kageyama was not disappointed by the turnout. 

Nearly everyone from Kageyama’s first-year team was there already by the time they arrived. In one corner sat the former third years-- Daichi, Sugawara, and Asahi-- having a raucous discussion that was clearly at Asahi’s expense. Across the table, giggling, sat Kiyoko, beside her boyfriend of nearly a year, Tanaka (the whole team had been surprised by the announcement of their union, but Kiyoko put it quite simply: Tanaka was nothing if not tenacious). Beside Sugawara sat a reluctant-looking Tsukishima, swirling the cocktail that he was gazing emptily into. Kageyama had to surmise that this reluctance was because of Yamaguchi’s last minute cancellation-- as he was walking into the bar, he’d received a text message from Yamaguchi, sent to the group chat, that said, “Hey guys, I’m really sorry but I’m not going to be able to make it tonight :( I got a really bad cold, and I hoped it would maybe be better by now but it’s not. I’m sorry I’m gonna miss seeing you, @Kageyama, but definitely let me know the next time you’re in town!”. Kageyama was honestly surprised that Tsukishima had shown in the first place, though he quickly realized that the timing of Yamaguchi’s text may have been intentional. What  _ did  _ confuse Kageyama, however, was his realization that there were two mostly-empty glasses in the place setting on the other side of the surly blonde; he couldn’t imagine who they belonged to.

Oikawa couldn’t help but nervously grip his boyfriend’s hand as the two walked in to the private room. After all, his last encounter with the boys of Karasuno was far from pleasant, and if anyone had gotten wind of some of the problems he and Kageyama had been having, he was sure that this visit would be even worse. He was quite surprised, then, when he was welcomed warmly by all present. Daichi grinned and raised his glass to the brunette, while Sugawara actually stood, crossed the room, and embraced the couple warmly. “I’m so glad to see you two”, he said gently as he pulled away from Oikawa. The brunette found his face inexplicably flushed. He returned the smile softly, thanking the ash-blonde while unconsciously searching his eyes, suddenly flooded with the same thoughts he’d entertained of the former setter back when they were opponents. He just couldn’t help but think that the man before him was incredibly sly and shrewd, and knew a good deal more than he let on. 

As the two seated themselves, Kageyama next to Tanaka and Oikawa next to Kageyama, the bald-headed young man reached over and jovially slapped Oikawa on the shoulder. “Nice to see you again, Nice Guy!”, grinning broadly at his own call back. He leaned backwards and, gesturing to Kiyoko, smiled, “I don’t know if you remember Karasuno’s manager from back in the day, but this is my girlfriend, Kiyoko Shimizu. Kiyoko-chan, this is Kageyama’s boyfriend, Oikawa Tōru.” The young woman gently extended her hand and, with a reserved smile, said, “Yes, I remember Oikawa-san quite well”. Oikawa shook Kiyoko’s petite hand delicately before nodding, “Of course I remember your beauty of a manager.” Before Tanaka even had the chance to get jealous, though, Oikawa returned the shoulder clap and grinned, “Nice work!”

It wasn’t until a few minutes after they’d gotten themselves settled that Kageyama raised an eyebrow and glanced around the room. Across the table was spread a tremendous variety of appetizers and shareable foods, and everyone seemed to have their own drinks, but there was neither a waiter that had checked in on them nor a call bell on the table. Sugawara, ever conscious of the needs of others, leaned across Tsukishima and smiled, “You gotta order drinks at the bar if you guys want some.” Kageyama nodded then looked to his boyfriend. “Is there anything you want?”, he asked quietly. Oikawa smiled and slid his hand onto Kageyama’s thigh. “I got it”, he whispered with a wink, before standing up and formally excusing himself. “I’ll be right back”, the brunette grinned, slipping out of the room, intent on getting his boyfriend whatever the finest drink that particular bar served was.

As he stood at the surprisingly crowded bar waiting for the bartender to take his order, Oikawa was shocked when his eyes suddenly met with a pair that resonated in his mind as eyes he recognized. A doubletake revealed the owner to be none other than Hinata Shōyō, who was standing directly across the bar, presumably also waiting for his drink order to be taken. A light flush crossed the brunette’s face and Oikawa quickly turned back to the bartender, hopeful that a flash of his extra-charming special-occasion-only smile could earn him immediate service. Unfortunately, the bartender was up to her elbows in drink orders and wholly failed to notice the extra charm being directed at her. As he absent-mindedly drummed his fingers on the wooden bartop, a familiar face appeared next to him. 

“I am  _ genuinely  _ surprised to see you here”, started Hinata disdainfully, eyes fixed on the bartender as he spoke, “...I suppose I should take this to mean that you and Tobio are still together?”. Oikawa slowly turned to look at the younger man. He was somewhat surprised to realize just how short the redhead really was-- it seemed that he truly hadn’t grown since early high school. The brunette struggled to read the expression on Hinata’s face, ultimately electing to follow the younger man’s lead and focus his own gaze on the bartender as well. “I wouldn’t be here if we werent”, Oikawa shrugged, the beginnings of a malicious smile curling up in the corner of his lips. He had no way of guessing what Hinata Shōyō’s motives for this conversation were, but given their last encounter, the taller man elected to immediately go on the defensive, just to be safe. 

It was a moment before a small voice came from beside him. “I… I’m glad”, said Hinata, eyes unwavering from their fixation on the bartender. Oikawa was stunned. “You…  _ are?” _ , he asked in disbelief, more certain than ever that he was walking into a semantic trap. The redhead finally broke his gaze and turned to look up at Oikawa, who was surprised to see what looked like the slightest hint of tears beginning to form in the younger man’s amber eyes. Hinata nodded once. He took a deep breath, then turned back to the bar.

“Ever since I last saw Tobio, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. And, well… he was right. I  _ was  _ unfair to him. I  _ was  _ embarrassed of my sexuality, and instead of trying to work on it, I simply hid Tobio when our relationship was inconvenient, and only took him out to play when I needed him. I never thought about how my behavior affected him, and I’m honestly deeply ashamed that I could hurt someone I loved so badly.” The two stood and said nothing for a long moment before Oikawa, clearing his throat, broke the silence. “...is that why you haven’t contacted him?”, he asked, disdain seeping through his every word; it was unintentional, but Oikawa, being well aware that his boyfriend was still hurting at the hands of the redhead, couldn’t help himself. Hinata looked down to the floor and ran an anxious hand through his hair. “Honestly? ...Yes. That's  _ exactly  _ why I haven’t reached out. I miss him terribly,  and I’ve done a lot of growing up over the last couple of months— probably more than I did the last couple of years combined. But for some reason, I just can’t get over the absolute  _ shame  _ I feel about how treated him. I feel like… well... I feel like he’s better off without me. And you being here… well, I guess it’s proof.”

_ “Tch.” _

Oikawa rolled his eyes exaggeratedly, turning his whole body to look at the smaller man before scoffing,  “You really  _ are  _ an idiot, you know that, right?”. “E- e-  _ excuse me?!”,  _ exclaimed Hinata, who was clearly surprised by the sudden insult. Finally the brunette let a small, breathy chuckle escape. “You  _ must  _ be an idiot if you think that Tobio’s better off without you. He might be better off in a relationship with someone other than you-- with someone like me, for example-- but, really, I think you were his first  _ real  _ friend. He misses you. A lot.” 

The blonde bartender made eye contact with Oikawa and finally started to walk over to the two former-rivals. Turning back towards the bar, he added, “I think you should stop being dumb and message him.”

“Hey there, what can I get you?”, asked the bartender, leaning forward on the bar to give her cleavage a moderate boost.  All of Oikawa’s instincts screamed for him to put on his most charming expression, drop his voice to a dangerously sultry level, and try to schmooze whatever free drinks he could out of the bartender-- as was his usual M.O. However, since he was well aware that his every move was being scrutinized by his boyfriend’s ex, he did his best to resist the urge. “Uh--”, he stammered.  _ ‘Very uncool’,  _ he thought with a frown, “What do you recommend?”. The bartender leaned in even closer, smiling sweetly as she listed off the beers they had on tap, continuing, “...we also have, you know, your standard selection of bottled beers and some pretty nice vintages if wine is what you’re into. As for cocktails, we can make all the basics, though if I had to make a suggestion as to what’s best, I’d say it’s a toss up between our margaritas or our Long Island iced tea.” Oikawa seemed to weigh his options for a moment before shrugging, “You seem like someone who knows what she’s talking about. Let me get two L.I.T.’s.” The bartender’s flirtatious smile dropped suddenly. “Oh, I’m sorry honey, our bar has a strict one-drink policy.” Oikawa fronwed. “How strict?”, he asked, his eyes flashing a playful sort of challenge to the woman looking into them. Unfortunately, her face only fell further. “Completely, I’m afraid”, she sighed, “I could get fired if I got caught.” “But”, sulked Oikawa, “I’m with a private party . Do you really mean that each and every one of us in the private  room needs to come out and get our own drink?”. At this, the bartender giggled a little. “Yes, hun, I do”, she smiled, reaching down below the bar and pulling out a few glasses, “Otherwise, how are we supposed to know if minors are getting their hands on drinks?”. “Ah”, Oikawa said, realizing that the policy wouldn’t be an easy one to get around, “...makes sense.” He watched the young woman bustle around in front of him, grabbing a bottle from here, a jigger from there, a scoop of ice from a third place. “And I don’t suppose that I could buy a drink, take it back to the party room, and then come right back for a second drink, could I?”. “Not generally, no”, said the young woman as she began vigorously shaking both of the silver cocktail shakers she’d just finished, “But, if you put your money on the bar right now, I think I can help you out.” 

The brunette grinned to himself, quickly whipping out his wallet, extracting a ¥2000 note and casually placing it on the sleek, polished countertop. With a wink, the blonde uncapped the shakers, poured off ten highball glasses, and yelled, “FIVE DOLLAR L.I.T.’s! WHO WANTS ONE!”. The raucous crowd pushed their way towards that end of the bar and wholly failed to notice that three of the ten glasses that the bartender had started with had mysteriously gone missing. Once he’d distanced himself sufficiently from the thronging crowd, Oikawa turned around and, catching the bartender’s eye, raised the glass in his left hand, smiled broadly, and winked at the young woman before turning and heading back towards the party he’d been absent from for nearly twenty minutes.

Kageyama felt his heart stop when the door slid open and Oikawa and Hinata stepped into the room together. The brunette had an infuriatingly coy smile curled up in the corners of his lips as he took his seat beside Kageyama once more. “Here”, he said softly, placing the glass in his right hand in front of his partner. “Although next time you’re gonna have to come with me. The bartender had to do me a special favor, but the policy here is one drink per person per transaction, basically.” “Special favor...?”, repeated Kageyama, raising a suspicious eyebrow. He was under no illusions regarding his boyfriend’s personality and habits, though after a brief moment’s contemplation, he shook his head and said, “Nevermind, I don’t want to know.” Oikawa smiled and rolled his eyes. “Not  _ that _ special, Tobio-chan. Anyway, this is what she recommended. I know you like your L.I.T.’s anyway, but she said that it’s among the better things she makes.”  _ “Please _ ”, Kageyama scoffed as he raised his glass to his lips,  _ “Anyone  _ can make a good L.I.T.” “Except that one guy in the beach cabana in Ishigaki, though, right?”, parried Oikawa, grinning mischievously. “Well-- yes. Okay, not  _ anyone,  _ just anyone with even the most basic understanding of drink mixing.” “Tobio-chan…” “What? I would still bet you anything that it was that guy’s first time ever even  _ handling _ alcohol.” The two bickered for a few moments longer before Kageyama finally tasted his drink, at which point he had to acquiesce: “...you’re right, though. This is a good drink.”

The dark haired man’s attention shifted from his drink and his boyfriend to the young man seated across the table. He’d watched, out of the corner of his eye, as Hinata came and set a drink down in front of Tsukishima much in the same way that Oikawa had given him his own. The two were speaking quietly amongst themselves, though Kageyama did manage to hear Tsukishima complain, “But I asked for a gin and tonic…”. When Hinata’s eyes met Kageyama’s, the redhead’s posture instantly stiffened as he seemed to distance himself from the blonde to his left. 

After an uncomfortably long eye-lock, Kageyama simpered and croaked, “Uh-- hey.” “H- hey”, replied the redhead. The tension between the two was apparent to all present, and the room settled into an uncomfortable, expectant silence. 

“Um”, whispered Oikawa, leaning in to speak as quietly and discreetly to Kageyama as possible, “Not that I’m particularly thrilled about the prospect-- for multiple reasons-- but, why don’t you two step outside and chat?”. Kageyama finally broke his gaze and turned to look at Oikawa. “...you’re okay with that?”, the blue-eyed man asked quietly. Oikawa shrugged. “Well, I mean… you say you’re in love with me, right? I trust you. And I spoke briefly with Chibi-chan outside when we were getting drinks; I think you should listen to what he has to say.” 

Kageyama seemed to think on this for a brief moment before rising from the table. 

“Ah-- um-- will you all excuse me for a moment?”, he asked, casting an intentful glance to Hinata, who then stood as well and, clearing his throat, stammered, “Um-- me too”. While everyone else stared down at the table, Sugawara laughed aloud. “Of course”, the ash-blonde waved, “I’m sure you two have some stuff to talk about. Glad to see you’re dealing with this head on.” Both Hinata and Kageyama blushed before mumbling repeated requests to be excused once more, while making their way to the door. Daichi elbowed his partner in the ribs, smirking, “Thanks for addressing the elephant in the room,  _ mom. _ ” “You’re welcome Daddy”, Sugawara grinned, punctuating his sentence with a wink.

The conversation at the table turned back to the topic of Nishinoya, who, besides Yamaguchi, was the only person missing from the group. Asahi shrugged as he set down his glass and picked up the conversation. “It’s been pretty tough, but he’s only got another month and a half left of his work in Taiwan and then he gets to come home. He said that the satellite office is pretty much up and running, and now it’s just a matter of staffing and training before he can come back.” “And you said he’ll probably get a pretty sizeable bonus once he comes back to Japan, right?”, asked Tanaka as he reached across the table and scooped up another serving of the pork shumai for both himself and Kiyoko. Asahi nodded, and as the conversation continued on, Oikawa found his mind wandering to other topics. 

In truth, he really  _ wasn’t  _ particularly worried about the conversation that Hinata and Kageyama were having. He was pretty sure he knew the gist of it-- Hinata was likely apologizing to Kageyama, while Kageyama was probably expressing his interest in continuing their friendship-- and he trusted Kageyama.  _ ‘Although’,  _ he thought to himself, discretely eyeing the blonde man seated diagonally across from him,  _ ‘even if I, for some reason,  _ **_didn’t_ ** _ trust Tobio, I still think it’d be okay, since I’m pretty sure Chibi-chan is barking up another tree’.  _

He then thought briefly about how the idea of Hinata getting involved with someone else might affect Kageyama, wondering if the thought of Chibi-chan courting Tsukishima could possibly cause Kageyama anywhere near the degree of pain that Iwaizumi’s moving forward caused Oikawa.  This thought quickly brought the brunette back to what had been his biggest worry over the prior few weeks, and once more he found himself filled with dread at the thought of what was to come tomorrow night.

Oikawa hadn’t seen Iwaizumi in over six years, and their last interaction had been less than pleasant, to say the least. And yet, somehow he was expected to just waltz into Iwaizumi’s bachelor party as if nothing happened-- as if it wasn’t Oikawa himself that Iwaizumi was supposed to be marrying.

The brunette’s fists clenched involuntarily at this thought, the cold, hard glass that had been pressed to his palm shocking him back to reality. He quickly shook his head, trying to shake off such an unwelcome thought.  _ ‘No’,  _ he thought to himself, his stomach roiling as he clenched his eyes shut,  _ ‘There’s no reality in which I should be marrying Iwa-chan. Even at our best, our relationship was toxic.’  _ He quickly glanced to the door, his heart skipping a beat when he realized that Hinata and Kageyama had been gone for nearly ten minutes already. He trusted Kageyama as much as he could trust anyone and knew that nothing sordid was happening between the former teammates. But still, between his thoughts of Iwaizumi and Kageyama’s (reasonable) disappearance, Oikawa was feeling particularly vulnerable.

His mind had begun to wander back to his fears for the next day and his hurts of the past when a sudden voice in his right ear forcibly pulled him out of his own head. “I’m so glad that you and Kageyama were able to arrange a reunion like this. I think it’s exactly what we all needed.” Oikawa’s head jerked towards the origin of the sound and was surprised to find that Mr. Refreshing himself had left his little clique and seated himself in what had been Kageyama’s seat. “Hope I’m not intruding”, Sugawara added with a grin, “I’d assumed that the boys’ conversation would be a quick one, given what a quiet person Kageyama has always been. I guess I underestimated Hinata’s talkativeness-- otherwise, I would’ve come over a lot sooner.” 

Oikawa forced a smile. For some reason, ever since their high school days, the ash-blonde always unnerved him. Perhaps it was the clear air of effortless intelligence that Sugawara exuded, or the way the corners of his lips always seemed to curl up  _ just enough  _ to suggest that the blonde was aware of more than he let on. It also could have been a simple, subconscious setter rivalry that automatically put Oikawa on his defenses whenever the other was around. Regardless and in spite of all this, the brunette couldn’t help but feel a small pang of gratitude at the appearance of Kageyama’s former senpai. 

Finally, after what felt like an eternity-- but was likely only a few seconds-- Oikawa remembered that any sort of response at all would typically be appropriate, and choked out, “Oh yeah? And why is that?”. He was expecting to be told how lonely or out of place he looked, sitting by himself staring absent-mindedly into his glass, but instead, Sugawara replied, “I wanted to thank you.” Stunned, Oikawa raised his gaze to meet the blonde’s warm, hazel eyes, and repeated, “... _ thank  _ me?”. Sugawara smiled broadly and nodded, though his smile quickly faded as he seemed to search for the right words. “...after Kageyama’s injury… well, we were all really worried. Daichi came back home every weekend for months following the accident, just so Kageyama always had someone to talk to if he needed it. Everyone was really shocked when he announced that he was going to college in Kyoto. I know on my end… well, I thought maybe he was distancing himself so no one would notice if he… well…  _ disappeared.” _

Sugawara swallowed hard before continuing. “It was just like… the  _ moment  _ he fell, a light went out in his eyes. Everything was different, and he didn’t want anyone to help him or to pity him.” The blonde fell silent, and, as he waited for Sugawara to continue, Oikawa glanced around the room. The others seemed to have goaded Tsukishima into a conversation with them, and though he looked irate, the group seemed to be having fun. The solemn chat the two former setters were having, then, would likely go unnoticed by all. 

Clearing his throat, Oikawa asked, “So-- uh-- what does that have to do with me?”. “Oh!”, exclaimed Sugawara, chuckling lightly, “Sorry-- my mind wandered off. But-- I would think it’s obvious. Since you two got together, some of the light has come back to Kageyama’s eyes. He seems happy for the first time in years. I mean, this may be presumptuous of me, but I truly do not believe that Kageyama would’ve arranged this little get together were you not in his life. I mean-- he’s only come back home two or three times since he moved as it is.” Oikawa nodded thoughtfully for a moment before shrugging, “I don’t know. I think he just needed time to find himself-- time to heal.” Suga playfully nudged Oikawa. “You don’t give yourself enough credit.  _ I  _ think he needed someone to show him that he  _ could  _ learn to love life without volleyball. And, if you want my honest opinion, I think you’re just about the only person who could do that. He wasn’t about to go out and meet someone new on his own-- that’s for sure-- so he needed someone who was gonna barge headfirst into his life. And really, the biggest reason anyone would do something like that would be because they have a previous attachment to him-- enough of an attachment that he’d think it appropriate to give them a shot. Really, Oikawa, I think you’re the only person who could’ve gotten through to him. And I-- and I know the rest of us-- Daichi, Asahi, Tanaka, Noya-- we couldn’t be more grateful.”

Oikawa wracked his mind for any sort of appropriate response, feeling his throat constrict as his cheeks reddened to an inexplicable degree. He was… extremely flattered. While he didn’t think that everything Sugawara was saying was particularly accurate, he was still honored to have such sentiments directed at him. That sort of vulnerability and gratitude, however, was something that Oikawa was not particularly good at articulating, and he found himself breathing an audible sigh of relief when the door suddenly slid open and a puffy-eyed Kageyama stepped back into the room, followed shortly by Hinata, who looked equally as distressed. Sugawara quickly excused himself and returned to Daichi’s side. 

“Everything okay?”, Oikawa whispered as Kageyama retook his seat beside him. With a sniffle and a slight smile, Kageyama nodded, and slowly the conversation amongst the group gained momentum once again and, before long, the small get together had turned into a full-fledged party.

\---

In spite of his earlier protestations on the topic, Oikawa chose to walk back to the hotel from the bar, hand in hand with Kageyama. In the end, it  _ was _ less than a mile, and the brunette ultimately felt that his lover could use some fresh air to help him sober up.

“I lohv you, y’know”, Kageyama slurred as he stumbled down the quiet streets of Sendai at close to two in the morning. “I love you too”, chuckled Oikawa, wrapping his arm around the younger man’s waist, partly to hold him close, and partly to help stabilize him. “thanks fer comin’ tonight”, Kageyama slurred. The brunette leaned in and quickly pecked the top of Kageyama’s head. “Anything for you”, he sighed, “...did you have a good time?”. At this, Kageyama threw his arms around his boyfriend and, grinning broadly upwards, exclaimed, “Yes! I’m so happy we came!”. 

Sugawara’s words briefly rippled through Oikawa’s mind:  _ “he’s only come back home two or three times since he moved as it is.”  _ He couldn’t help but chuckle to himself at the disparity between who Kageyama apparently had been and who he currently was. The ash-blonde had broached several  thought-provoking topics, though as Oikawa reflected on their conversation, a sudden realization dawned on him.

“Hey”, he said, gently shaking his dazed significant other, “How did your conversation with Chibi-chan go?”. He watched as Kageyama’s posture suddenly changed, an air of severity seizing his entire demeanor, seeming to all-but-completely sober him up. “It went… well”, Kageyama said thoughtfully, “We talk’d about a lot of things. He said he was sorry fer not reachin’ out, an’ that he was ashamed of how ‘e treated me when we were together. I tol’ him how much it sucked to be cut out like that, and he basically jus’ wanted to make sure that you were treatin’ me right.” At this, Oikawa’s breath hitched. “....What did you tell him?”, the brunette asked apprehensively. Kageyama rolled his eyes. “Of  _ course  _ I said you treat me well. We had  _ one  _ issue--” “--a really serious issue--” “-- _ one  _ issue. Otherwise, our relationship has been, well-- in my opinion-- happy. Definitely better than my relationship with Shōyō ever was. And, well, he seemed happy for me.”

“...That’s good”, Oikawa sighed, pulling the younger man closer and carefully resting his head on top of Kageyama’s as they walked down the street. “...I love you, you know”, the brunette added, turning his head and planting yet another kiss on top of Kageyama’s dark hair. “I know. And  _ I _ love  _ you _ .” With a mischievous grin and another squeeze, Oikawa laughed, “After tonight? You’d better.”


	22. Six Years

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama and Oikawa attend Iwaizumi's bachelor party.

“Come on, Oikawa, the car’s here”, Kageyama called as he buttoned the last button of his sleeve. He was feeling an immense sense of deja vu as he stood waiting in the entryway to their hotel room, hoping that his boyfriend had any intention of emerging from the bathroom any time soon. It was nearly quarter to six, and, at this rate, Kageyama was reasonably certain that they were going to be late to Iwaizumi’s bachelor party, which was set to start at six. “I’ll be right out!”, Oikawa called, though the younger man had his doubts as he nervously checked his phone, waiting for what he was sure was an inevitable cancellation from the car they’d hired. Sighing softly, Kageyama cast a quick glance out the large bay window and briefly wondered to himself whether he should consider bringing an umbrella with him, as the skies looked as if they could open up at any moment.   

Kageyama tucked his phone back in his jacket pocket and did his best to try to level his breathing. Tonight was certain to be a stressful night, between Iwaizumi’s bachelor party and Kageyama’s Aunt’s 60th birthday party, after which he intended to come out to his parents. He did he best to try to stay in the moment, and to try to think of anything but the various trials he would have to face and the multitude of things that could go wrong, but he found that he was having trouble staying focused. 

If nothing else, Kageyama was at least able to take some consolation in the fact that he was guaranteed to look good whenever he went anywhere while Oikawa was around. He hadn’t been entirely clear on what the dress code for the bachelor party was supposed to be, but after Oikawa did some poking around online about the particular bar they were headed to, the older man settled for a casual/semi-formal look for both men. This meant that Kageyama was wearing a black blazer layered over a cool grey sweater, which in turn was layered over a white button down shirt, though the only visible pieces of the button down that were visible were the collar and the cuffs, poking out above the sweater’s collar and sleeves respectively. He wore nice black dress shoes, a nice, fancy belt, a subtle white pocket square in his blazer and… jeans. And though he personally felt that the outfit lacked cohesion, Oikawa assured him that it was formal enough to be appropriate for both Iwaizumi’s party and his aunt’s party, while also being casual enough to blend in if the rest of the guys forwent the upscale bar’s typical dress code (which Oikawa had to admit was a distinct possibility). Oikawa, who was known to be a bit more fashionable, was dressing more formally, choosing to wear a steel grey vest with matching (albeit tight, skinny-style) slacks over a light, pearl grey button down shirt with a black tie. He chose to wear his fanciest silver watch, it’s black face coordinating perfectly with the thin black belt around his waist.

Of course, Kageyama hadn’t actually  _ seen  _ this outfit since Oikawa had modeled it around his apartment for him several days prior when they were packing; the older man was still holed up in the bathroom, and at this rate, Kageyama wasn’t sure that they were  _ ever  _ going to make it to the party. “ _ Tōru”,  _ sighed the younger man exasperatedly, “I’m gonna go down without you. At least then if the driver leaves, he’ll leave with one of us in the car.” As he began slipping on his polished, black dress shoes, he finally heard the bathroom door click open. It was a long moment before Oikawa appeared in the hallway, but when he did, Kageyama could scarcely believe his eyes: somehow, the tall brunette looked even better than usual, all dolled up in what would’ve been a suit if it only had a jacket thrown over it. His sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, creating a sort of aloof air that he hadn’t had on the night of their ‘dress rehearsal’. His outfit was simply perfect, and not a single hair atop his head was out of place. Kageyama, at a total loss for words, could do little more than gape.

Strangely enough, Oikawa felt himself blushing at the attention. Where normally he spent his time in the bathroom fussing over making sure his hair was perfect and generally admiring himself, today was a vastly different experience; he’d spent nearly all his time in the bathroom on the verge of a panic attack, convincing himself that it didn’t  _ matter  _ how he looked, as nothing he did to his appearance could take away from the shame of everything that happened six years ago. He wanted so badly to tell Kageyama that they couldn’t go, but at the same time, a part of him also felt that that was exactly what Iwaizumi was expecting him to do-- to not show up. He couldn’t allow himself to play right into Iwa-chan’s hands either. 

Wordlessly, the older man shoved his hands in his pockets and began carelessly forcing his own dress shoes onto his feet; his demeanor was very obviously off and he knew it, but he wasn’t sure how to begin changing it. Kageyama, also feeling the weight of the shift in the atmosphere, silently followed the brunette’s lead, and it was not until they’d long left their hotel room and the elevator door slid shut that the younger man decided to speak.

“Tōru”, he started gently, his fingers cautiously grazing the sides of those of the man he loved, “You look amazing. More amazing than ever.” At this, the brunette chuffed amusedly. “Please”, he mumbled, “Compliments are one thing, but at this point it’s just shameless flattery.” Kageyama shook his head enthusiastically while one of his hands searched for the button labeled ‘G’-- for ground-- and the other groped more firmly for Oikawa’s digits. “I’m serious”, the dark haired man started, leveling his gaze with Oikawa as both hands met their intended targets, “You look  _ incredible.  _ ...um…”--Kageyama’s cheeks began to burn crimson as he worked up the courage to be as forward as he wanted to be-- “...it’s--  _ er--  _ it’s a miracle that you were able to just walk out of our hotel room without, um,  _ being jumped.”  _

It took the brunette a moment to process what Kageyama was inferring, but once he understood, the older man couldn’t help but giggle. His fears and anxieties seemed to melt away, and he found himself leaning in to plant an affectionate kiss on top of the head of the man he loved. “We haven’t left the hotel yet, you know”, he smiled, as the light dimmed on the number ‘3’ over the door and the number ‘2’ lit up, “We could always head back upstairs…”. “No, we most certainly cannot”, frowned Kageyama, squeezing Oikawa’s hand tightly. 

Kageyama was honestly surprised when, upon exiting the hotel, their car was still there. It was by far the nicest car that Oikawa had hired for them over the course of many outings, and though the darker-haired man’s immediate impulse was to elbow his boyfriend and ask why he felt the need to blow his money on such frivolities, something inside him held him back and reminded him that he likely knew exactly why, today of all days, Oikawa had hired such an extravagant ride to take them to Iwaizumi’s bachelor party: simply put, the older man had people to impress. As they approached, the driver quickly clambered out of the vehicle and opened the rear passenger-side door for the couple. “Thank you”, grinned Oikawa as he ducked and entered the car. “Thank you  _ so much  _ for waiting for us”, Kageyama added in as sincere a voice as possible, “We didn’t mean to take so long”. “No worries”, politely smiled the well-dressed chauffeur, “Oikawa-san cautioned me that you gentlemen might be running late, so he booked me for an hour earlier than necessary just to be on the safe side.” As he climbed in himself, Kageyama shot Oikawa an astonished glance, to which the brunette merely grinned. 

The car hadn’t even begun moving before Oikawa was pouring himself some of the complimentary whiskey located in the mini-bar of the miniature limousine. “Tōru…”, started Kageyama, a frown creeping across his face. “What?”, asked the brunette innocently, “...you want some?”. The younger man rolled his eyes. “Don’t you think there’ll be plenty of alcohol at the  _ bar  _ we’re going to tonight as it is?”, he scoffed, folding his arms. Oikawa quickly downed his glass and began pouring a second before answering. “...Yes. But-- to counter your argument-- do you  _ really  _ think that there’s enough alcohol in all of Sendai to deal with the discomfort I’m going to be subjected to tonight?”. “To counter  _ your  _ argument”, glared Kageyama as Oikawa downed his second full glass of whiskey, “Don’t you remember what happened the last time you overindulged? ...And over Iwaizumi-san, no less?”. 

Oikawa, who’d already started reaching for the bottle once more, stopped dead in his tracks. He froze completely for a full five seconds, only to completely sit back in his seat and stare into his empty glass afterwards. “...You’re right. I’m sorry. I’ll do my best not to overdo it tonight.” 

Oikawa felt intensely guilty for having to be called out in such a way; he knew that he had the tendency to use alcohol as a crutch, but to  _ start out  _ their night in such a way that Tobio-- of all people-- had to call him out was deeply shameful to him. And, to make matters worse… he still  _ really  _ wanted that drink.

The brunette glanced out the window and was unsettled to find that he knew exactly where he was. Every building they passed, every tree that flickered by, every bump in the road was  _ exactly  _ as it had been when he left his hometown-- for what he hoped would be for good-- over six years prior. His stomach turned, and for a moment he actually felt that the trip down memory lane was going to make him sick. There was literally nothing he wouldn’t give to be back in his own condo in Kyoto, and to not have the dreadful prospects of that evening hanging over his head.

Through his periphery, he shot a quick glance at Kageyama, and was unsurprised to see the handsome young man gazing out his own window. Tobio seemed to be completely nonplussed by the entire trip, and Oikawa couldn’t help but feel a bit envious. For Kageyama, this was all but a normal Saturday evening. For Oikawa, it was the single most anxiety-provoking occasion of his young life.

Reflecting on it, Oikawa had to admit that that particular thought  _ was  _ a little bit dramatic, but he knew that it was not inaccurate. There had never been anything in his life to cause him more anxiety. Prior to his break up with Iwaizumi, his life had pretty much gone according to plan, so there wasn’t much call for anxiety. Their breakup, while devastating, didn’t leave much anxiety in its wake, and instead left him a shell of a man who approached every major issue with disinterest and aloofness. It was, in fact, very easy for Oikawa to say that this was the most anxious he’d ever been.

If asked, Oikawa wouldn’t even be able to articulate what, exactly, was making his skin crawl to the degree that it was. It was almost as if his every faculty was failing him. His mind was trying its best to come up with scenarios with which to taunt and torment him, however, each and every scenario was half-baked at best; they would start slowly and fizzle out quickly, dissipating as if to say,  _ ‘no, sorry, I don’t think I’m capable of even  _ **_imagining_ ** _ what could happen tonight.’ _

The brunette began to feel as if his insides were shaking, and though he had promised Kageyama not five minutes before that he would do his best to take it easy, his eyes couldn’t help but wander to the minibar time and time again.

It wasn’t long before the car slowed to a stop in front of Sendai’s most popular downtown strip, at which point Oikawa felt his chest begin to constrict and his mind grow hazy. As he began absentmindedly feeling for the door handle, Kageyama’s door suddenly opened from the other side, and a voice from inside Oikawa’s head seemed to be straining to remind him that he was inside a limousine for which he was specifically paying for door service. The brunette slowly slid across the seat and rose to his feet beside Kageyama, and the couple stood side by side awkwardly with the chauffeur, while it became increasingly clear that only two of the three men present had any idea of the proper protocol at that juncture. After a long moment, Kageyama sighed and fished out his own wallet from his back pocket, extracting a  ¥2000 note and handing it to their driver. (It was at this point that Oikawa realized what they had all been standing around for, but was well aware that his realization had come in far too late to be of any use.) The driver extracted two business cards from his breast pocket and offered them to each man. “I will be in a nearby lot”, he said, bowing slightly as Oikawa took the second of the cards, “Please give me a call when each of you are ready to go to your next destination”. With that, the older man excused himself and left the couple on the sidewalk just outside of the bar.

“Well”, started Kageyama, quickly tucking the business card into his wallet, glancing quickly up at the sky as a single drop of rain flecked his cheek, “You ready?”. “No”, blurted out Oikawa, and suddenly the brunette took off down the sidewalk, walking as quickly as he could without outright running to the nearest corner, where he ducked to the right and kept walking. Kageyama had to break into a jog to catch up with the older man once he’d actually processed what had happened, and once he did finally reach him, he grabbed Oikawa by the arm and pinned him to the brick siding of the shop they’d been walking next to. “Tōru!”, Kageyama gasped, “What has gotten into you?!”. 

It took Oikawa a long moment to look up at Kageyama, but when he finally did, the younger man could see that his cheeks were flushed and his eyes were just short of overflowing with tears. “...I don’t want to do this”, he whispered, averting his gaze as soon as his eyes met Kageyama’s, “I’m not ready. I don’t want to go to this stupid bachelor party. I don’t want to see any of these stupid people. Just-- just let me go  _ home _ .” A piece of Kageyama ached for his lover, but he knew that he had to remain resolute in their decision, as ultimately he felt that attending this party would be healthy for his partner. 

“Tōru”, he started, glancing to either side of him before pulling his beloved into a hug, “It’ll be okay. We need to do this though. You  _ need  _ some sort of closure.” “Closure?!”, scoffed Oikawa, totally oblivious to the light drizzle that was beginning to pick up, “I needed closure six years ago-- not today. I’m  _ happy  _ now. Let’s just go home and keep being happy, and forget that any of this ever happened.”

The dark haired man pulled back and shook his head. As he gazed severely into Oikawa’s eyes, a lone tear tripped down. “You know as well as I do that, at least on your end, Iwaizumi-san is the biggest roadblock we face to being happy together. You’ll never  _ really  _ be able to love me until you let him go.” “But I  _ do  _ love you”, protested Oikawa, only to be met with a shake of the head from Kageyama. “No”, said the younger man quietly, “No matter how much you love me, there’s still a part of you that’s in love with the ghosts from your past. And, well… you said you want a future together. If that’s the truth, I need you to do your best to let him go.”

Kageyama began to feel disheartened by the lengthy silence he was met with, until he saw one more tear drop, and then the big brown eyes he had come to know and love so deeply met his. Oikawa nodded, and in a voice that was hardly a whisper said, “...I’ll try.” 

Overcome with love for the man before him, Kageyama wrapped his arms tightly around Oikawa once more, and together the two started back in the direction from which the brunette had fled, eager to get out of the mounting rain.

\---

The bar was incredibly loud, but it wasn’t too difficult to find Iwaizumi’s bachelor party. They’d taken up the entirety of one end of the bar, plus two of the surrounding tables. Oikawa strode in with his trademark dazzling smile plastered across his face, but the grip he had on Kageyama’s hand was more than enough for the younger man to know that he was still feeling intensely anxious. 

Oikawa, meanwhile, was quickly trying to take stock of who was in attendance. It seemed like his whole third year team from Aobajōsai was present, with himself and Kageyama being the last two to arrive. Yahaba, Watari, and someone who appeared to be a toned-down version of Kyōtani were sitting at one of the tables, while the other table featured a few more recently familiar faces, including those of Daichi and Sugawara. Across from the Karasuno power couple sat Kuroo from Nekoma and--  _ ‘what was his friend’s name from Fukurodani? Bo… BoKuroo? Something like that.’ _ Over at the bar crowded the rest of the former Aobajōsai. Makki and Mattsun stood with their arms around one another beside Kindaichi and Kunimi, and between both groups of men stood--

_ BA-DUM. _

All the sound in the crowded bar suddenly drowned out, and all Oikawa could hear was the sickening thud of his heartbeat in his ears.

_ BA-DUM. _

There, less than ten feet away from him, stood Iwaizumi Hajime, his long lost lover, looking better than ever as he celebrated his engagement.

_ BA-DUM. _

His engagement.

_ BA-DUM. _

To someone that wasn’t Oikawa.

_ BA-DUM. _

To a woman.

_ BA-DUM. _

On the other side of the world.

_ BA-DUM. _

In the place he chose over the person he was supposed to love forev--

 

_ “Tōru.” _

The brunette slowly felt himself coming back to earth.

He looked towards the origins of the voice calling his name and was almost shocked by the intensity of the bright blue eyes looking at him. “It’ll be okay”, cooed Kageyama, adjusting his grip on the older man’s hand. Oikawa nodded, and together the two continued towards the group. It was at that point that Hanamaki seemed to notice the couple, as the light brown haired man shouted, “Hey, look who it is! Oikawa and Kageyama!”. Immediately, countless pairs of eyes shot up and Oikawa felt himself under a kind of pressure that he was completely unfamiliar with. And, although he refused to confirm it, Oikawa was certain that Iwaizumi was looking at him as well.

Makki immediately came over to the couple, dragging Mattsun along with him. “We’re so glad you could make it!”, chimed the shorter of the two. “Yeah”, nodded Matsukawa, cracking a smile as he spoke, “It’s been a long time.” He offered a fist bump to each man, and it was eagerly reciprocated. “Come on!”, chirped Hanamaki, “Let’s go get you guys something to drink and you can say hi to everyone. I know everyone here has been  _ dying  _ to catch up with you guys. I mean-- no one’s seen either of you since you left for college!”. “That was kind of the plan!”, grinned Oikawa, and though Kageyama knew he was telling the truth, the tongue-in-cheek manner in which he said it made it seem like he was telling the most obvious of jokes that should in no way be taken seriously. 

The group approached the bar and shortly thereafter left with their own respective libations: a beer each for Mattsun and Makki, and a glass of cinnamon whiskey on the rocks for both Oikawa and Kageyama. Oikawa’s former teammates seemed to take on the role of tour guides as they showed the couple around, escorting them from group to group to group to say ‘hello’. Their first stop was the table with Yahaba, Watari, and the gentleman who did, in fact, turn out to be the all-grown-up version of Kyōtani, each of whom exchanged their pleasantries with both Oikawa and Kageyama. 

Next the group wandered to the non-Seijoh table, where Daichi laughed, “Hey, you guys look familiar!” and Sugawara grinned sheepishly and, nodding to his partner, said, “Sorry we didn’t say anything yesterday. We were pretty sure we knew why you guys were in town, but  _ someone  _ wanted to keep our invitation to this gettogether a secret.” “A  _ surprise”,  _ corrected Daichi, “I wanted to  _ surprise  _ Kageyama!”. Kageyama was, indeed, quite surprised, and found himself giggling at the interaction between his two former senpai. He’d gotten to know the couple quite well since he first met them, but he had to laugh every time he reflected on the vast disparity between who he knew them to be and who they’d presented themselves as when they first met. Kuroo and Bokuto were also seeming wildcards in the guest list, but the group explained that Daichi and Iwaizumi had become workout buddies at the gym one summer, and after a training camp, Kuroo and Bokuto quickly became involved in that regimen whenever they were in all in the same prefecture as well. 

It was with great apprehension and the remainder of his drink that Oikawa was led to the bar, where Kindaichi, Kunimi, and Iwaizumi stood. Before he could say or do anything-- and much to his surprise-- the man of honor leaned in and grabbed Oikawa in a big bear hug. The brunette felt all the wind squeezed out of him, but that was the only thought that he was successfully able to process; everything else either started and got cut off, or picked up halfway through what otherwise could’ve been a coherent thought. When Iwaizumi pulled back, he clapped Oikawa hard on the back and, grinning broadly, laughed, “Tōru! I didn’t think you were going to come!”. 

It was as if something inside Oikawa-- something that had been dead for over six years-- had been awakened with the magical combination of that aggressive hug and slap, because all of a sudden, as if he’d been plugged in or recharged, Oikawa Tōru sprung back to life, punching his old ace on the shoulder. “What are you talking about?”, he grinned, “And miss  _ your  _ bachelor party?  _ Please!”.  _ “Haha, that’s the Oikawa Tōru I know and love”, laughed Iwaizumi, “Bartender! Another round of drinks for everyone!”.

All of a sudden, Kageyama felt as if he’d made a huge mistake by encouraging Oikawa to come ‘get closure’. He wasn’t quite sure what had happened; he felt as if he’d blinked, and all of a sudden the man that he’d loved for over seven months had completely disappeared, and had been replaced by some frat boy. And, as for Kageyama, well… he was feeling nothing short of invisible. His heart sinking, he turned to go sit with Daichi and Sugawara, where he was sure he’d at least be able to find some comfort to help him cope with his terrible judgement call, when he felt his wrist get caught.

“Hey!”, Oikawa yelled over the other voices and loud music, “Where do you think you’re going?”.

“Tōru was just telling me that you guys have been together for quite some time”, started Iwaizumi, offering a full glass to Kageyama, who graciously accepted the offering before nodding. Oikawa laced his fingers through those of his boyfriend, sipping his own glass before picking up the story. “We found each other by total accident in a coffeeshop in Kyoto. He apparently had no idea that that’s where I’d moved my life, and I, of course, was oblivious to what Tobio had done with his.” “Hm”, replied Iwaizumi thoughtfully, “Interesting. Although I personally can’t say that I would believe it if someone from  _ my  _ past magically showed up in the same town as me.” “Well, I did”, Oikawa said curtly, taking a larger swig from his glass once more and squeezing Kageyama’s hand reassuringly, “Oh! And also-- I don’t know if you would remember him, since he was such a  _ nobody  _ to begin with, but one of the blockers from Shiritorizawa-- Taichi Kawanishi-- actually lives up by us as well.” “No kidding!”, remarked Iwaizumi, taking a drink from his own beer, “What a small world!”. At this, Kageyama couldn’t help but snort, earning a raised eyebrow from both of the other men he was speaking to. “Oh-- uh-- sorry--”, he stammered, “It’s just-- uh-- well-- Tōru makes such a big show of not knowing Kawanishi’s name that it’s pretty funny hearing him say it right.” Oikawa smiled and rolled his eyes, but when he turned to laugh with Iwaizumi, he noted that now Iwaizumi’s face looked  _ off.  _ Sighing and taking yet another swig, he asked, “What?”. “Nothing, nothing!”, replied Iwaizumi, “...I guess, well, I have no ground to be speaking, since I’m the one who left Japan, but it was just surprising, hearing Kageyama-kun refer to you as ‘Tōru’”. “Well, we  _ are  _ dating”, Oikawa replied, shifting uncomfortably. “Yeah”, laughed Iwaizumi, “Like I said-- It’s just weird. I guess I wasn’t expecting so many things to have changed while I was gone!”.

As the night progressed, things started to relax, and slowly the men migrated more towards the tables where they could talk in groups, only wandering towards the bar when they needed drinks. Oikawa found himself becoming more and more comfortable as time went on, feeling almost as if the bachelor party were instead an Aobajōsai reunion, in which case the brunette could rightfully take center stage. Many toasts were made to Iwaizumi (and his bride to be), and the group got to hear story upon story about Iwaizumi’s time in America. Kageyama kept his eye on the clock, well aware that he was going to need to get going around 8 or so.

Around 7:45, Kindaichi-- who’d been largely quiet that evening, suddenly turned to Kageyama. “So, why are you and Oikawa together?”, he asked somewhat aggressively, taking a swig of his beer. “Oh, um…”,   started the blue-eyed man, uncomfortably noting that a hush had suddenly fallen over the majority of the group, “Well, we just wound up running into each other in a coffee shop in our tow--” “No”, interrupted Kindaichi, “I mean, why is Oikawa with  _ you _ _?_ I mean-- no offense-- but I never would’ve imagined you and Oikawa would get together, like--  _ hic _ \-- in a million years. You were always so standoffish and cold, where Oikawa was always so genuine and  _ cool. _ ” “Gee, thanks”, muttered the blue-eyed man out of the corner of his mouth as he sipped the beer he’d been working on. “Bu’ more than tha’”, slurred the pointy-haired man, “Really, I thought to myself, if we all were gonna be gettin’ together to celebrate anyone’s engagement, I always thought we’d be celebratin’ the engagement of Iwaizumi and Oikawa!”. As Kindaichi turned to his peers to seek reassurance, the entire table fell silent. Those who were even slightly less drunk than the former middle blocker did their best to avert their gaze from the veritable trainwreck that was happening before them, while those who were at his level readily agreed with him. It was only once Iwaizumi cleared his throat that Kindaichi stopped talking. “Kunimi”, he said, addressing the man seated beside Kindaichi, “I think Kindaichi has had a bit too much to drink. Maybe you should take him for some air.” “But ‘wazumi”, protested Kindaichi, “I just don’t understand! Why didn’t anything ever happen between you an’ Oikawa?”. 

Before Iwaizumi could even answer, though, a voice from the other end of the table spoke up. “He’s not the only person who had a say in the matter, I’m afraid”, said Oikawa coolly, in spite of how much he’d had to drink, “And, not that it’s really anyone’s business, but Tobio and I are  _ quite  _ happy together.” The moment Oikawa began speaking, Kageyama felt his ears begin to burn in both pride in embarrassment, but as his boyfriend appended the second half of his statement, Kageyama swore he saw something strange out of the corner of his eye; it made no sense to him, but he could’ve sworn he saw Iwaizumi’s fists clench. When he casually turned to look at the older man, though, his face was totally blank and emotionless as he raised his beer to his lips. Kageyama shrugged it off, choosing to consciously dismiss his concerns and electing instead to take a swig of his own drink.

It was ten past 8 when Kageyama finally stood up. “It’s been really great catching up, but I’m afraid I’ve got to go.” Turning to Iwaizumi, he raised his beer and said, “Congratulations again, Iwaizumi-san, on your engagement. May your marriage bring you many years of happiness.” The rest of the table followed suit and raised their respective beverages in yet another toast to Iwaizumi. Kageyama spent a few more minutes saying goodbye to everyone before he headed out, escorted by Oikawa. 

“I wish you didn’t have to leave”, started the brunette as he pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his breast pocket. Rolling his eyes, Kageyama planted a kiss on his boyfriend’s lips and said, “And I wish  _ you  _ would ditch that disgusting habit, but we can’t all get what we want now, can we?”. “Soon, I promise”, Oikawa mumbled through the cigarette propped between his lips. At this, Kageyama couldn’t help but smile; he’d never asked Oikawa for any sort of commitment when it came to quitting before, and even though it was ambiguous, the fact that Oikawa promised to quit still gave the blue-eyed man butterflies. 

The two stood outside together huddled under the bar’s awning as the rain beat down on the sidewalk around them. True to his word, their chauffeur had apparently been parked nearby, as Oikawa was only halfway through his cigarette when the car pulled up in front of the them. “Bye”, Oikawa said sadly, “Good luck tonight. Call me if you need anything.” “Thanks”, grinned Kageyama before leaning up to kiss his boyfriend once more, in spite of the fact that he would surely taste like smoke, “ _ Please  _ don’t overdo it tonight”. With that, the younger man bolted out from under the awning and reached the car before the driver could even get out, pulling the door open for himself and climbing in. 

The brunette took one last pull on his cigarette before flicking it out onto the soaking sidewalk. He had a bad feeling that he just couldn’t shake; he only hoped that he was worrying over nothing. Oikawa stopped at the bar on his way back to the bachelor party and promptly took two shots of tequila and ordered a glass of whiskey to take back with him; he may have gotten comfortable while his boyfriend was there with him, but there was no way in hell he was going to be able to survive the party without Kageyama by his side. 

As the night wore on, Oikawa found himself straying further and further from Kageyama’s request with each additional trip to the bar he made. He couldn’t help it; he was so tremendously uncomfortable, and the alcohol was the only thing that was helping him cope. At least when he was drunk he was able to socialize, even if he did find himself checking his cell phone every ten minutes for updates from Kageyama. 

Around nine the group decided to head to another bar down the street, and then around midnight, when most of the guys were to the point of being fall-down drunk, the party began to dissipate. Oikawa, who still hadn’t heard from Kageyama, stepped out to have his sixth smoke break of the night and was nearly halfway through his cigarette when an unexpected guest appeared beside him.

“When’d you pick up  _ that  _ habit?”, came the gruff but unmistakably familiar voice that could only belong to Iwaizumi. Oikawa knew he was incredibly drunk-- his head was swimming and he could hardly stand straight-- but he didn’t think that he was quite drunk enough to be hallucinating his ex’s presence. He slowly glanced to his left and was genuinely surprised to see Iwaizumi standing there, arms folded, watching him pull on his cigarette. He slowly breathed out the smoke, took in a breath of fresh air, and finally replied, “‘Never stopped.” Iwaizumi shook his head disapprovingly. “You were an athlete. You should know better than that.” Oikawa shrugged dismissively. The conversation stalled for a minute while Oikawa took another drag, but then the brunette turned and looked Iwaizumi in the eye. “What are you doing out here?”, he asked, “Shouldn’t the man of honor be tending to his guests?”. “Eh”, shrugged the older of the two men, “Mattsun and Makki are making out at the bar, and Kuroo, Bokuto, and Daichi playing darts. I think Sugawara is talking to Yahaba, and everyone else went home at this point. I don’t think anyone will even notice that I’m gone, honestly.”

Oikawa took one last pull on his cigarette and flicked the butt out into the street, and as he exhaled the last of the smoke, he pulled out the pack once more. He shook out yet another cigarette and offered one to Iwaizumi. The former ace considered the pack with disdain for a moment before ultimately relenting and accepting the offer. After lighting his own, Oikawa lit Iwaizumi’s cigarette, and together the two stood and smoked in silence. Oikawa checked his phone-- again, nothing-- and felt his nerves climbing once more. He didn’t really think that he could handle drinking any more without throwing up; how was he supposed to handle the degree of discomfort that was quickly settling on the time that was  _ supposed  _ to help him relax? 

Finally, without meaning to, the brunette repeated, “Why are you out here?”. To his surprise, a wry smile curled up in the corners of Iwaizumi’s mouth as he sucked on the cigarette. After exhaling, the former ace laughed, “I knew you couldn’t bear to just let it be. Well, if you  _ must  _ know, I just thought we were probably overdue for a conversation.” “Yeah, like six years overdue”, scoffed Oikawa. Again Iwaizumi laughed. “You’re still so predictable. I knew you were gonna say something like that.”

Iwaizumi turned and faced Oikawa. Dropping his voice low and leveling his gaze with the brunette, he said, “So, what do you think-- you wanna get out of here and go talk?”.  

Oikawa felt his throat dry up.

With one last glance at the phone in his hand, all he could do was nod.

 


	23. Coming Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama has the most important conversation he's ever had with his parents.

Kageyama was initially incredibly nervous when he’d said goodbye to his partner and gotten into the car earlier that evening. And, even though he felt like the world’s biggest hypocrite, he would up dipping into the mini-bar in the back of the limousine twice in the ten minute ride himself in a desperate attempt to calm his nerves. He was half an hour later than he promised he would be to the party, but no one really seemed to notice; his family welcomed him all the same and soon dinner and heavy drinking commenced in a big way. Everything seemed as if it was back to how it had been before he moved away until several hours later, when Kageyama found himself sitting at the kitchen table in his childhood home, face to face with his mom and dad, hand shaking as it clutched a glass of vodka.

“M- M- Mom, D- Dad”, he started, tears in his eyes. “What is it, Tobio-kun?”, his mom asked, tearing up herself. She reached out and put her hand on her son’s forearm reassuringly. “Whatever it is, your father and I will help you. Are you in trouble?” “Do you need money?”, asked the senior Kageyama, reaching into his suit jacket to pull out his wallet. At this, Tobio chuckled a faint, weak chuckle. 

“Um-- no-- it’s nothing like that. It’s just-- um…”. He drew in a deep breath. “Promise that you won’t interrupt me, okay?”, he asked, looking to both of his parents for confirmation before ultimately launching into the speech that he somehow completely failed to prepare for. “Mom, Dad… I’m gay. And I’m happily in a relationship with another man. Uh-- I actually went to middle school with him-- and we wound up running into each other in Kyoto. And, well, things are getting fairly serious, and we’re talking about maybe moving in together. He’s been an extremely important part of my life for over seven months now, and I don’t want to have to hide that part of my life from you guys anymore. I’m sure this wasn’t what you had planned for me, but, well, it’s not what I had planned for me either. It’s just… what happened.” 

The table fell silent for a long moment before Tobio’s parents exchanged looks. Kageyama’s mother withdrew her hand, lacing her own fingers together before looking her son in the eye. “Tobio…”, she started, “...Are you happy?”. This was probably the last question the blue-eyed man expected, but without skipping a beat, he replied, “Absolutely”. A broad smile broke out across both of his parent’s faces and his dad beamed, “Then we’re happy for you.” At this, Kageyama’s mother and father stood and embraced their son. After lots of hugs and laughter and tears shed, the group settled back down, and Tobio soon found himself frowning. “Not that I’m not intensely grateful and relieved”, he started, “But… I dunno, I always thought that you guys would be a little more resistant than that”. With another look exchanged between the two, Tobio’s mother reached out, took her son’s hands in his, took a deep breath, and began her story.

“My son… after your accident, your father and I worried day and night that we were going to lose you. A light went out of your eyes-- one that we were worried that we would never see again-- and we promised each other that we would support you in whatever you wanted in this world. When you came to us and told us that you wanted to go away to Kyoto-- although it broke our hearts, and although we worried every single day--” “And still do!”, interrupted his father. “--We vowed to stand by your side. When you told us you wanted to be a sports journalist, we were right there with you. We were never going to pressure you about a relationship, but we’ve discussed every possibility-- you bringing home a girl, a boy, being a part of a multi-person relationship, being in a huge age gap, never being in a relationship-- we discussed everything we could think of, just to brace ourselves so that, if you ever found something that made you happy again, we could truly be happy for you.”

“When you called us a few weeks ago”, his mother added, “To tell us that you’d be coming to your aunt’s party, we were overjoyed, and we were hopeful that you had found  _ something  _ to help you keep going. And tonight, the moment we saw you, and we  _ saw  _ that light in your eyes, we knew.”

“And, well”, started his father, as he brushed the corners of his eyes with a handkerchief, “how could we be anything  _ but  _ supportive when our son is so obviously happy again? It’s none of our business what goes on in your bedroom. So if dating a man makes you happy, having a son-in-law makes us happy.”

Tobio sat back in his chair; he was completely speechless. He had always assumed that his parents were on the more conservative side and, though he loved them dearly, ever since he first came to terms with his feelings for Oikawa all those years ago, he’d had to mentally and emotionally prepare himself for the notion that his parents may very well reject him over his sexuality. Out of the literal thousands of scenarios that his mind created and played out for him over the span of years, not a single one ended in his parents giving him a degree of love and support he never knew existed.

“We don’t want to put any pressure on you or anything, Tobio-kun”, started his mother quietly after a long silence, “And if you’re not comfortable answering, you can tell me to get lost, but... this man you’re dating-- you said you went to school with him. Is it-- is it Shōyō, by any chance?”. Tobio’s face immediately broke out into a smile, at which point his parents exchanged a knowing glance between one another. As they began muttering ‘I knew it’s, the blue-eyed man had to laugh and cut his parents off. “No-- no, I’m sorry”, he chuckled, “The man I’m dating is  _ not  _ Shōyō. But--  _ uh _ \-- Shōyō and I did try dating for a while.” “I knew it!”, his mother yelped again excitedly, “I wasn’t gonna say anything, but I told you!”. Tobio’s father laughed and nodded, sipping his own beer happily. “You did say something along those lines when he first got to Karasuno…”. Tobio smiled and rolled his eyes. “It wasn’t  _ that  _ long ago,  _ Mom. _ But-- well. Um. I’m sure you’ll remember the guy I’m dating; we went to middle school together. It’s Oikawa Tōru.” At the mention of his name, Tobio’s mom gasped and jumped up. She left the room, returning moments later with a picture frame in hand. “You don’t mean  _ this  _ Oikawa Tōru, do you?”, she asked, extending the frame across the table as she seated herself once more. Tobio took the frame and instantly felt his heart melt as he looked at the picture within; it was an old photo from Kageyama’s first year at Kitagawa Daiichi, in which stood a very young Kageyama and Oikawa. Tobio was smiling broadly, while Oikawa’s coy smile betrayed that he already saw the younger man to be the threat to his legacy that he later revealed himself to be. Still, considering their current situation, the picture was virtually priceless. He felt himself beginning to grow misty-eyed as nostalgia flooded his senses. His voice cracked as he looked up at his parents and said, “Yeah--  _ this  _ Oikawa Tōru.” Again his mother happily exclaimed, “Oh, Tobio!”. “Where’d you find this?”, Tobio asked, staring at the picture once more. His mother smiled gently. “I guess you really  _ haven’t  _ been home in a while. I decorated your bedroom with all your old trophies and awards and pictures.” “Can… can I keep this?”, the young man asked, absentmindedly running a finger over fifteen year old Oikawa’s face. “Of course”, his mother cooed.

“You know”, started the elder Kageyama, who’d been notably quiet for several minutes, “as we said, Tobio, we’re not trying to pressure you into anything. We love you and we just want you to be happy and comfortable. But, well. I know it’s a few months away, but if you guys are up for it, you and Oikawa could come down for the holidays. Or your mother and I could come up to you two. I mean-- we’d get a hotel, of course, or stay with your uncle. We wouldn’t impose on you kids like that. But if you don’t already have plans, just keep your mother and I in mind.” 

Tobio couldn’t help but smile. He’d come back for one Christmas since he moved to Kyoto three years ago, and though he couldn’t deny that the holidays spent on his own were lonely (and, at times, painfully so), having to come home and face the life he had to leave behind due to his injury made him far too miserable. But the thought of getting to spend a holiday together with both his parents and the man he loved seemed like a dream come true.

The Kageyama family sat and talked until one in the morning, when Tobio finally looked up at the clock and realized how late it had gotten. “I’m really, really glad I came tonight, but I have to get going. I didn’t realize how late it got. I’m sure that Tōru’s back at the hotel by now, and he’s probably wondering what happened to me.” “Text him and tell him your on your way back now!”, exclaimed his mother, pushing herself up from her chair. Tobio frowned and shook his head as he stood up as well. “My phone died at Aunt Kimi’s party, so I haven’t been able to text him all night. ...Actually”, Kageyama added as he pulled on his blazer, “Can I use your phone to call the car he arranged for me?”. “A  _ car? _ ”, his father repeated in disbelief, “Aren’t you staying downtown?”. His wife quickly smacked his chest, then turned back to her son. “Of  _ course  _ you can use our phone honey. You don’t even have to ask.” 

Soon the family stood gathered at the front door waiting for Tobio’s ride to come. “Are you  _ sure  _ you don’t need any money?”, asked Tobio’s father, fingering his wallet nervously as he affectionately badgered his son.  “I’m fine, dad.” “At least let your father give you the money to tip your driver”, frowned his mother. “I  _ have  _ the money to tip my driver.” “Don’t spend your own money on tips. Here-- take it.”  _ “Dad.”  _ “Take your father’s money.” “This is  _ way  _ more than I should be tipping.” “Is it? Well-- hold on to it. Take Oikawa out for dinner or something.” “......thanks, Dad.”

It wasn’t long before the car pulled up, and Kageyama noticed the surprised looks on his parent’s faces. “Tōru went all out for the bachelor party we went to tonight. We don’t normally live such an extravagant life.” “We didn’t say anything!”, waved his mother quickly, “Go-- enjoy your night. We love you and we’re happy you’re happy.” “Thanks guys”, smiled Tobio. And, with one more hug, Tobio said goodbye and headed out into the rain once more.  
  
  



	24. Living Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama returns to his hotel room after a successful visit to his parents.

Kageyama Tobio’s heart could not have been lighter as he stepped out of the limo into the pouring rain at nearly one thirty in the morning. He handed the driver yet another ¥2000 note and thanked the man profusely for all his help that evening before dashing through the rain towards the hotel, a modest bouquet of flowers in one hand and a picture frame in the other.

Kageyama simply couldn’t believe it: against all odds, against everything he’d spent years upon years stressing over, his family had not only accepted his sexuality, but had actually been happy for him. He couldn’t _wait_ to celebrate the good news with Oikawa!

As he stood waiting for the elevator to arrive on the first floor of the hotel lobby, memories of the earlier evening kept replaying over and over in his head, and he found himself getting lightheaded as his heart soared over how amazingly his conversation with his parents went.

An idea occurred to Kageyama as he stood watching the various numbers above the elevator illuminate, and he quickly ducked over to the guest services desk to put in a request and put some of his father’s extra spending money to use. It took a few minutes, but before long he was back in front of the elevator, pleased with the extra surprise he had managed to arrange.

The elevator finally arrived and Kageyama quickly entered the compartment, pressing the button marked ‘4’. He shifted the items in his hands and pulled out his wallet, feeling his excitement build as he fished out his hotel key card. He couldn’t _wait_ to tell Oikawa every last detail of his evening, and to hear about what had happened at the bachelor party in his absence. Most of all, he really just missed his boyfriend and couldn’t wait to see him. He looked down at the small bouquet of red roses in his hand and smiled. He’d asked the limousine driver to stop at the first twenty-four hour shop they passed, and the bouquet he picked up were the nicest the store had (which wasn’t to say much). It wasn’t quite the quality that Oikawa was used to, but it would have to do for being last minute.

Kageyama arrived at the door and slid his key into the notch in the door. The light lit up green, the door unlocked, and the young man quietly pushed his way into the suite. He was surprised to see that it was dark, though the small line of light that filtered in from the hallway revealed that Oikawa’s shoes were carelessly strewn about the front entryway. Kageyama adoringly rolled his eyes before shutting the door and kicking off his own shoes. As his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he noted that a dim light was coming from the closed bedroom door ahead. And as he began walking down the hallway, a sudden, unexpected sound filled his heart with dread: unless he was mistaken, Kageyama was pretty sure he heard Oikawa moan.

_It couldn’t be._

He froze in his tracks and just listened.

His heart was in his throat in what would have had to have been the longest few seconds of his life. The longest few seconds, that is, before he heard it again: the unmistakable sound of Oikawa moaning.

With a deep breath and great trepidation, Kageyama continued down the hallway as silently as possible. There was nothing he wanted to do less than open the door to the hotel bedroom, but he knew that he had no other option. He _had_ to know for sure what was going on, even though he had a pretty good idea what he was going to find.

He slowly turned the handle, pulled the door open, and felt his heart drop through his stomach. There before him, on the bed that, just hours ago, he’d shared with the man he thought he had a future with, was Oikawa, getting fucked by Iwaizumi. By the looks of it, both men had been going at it for some time, as both were stark naked, flushed, and coated in sweat, though neither noticed the newcomer to their private party, as their bodies were adjacent to the door.

Kageyama wasn’t sure what to do. He felt like throwing up. He’d just spent _hours_ telling his family how much he loved Oikawa, and how good they were together, all while Oikawa was _actively_ cheating on him. What was there _to_ do?

It was as if the blue-eyed man’s mind suddenly shut off. His self-defense mechanism kicked in and took over, and before he knew it, the flowers and picture frame had hit the floor and he’d turned and left the room.

He snapped on the hallway light and began pulling on his shoes, noting with disgust he’d somehow overlooked Iwaizumi’s shoes, which were were tucked neatly by the door in the front hall. From behind him came sobs of, “Tobio?” “Tobio, is that you?”. He heard the sound of hushed voices followed by footsteps and quickly whipped the door open before Oikawa could catch up to him, slamming it quickly behind him. He jogged down to the elevator and was beyond relieved to find that it was still on the same floor he’d left it on. He quickly entered the compartment, jammed his finger on the button marked ‘G’, and spammed the ‘Door Close’ button as he began hearing his name called desperately in the hallway. He was grateful when it shut and the small compartment began moving.

He quickly dashed out of the lobby into the rain and down the street where he ducked into a convenience store. Once he’d grabbed a few necessities, he flagged down a taxi and quickly climbed into the back of it. “Geez, man, you’re soaked!”, exclaimed the driver, “Rough night?”. “Yeah, you could say that”, frowned the dark haired man, “Hey-- how quickly do you think you could get me to Miyagi Central Station?”. The driver lulled his head for a moment before saying, “Eh- it’ll be about fifteen minutes.” “Okay”, Kageyama nodded, looking towards the clock on the dashboard which read 1:43, “The last train home leaves at 2:08, so I should be okay.” “Hang on”, grinned the driver, adjusting his mirror, “I’ll get you there with time to spare.”

As the driver sped down the main streets of Miyagi, Kageyama began digging through the bags he got from the convenience store. Soon he had his phone attached to his newly purchased power bank and wire. He pulled out a ¥1000 note and the moment the taxi pulled up in front of the station tossed it in the front of the car, thanked his driver, grabbed his bags, and bolted.

Kageyama quickly bought his train ticket, double checked the gate number, and jumped onto the train with two minutes to spare. He sat with anxiety coursing through his veins for a good half hour after the train departed from the station, just waiting for Oikawa to suddenly show up. But the further they went from Miyagi, the more certain he became that Oikawa didn’t catch the train heading home. And while he was relieved that he wouldn’t have to spend the entirety of a five hour train ride in the presence of the man who had literally just cheated on him, a part of him was hurt even more deeply that he somehow wasn’t worth Oikawa hurrying and catching the last train home to try to make amends. Kageyama wondered if Oikawa even ultimately cared that he’d just effectively completely destroyed their relationship. He wondered if his two former teammates were still in bed and his stomach turned.

It was nearly two hours before Kageyama realized that his phone likely had enough battery to turn back on. When he dug it out of his bag from the convenience store and powered it up, he was horrified to see that he had over fifty missed calls from Oikawa and nearly thirty voicemails. He wasn’t prepared to listen to them. He didn’t care to hear the brunette’s excuses. There was nothing he could say to justify sleeping with Iwaizumi. Kageyama fell for his bullshit once before; there was no way he was going to let him talk his way out of infidelity. There were also countless text messages, some more coherent than others, begging Kageyama to pick up the phone or go back to the hotel. At this, Kageyama openly scoffed.

He sat there for a few minutes and wondered what would happen next. At present he was feeling very numb, but he knew that a tremendous amount of heartache was waiting just around the corner, and he wasn’t sure that he was prepared to face it alone. With a good deal of anxiety, he pulled out his phone and sent out what he effectively felt was an S.O.S.

  
**Kageyama (4:15am):** hey, are you up? 

As he sat there holding his phone hoping for an answer, it began buzzing again, and Kageyama was disgusted to find that it was Oikawa. He quickly declined the call, only for his phone to ring again moments later. His phone continued ringing off the hook for nearly twenty minutes, at which point, during a nearly ten minute break in calls, Kageyama saw that he’d received a response to his text.

 **Kawanishi (4:18am):** yeah, what’s up?  
**Kawanishi (4:25am):** is everything okay?  
  
**Kageyama (4:37am):** im so sorry for the delay  
**K** **ageyama (4:38am):** im having a major problem and i was wondering if i can maybe come over?  
**Kawanishi (4:40am):** yeah of course, anytime man  
**Kawanishi (4:40am):** thats why i put my address in your phone lol  
**Kawanishi (4:40am):** you headed over now?  
**Kageyama (4:41am):** well lol thats the thing  
**Kageyama (4:42am):** im currently omw back from Miyagi. I’m literally on the train rn  
**Kageyama (4:42am):** so is it okay if i head over at like 7 or 8 in the morning?

After about ten seconds, Kageyama’s phone began ringing again. He was about to decline the call, assuming that it was Oikawa once more, when, to his surprise, he saw it was Kawanishi. He is leaned into the aisle and looked around to see if there was anyone he’d be disturbing by answering the call and was surprised to find that he seemed to have the entire train compartment to himself.

“Hello?”, he asked. “Are you okay?!”, demanded the panicked voice on the other end of the phone. Kageyama forced a laugh. “Uh-- yeah. Well-- no. But, we can talk about it when I see you.” “It’s just-- I just realized that this is the weekend that you and Oikawa were supposed to go back to your hometown. And if you’re coming home at 4 in the morning and need to come over, it has to be something serious.” “...it… it kind of is”, Kageyama admitted after a brief pause. Kageyama could practically hear Kawanishi furrowing his brow on the other end of the phone. “I’ll meet you at the train station. Do you know what time you get in?”, the older man asked. Kageyama frowned. “You don’t need to do that…” “I do”, Kawanishi interrupted, “I really do. Cuz now I’m really worried about you.” “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to--” _“What time do you get in?”,_ Kawanishi repeated firmly, clearly disinterested in Kageyama’s apologies. “It should be almost exactly 7”, the younger man admitted sheepishly, beginning to feel as if he was being far more of a burden than he’d meant to be. “Alright. I’ll be waiting. In the meantime, call me or text me if you need me”, replied Kawanishi. Kageyama shrugged, “Honestly, I think I’m gonna try to get some sleep if I can. Maybe you should try to do the same.” “Alright”, Kawanishi laughed, “Sounds like a plan. I’ll see you in two hours.” “See ya”.

Kageyama hung up the phone and settled into his seat, determined to sleep, but found this to be an impossible task. Every time he shut his eyes, all he could see was images of Iwaizumi fucking Oikawa playing over and over again in his mind’s eye. On top of that, Oikawa was still spamming his phone with calls and texts, even if they were coming in more sporadically. But he didn’t _want_ to talk to Oikawa, and wasn’t sure if he ever would again. He’d worked so hard to forgive him for past transgressions as it was; he just didn’t think he had the degree of forgiveness inside of him necessary to move forward from such a massive betrayal.

The two hours from when he hung up with Kawanishi to when he arrived in the station passed were among the longest of his life, but Kageyama was beyond relieved to step off the train and breathe in the familiar scent of Kyoto. Although he’d only lived in the prefecture for three years, it felt more like home than Miyagi ever had. He took his time leaving the train terminal, though he once he got to the main lobby, he instantly saw a familiar face waiting for him on the other side of the security entrance.

And then, to his great surprise, his eyes suddenly began welling up with tears. He did his best to continue towards Kawanishi inconspicuously, but it quickly got to the point where he could no longer see through the blur. Tears began flowing down his cheeks, and by the time he arrived in front of his friend, he was full on crying for the first time since he’d walked into his hotel room the night prior.

Without a word, Kawanishi put his arms around Kageyama and pulled the younger man into him. He gently stroked the back of Kageyama’s head as the he involuntarily unloaded all of his emotions. “It’s okay”, he cooed, “Let it out”. Passerbys stared at the two men, but, while Kageyama was completely lost in his own world, Kawanishi could not care less; he had to imagine that the situation was serious for Kageyama to be having a public breakdown like this, and all he cared about was supporting his friend.

It was quite a while before Kageyama finally pulled back and wiped his eyes. “S- sorry”, he muttered, looking down at the floor out of embarrassment. “Come on”, whispered Kawanishi, putting his arm around Kageyama’s shoulder, “Let’s get going.” The younger man nodded.

The two started walking, and after a few minutes of silence, Kageyama finally spoke. “Thank you for meeting me. You didn’t have to, and I’m sorry that I-- did _that._ ” “Kageyama”, frowned Kawanishi, “It’s _fine._ Please stop apologizing. If I didn’t care, I wouldn’t have texted you back last night.” The two walked a bit more before Kageyama spoke again. “If it’s okay with you, I’d like to stop by my place and get changed and drop off this crap”-- he gestured to the convenience store bags he held in his hands-- “and then I’d still like to go to your place, if that’s okay.” “Of course”, nodded Kawanishi. “And”, added the blue-eyed man, “Then I’ll tell you all about everything. I know it’s a little bit cruel of me to keep you in the dark like this.” “Not at all”, replied Kawanishi, shaking his head, “I assumed you wanted privacy. By the way”, he added, “this is probably not the time, given everything that’s going on, but you look really good. I like your outfit.” “Thanks”, Kageyama simpered, “I _feel_ like shit.”

It was another twenty minutes before the pair arrived at Kageyama’s apartment, where, upon reaching the front door, Kageyama sighed and muttered, _“Fuck.”_ “What’s wrong?”, asked the older man. Kageyama shook his head. “I left pretty abruptly last night and left all my stuff in the hotel. Including my keys.” Looking up and down the street, the young man bent down and carefully selected a rock. He opened a secret compartment in it, withdrew a key from it, and unlocked the front door before replacing the key and the rock. He then led Kawanishi up to the third floor, where, again, he had to unearth his hidden house key which, in this case, was underneath a decorative flower pot in the corner of the stairwell.

“Sorry about my apartment”, Kageyama said listlessly as he kicked off his shoes, “It’s small and messy. But feel free to do whatever while I go get changed. I won’t be long.” Kawanishi watched after the younger man with a pain in his chest as he walked off towards his bedroom. Something was seriously wrong, and not just whatever had happened over the weekend. Kageyama’s apartment really _wasn’t_ all that small _or_ that messy, so for the first things to come out of his mouth to be apologies along that line showed the older man that he’d been made to feel ashamed for where he lived. As he waited, Kawanishi wandered around the flat and just looked around at the type of life the man he cared about lived.

And while Kawanishi checked out his apartment, Kageyama pulled off the outfit that Oikawa had so carefully picked out for him. He opened his closet and was disgusted to find that nearly everything in there was either owned by or purchased by Oikawa; had Kageyama _really_ changed that much? After some digging in the darkest recesses of the closet, he was able to pull out a plain black t-shirt and some old jeans. It occurred to him that he might feel better after a quick shower, but as soon as he set foot inside of his bathroom, his head began spinning and he felt as if he was going to pass out. All of the memories of the countless showers he and Oikawa had taken together came flooding back, and he found himself wondering if Oikawa and Iwaizumi were cooling off in the shower of the hotel room that Oikawa and Kageyama himself were supposed to be staying in at that very moment. Kageyama was dangerously close to throwing up. He lurched back to his bedroom where he quickly changed his underwear and socks and threw on his clothes.

“Hey”, Kageyama called to Kawanishi, who’d seated himself on the couch, as the younger man emerged into the living room, “Um-- I’m sorry to totally take advantage, and this is kindof a weird question, but-- uh-- do you think I could take a shower at your place?”. Kawanishi turned around and looked at him incredulously. “...Of course you can. Can you like, stop asking stupid questions?”. Again Kageyama simpered and muttered a quiet apology. He went over to his kitchen counter, where he sorted through the things he’d purchased at the convenience store six hours earlier. He pulled out a few different types of snacks that he’d optimistically hoped he’d be able to stomach and tucked them into his cabinets. He pulled out the two tall cans of beer and put them in the fridge. He took out his phone and was unsurprised to see that he’d missed even more calls from Oikawa. In total, since leaving the hotel, he’d missed 155 phone calls, 50 voicemails (which Kageyama assumed to mean that his voicemail box was full, as the voicemails stopped long before the phone calls did), and 63 texts from Oikawa. His stomach turned at the thought of having to talk to the brunette. After deliberating for a long moment, he tossed his phone onto the counter, turned to Kawanishi, and said, “I’m ready to go if you are.”  
  
  
  



	25. A Room Full of Broken Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some insight as to how Oikawa and Iwaizumi ended up in bed together, and what happened after Kageyama left.

Oikawa Tōru was in an absolute panic.

 

He wasn’t entirely sure what had happened. He’d gotten so drunk that he could hardly stand and gone out for a cigarette to try to clear his head a little bit when Iwaizumi left his own bachelor party to join him. Iwaizumi offered to go have the conversation that Oikawa felt was six years overdue-- that they should’ve had when Iwaizumi decided to break up with Oikawa back when they both graduated from high school and Iwaizumi chose to move across the world without even  _ mentioning  _ it to his boyfriend at the time. And, even though his head was swimming and Oikawa doubted his own ability to be fully present and coherent for the conversation he’d craved for so long, the two men got a cab back to Oikawa’s hotel suite on Iwaizumi’s suggestion, so that they could have some privacy. But once they’d arrived, had a few more drinks, and settled themselves on the couch, and once Oikawa actually began to try to address some of the issues that their break up had left him with, Iwaizumi had just laughed at him. 

“Are you serious?”, Iwaizumi scoffed, setting his glass on the coffee table, “Are you  _ really  _ trying to do this right now?”. “Do wha’?”, Oikawa frowned, shakily taking a sip from his own glass before Iwaizumi took that from his hand as well. Iwaizumi threaded his arm behind Oikawa, looping it around his lower back, and said, “There’s no way you’ve gotten  _ that  _ clueless in your old age, have you?”. The brunette instinctively backed away, clumsily pressing himself into the arm of the couch. “Iwa-chan”, he said quietly, “I don’ know what you were thinkin’, but I came up here to  _ talk _ . In fact, the whole reason I came to your bach’ler party was to try to get some kin’ of closure.” “Closure?”, repeated Iwaizumi, closing the small gap that Oikawa had managed to create between the two, moving so close to the brunette that he could practically taste the pervasive scent of whiskey on his breath, “I’ll give you your closure…”. 

He put his other arm around Oikawa and pulled the younger man towards him before forcefully pressing his lips to Oikawa’s. Oikawa squirmed in his grasp, eventually freeing his lips from Iwaizumi’s but ultimately falling off of the couch as he struggled. “Iwaizumi!”, he exclaimed, using his former ace’s full surname for the first time practically since the two met, “I don’ know wha’ I didn’ make clear, bu’ I’m with Tobio now! I love him. I don’ wan’ to do this.” Seeing his opportunity, Iwaizumi climbed down from the couch and straddled the younger man. “I don’t care”, Iwaizumi said blankly. “You promised that you’d only love me. You promised that you’d be mine forever. Why am I supposed to care when  _ you _ broke your promise?”. 

Oikawa felt his heart drop into the pit of his stomach, which was already queasy and so full of so many other things. His mind was very fuzzy and things weren’t making much sense, but Iwaizumi’s words had struck a chord with him. He  _ knew  _ he’d broken his promise. He’d stayed resolute in it for so long, but it was only just recently that he finally broken down and chosen to love again. Why was he being punished when it was Iwaizumi who’d ultimately left  _ him?  _

“I’m serious”, groaned Oikawa as he tried to push himself up on his elbows but failed, “Get off of me.” “No”, Iwaizumi retorted, leaning down and kissing Oikawa once more. He was a little rougher and Oikawa struggled against him more, though Oikawa’s efforts didn’t last very long; the brunette was simply too drunk and didn’t have enough strength to fight against the man who’d proven time and time again to be far stronger than he was when sober, let alone when Oikawa felt as if his every limb were made of jello. 

After a few minutes, Iwaizumi pulled back and grinned. “Fight all you want, but it’s obvious that at least one part of you missed me.” He punctuated his statement by grinding down into Oikawa’s pelvis, where the brunette’s rock hard erection was pressing up into Iwaizumi’s ass. Oikawa face flushed even deeper and he turned his head to face the couch. “It’s not on purpose”, he slurred, beginning to feel a deep internal conflict regarding what was going on, as the combination of helplessness, guilt, and a surplus of alcohol threatened to eject the full contents of his stomach. 

On one hand, he  _ knew  _ that it was wrong. He loved Tobio and didn’t want to hurt him. He hated himself for even being in the position he was in in the first place. He felt so  _ stupid  _ for believing that his former ace actually wanted to talk, and wanted Iwaizumi to get off of him and leave and never contact him again. But on the other hand… Iwaizumi was right. Oikawa had spent years upon years missing him desperately. He couldn’t even try to imagine the number of nights he’d cried himself to sleep over his ex, or the number of people he had hurt because of the way he’d hardened his heart as a result of Iwaizumi’s cold breakup. If he could go back in time and change the way everything had turned out… well, he wasn’t sure that he wouldn’t.

Tears began flowing out of the brunette’s eyes, but he didn’t stop Iwaizumi when the older man stood and picked him up and carried him to the bedroom. He didn’t stop him when he began kissing him again, or when he began stripping him of his clothes. He even felt his face blush deeply when Iwaizumi pressed his lips flush against his ear and growled, “How is it possible that you became even sexier since I saw you last?”. 

Oikawa found himself fading in and out of consciousness throughout their entire affair. One minute Iwaizumi was back to kissing him, the next his former ace was going down on him, and the next he was on all fours being fucked. Oikawa didn’t remember how it started, but he assumed that Iwaizumi started off gently, because he wasn’t in a tremendous amount of pain yet despite not having played the role of bottom in several years (or perhaps it was the copious amount of alcohol that made him numb to nearly everything).

Oikawa wasn’t sure how long it was into their foray that the older man leaned forward and growled, “Wow, you’re still so tight. Have you gotten fucked at  _ all?”.  _ All Oikawa could do was moan in response. “Mmm, you like that, don’t you, my little slut?”, Iwaizumi purred. Again, Oikawa moaned, arching his back and burying his face in the bed. Obviously dissatisfied with having the brunette silence himself, Iwaizumi reached down and grabbed a fistful of Oikawa’s hair, pulling him back up. Instinctively, Oikawa cried out, “Mmf,  _ Tobio!”.  _

Iwaizumi paused for a brief second before completely switching gears, choosing instead to push Oikawa’s head back into the bed. He ramped up his speed and began pounding his former setter with clear disregard to any pain he might be subjecting the younger man to. Oikawa found himself moaning in spite of himself, half out of pain, half out of pleasure, and he knew from experience that his ace didn’t have long left.

But then, all of a sudden, came a loud crash. It took Oikawa a long moment to get his bearings, but when he finally identified the direction of the sound of the crash, he saw a bouquet of flowers and something else he couldn’t readily identify on the floor and a wave of sobriety instantly crashed over him, granting him immediate clarity as to where the random items had come from.

“Tobio?”, he called out, pulling away from Iwaizumi who still, for some godforsaken reason, was trying to keep going, “Tobio, is that you?”. Panic was gripping his every sense, as he realized exactly what had happened, and exactly what Kageyama had walked in on. Iwaizumi tried grabbing the brunette by the waist and pulling him back, but Oikawa was done. “What the fuck is wrong with you?!”, he hissed, “Get off of me!”. “Come on-- the damage is done”, insisted Iwaizumi, “There’s no reason we can’t keep going!”. Oikawa stood up, ripping a sheet off of the bed as he dashed towards the door. “You’re fucked in the head, you know?”, he said, before ripping the bedroom door open. “Tobio?”, he called, though now the panic had fully taken over, and Oikawa’s voice clearly reflected it. “Tobio!”

When he turned into the hallway, he saw the door to their suite slam shut. He quickly dashed towards it, where, sheet wrapped around his waist, he ran out into the hallway. “Tobio?!”, he cried into an empty hallway. He’d begun running down the hall, desperate to make it to the elevator before the love of his life got away, when he was suddenly airborne. “Tobio!”, he cried out as Iwaizumi threw him over his shoulder, “Tobio!!!”.

Back in the hotel room, Iwaizumi set a very belligerent and hysterical Oikawa down on the edge of the bathtub and forcibly blocked him from getting down. “Move!”, Oikawa cried. “Stop”, growled the older man. “Let me down!”, howled the brunette. “Oikawa,  _ calm down!” “‘Calm down’?!”,  _ the younger man cried in disbelief, “ _ ‘Calm down’?!  _ That’s easy for you to say! You didn’t just have your life ruined! Now let go of me you ape!” “Tōru, you. Are. Bleeding! Now stop fucking moving and let me get the goddamned glass out of your feet before you hurt yourself any further!”. At this, Oikawa looked down and noticed that there was indeed a small puddle of blood gathering beneath him on the floor. “W- where’d I step on glass?”, Oikawa asked as he allowed Iwaizumi to swivel him so his feet were now in the tub. Oikawa pulled the sheet up a bit though he still kept himself covered, as if the two hadn’t just spent nearly an hour engaging in various forms of sexual activity. Iwaizumi shrugged as he ran warm water over Oikawa’s feet. “I think it’s whatever Kageyama-kun dropped in the bedroom.” Oikawa nodded slowly but soon burst into tears again. Although he loathed the idea of appearing weak in front of Iwaizumi, he just couldn’t hold himself back. He was pretty sure that he’d just completely and totally ruined his life.

“Iwa-chan”, he sobbed pathetically, “C- can you get me my phone?”. Iwaizumi looked up from where he was poised at the other end of the tub with one of Oikawa’s feet in his hand, a tiny shard of glass in the other, and asked, “...Are you fucking kidding me?”. Oikawa bit his lip in an effort to quell its quivering, but ultimately shook his head. Iwaizumi sighed, carefully lowered Oikawa’s foot into the light pink water, stood, and asked, “Where is it?”. “I- in my pants pocket”, Oikawa replied, clearly trying not to burst out in sobs once more. Iwaizumi left the room for a long minute before returning with Oikawa’s requested device. “Here”, he said, offering it to the brunette before returning to his feet. Oikawa immediately dialed Kageyama’s number. His heart sank when it went straight to voicemail. “T- T- Tobio”, he started, doing his best to steady his voice, “P- please come back. I know there’s no excuse for what you saw, b- but I love you, and I’ll do anything if you’ll just talk about it with me. J- just please, come back…”. With that, he sadly hung up the phone, although after a moment, he called back. “Or”, he said, adding to the voice message, his tears becoming more apparent in his voice as their flow from his eyes only increased, “You could call me and tell me where to meet you. L- like I said, I’ll do any-- anything. I- I’m sorry Tobio. I love you.” Again he hung up. Another minute elapsed and he found himself calling again, and this time he added, “Tobio, please just let me know where you went. I love you with all my heart, and I’m so, so sorry, and I just want to know that you’re okay. Just call me to let me know that you’re alright,  _ please. _ ”

After his sixth successive call, Iwaizumi looked up at the hysterical man, whose bloodied feet he was still cleaning out. “Tōru”, he said solemnly, “Please. Have some self-respect.” “If I had some self-respect”, Oikawa snapped, “I never would’ve come to your fucking party in the first place, let alone be talked into coming back up here with you!”. Iwaizumi was taken aback by this proclamation. He sat back and watched as Oikawa dialed Kageyama once more, knowing that they both knew full-well that he was only going to be sent to voicemail once more. “Tobio”, he sobbed into the phone, “I love you. You know I love you. There’s nothing I could ever say or do to make this right, but I swear, no matter what happens, I will never stop trying. I miss you. I’ve missed you from the second you left me tonight. And I’m sorry. Please.  _ Please,  _ Tobio, just let me know that you’re okay. Even if you have someone else reach out to me-- just tell me that you’re okay.” 

There was so much in the contents of this 30 second message for the older man to take in. When he and Oikawa had broken up, Oikawa hadn’t reached out to him at all. It was, in fact, Iwaizumi who reached out first, at which point he found Kageyama in Oikawa’s bed. It was only after he verbally ripped Oikawa apart and moved to America that Oikawa began reaching out, but once Iwaizumi told him to leave him alone, Oikawa did just that. But here Oikawa was mere minutes out from something that wasn’t even definitely a break up, crying like a baby and begging Kageyama to come back as if he were begging for his life. He even outright said that he would never give up. As desperate and pathetic and broken as Oikawa came across, there was a part of Iwaizumi that couldn’t help but feel…  _ jealous _ . As if somehow Kageyama had some magic hold over Oikawa that Iwaizumi himself could never hope to have…

“Are you done?”, Oikawa asked, drawing his left foot up to look at the bottom of it. Iwaizumi rolled his eyes. “Some gratitude”, he muttered, “...You know, I don’t  _ have  _ to do this.” “Then why are you doing it?”, asked Oikawa as he picked a lone piece of glass out of his heel. “Because”, retorted Iwaizumi, returning his attention to Oikawa’s right foot, “I know you. You would’ve walked right out of this goddamn hotel, half-naked with shards of glass grinding into your feet. I  _ know  _ you wanted to go after him. But I wasn’t going to let you hurt yourself, especially after I saw the trail of blood after you.” Oikawa sighed after picking another small shard out of his baby toe. “I wish you would’ve.” 

As Oikawa’s tears started flowing again, Iwaizumi finally felt himself overcome with an immense sense of guilt. “Tōru…”, Iwaizumi started, “...I’m sorry. I… I didn’t realize how strongly you felt for Kageyama-kun.” At this, Oikawa felt himself sort of freeze. “Y- you…  _ what?”,  _ he asked in total disbelief that he heard what he thought he heard. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize how strongly you felt for Kageyama.” Oikawa set both of his feet down, turned, and looked Iwaizumi in the eye. “Iwaizumi… you are engaged to be  _ married.  _ How can you not understand how strongly I feel for Tobio?”. Iwaizumi sat back on his heels, looking slightly put off by the question he was being posed. “I-- I don’t know”, he said, rubbing the back of his head, “I guess I thought what we had was one of a kind…?”. Oikawa was dumbfounded. “...are you telling me that you don’t feel as strongly for Anna as you felt for me?”, he asked incredulously. “...No, I  _ don’t.  _ Are you telling  _ me  _ that you feel as strongly for  _ Tobio  _ as you felt for  _ me? _ ”, asked Iwaizumi, now looking as though he’d been struck. “....YES!”, exclaimed Oikawa, completely horrified that he even had to be entertaining this discussion.

Oikawa felt like his head was going to explode. The brunette closed his eyes, drew in a deep breath through his nose, slowly breathed out, and, in as calm a voice as he could muster, said, “Iwa-chan. If you thought that what we had was one of a kind,  _ why did you end it?”.  _ The spiky-haired ace looked up from Oikawa’s right foot and was clearly dumbfounded. He carefully set the younger man’s limb down in the water, wiped his hand on his pants, and sat back on the bathroom floor. “Isn’t it obvious? Our relationship couldn’t go anywhere.”  _ Ouch.  _ That stung. Oikawa felt his eyes burning again as he choked out, “Why the hell not?”. Iwaizumi rolled his eyes. “You see, this is why I didn’t want to talk to you. I knew you were gonna be dramatic about it and--”  _ “Why not?”,  _ Oikawa repeated, steeling his voice as best as he could. The older man sighed and hugged his legs to his chest. “Well, I mean, it never could’ve worked, cuz I’m not gay.”

At this, Oikawa cocked his head. He really could not wrap his head around the words his ex-boyfriend had just said. “...You’re not gay… but you’ll fuck guys, and be in relationships spanning years with guys, and tell guys that you love them…?”, Oikawa asked incredulously. “Not  _ guys _ ”, Iwaizumi sighed,  _ “You.” _

“You have always been the exception. I had a hard time coming to terms with my feelings for you because, besides you, I’ve never looked  _ twice  _ at another guy. But I wanted you in every way. I loved you with everything I was. And that’s part of why I left.”

“I never wanted this. I didn’t want to settle down with a man. I wanted a  _ normal  _ life. I wanted a wife and kids. I didn’t want to deal with coming out or discrimination or homophobia. And I mean, in all honesty, I thought you were in the same boat as me. I thought we had a special bond, and that when we were over, you’d go back to women, too.” Oikawa’s face wore very clear disgust. “For someone who didn’t want to deal with homophobia, you certainly are spewing some heteronormative shit right now.” “I’m sorry”, Iwaizumi frowned, “I never had any reason to think otherwise. That’s part of why I was so furious when I caught you in bed with Kageyama.  _ I  _ was supposed to be your exception. But there you were, fucking Kageyama to spite me and--” 

“Hold on”, interrupted Oikawa, shaking his head vehemently, “Before you continue, I need to make this clear. I  _ tried  _ to tell you all those years ago, but it’s pretty apparent that nothing got through to you that night:  _ I didn’t sleep with Tobio to spite you.  _ You broke up with me. Tobio was interested in me. I wanted something to help dull the pain, Tobio was--”. The anger and frustration that the conversation between the two men had built did well to hold off Oikawa’s pain, but as he spoke of what had drawn him to Kageyama all those years ago, he felt the tears come rushing back again. His voice wavered, and though he tried to press on in spite of the tears that were spilling out of his eyes, there was no hiding the pain that he was in as he spoke. “--T- Tobio was really into m- me and j- just wanted to please me. He was f- fine with no strings attached. And if you n- never came back, I honestly might have started dating him for real that-- that--” Oikawa let out a big sob and hung his head. It took him a moment to gather some semblance of composure before he could press on. “--that night.” “Even though you were moving to Kyoto?”, Iwaizumi asked skeptically. Oikawa nodded solemnly. “I w- was falling for him at that point already. It was never to spite  _ you.  _ It had nothing to do with  _ you.  _ He wanted me to give him a chance and I did.”

“Well…”, continued Iwaizumi, shrugging off what Oikawa had just said, “Whether you hooked up with him to spite me or not, all of the other things still stand: I didn’t want to settle down with a man. I loved you, and I felt like you betrayed me by hooking up with Kageyama. And all of this is a big part of why I left Japan and never came back. I had to get away from you or I  _ was  _ going to wind up living a life I didn’t want. There’s no way a break up would’ve come naturally between us. We got along so well. We were so-- so happy,” Iwaizumi wiped a tear from his eye as he spoke, “But it couldn’t last. Like I said, it wasn’t what I wanted.” “But what about what  _ I  _ wanted?!”, sobbed Oikawa, “What about  _ my _ happiness?”. 

Oikawa swiveled out of the tub to face Iwaizumi, who tried protesting but got immediately shut down. “Do you have  _ any  _ idea what you did to me?! I haven’t had a  _ single  _ relationship since you left me! I mean, I can’t  _ tell  _ you how many people I’ve hooked up with. But relationships? No. Because I  _ remember  _ the promise I made you. But, more than that, I can never be certain that whoever the next person is won’t do  _ exactly  _ what you did-- string me along, let me fall in love with them, let me trust them and become dependent on them, and then just drop me with no explanation.”

“And now!”, cried the brunette, tears streaming down his face as he illuminated his phone and was heartbroken to see that he hadn’t heard back from Kageyama yet, “Now-- on my first attempt at a relationship since we broke up-- my first attempt at trusting someone, my first time loving someone and letting someone in--  _ of course  _ you have to fucking show up and ruin everything! I mean--  _ honestly, Iwa-chan--  _ what have I  _ ever  _ done to you, to make you so fucking set on ruining my life?” 

“Tōru, I-- I’m sorry. Like I said… I was wrong… About everything. I made so, so many wrong assumptions and changed all of our lives based on them. And I’m sorry.” “Sorry doesn’t get me my boyfriend back”, Oikawa snapped, checking his feet one final time before finally deciding to stand. He pulled the sheet tight around him and began gingerly walking back towards the bedroom. 

“Tōru, where are you going?”, Iwaizumi called after the brunette. After a long moment without answer, he emerged from the bathroom, and immediately felt his heart break for the man he once loved who was now kneeling over the small collection of objects left by Kageyama. As Iwaizumi slowly approached, he saw Oikawa’s shoulders quaking as he hung his head. The older man knelt beside his ex-lover and placed a comforting hand on the brunette’s back. Clutched in Oikawa’s hands was a broken picture frame containing a now tear-splotched photo of Kageyama and Oikawa from nearly a decade prior. Iwaizumi remembered the day the picture was taken well; it was after the last practice before their first tournament of Oikawa and Iwaizumi’s third year at Kitagawa Daiichi. Iwaizumi had to admit that both Oikawa and Kageyama were particularly adorable in this picture; Kageyama looked happy and full of hope, while Oikawa was young, cute, and snarky. 

“Tōru…”, Iwaizumi whispered hoarsely as the younger man’s shoulders continued to shake next to him. Oikawa turned and looked into his former ace’s eyes before completely collapsing on Iwaizumi’s shoulder, allowing the older man to hold him as he sobbed. “...Tobio…!”, Oikawa cried between sobs, “...Tobio…!”. Iwaizumi rubbed his back up and down in an effort to try to soothe the younger man. “Oh, Iwa-chan, I can’t believe I fucked up the best thing that ever happened to me!”, the brunette howled. “I’m sorry”, Iwaizumi whispered, “I’m so, so sorry”. 

As the two sat on the floor, Iwaizumi holding Oikawa and Oikawa hugging the broken picture frame to himself, a sudden knock on the hotel room door startled both men. Oikawa turned, stunned for a moment, to look at the origin of the sound before quickly scrambling to his feet and dashing to the door as if his life depended on it. He flung it open, barely clinging to the sheet he still had wrapped around his waist, tears still wet upon his face… and found himself face to face with a total stranger.

“Good evening”, smiled a well dressed man, quickly extending the silver bucket containing a bottle of champagne that he’d been holding, “Here is your delivery. Congratulations from all of us!”. Oikawa awkwardly accepted the offering as he grappled with the sheet. “Have a good night!”, chimed the man before turning to leave. “W- wait!”, called Oikawa. The man stopped, turned politely, and asked, “Is there something else with which I may assist you?”. “Um-- yeah--”, stammered the mostly-naked brunette, “Who sent this?”. The well dressed man smiled broadly and bowed his head slightly. “It was the other guest of this room, sir. He stopped in at guest services before returning to your room for the night.” “O- oh”, Oikawa replied, voice shaking as he looked down at the bottle in his hands. “Is there anything else, sir?” “N-no...”, Oikawa replied. “Have a good night, sir.” 

Oikawa slowly shut the door and just stared at the bucket of champagne. 

“Are you okay?”, came a voice from behind him.

The brunette turned slowly to face Iwaizumi. “I need to go home.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to Blueismybusiness whose insightful comments on the last chapter inspired me to tweak and enhance a few things in this chapter :)


	26. Finding Tobio

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa returns to Kyoto to try to find Kageyama and beg him not to leave.

“Home?”, Iwaizumi repeated, “Like, to Kyoto?”.

“Home”, Oikawa nodded, “Now.”

Iwaizumi shook his head. “You know it’s like 2:30 in the morning, right? The trains aren’t running.” “I’ll figure it out”, Oikawa said resolutely, setting the bucket down in the hallway before striding into the bedroom. He quickly began pulling clothes out of his suitcase and started dressing as Iwaizumi followed him into the room. “How do you even know that Kageyama went home?”, the older man asked, folding his arms and propping himself up in the door frame.

“Tobio’s conversation with his parents went well”, Oikawa said as he began throwing his and Kageyama’s possessions in their suitcase, “That’s why he came back with flowers and the picture of us and ordered for champagne to be delivered to the room. He came back to celebrate. So there’s no way that he’d go back home to his parent’s house tonight; he’s not about to make them think that this kind of thing is common in gay relationships, especially after  _ just _ getting their approval. He  _ could  _ go to his friends, but I don’t think that’s likely either. He and I had some issues earlier on in our relationship, and I don’t think that he’d open himself up to ‘I told you so’s so soon after being hurt. I think he’s going to go home and be by himself. I need to go home. I need to beg him to take me back.” “Do you really think he’s going to?”, Iwaizumi asked apprehensively. Oikawa’s hurried movements stopped for a moment as he weighed the probabilities before looking up at the older man and simpering helplessly. “I don’t know. I don’t deserve it, but I don’t know what I’ll do with myself if he doesn’t.” 

As he resumed bustling around, Oikawa looked back to his ex and said, “...Can I ask you a question?”. Iwaizumi nodded, “Shoot.” “Are you seriously still going to marry Anna?”, Oikawa asked sadly. The older man stretched his neck and rubbed the back of his head. “Yeah…”, he started, “...Why wouldn’t I?”. Oikawa pulled out Kageyama’s phone charger from beside the bed and threw it into the suitcase before turning back to Iwaizumi. “All the things that you’ve said and done tonight make me think that you  _ really  _ shouldn’t be marrying this girl. I mean, first off, you cheated on her with me--” “I don’t really count that as cheating, though”, Iwaizumi shrugged, “Like I said, I’m not gay. You’re my one exception. It’s not like this is something that can go anywhere else-- it was a one time fling. I’m not gonna hook up with other guys, I’m not gonna cheat on her with other women. And, to be fair, I feel more like I cheated on  _ you  _ with  _ her.”  _ Oikawa shook his head before turning to make sure he had nothing left in the bedroom. “That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard, and I think you know that. How do you think that Anna would feel if she knew that you don’t feel as strongly for her as you feel for me?”. “Of course it would hurt her”, Iwaizumi shrugged, “But it’s not something she ever needs to know. And, I mean,  _ of course  _ I love her. I wouldn’t be marrying her if I didn’t. She’s beautiful and she’s smart and she’s fun. She’s just… not…  _ you. _ ” “I stand by what I said earlier:”, Oikawa said as he carried his suitcase out into the hall, “You’re fucked in the head.” Iwaizumi shrugged. “I’d have to be, to have loved you the way that I did.”

“So what now?”, the former ace asked as Oikawa sat down on the couch. Oikawa held a finger up to the older man and, after a second, began speaking into his phone. “Tobio, I’m pretty sure that your phone is dead or off, and I’m pretty sure that you’re headed home. I’m gonna come find you. If I’m wrong and you’re still in Miyagi, I’ll come right back. Just-- call me. Tell me where I can find you. Until then, I won’t stop searching. I love you and I’m sorry. I’m just-- I’m  _ sorry,  _ Tobio.” 

Oikawa then hung up the phone and began tapping away. “Give me a sec”, he mumbled. Iwaizumi came over and sat next to him in silence as the brunette swiped furiously on his device. It was nearly ten minutes before Oikawa finally spoke. 

“Okay. So the trains don’t start running until six. I could catch a taxi to Tokyo, which’ll take about four hours, and then take the train to Kyoto, which is another three hours, and I’ll get in at like 10. Or I could get a taxi to Tochigi which’ll take like three hours  and take the train from  _ Tochigi  _ to Kyoto which is another four, and get in around ten as well.” “OR you could just wait here until six and take the direct train and get in, what, an hour later?”, suggested Iwaizumi irritably. Oikawa shot Iwaizumi a glare. “I need to get back as soon as possible.” “Do you know what it’ll  _ cost  _ you to get a three- or four-hour taxi ride?”, Iwaizumi asked with a frown. “Do you know what it could cost me to not?”, the brunette retorted.

Oikawa stood and crossed the room. As carefully as he could, he lifted the bouquet from what remained of the glass from the picture frame, shaking the roses out as best as he could. As he turned the arrangement over, examining it for the first time, he realized that Kageyama had likely thought to pick up flowers on his way back to the hotel as a last minute thoughtful gesture. Oikawa felt himself tearing up yet again as he  carefully tucked the bouquet and the frame on top of his clothes in the suitcase and zipped it up. 

“Well”, he said, turning to Iwaizumi, “I can’t say this wasn’t the worst experience of my life.” “I know”, nodded the older man, “And I’m sorry. If I could take it all back, I would.” The brunette checked the time on his phone once more, simpered, and said, “Well. I-- I’m going to get going.” “I guess me too”, shrugged Iwaizumi. As they approached the door, Oikawa turned back and appraised the suite behind him. “Blood, broken glass, a bunch of alcohol taken from the liquor cabinet… I can’t  _ wait _ to get the final bill on this room…”.

The two men left the hotel room together and took the elevator ride in silence. When they got to the street, Oikawa nervously fingered the handle of his suitcase. “I guess this is goodbye for real then”, he said quietly. Iwaizumi shrugged, “It doesn’t have to be…”. “No”, Oikawa said severely, “It does.” “How do you figure?”, asked the former ace, frowning as he crossed his arms. The brunette shook his head. “I don’t think I should have to outline it for you. You literally just ruined my life--  _ again.  _ I said no repeatedly and you ignored it. You cheated on your fiancee and justified it. And, well, if the man I love, by some miracle, decides to take me back, there’s no way that we’ll be allowed to keep in touch. Don’t get me wrong: I’m grateful to have finally gotten the closure I needed after all these years. And I’ve missed having you as my best friend. But you’ll be in America anyway-- it’s not like it matters.”

Iwaizumi exhaled slowly before laughing awkwardly. “Oof”, he laughed, “Alright, I get it. Well. If it doesn’t work out with Kageyama or if you change your mind, I’m open to being friends again.” “Good to know”, Oikawa said awkwardly. 

“Well…”, Iwaizumi said, trailing off. 

Finally Oikawa stuck out his hand in the offer of a handshake. “Good luck with everything.” The older man took his hand and gripped it tightly. “You too”, he said sincerely, before pulling his ex into a hug. The two exchanged a true, meaningful goodbye hug for what each was sure would be the last time. When they pulled away, they said their goodbyes and Oikawa headed off towards the main street where he hoped to find a taxi.

 

Oikawa found his ability to exercise his already limited self control lessening exponentially throughout his three hour taxi ride and four hour train ride. He knew he must’ve called Kageyama over a hundred times, though he hesitated to actually go back and tally the numbers, and his phone stopped keeping track after nine. So all his call records said was Tobio (Outgoing) (9) again, and again,  _ and again.  _ Once he filled up Kageyama’s voicemail box, he resorted to texting the younger man, though he still continued to call, in case Kageyama decided to turn his phone back on (or plug it in, whatever the case may be).

Oikawa knew that he’d especially gone overboard when, just after four, in the midst of the routine that was becoming these hundred-some-odd phone calls, instead of going straight to voicemail, Kageyama’s phone  _ actually rang.  _ The ringing stopped almost immediately and he was redirected to voicemail yet again, but he found his sense of hope revitalized. “Tobio!”, he exclaimed excitedly, “Tobio-- your phone rang! Does-- does that mean it’s back on? Oh, God--”, he whispered, his eyes filling up with tears, “I hope you’re listening to these messages. Please-- just get back to me. Even if you don’t want to talk to me, I  _ need  _ to hear from you. Just tell me you’re okay! I mean-- I’m assuming you’re alive, since your phone just went on-- but--! I’m gonna try you again! I love you!”. And with that, Oikawa began absolutely  _ baragging  _ the younger man’s phone with calls until, nearly twenty minutes later, he finally seemed to get the message that Kageyama did not want to talk to him. Oikawa tried to restrain himself, tried to think of other things, but within ten minutes, he was calling the blue-eyed man once more, begging him to just say  _ anything.  _ It even got so bad that, at one point, the taxi driver looked up in his rear-view mirror and said, “Look, man, I know it’s not any of my business, but--”, only to be cut off by the brunette, who confirmed, “You’re right. It’s not your business. So I don’t need advice, thanks.”

By the time he wrenched his suitcase out of his last taxi of the night (morning?), he was certain that the number of calls and texts he’d placed to Kageyama could qualify the younger man for a restraining order; he just hoped that Tobio was open to reconciliation. He tried ringing the bell and calling Kageyama a few more times while he stood outside his apartment before ultimately deciding to use his set of keys to go in. After all, back when he had  his own  meltdown, if Tobio hadn’t broken into his apartment, Oikawa very well could’ve died from alcohol poisoning. Who was to say that Kageyama wasn’t in an equally compromising position?

Oikawa weighed the pros and cons of showing himself into Kageyama’s apartment as he carried the suitcase up the stairs to the younger man’s flat, finding himself to be about as exhausted as he should be, given the facts that he’d pulled an all nighter (during which he’d been black out drunk), traveled halfway across the country, and cried his heart out for hours on end. On the one hand, he was incredibly worried about Tobio. He knew that, were he in Kageyama’s shoes, he’d be engaging in some very self-destructive behaviors, having witnessed what Kageyama saw. But on the other hand, a part of him worried that forcing the younger man to see him prematurely would just alienate him further and be the final nail in the casket for their relationship. Once he got to the door to Tobio’s apartment, knocked, and received no answer, however, all questions in his mind were completely eliminated, as he knew that Kageyama’s safety had to come above all else. 

His heart sank when, upon bursting into Kageyama’s apartment, there was no sign of the younger man. “T- Tobio?”, he called out into the quiet flat. No answer. Had he been wrong? Had Tobio actually stayed in Miyagi last night?

Oikawa gently set down the suitcase, slipped off his shoes, and walked gingerly towards Kageyama’s bedroom. “Tobio…?”, he asked again, his voice uncertain as he flipped up the light switch. He was once more disappointed to find that the room was empty, completely unchanged since the couple left it on Friday morning. Except…

As the brunette turned to leave the room, out of the corner of his eye he noticed a small pile of clothes on the floor by Tobio’s bed. Upon closer inspection, he was relieved to find that the items were, in fact, the outfit he’d worn to Iwaizumi’s bachelor party! Oikawa gasped and gathered the pile, hugging the articles to him as he sank to his knees. Tears flooded his eyes as he breathed in Tobio’s familiar scent, and soon the brunette was overcome with grief once more, pushed into hysterics by the slightest flicker of the thought, _ ‘I might never get to smell this again.’  _ He fell to the ground and allowed himself to cry it out for a few minutes, only stopping himself when he realized that the pile of clothes that he was so desperately clinging to answered as many questions as it presented. He now knew for sure that Kageyama had come home; the question that remained was  _ where was he now?  _  If he wasn’t home, where could he possibly be?

It took a few minutes for Oikawa to fully regain his composure, and though he did eventually set Tobio’s clothes down, he kept the light button-down shirt the younger man had worn and carried it around like a comfort blankey as he scoured the apartment for any further sign of Kageyama’s presence. Aside from the clothing on the floor, the bedroom and bathroom were wholly unchanged from how they’d been when Oikawa left the flat on Friday morning. The living room appeared to be the same as well. Oikawa was beginning to lose hope. 

He flopped on the couch, heart sinking with despair, and pulled out his cell phone. He listlessly pulled up Tobio’s contact info once again, clicked his number, and held his phone to his ear. It rang once, then again, and again… and then Oikawa found himself sitting bolt upright, his phone pulled away from his ear once more, as he listened intently for the familiar sound of a cell phone vibrating against a hard surface.  _ ‘We’re sorry, but the voicemail box you are trying to reach is currently full. Please try again--” Click.  _ The call stopped. The vibrating stopped. Oikawa immediately dialed Tobio’s number again. Two rings in and the vibration started again. This time the older man hurtled off the couch, desperately seeking the origin of the sound. He followed the noise into the kitchen where he quickly spotted the device he knew to be Kageyama’s cell phone plugged in, resting on the counter. 

Oikawa quickly snatched it up, cancelling his own call and unlocking the device. He was slightly appalled to see how many missed calls there were from himself, but he decided to look through the call records to try to see if there was any indication of where Kageyama had gone, or at least if there was any clue of anyone who might know where he went. Amidst his hundred plus calls stood one name that absolutely turned his stomach, but made a lot more sense than he’d care to admit: Kawanishi. Their phone call was only about two minutes long and occurred at 4:43 am, but it was more than enough for Oikawa to know  _ exactly  _ where Tobio had gone. The brunette desperately switched to Kageyama’s text messages and read the exchange between the man he loved and the man he loathed.  _ ‘Of course, anytime man’,  _ he read,  _ ‘That’s why I put my address in your phone’. "That’s why I put my address in your phone?",  _ he repeated to himself aloud, flipping quickly to Kageyama’s address book, " _ When the hell did he do that?".  _

His stomach lurched once again when he confirmed that Kawanishi’s address was, in fact, in Kageyama’s contact list, and if he weren’t too busy desperately plugging the address into his own GPS, he might have been legitimately concerned that he was actually going to throw up when the realization that  _ Tobio was at Kawanishi’s place  _ washed over him. He did his best to shake it off, dashing out of Kageyama’s apartment the moment his phone’s GPS was ready and his keys were in hand.

 

 


	27. Consequences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa arrives at Kawanishi's apartment in the hopes of trying to talk to Kageyama.

**_BANG BANG BANG._ **

**_BANG BANG BANG._ **

Kawanishi Taichi was struggling to come to terms with his reality. He knew he definitely had not gotten enough sleep, and he wasn’t entirely sure what time it was. He pried his eyes open and was surprised to see that, asleep in his arms, lay Kageyama Tobio, the man who’d been the object of his affections for several months at this point. Slowly the memories of the morning prior began working their way back into his mind: he remembered picking Kageyama up at the train station, accompanying him to Kageyama’s apartment, and coming back to Kawanishi’s own apartment, where he held and consoled Kageyama for  _ hours  _ while the younger man told him the whole story and sobbed his heart out. Kawanishi honestly never thought the day would come where he would see Kageyama unravel the way he did, but it was clear just by how hard he’d cried that the blue-eyed man was truly heartbroken. Kawanishi’s heart, in turn, broke for Kageyama. He did his best to remain impartial and to resist the temptation of offering advice, knowing that if he were to start a romantic relationship with Kageyama, he’d want it to be under morally sound circumstances. But still… there was a part of him that hated Oikawa more than ever, and was sure that if he ever saw Aobajōsai’s former superstar setter, he would have a hard time holding back from punching him in the face.

**_BANG BANG BANG._ **

There was that sound again.

What was that sound?

As nearly impossible as it was to force himself to leave the bed, Kawanishi carefully removed the limbs of his that were draped around Kageyama and silently left his bedroom. Once he was in the hall it was clear that someone was banging on his front door.

**_BANG BANG BANG._ **

He approached the door slowly, and right after another series of ‘knocks’ (if you could even call them that) hit his door, he pulled it open a crack… and couldn’t help but laugh out loud. He carefully stepped around the door, closing it quietly behind him.

“I should’ve  _ guessed  _ you were gonna show up here”, Kawanishi laughed, folding his arms as he took note of how truly terrible Oikawa looked. His hair was flat, his eyes were swollen, and his skin was completely pale with the sole exception of his nose which was bright red. Tears were still actively streaming down his face as he stood quivering on the sidewalk outside of Kawanishi’s apartment. After a few moments and with what seemed to be great difficulty, Oikawa finally choked out, “Where’s Tobio?”.

The auburn-haired man couldn’t help but smirk. “Do you know how long I’ve waited to see that look on your face?”, he asked, leaning against the door jamb, “God-- I wish I had my phone so I could take a picture. I want to save this moment forever.”  Oikawa steeled himself. “Where’s Tobio?”, he repeated, tears falling from each eye. Kawanishi hitched his thumb behind him. “Sleeping”, he said casually, “In my bed.” 

That was all it took. With those four small words, Oikawa split at the seams, his face contorting to an expression of utmost pain of agony as he bent over, his hands dropping to his knees. As he sobbed uncontrollably, seemingly unable to so much as catch his breath, Kawanishi surprisingly found himself feeling bad for Oikawa. “Come on…”, he finally groaned, stepping forward to close the gap between the two men a little bit, “...get up…”. Oikawa wiped his tears with the heel of his palm, though it didn’t do much, as the tears just kept coming. “P- please”, Oikawa finally cried, “I- I don’t care if you two slept together… just-- just,  _ please,  _ let me see Tobio…”. 

As bad as he felt, though, at the mention of his name Kawanishi’s mind instantly snapped back to how devastatingly heartbroken Kageyama had been mere hours before, and he knew that there was no way he could allow Oikawa to walk in and break Kageyama’s heart all over again. 

Hardening his heart to the obvious pain Oikawa was in before him, Kawanishi shrugged and said, “Give me one good reason why I should let you anywhere  _ near  _ Kageyama, after what you did.” “I-- I just need to talk to him”, Oikawa sobbed, hanging his head as he cried. Kawanishi watched as tears splashed in quick succession onto the sidewalk beneath the man in front of him. “I can’t imagine what you could possibly have to say to the man whose heart you shattered as carelessly as you did…”, Kawanishi shrugged. Oikawa looked up at the taller man, tears pouring from his eyes and snot running from his nose.  _ “Please”,  _ he begged, “I need to explain--” “What could you  _ possibly  _ have to explain?”, interrupted Kawanishi, disdain seeping out of his every pore, “What’s there to explain about getting fucked by your ex the minute your boyfriend is away?”. 

The bluntness of Kawanishi’s accusation sent the brunette reeling. His tears stopped. His sobs stopped. He felt as if he’d been punched; he couldn’t breathe. “I-- I--”, he started, unable to finish a single thought.  _ “I  _ think you should go”, Kawanishi said, straightening his own posture so he towered even taller over Oikawa. At this, the brunette found his tears once more. “N- no”, he sobbed again, “Please…  _ please…  _ just… just let me see Tobio…”. 

Amidst incoherent sobs came another voice: “What are you doing here?”

Both of the other men snapped their heads in the direction of the sound of the voice and were surprised to find that Kageyama had joined them outside. “K- Kageyama!”, Kawanishi sputtered, “What are you doing awake?”. Nodding towards Oikawa, the younger man shrugged, “His wailing woke me up.” 

“T- Tobio”, Oikawa sobbed, standing upright for the first time since he began speaking with Kawanishi. Kageyama slowly turned his head to look at the brunette, and Oikawa was stunned by the coldness in his eyes as he clearly appraised the man he’d once looked at with nothing but pure adoration. “You look like shit”, Kageyama said bluntly, “Why are you here?”. Oikawa did his best to steady his voice, though there was nothing he could do to slow the steady stream of tears pouring from his eyes as he spoke. “I-- I need to talk to you.” Kageyama leaned his head back and rubbed his neck as he stared up at the sky. It was a remarkably beautiful day for such a shitty wake up. With a sigh, he groaned, “I doubt that there’s anything you have to say that I really need to hear…”. “I think you should go, Oi--”, Kawanishi started, only to be cut off by Kageyama, “...but since you seem so determined on making a scene, give me two minutes and we can go.” “K- Kageyama!”, Kawanishi sputtered, “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”. “Probably not”, Kageyama shrugged, “But I can’t avoid my apartment or my cell phone for the rest of my life, so I guess it’s better to get this over with sooner rather than later.” 

Nodding briefly to Oikawa, Tobio said, “I’ll be right out”, before turning and walking back into Kawanishi’s apartment; the auburn-haired man glanced back to Oikawa uncertainly before following Kageyama inside.

“Kageyama”, Kawanishi asked, following the younger man back towards his bedroom, “Are you  _ sure  _ you’re up to this?”. Kageyama shrugged once more as he began gathering the few things he’d brought with him. “I need to deal with it, whether I’m ready or not. But… I don’t think there’s anything he can say to make this right.” Kawanishi frowned. “So… are you going to break up with him then?”, the older man asked. At this, Kageyama’s stomach lurched and he felt his heart climb to his throat. “I-- I don’t know”, he answered honestly. He stood up, tucking the spare key to his apartment in the pocket of his jeans. “Well… um… thank you”, Kageyama started, “For everything.” “What are friends for?”, Kawanishi smiled softly. To Kawanishi’s great surprise, he was suddenly caught in a quick hug by the younger man. He felt his cheeks flush as Kageyama pulled away and said goodbye. “Good luck!”, he called after the younger man as he left his bedroom, “Let me know how it goes!”

 

Outside, Oikawa was a nervous wreck. Through their brief interaction, many things had made themselves clear. It was clear that Tobio and Kawanishi had slept together. And, although that thought absolutely destroyed Oikawa from the inside out, he knew he had no right to say anything about it given the reason they were in the circumstance they were in in the first place. It has also become painfully clear that Tobio’s feelings had changed. Tobio would never,  _ ever  _ have said ‘you look like shit’ to Oikawa before-- not in a million years-- and yet that was practically the first thing he said upon seeing the man he was supposed to love! The brunette ran a hand through his hair and, feeling how flat it was, had to admit that, as painful as it was to hear, Tobio was probably right; he probably didn’t look spectacular at that moment in time.  _ ‘Still’,  _ he thought, as he wiped more tears from his cheeks and jaw,  _ ‘I hope I can change Tobio’s feelings back…’.  _

The brunette practically jumped out of his skin when Kageyama reappeared beside him and said coolly, “Okay, I’m ready”. “R- ready?”, Oikawa repeated, tears picking up as he looked upon the man he knew he loved with all his heart and soul. Tobio nodded. “I’ll let you walk me back to my apartment. You can say whatever it is you have to say as we go.” The brunette bit his lip and nodded, and together the two set off for the half-mile trek between Kawanishi’s apartment and Kageyama’s. 

After about four blocks of total silence, Kageyama, without looking at Oikawa, said, “If you have something to say, you’d better say it soon. Your time is running short.” Oikawa felt the blood drain out of his face at this harsh suggestion, but did his best to force out his words. “W- well”, he started, “...uh… I… I mostly just wanted to explain…” “Explain  _ what?”,  _ snapped Kageyama, “Why you cheated on me? Because if your explanation has  _ anything  _ to do with that, I don’t want to hear it.” Oikawa was stunned; what was he supposed to say? How was he supposed to even begin winning Tobio back if he wasn’t allowed to explain anything about the situation? He tried to press on, choking out, “I-- I--”, before his tears consumed him completely, and soon he was just walking beside Kageyama while sobbing openly.

_ “Jesus Christ”,  _ Kageyama muttered, doing his best to avoid eye contact with the strangers who made no effort to hide their gawking stares as they passed on the sidewalk. He grabbed Oikawa by the sleeve of his shirt and hissed,  _ “Tōru, you are making a goddamn  _ **_scene._ ** _ Either get a grip or go  _ **_home.”_ ** Oikawa nodded quickly and took in a deep breath, hiccuping slightly as his sobs attempted to break through his effort to restrain them. He wiped his tears from his face and continued to quickly wipe each additional tear that fell. “...On second thought”, started the younger man, rolling his eyes impatiently, “Don’t say another word until we’re at my place. After everything else you’ve put me through, I can’t handle being this embarrassed.” 

When they got to Kageyama’s apartment and the younger man began bending down to pick up the fake rock that held the spare key, Oikawa reached into his pockets and pulled out his own set of keys without a word. Kageyama stood back up and glared at the older man. “...I guess that’s how you figured out where I was”, he remarked disdainfully, snatching the keys out of Oikawa’s hands. “I brought our stuff back with me”, the brunette replied quietly.

The two climbed the stairs and entered the apartment in silence. Kageyama sat down on the couch and indicated that Oikawa should do so as well; the older man obeyed. It wasn’t long before his tears started once more, at which point Oikawa turned to Kageyama and cried, “...you don’t want to hear any explanations I have to offer… So how am I supposed to try to get you back?! I’ll do  _ anything,  _ Tobio,  _ anything!  _ I’m so sorry-- I’ve never done anything I regret more, and I’m just  _ so, so  _ sorry, and I don’t even  _ care  _ that you and Kawanishi slept together-- just tell me what I have to do, and I’ll do it! Just-- please--  _ please  _ don’t leave me!”. At this point Oikawa was in absolute hysterics and was doubled over as he sobbed. Kageyama had to wait a few minutes before he could respond because Oikawa was simply crying too hard.

“First of all”, Kageyama said flatly once the brunette’s sobs had sufficiently subsided, staring blankly ahead, “Don’t you  _ dare  _ assume that I’m like you. I didn’t sleep with Kawanishi. I  _ wouldn’t  _ cheat on you. I went to Kawanishi because I didn’t have anywhere else to turn, but I couldn’t be by myself after the thoughts you left me with. And, for the record, he didn’t try anything either. He didn’t once tell me to leave you. He listened to me and let me vent. That’s it. I don’t care what you say, he’s a good man. ...But. To answer your other question…”. 

Oikawa swallowed hard. He could hardly breathe as he sat poised at the edge of his seat.  _ What was it going to take for Kageyama to take him back?  _ **_Was_ ** _ Kageyama willing to give him another chance? _

After a substantial pause, Kageyama took a deep breath and, still staring straight ahead, said, “Leave me alone.” Oikawa felt his heart stop.  _ Was Kageyama breaking up with him?  _ “Do not contact me. Don’t call me. Don’t text me. Don’t stop by. ...I will reach out to you when I’m ready. I don’t know when that will be. It could be tomorrow, it could be next week, it could be next month, it could be never. It’ll be up to you to decide how long you’re willing to wait. But, while you’re waiting, you also need to continue living your life. Go to work  **every day.** Keep going to therapy. Stop drinking. Stop smoking. If I call you and you’re drunk, it’s over. If I stop over and you smell like smoke, it’s over. And, if you can’t work with these terms, you can leave now, too.” “No!”, Oikawa exclaimed, jumping up, “I can do it! I can do it all! I’ll do it! I’ll wait forever if I have to!”. 

“Don’t call or text”, he said, counting off the terms on his fingers, “Go to work. Go to therapy. Stop drinking. Stop smoking. That’s it?”. “Yeah”, Kageyama nodded, finally looking at the man who’d wounded him so badly. After nearly twelve hours of sheer panic, Oikawa finally felt a glimmer of hope. “I’ll do it, I  _ swear.  _ I’ll miss you every single day, but if this is what it takes, I’ll do it all.” Kageyama stood and nodded towards the suitcase on the floor. “Take my stuff out and get whatever else you need from here. Leave my keys. You don’t have to get everything out of the apartment. If I decide that I can’t get over this I’ll have you come back and take all your stuff, cuz I’ll need to come to your place and get my shit too.”  _ “If you decide you can’t get over this…?” _ , Oikawa repeated, his voice suddenly fragile once more. Kageyama glanced at him and raised an eyebrow. “...Yes. You didn’t really think that you would just automatically be forgiven, right? I need this time away from you to think about whether or not I can move forward from such a massive fucking betrayal. I obviously still love you, which is why I’m even considering this instead of dumping you on the spot, so there’s a chance that I might be able to move forward, even after everything else that’s happened, but I have a lot to think about. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to scrub the image of Iwaizumi fucking you out of my mind. How am I supposed to continue a relationship with someone when, each time I look at them, all I see is them fucking someone else?”. Oikawa visibly recoiled at the harshness of this sentiment, and as his tears began picking up once more, Kageyama turned away and shrugged. “Like I said”, he started, as he began walking off towards the bedroom, “There’s a chance that I might be able to move forward. I don’t know. It hasn’t even been twenty-four hours. I need time.”

“I-- I understand”, Oikawa choked out. With one more glance back at the older man, Kageyama stepped into his bedroom and shut the door. 

_ No ‘I love you’. No ‘goodbye’.  _

With a knot in his stomach and a lump in his throat, Oikawa couldn’t help but wonder… would that be the last time he and Kageyama coexisted in the same room as romantic partners?

 


	28. Resurrecting the Dead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After not hearing from his friend for almost a week, Kawanishi goes to Kageyama's apartment to make sure he's okay.

It had been five days since Kawanishi had heard from Kageyama, and he was more than worried. Early Sunday afternoon, Kawanishi had received a single text message from the younger man:

 **Kageyama (12:18pm):** i didn’t break up with him. Yet. i told him i need time. So i told him not to contact me until i contact him. Thanks for everything.  
**Kawanishi (12:20pm):** No thanks necessary! That’s what I’m here for! You doing okay? You need anything?

Kageyama never responded. Kawanishi texted him daily and tried calling him several times but did not hear back from Kageyama once. By late Friday morning, Kawanishi decided to take matters into his own hands and trekked off to Kageyama’s place on his own. He tried ringing the doorbell but was unsurprised when there was no answer. He showed himself in with the spare key outside, feeling a little bit slimy as he did so, then secured the key from beneath the potted plant. Before he took the next step and showed himself into Kageyama’s unit, he tried knocking on the younger man’s apartment door, and yet again was met with silence. He was half expecting to walk into an empty apartment but was instead surprised to find Kageyama laying face down on the couch, surrounded by beer cans and take out containers.

“...Kageyama?”, he asked, shutting the door behind him. No answer. He approached the couch slowly. _“...Kageyama?”,_ he repeated again. No answer once more. Kawanishi reached out and grabbed one of the dark-haired man’s shoulders and shook him gently. “Kageyama!”, he repeated louder this time, shaking a little more aggressively as he did so. _“Nnnnnn”,_ groaned the lump of blankets he was holding onto. _‘Good’,_ he thought, breathing a little sigh of relief, _‘He’s alive’._

“I’ve been calling you”, he said, sitting down half on the edge on the couch and half on Kageyama. The pile of blankets didn’t respond. He looked around at all the garbage on the floor. He counted over twenty cans of beer. There were two pizza boxes, one open with half-eaten crusts in it and one closed, flipped over on its lid. There were also five take out containers of various sizes strewn around the couch. “...Have you left the apartment at _all?”._ No answer. “Have you left the _couch_ at all?”. No answer.

Kawanishi was getting frustrated. He understood heartbreak-- it was a place he’d been several times himself-- but he couldn’t understand someone completely abandoning all sense of self to their despair. With a huff he stood up and stormed off towards Kageyama’s bedroom. Two minutes later he returned and heartlessly ripped the blanket off of the younger man. Kageyama instinctively curled into a ball, while Kawanishi tutted at the fact that he was still wearing the same clothes Kawanishi had seen him in on Sunday. Kawanishi pushed Kageyama up into a sitting position and quickly pulled off the younger man’s shirt without explanation. He then scooped Kageyama up in his arms and walked out of the living room. Kageyama’s eyes shot open in slight panic as they stepped into the bedroom, a clear look of confusion and slight relief crossing his face when they passed the bed and continued on to the bathroom.

Before he knew what was happening, Kageyama had been dumped into the bathtub, where Kawanishi had started the shower and set it to a comfortable temperature. Kageyama sputtered and scrambled to get to his feet. “What the hell?!”, he exclaimed as he climbed to his knees, “I’m still wearing pants!”. “I wasn’t about to strip you”, shrugged Kawanishi as he scoured the linen closet for a clean towel, “But you haven’t showered since Sunday morning. I’d be willing to bet you haven’t gotten changed or even gotten off that couch except to get your deliveries. So you’re gonna shower now and we’re gonna go get some real food.” Kageyama groaned and Kawanishi continued, “I know you’re heartbroken. Trust me, I know. But you can’t just die. So bathe yourself, I’ll clean up out there, and then we’ll go get something to eat-- my treat.” “I don’t even have anything to change into”, Kageyama groaned from inside the shower as he finally climbed up to a standing position. “Yes you do”, Kawanishi called as he pulled open the bathroom door, “I set an outfit on the edge of the sink. Get yourself together and we’ll go get some fresh air.”

With that, Kawanishi shut the bathroom door behind him. He quickly set about cleaning up the living room area. It didn’t take too long, but the auburn-haired man was determined to do his best to make a big a dent on Kageyama’s apartment as possible. He pulled the blanket off the couch then went into Kageyama’s bedroom and stripped his bed. He stuffed all of the sheets and blankets into the pillowcases and put his stuff by his front door. He tossed all the garbage that Kageyama had accumulated around the couch and had was wiping down Kageyama’s coffee table with the cleansers he’d only just found when the younger man emerged from his bedroom.

“Hey!”, Kawanishi exclaimed, jumping up excitedly, “You look way better!”. Kageyama glared at him as he crossed the room. The dark-haired man knew this was a bold-faced lie; he’d done nothing but eat, drink, cry, and sleep for days on end. There was no way he could look anything  _but_ terrible.

“So, how do you do laundry here?”, the auburn-haired man asked, straightening up. “...laundry?”, Kageyama repeated. Kawanishi nodded. “Yeah, laundry. Do you go to a laundromat, or are there facilities in the building? Or do you send it to your parents? Or…?”. “There are washers and dryers in the basement”, Kageyama frowned, “But you need quarters.” Kawanishi started towards Kageyama’s bedroom. “Alright, well, I’m assuming you have detergent somewhere. So why don’t you grab that and on our way out to our early lunch we can stop in the basement and throw on a load of laundry.” “What do you have to wash?”, Kageyama called as Kawanishi disappeared out of sight. Moments later the older man reappeared with the familiar items that had been practically glued to Kageyama’s body for nearly a week in hand. _“This.”,_ the older man replied, “And your bedding. I _know_ you did nothing but lay on that couch since Sunday. ….That’s gross.” Kageyama frowned but ultimately got out his hamper, in which sat his detergent, fabric softener, and a bag full of quarters.

Kageyama begrudgingly slipped on his shoes and took one of the full pillowcases from Kawanishi’s hands. He led the older man downstairs, past the front door, and down into the basement, where Kawanishi set about loading up two of the four washers.

“Okay!”, grinned Kawanishi, setting the laundry basket on top of one of their washers in use, “Let’s go get some food! Is there anything you’re in the mood for?”. “...To go back to bed”, Kageyama groaned, listlessly following the auburn-haired man back up to the ground floor. “Mmm, Nope!”, chimed the older man, “Try again!”. “I don’t really care”, Kageyama sighed, shaking his head as they got out onto the street, “I haven’t really had an appetite.” “...I swear, the two of you…”, Kawanishi muttered under his breath, “...Okay! So, we could go to the diner or there’s this really good ramen shop around the corner… any of that sound good?”. Kageyama felt like he had rocks in his stomach. He knew that the ramen shop that Kawanishi was likely referring to was probably the one that he and Oikawa used to frequent; he didn’t want _anything_ that he used to associate with _him._ “Diner”, Kageyama blurted out in spite of himself, “Let’s go to a diner.”

Kawanishi was unusually quiet as the two walked a few blocks to the nearest diner. Once they were seated and their meals were ordered, the older man took in a deep breath. “Kageyama”, he said somberly, “I have something I have to tell you. But before I do, I need to preface it with what I know you already know. I know you’ve been through a lot this last week, but I need you to know that, if you were to go out with me, you’d never have to deal with heartbreak again. I promise I would take care of you and treat you the way you deserve to be treated. And-- Kageyama-- I know it’s unfair for me to put this all on you-- but I just want you to know that it’s an option for you. It’s _not_ why I’m here-- It’s not why I’ve been here with you through this all-- but you need to know how I feel.” A small smile crossed the younger man’s face. He placed his hand atop Kawanishi’s and nodded, “I know. And I’m sorry I can’t just say yes. I still…. I still have a lot on my mind about Oikawa.”

Kawanishi took a deep breath and nodded. “I know”, he said, withdrawing his hand, “And that’s why I hate that I’m put in this position. But… as selfish as I’d like to be… Well, there are some things you need to know.” “Oh god”, sighed Kageyama, hanging his head in his hands, “What now?”. Kawanishi shook his head. “It’s nothing like that. Or at least-- I think it’s nothing like that.”

The older man leaned forward. “...I ran into Oikawa last night.” Kageyama looked up, half-glaring at Kawanishi. “...so?”, he spat. “Actually”, laughed Kawanishi nervously, “I wound up taking him to dinner last night.” “You-- you went on a _date_ with my-- my-- _whatever he is right now?!”,_ Kageyama exclaimed incredulously. Kawanishi instantly started cracking up, though he did his best to restrain himself, knowing that Kageyama’s suffering-- while ridiculous-- was real. “No-- no, _absolutely not”,_ he laughed, wiping a tear from his eye, “Let me explain.”

“I was working the evening shift at the shop last night and around 7 a cup of noodles showed up on the counter. I looked up and didn’t even recognize the customer at first, but when I did a doubletake I realized it was Oikawa.” “He was probably finishing therapy…”, Kageyama mumbled, laying his head in his arms on the table. “He looked _terrible._ He looked like he hasn’t slept in at least a week. His eyes were somehow both puffy and sunken. His hair wasn’t done. His clothes were baggy. He looked like he lost a ton of weight. He… he really looked horrible.” “Good”, Kageyama mumbled into his arms. “No, Kageyama… I mean, I understand that you’re bitter, and you truly have that right, but I think that if you saw him, you’d probably have a little bit of a breakdown. He looks _sick._ So, I bagged up his noodles for him and gave them to him free of charge. I closed the shop early and insisted that he let me take him to dinner. He fought me on it but all I really had to do was drag his weak ass down the street and shove him into the ramen shop.”

“As soon as we were at a table, I asked him how he’d been and he broke down crying. He told me that he’d never been more miserable in his life. He said he couldn’t sleep-- all he did was go to work, then go home and hold his phone waiting for you to call. He couldn’t eat. He’d been trying, but ultimately he couldn’t hold anything down for more than five minutes. And he cautioned me about this. He told me that it would be a waste of my money to try to feed him. But I insisted and-- well-- he didn’t get two spoonfuls down before running off to the bathroom. He tried his hardest and even got the food in a to-go container but-- good god-- that man was a wreck. To his credit, though, he did not once ask me to talk to you for him. I bet he probably thought that counted as trying to contact you.”

“Is that why you asked me out today?”, spat Kageyama petulantly as his stack of pancakes arrived at the table, “To try to convince me to take Oikawa back?”. “What?”, laughed Kawanishi, waving a dismissive hand over his own sandwich, “Kageyama, dear, did you ignore my entire first monologue? ...No. I came over to check on you. When I saw Oikawa like that and realized that even _I_ hadn’t heard from you, I figured that you were likely in a similar state. I may hate him to his very core, but there is no denying that you boys love each other.” Kageyama visibly cringed at this sentence, but Kawanishi pressed on. “I would never dream of asking you to take Oikawa back. But if I were to ask anything of you… I would ask you to make a decision. Realistically, six days isn’t all that long, but you are both suffering _tremendously._ I can’t help but feel like-- no matter what choice you make-- you’ll both be better off once you decide.” “I can’t believe you suddenly care so much about Oikawa”, Kageyama scoffed, mouth full of pancakes and syrup. Kawanishi shrugged. “Me neither.”

At Kageyama’s request the topic soon changed, and both men enjoyed a reasonably pleasant brunch, all things considered. They stopped off at a small market and picked up some necessities for Kageyama before beginning their brief trek back to his apartment.

“So when we get back, I’ll run down and throw your laundry into the dryer, and--” “You really don’t have to--” “Yes. I do. And then when I’m done I’ll finish cleaning your apartment. And while I do that, you can put away your groceries, and then maybe you should spend some time thinking about what it is you want.” “Kawanishi, I told you, I--”. Kageyama’s voice suddenly cut off. The older man raised an eyebrow and looked at him, ready for a snarky comeback, but was shocked to find Kageyama’s mouth agape and eyes wide open. He turned quickly and found an old familiar face sitting on the stoop of Kageyama’s apartment. The man was tall and broad, hunched over his phone as if he’d had nothing better to be doing on an early Friday afternoon. His hair was dark and spiky, his skin was tan, and he was more muscular than Kawanishi remembered him being in high school; yes, this man was for sure, without a fraction of a doubt, Iwaizumi Hajime.

Upon noticing his company, the newcomer stood, waved politely, and exclaimed, “Yo!”.  



	29. The Full Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iwaizumi Hajime has stopped by Kageyama's apartment unexpectedly.

“Yo!”.

_ Was that really what the man who ruined Kageyama’s life going to say upon showing up unannounced on Kageyama’s doorstep? ‘Yo’? _

“Kageyama-kun! You’re a difficult man to track down, you know that, right?” 

Iwaizumi was coming closer. Kageyama was freezing up.

“Oh, who’s  _ this?”,  _ taunted the spiky-haired ace, “You got a new toy already?”. At this, Kawanishi physically placed himself between Kageyama and Iwaizumi, puffing out his chest slightly. The auburn-haired man had almost half a foot on Iwaizumi in height and-- as Kageyama was just realizing-- could be quite intimidating if he tried. “Actually, Iwaizumi Hajime, you may not remember me, but we’ve met before. I am Kawanishi Taichi, former middle blocker from Shiritorizawa. Kageyama and I are close friends from college, and I am trying to help him recover after your deplorable disregard for his relationship.” Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow. “ _ Recover _ , huh? I see...”, he said, drawing out the ‘e’, taking a large step back out of Kawanishi’s shadow, “Well,  _ Kawanishi Taichi,  _ unfortunately, I have travelled  _ quite  _ the distance to speak with Kageyama-- not you. So if you’d kindly-- you know--  _ get lost--  _ that’d be great.” Kawanishi folded his arms. “Considering the damage you’ve done to Kageyama’s life as of late, I’m going to have to decline your request.” Iwaizumi did his best to peer around the tall wall that was Kawanishi. “Kageyama”, he said flatly, “Can you please tell your man to ease up on the guard dog act for like, two minutes? I didn’t come all this way to talk to this dude’s chin.” 

At this Kageyama stepped out from behind the taller man and appraised Iwaizumi suspiciously. “What do you want to talk about?”, he asked meekly. Leveling his gaze with the younger man, Iwaizumi replied, “You  _ know  _ what I want to talk about. I tried calling, but you don’t pick up your goddamn phone and your voicemail is full. I messaged you on facebook but it says you haven’t been active in over a week. So here I am.” Kawanishi leaned closer to his friend. “Even if he  _ was  _ answering his phone at the present time, I see no reason for him to answer for you-- of  _ all  _ people on this planet.” Iwaizumi shot Kawanishi a nasty glare. “ _ Again”,  _ he spat, his patience clearly wearing thin, “I have some things that I really need to discuss with Kageyama. Otherwise I wouldn’t  _ be  _ here. It may surprise you to hear this, but I have better things to do with my time than take the trip all the way up here from Miyagi.” 

Kageyama looked back and forth between Iwaizumi and Kawanishi before finally sighing,  _ “Fine.  _ I’m sorry, Kawanishi… Can I call you later?”. Kawanishi frowned deeply. “...Only if you promise that you’ll actually call”, he relented. After a moment he added, “Oh, and I  _ am  _ still going to rotate your laundry. You guys can go talk or whatever, but that doesn’t mean you don’t need clean sheets.” “Okay”, smiled Kageyama softly. Iwaizumi, on the other hand, rolled his eyes. “Are you  _ sure  _ this guy isn’t into you?”, he laughed. Kawanishi raised an eyebrow as he slowly started into the building. “Oh, I am”, he said severely, “Make no mistake. But I want Kageyama to be happy, and if his happiness lies with Oikawa, so be it.” “Interesting philosophy”, remarked Iwaizumi in a tone that neither of the other men could place as he followed them into the building. 

Kawanishi set off down the only staircase headed downwards, though he did encourage Kageyama to reach out if he needed anything. Kageyama, on the other hand, remained completely silent as he led the way up to his apartment. His hands were trembling as he pushed his key into the door and turned the handle, and though a piece of him was crying out inside, desperate to apologize for the state of his apartment, another louder, stronger piece of him stood resolute in the belief that the last person he should  _ ever  _ be apologizing to— about anything, so long as he lived— was Iwaizumi. He kicked off his shoes without a word and, much as he had done when Oikawa was last in his place, strode to the couch and threw himself down. Iwaizumi stood in the entryway for a moment looking around at the younger man’s apartment before shrugging, “Not bad!”. Kageyama simply rolled his eyes.

“Hey, do you have any beer or anything?”, the spiky-haired man asked, walking off towards Kageyama’s kitchen. “...Are you  _ serious?”,  _ the younger man scoffed. Iwaizumi turned back and shrugged. “What?”, he asked, “it’s after noon… and I mean, you’re dating  _ Tōru.  _ Even if it’s not beer, I know you’ve gotta have some sort of alcohol here  _ somewhere.” _ With that, the former ace turned his attention to the fridge, while Kageyama laughed incredulously, “Sure! Go ahead! Help yourself! You’ve already helped yourself to everything else that’s mine! Why  _ not _ my fridge— my apartment? Would you like my debit card too?”. The sound of a can cracking open snapped through the apartment and suddenly Kageyama could feel Iwaizumi’s eyes boring into him. “Well, well, well”, drawled the older man, stopping to take a long sip as he slowly sauntered over to the couch, “Look who grew a fuckin’ mouth.” Kageyama turned and looked Iwaizumi dead in the eye. “I don’t know how you could expect anything different”, he snarled, “When you’re basically in  _ my  _ apartment bragging about fucking  _ my  _ boyfriend. In fact, I bet that’s why you’re in Kyoto in the first place— you just left Tōru’s place and figured you’d come over here to torment me a little more.” “For your information—“, started Iwaizumi, only to be cut short by a quick rapping on Kageyama’s front door. The door clicked open and Kawanishi appeared flashing a quick bashful smile. “Hey— uh— sorry to interrupt”, he said as he maneuvered through the door, a basket full of laundry in his arms, “But someone moved your stuff into the dryer for you. I’ll just go throw this on your bed real quick and then go home— sorry again for interrupting!”. 

“Must be nice”, Iwaizumi jeered, rolling his eyes as Kawanishi disappeared into the bedroom, “Don’t think I believe for a second that you didn’t sleep with him.” “You don’t have to believe it”, frowned Kageyama, folding his arms in front of him, “ _ My  _ behavior isn’t on trial. Kawanishi is just a friend, and I’m quite fortunate to have a friend who cares about how I’m doing after having my heart broken.” It was Iwaizumi’s turn to scoff. “Oh come on”, he groaned, taking a large swig of his beer, “Don’t you think you’re being a little dramatic?”. “Dramatic?!”, exclaimed Kageyama incredulously, “I most certainly do not think I’m being  _ dramatic!  _ I walked in on my  _ boyfriend—  _ the man I  _ loved _ and was  _ planning a future  _ with— getting fucked by another man! If anything, I don’t think I’m being dramatic enough! And, like I said, I don’t doubt for a  _ second  _ that you’re only here after paying Tōru a visit in his condo—“. Iwaizumi was getting visibly flustered. “Like I was  _ trying  _ to tell you before your ‘friend’ came back— Tōru won’t see me. He has me blocked on everything— all social media, all methods of contact, and I never even  _ knew  _ his address to begin with.” Iwaizumi slowly sat down on the farthest end of the couch from Kageyama. “...he told me that, no matter what happens, he never wants to see me again.”

As Kawanishi quietly reentered the room, having made Kageyama’s bed for him and neatly folded the one outfit that was washed, the younger man turned in his seat and narrowed his eyes at Iwaizumi. “...I don’t believe you. Prove it”. Iwaizumi shot a glare at Kageyama. “I don’t have to  _ prove  _ anything to you”, he snapped, but, after a moment, he calmed down and continued, “...but… since I’m here to try to do the right thing…”. He shifted slightly in his seat and plunged his hand down the pocket of his jeans, pulling out his cell phone. He tapped it a few times and it rang out loudly-- clearly on speaker phone-- before a woman’s voice came on in an apparent automated message:  _ ‘We’re sorry, but the person you are trying to reach is not accepting calls at this time. Good-bye.’  _ The call ended. Kageyama frowned at the device. “I’m not convinced”, he said, shaking his head, “What if his phone’s just off? What if you dialed the wrong number?”. Iwaizumi offered his phone to Kageyama, who then manually inputted Oikawa’s phone number and frowned when he saw Oikawa’s name fill in beneath the number. He pressed call anyway and the same message repeated itself. Kageyama thought for a minute before leaning back on the couch and calling, “Kawanishi!”. “Yes?”, asked the auburn-haired man who had been lingering behind the couch. Kageyama jumped at how unexpectedly close his voice was and frowned at him briefly before continuing, “Can you call him?”. “I don’t have Oikawa’s number”, Kawanishi said, pulling out his own phone. Kageyama dictated the number and Kawanishi dialed it, following Iwaizumi’s lead and putting the call on speaker.

It rang once. Then again. Then a third time. Then-- “Hello???”. Oikawa, breathless, had picked up his cell. At twelve twenty in the afternoon on a Friday, when he should, by all rights, be in class. “Uh-- hey Oikawa”, Kawanishi said, a look of panic flashing across his face as he floundered trying to think of any reason at all to be calling his rival in love, “It’s Kawanishi-- I was just calling to see if you’re doing okay.” “I’m at work”, Oikawa replied, clearly annoyed, “I can’t talk. But-- uh-- thanks for the concern. I’ll-- uh-- I’ll call you  back when I have the time.” The line went dead. Kageyama felt his heart pounding in his chest; it was the first time he’d heard Oikawa’s voice in nearly a week and, much as Kawanishi had said, he sounded  _ different.  _

“Alright, well… I’m really gonna head out now”, Kawanishi said quietly as he edged to the door. “Alright, thanks man”, Kageyama nodded, still hardly able to breathe past his racing pulse. “Call me if you need anything”, Kawanishi called before shutting the door behind him. 

Iwaizumi suddenly stood and helped himself to another beer from Kageyama’s fridge-- ironically, they were the beers Kageyama had picked up on his way home the night he’d walked in on Iwaizumi and Oikawa in the hotel room, which Kageyama had entirely forgot existed until his unwelcome guest began drinking them. “So”, Iwaizumi started, “I’ve trying to decide, since Tōru told me never to speak to him again, whether I should try to ruin his life and get back at him, or whether I should just let it be, or whether I should try to do the right thing and hopefully undo some of the mess I’ve caused. And, well-- that’s why I’m here. I decided to try to do the right thing. But-- I’m going to do it on my terms. So if you want to know exactly what happened the other night and why”-- Kageyama went to interrupt Iwaizumi, but the older man continued talking over him-- “Because no matter  _ what  _ you think, you do not know the facts-- you’re going to hear  _ everything.  _ It’s your choice.”

Kageyama sat there and thought on this for a long minute. He knew that the types of things Iwaizumi was likely to reveal would be damaging to him, but how was he supposed to make any decisions about his future with Oikawa without knowing what had truly happened? It took him an understandably long time to weigh his options, and once he did his voice betrayed his misgivings, breaking slightly as he said, “Okay. Tell me what happened.” Iwaizumi admittedly looked surprised.

“I didn’t think you guys were going to show, you know”, Iwaizumi started. “I’d told Tōru all those years ago that I never wanted to see him again. After all, I felt like he’d cheated on  _ me _ with  _ you. _ ” “What?”, Kageyama asked, “But you guys were broken up…”.  _ “Barely” _ , Iwaizumi replied, “I thought we had a chance of making it work. I loved him. But then I found out he’d already moved on… And with  _ you,  _ of all people. I mean, I  _ knew  _ he’d always had complicated feelings for you, but I didn’t think he’d ever actually  _ act _ on them. I knew then that our relationship could never work long distance. It was true that I’d always wanted to go to America, and I wasn’t willing to put that dream on hold, but I hoped that maybe we could do long distance or something… seeing him with you confirmed that he didn’t have the self restraint necessary for a relationship like that. He would’ve slept with the first person who looked at him, and I would’ve been the clueless idiot staying celibate across the world. All the same, though… it hurt. And I truly never wanted to see him again. So imagine my surprise when he walked into my bachelor party, and with  _ you  _ on his arm, nonetheless.”

“Of course, it brought up all sorts of old feelings. Tōru was himself somehow, but more mature. Except the only thing he could talk about was you, which I found insulting and infuriating. It was natural for him. It wasn’t like he was just showing off or being petty. It was as if every thought in his head was you. When he and I were together, I was never his priority like that. Volleyball was Tōru’s priority. Tōru was Tōru’s priority . Not me. Or us. Maybe things would’ve been different if I felt I was ever anything more than just a tool to stroke his ego…”. Kageyama shifted uncomfortably. “But… you’re  _ engaged  _ now…”, the blue eyed man said quietly. Iwaizumi shrugged. “To be honest, I forgot all about Anna. Once you left, my goal was to get Tōru drunk. And I did it without him even noticing. It was so  _ painfully  _ easy--honestly, if you take him back, you should keep an eye on that, because it was almost  _ too  _ easy. I started uncomfortable conversations and he’d go running to the bar. I started drinking contests and his overly competitive nature pushed him to drink way too much. I subtly encouraged people to buy me rounds and, of course, he had to go flashing his wealth and buy top of the line drinks for our party and more. And we bar-hopped and did it all over again.”

Kageyama hung his head. He distinctly remembered asking Oikawa not to overdo it, but according to Iwaizumi, Oikawa hadn’t done anything to moderate his drinking. Although, as he processed his bitterness and disappointment, he felt another feeling growing in the pit of his stomach: guilt. He suddenly found himself feeling terrible for putting the man he loved in a position that Oikawa had admittedly  _ begged  _ him not to be put in. But not only did Kageyama put him in that position: he put him in that position and  _ left him.  _ And with that guilt setting in, Kageyama found himself thinking that maybe, just maybe… … ... _ No _ . No matter what the situation, Oikawa still was definitely, certainly,  _ completely _ in the wrong.

“So”, continued Iwaizumi, “Around midnight, when everyone was pretty drunk, Tōru went out for like his  _ thousandth  _ smoke of the night and I decided to make my move, since I was pretty sure he was completely trashed. And I knew I had the one thing that he wanted most: the closure he needed from 6 years ago.” “That’s fucked up”, Kageyama whispered. Again Iwaizumi shrugged. “Clearly morality wasn’t a consideration in my intentions. And really, that’s all it took. I asked if he wanted to go back to his hotel room and talk and he took the bait faster than I ever could’ve imagined.” “And no one noticed you two leave?”, Kageyama asked skeptically. Iwaizumi made a face that the younger man couldn’t quite place. “Well”, he started, “A lot of people had gone home already, and everyone else was pretty messed up. The only person who seemed to be keeping an eye on things was Sugawara.” Kageyama nodded knowingly. “That’s why I had a missed call from him…”, he whispered. “I’m not surprised”, shrugged Iwaizumi. 

“We said goodbye to everyone and left. It was almost cute to see how nervous Trashykawa was on the drive to the hotel. He didn’t say a single word in the cab or the elevator, and as soon as we got back to the hotel he started drinking like it was the end of the world. On his, like, third drink he finally came and sat on the couch and really tried to talk about some of the issues I apparently imparted him with six years ago or whatever, and I went to kiss him. And--  _ here’s the part that really pissed me off--  _ he told me to stop. He apologized if he ‘gave me the wrong impression’ or whatever, but he loves you. I kissed him anyway. He fought against it for a bit but eventually gave up. I honestly think he was too drunk to stop me-- and, yes, I know how this makes me sound, but quite frankly I didn’t care. I just needed to get what was mine back. I didn’t care what it cost. And, well, I took him to the bedroom and I played with him for a  _ long  _ time.” Kageyama felt his stomach roil. He knew when he consented to hear what Iwaizumi had to say that he’d likely be hearing the gruesome details of what transpired in the bedroom, but just because he had been expecting it didn’t mean that he was necessarily  _ prepared  _ for it. “To be honest”, continued Iwaizumi, “Tōru’s the only man I could ever be with. And since I knew this was going to be the last time I’d ever be with him, I made sure to make the most of it. I just-- I had no idea that you were coming back. And your timing was quite unfortunate. I’m sure you would’ve had an easier time coping with me sucking him off while he was half-conscious than seeing him get fucked like you did.” “Yeah, thanks”, Kageyama muttered. 

“But that’s not all you need to know”, Iwaizumi said, breathing in deeply then exhaling slowly through his nose. Kageyama shook his head, feeling tears start to well up. “I don’t know how much more I can handle”, the blue-eyed man started. Iwaizumi shook his head. “No… this is the part that really sucks for me. Because, I guess, this is the part that really confirms that it’s over for me. As soon as you left, it was as if Tōru was brought immediately back to reality. He sobered up instantly and ran after you, completely naked, into the hall. I think he would’ve followed you to the street if I hadn’t grabbed him and physically carried him back to the hotel room. It turns out that the picture frame you dropped shattered, and he ran over the glass and tracked blood everywhere. We talked a lot while I picked the glass out of his feet. ...I guess he got his conversation after all. And while we talked he called you quite a few times.” “I saw”, Kageyama remarked, glancing back to the counter where his phone still sat, untouched from when he set it there when he initially got home nearly a week prior. “Have you listened to his messages?”, Iwaizumi asked curiously. Kageyama shook his head. “You should. They might show you something about about his true feelings too. But-- I’m in no position to be giving you advice. Anyway. We’d just left the bathroom and he was crying over the things you left on the floor when there was a knock on the door. It turns out you’d ordered champagne to the room?”. Kageyama cracked a smile for the first time since he saw Iwaizumi’s face that day; he’d completely and totally forgotten about his special room service request and could only imagine how it helped to really rub in Oikawa’s mistake. “When he came back from accepting the delivery”, Iwaizumi continued, “He suddenly said that he needed to go home. He somehow knew that that’s where you went. He packed his stuff, we said goodbye-- no hidden meaning there, we literally said goodbye-- and he left.”

“He’d just missed the last train to Kyoto-- the train I’m guessing you caught. So he took a taxi to Tochigi and then caught the first train of the morning to Kyoto.” “That must’ve cost a fortune”, frowned Kageyama, “Why didn’t he just wait until the trains started running again?”. “That’s what I said”, nodded Iwaizumi, “but he couldn’t just sit around knowing you were headed out of his life. I called him on Sunday afternoon to see how things had gone with you, and he told me it didn’t go well. He said you’d told him that you’d let him know if and when you were ready to see him again. But he told me regardless that, even though we’d had some pretty meaningful conversations in the hotel, he never wanted to see or speak to me again. He wished me luck in my future, but at the same time he also wished I’d drop dead. He told me that he was going to block me on everything, and that if he saw me on the street he’d pretend he had no idea who I was. I asked why he was doing this, since he wasn’t even sure that you were gonna take him back, and he basically said he’s allowed me to ruin his life for the last time, and that even though part of him  _ was  _ doing it for you, most of him was doing it for himself. He said a part of him would always love me, he said a part of him would always hate me, and then he said goodbye. I tried calling him back but he’d already blocked me. He blocked me on all social media, just as he promised. He even blocked my e-mail address.”

Kageyama screwed his face. “So… I have to ask, then… If Tōru cut you out of his life… Why are you  _ here?  _ I mean… you have nothing to gain from this, right? _ ”.  _ Iwaizumi frowned. “Well, like I said. I was really conflicted about whether I should try to fuck him over for shutting me out like that, or whether I should try to do the right thing after I inadvertently ruined his life, or whether I should leave it alone and go back to America like nothing ever happened. I spent the last couple of days thinking hard about it and decided to try to make things right if I can. I… I was really naiive. I thought that what Tōru and I had was as special to him as it was to me. I didn’t realize that I wasn’t, y’know,  _ the only man  _ for him or whatever. I didn’t realize that he was actually, truly in love with you, and that my actions were sincerely ruining his life. If I had, I don’t think I would have pursued him, no matter how badly I wanted him one more time. I’ve  _ never  _ seen him in that kind of agony. Not when we lost to Shiritorizawa for the third time, or when we lost to you guys. Not when I told him I was moving to America. Not when we broke up. I honestly didn’t know he could feel so deeply. So I’m here to try to make amends, both to you and to Tōru. I am…  _ deeply  _ remorseful. Tōru has removed me from his life forever. I go back to America tomorrow night, and instead of spending the time with my family or my friends, I’m here  _ begging  _ you to consider forgiving him. It wasn’t his fault. I did truly take advantage of him, and I’m lucky he’s not going to the police about it.”

Kageyama shook his head and chuckled to himself. He looked up at Iwaizumi, leveling his gaze with the older man, and asked, “...And what if I was to reach out to your fiancee, and tell her about what you did?”. A dangerous look flashed through Iwaizumi’s eyes, though the older man forced a smile himself and said, “I’m sorry to say that I don’t think she’d believe you. You’re a total stranger from across the world. I’ve never given her any indication that I might be into guys-- because I’m not. Just Tōru. And, being perfectly honest, I will lie my ass off to her and deny it until the day I die. So, I mean, if it’ll help you sleep at night, you can try, but I don’t think you’ll get very far.”

Iwaizumi suddenly stood up from the couch and looked down on Kageyama. “Well, Kageyama, that’s all I had to tell you, so if you don’t have any other questions, I think I’ll show myself out.” “Actually”, started Kageyama, standing up himself, “...if Tōru shut you out, how did you find out where I live?”. Iwaizumi smiled a genuine smile. “That’s a good question, actually, and yet another plan of mine that was almost ruined by Sugawara Kōshi. I wound up calling Daichi and asked for their address  _ and  _ your address. I said it was for thank you cards. Sugawara, however, hesitated and said that you were very private, and he wasn’t sure if they should give out your address. Daichi figured it couldn’t hurt and gave it to me anyway, since I’m leaving the country in a few days. When he hung up I heard Sugawara start yelling at him, so at least you have someone in your corner.” This thought actually brought Kageyama some comfort as he made a mental note to call his former senpai and thank him for everything.

“Well”, Iwaizumi started, this time heading towards the door, “Thank you for seeing me. I don’t know if it helped you or hurt you, but either way it did help ease my conscience a little bit.” “Great”, Kageyama said, rolling his eyes, “Just what I wanted. To help my boyfriend’s mistress  _ ease his conscience.”  _ “Point taken”, nodded Iwaizumi. He turned the doorknob to Kageyama’s apartment before turning around and looking at the blue-eyed man. “Listen. I know I’ve said this before, but… good luck, Kageyama. Only, this time, I hope our paths never cross again. Take care of yourself, okay?”. As he stepped out of the door, he turned around once more and added, “Oh, and, if I were you I’d listen to those voice messages. Alright, see ya.”

Kageyama turned around and stared at his phone resting on the counter. He felt a little intimidated as he picked it up and saw just how many missed messages he had waiting for him. And as he sat on the couch and pressed play on the first message, bringing his phone up to his ear, he finally had the breakdown he’d been holding off for so long, as he heard the man he loved sob,  __ “T- T- Tobio… P- please come back…”  
  



	30. The Decision

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama has reached a decision about the future of his relationship with Oikawa.

Oikawa Tōru had been through absolute hell in the last week and had made no effort to hide it-- he simply didn’t have the energy. He felt as if he were a zombie, dead but still somehow on his feet and moving. Things had gotten so bad that, over the course of the school week, both his vice principal and principal separately approached him and offered to let him take paid time off if he needed it-- offers that he was forced to decline, due to the promises he’d made to Kageyama when he swore he’d do whatever it took to win the man he loved back.

Oikawa had promised, in no uncertain terms, that he would continue functioning in society. He would go to work and go to therapy. In fact, he upped his therapy to three sessions a week, feeling that there must’ve been some deep, disturbed reason as to why he actually believed that Iwaizumi was interested in a conversation with him after all these years. As for work, however… he showed up. He taught his students. But he couldn’t force himself to do any more than the absolute bare minimum. His energy level was at rock bottom. He moved slower. He felt like he was teaching less. His students still adored him, so it wasn’t like they were trying to take advantage of his mental absence, but he still felt as if he were doing them a grave injustice by barely doing anything more than reading to them directly from the textbook. Even then, though, that was by far the most effort he had in him. He didn’t have the energy to do his hair in the morning, or to iron his clothes. He barely had the energy to get dressed or brush his teeth. He couldn’t hold food down or sleep and had deep bags underneath his eyes.

Everyone around him noticed the change in his demeanor and it was obvious. Those who didn’t openly confront him and ask what was going on greeted him with half-smiles and eyes filled with pity. It made him feel inhuman. He understood completely why Kageyama moved as far away from Miyagi as he did after his accident.

It was just after 3:30 on a Friday afternoon when Oikawa was finally packing up his bag and getting ready to go home for the day. He frowned as he checked his phone and saw, as usual, that he had no missed calls or messages. He flipped through the stack of tests on his desk, making sure that he had all nineteen papers he needed to grade over the weekend before carefully tucking them into the middle compartment of his bag. He was just logging out of his laptop, getting ready to stow it away as well when a sudden knock on the door jarred him from his thoughts. He thought for a moment about pretending not to be in, dreading the thought of yet another coworker coming in to try to pry about the cause of his clear distress, but he found himself calling out, “Come in”, against his better judgement.

The door opened and his heart stopped.

There, in the doorway, stood Kageyama.

He slowly stood from his chair, unsure if what he was seeing was real, or if he’d finally lost his mind. “...Tobio?”, he finally asked, his voice small and frail. “Uh… hey”, Kageyama replied awkwardly, stepping in and allowing the door to shut behind him, “Do you have a minute to talk?”. “I have forever to talk!”, Oikawa blurted out. Kageyama smiled then stepped closer. His smile quickly faded as he really looked upon the man he loved, though this time he withheld his comments on the matter. Oikawa, however simpered and said, “I know-- I look like shit.” “Oikawa”, Kageyama started, frowning deeply, “I--”. “No”, laughed the older man, sitting on the edge of his desk, “I’ve probably had at least twenty different people tell me how terrible I look over the last week. I’ll admit that no one has said it _quite_ as-- er-- _poignantly_ as you did, but I guess no one else had quite the reason to be as blunt as you did. But-- don’t you worry about it-- I’ve heard from many different people about just how terrible I look.” “But you’re still here”, Kageyama smiled softly, taking another step closer. Oikawa nodded, “I promised I would be”.

“So um”, the younger man started, “I’m just going to cut to the chase here. It’s been a long enough six days as it is.” Oikawa nodded wordlessly, what little color remained in his face quickly draining. “Today I received two visitors”, Kageyama continued, moving to seat himself in the nearest student’s desk to Oikawa’s, “The first of whom was Kawanishi.” Oikawa immediately averted his eyes, seemingly in shame. “...He told me that he ran into you last night and took you out to dinner. He told me you look so terrible that even _he_ feels bad for you. And he asked me to make a decision, regardless of what it is, for both your sake and mine, because it seems like we’re both suffering.” Oikawa bit his lip and nodded. “It was good advice”, Kageyama shrugged, interlacing his fingers and leaning forward, “...even if it wasn’t what I was ready to hear yet.” Oikawa raised a questioning eyebrow, but still no words from the older man.

Kageyama pressed on. “But it was really my second visitor that made me realize that I needed to make a decision, and that no amount of time was going to change what happened.” “W- who was that?”, Oikawa choked out, voice shaking. Looking Oikawa directly in the eye, Kageyama said, “...Iwaizumi.”

Oikawa stumbled from where he stood half-propped up on his desk, falling into his chair. He buried his face in his hands and began sobbing silently, the only sounds escaping being his sharp inhalations. Kageyama stood and approached Oikawa, taking the older man’s former seat against his desk.

“Iwaizumi told me _everything_ that happened. He told me how he got you drunk on purpose, whether you realized it or not. He told me how he preyed on you, getting you to go back to the hotel room by offering you the one thing he knew you wanted when he knew you were completely trashed. He told me that you turned him down-- that you told him you were in love with me-- and that he forced himself on you anyway, because you were too drunk to fight him off.” Occasional sobs were now escaping Oikawa’s throat as Kageyama continued explaining his conversation with Iwaizumi. “He told me that you basically lost your mind when I left, that you hurt yourself and were still trying to go after me. He explained some of the hang ups your break up left him with. And, on his way out, he encouraged me to listen to all of your voicemails, which I still hadn’t listened to. Obviously this is a serious summary of events, but-- well-- after everything that’s happened today, I’ve made my decision.”

Oikawa finally looked up, his face flushed, tears streaming from his eyes. “Tobio, I--”, he cried desperately, his eyes filled with panic and hunger and sheer, true agony, but Kageyama began speaking over him. “Tōru”, Kageyama said, his own eyes filling with tears, “You have no idea how much you hurt me. You might think you do, but you don’t. There are no words to describe just how painful it is to think about what happened, but at the same time it’s literally all I can think about. ...But, if I’m being honest with both of us... I think the only thing that’ll hurt me worse than you cheating on me… is losing you to all of this. I think I understand the situation. And I’m going to choose to believe that you were blackout drunk and were taken advantage of, if not like, outright raped. His wording was fuzzy at best. ...It’s going to be a _long_ time before I can trust you again, and I swear to God, if anything else like this ever happens, I don’t care how bad it hurts, I will leave your ass so fast you’ll get whiplash. But as it stands right now… I mean, god Tōru, I can’t live without you.”

It took Oikawa a few seconds to process the words Kageyama had just spoken; _had Kageyama really just agreed to take him back?_ It was only once the younger man reached out to wipe the tears off of Oikawa’s face that the brunette jumped up and threw his arms around the man he loved so desperately. “Tobio!”, he sobbed into Kageyama’s neck, as Kageyama wrapped his arms around Oikawa, “Oh, God, Tobio-- I thought I lost you!”. Oikawa sobbed openly, while Kageyama’s tears were much more quiet as the two men clung to one another as if their lives depended on it.

 _“Hey”,_ Kageyama whispered after nearly forty five minutes of the two men just holding each other in Oikawa’s classroom and crying, during which they sank to the floor and just sat with their arms and legs intertwined. Oikawa simply replied by nuzzling his face deeper into Kageyama’s neck. _“Let’s go get some food. Anywhere you want-- your choice-- my treat.”_ Oikawa mumbled something into Kageyama’s skin, and the younger man sighed in response, “I can’t hear you.” Finally the brunette sat up and shyly smiled, “Let’s get take out and go back to your place.” Rolling his eyes, Kageyama laughed, “I should’ve seen that coming!”.

Oikawa was intensely grateful that the couple didn’t run into any of the brunette’s coworkers as they left the school; if he looked terrible _before_ Kageyama showed up, he couldn’t fathom how he looked after nearly an hour of crying. The couple stayed very close together, holding hands as they walked to and from the restaurant, though they spoke very little; they hadn’t discussed it, but each man worried that any conversation that they could hold could _easily_ lead to more tears.

It was only once they were safely back inside Kageyama’s apartment, well into their dinner of tempura shrimp and vegetables with a side of noodles, that they resumed conversation.

“What I don’t understand”, frowned Oikawa, “is why he did it in the first place. He didn’t have anything to gain. I blocked him on literally everything and told him I want nothing to do with him ever again. It’s not like he’s gonna get some kind of _reward_ for this or anything…”. Kageyama shrugged, “He said that he was ‘trying to do the right thing’. He apparently felt bad for ‘ruining your life’ or whatever. I don’t know. You said his story’s pretty accurate, so I guess, in the end, his motivation doesn’t _really_ matter.” “But it _does_ ”, frowned Oikawa, “What if he’s… I dunno, _up to something?”._ Kageyama shrugged again. “Again, I don’t think it really matters. He’s going back to America tomorrow, so anything that happens will be long distance. And if he leaves any sort of physical trail it’ll only be to my benefit, as I threatened to tell his fiancee.” Oikawa raised an eyebrow. “You did _what?”,_ he smirked. Kageyama grinned into his noodles. “The piece of shit said she wouldn’t believe me-- and I mean, why would she, if she never had any reason to suspect that he’s gay-- and he said he’d lie through his teeth to her, but I’m still thinking about it.” “You should go for it. I’d help”, Oikawa nodded.

“Hey”, Kageyama said as he chewed over a piece of shrimp, “Speaking of ‘why did so-and-so do that'… Why did you let Kawanishi take you out to dinner last night?”. Oikawa frowned. “I could tell you that he didn’t give me much of a choice”, he started sadly, “And it would be true… but that wouldn’t be the whole truth. The whole truth is that, when you’re _that_ low… you’ll take literally _any_ friendly face. Kawanishi was the first person who didn’t give a shit _why_ I was the way I was-- I mean, I guess partially because he _knew_ why already-- but wanted to help me try to feel better, and to give me a shoulder to cry on. I guess I can see why you like him so much.”

Kageyama nodded. “He’s a good man. He came today to check on me. I didn’t get off the couch for a week basically and he physically threw me in the shower-- with my clothes still on-- and cleaned the apartment for me. Believe it or not, this place did _not_ look like this when he got here this morning.” “I believe it”, Oikawa laughed. “He cares”, Kageyama said thoughtfully, “He made it clear that he still likes me, but he also made it clear that he would be completely supportive if we got back together.” Oikawa thought on this as he slowly chewed over his food. After he swallowed, he smiled softly and said, “If we ever break up, I _do_ think you should give him a chance. Like you said, he’s a good guy. I guess I can’t begrudge someone who obviously cares about you so much.”

“‘Break up’?”, Kageyama repeated incredulously, causing a look of panic to cross Oikawa’s face, _“Excuse me?_ No. You’re in this for life now. After everything you’ve put me through, you’re stuck with me, whether you like it or not.” The look of panic quickly broke out into a massive grin as the older man realized that Kageyama was only pretending to chastise him. “Well, if you insist…”, Oikawa mumbled. “Actually”, started Tobio, his own smile fading as he furrowed his brow, “This may be the stupidest decision I’ve ever made, given everything that’s just happened, but”-- Kageyama took in a deep breath, exhaling through his nose before speaking again-- “I think we should move in together.” “You-- _wha?”_ , asked Oikawa, clearly dumbfounded. “Well”, shrugged Kageyama, feeling a deep flush creeping up his neck, “I mean-- how _else_ am I supposed to keep an eye on you to make sure you’re not doing the things you’re not supposed to? And, like I said, we’re either going to be together forever, so this is just an early step in the right direction, or something _else_ is gonna happen and I’m gonna be gone. And if I leave, I’m not going to stay in Kyoto. I’ll figure something else out. But I mean, if you don’t want to move in together, we don’t have to, I can just--”

Kageyama’s anxious ramble was interrupted when Oikawa lunged across the table and pressed his lips to Kageyama’s for the first time since they’d been separated. And as their kisses mounted in passion and they quickly found their way to the bedroom, the older man’s usually sultry and explicit bedroom talk was instead filled with love and passion. “Please move in with me”, Oikawa begged as he pulled off Kageyama’s shirt, “Or”, he breathed, pressing his lips to the younger man’s neck, “We can sell the condo and buy a new one-- or a house-- just, _please,_ pack your stuff and move in.” “Mmm, Tōru”, Kageyama moaned as the older man sucked on his skin, making his way up to his ear.

 _“I promise”,_ Oikawa whispered, once his lips arrived at their destination, _“I’ll take care of you. I’ll make sure that nothing ever comes between us again.”_

Oikawa pulled back and Kageyama could see that tears had formed in his copper eyes once more. “I love you, Tobio”, Oikawa said, a sob escaping as he suspended himself over the dark-haired man, “I truly, truly do.” “I love _you,_ Tōru”, grinned Kageyama, leaning up to take the older man’s lips in his once more, “And I couldn’t live without you. Promise that you’ll stay with me forever.”

Oikawa wiped a tear that had leaked from one of his eyes and laughed, “How can I say no?”.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it! It's over! I hope the ending was satisfactory to everyone :) And of course, now that it's over, you can feel free to judge it all you want lol. (For those not in the loop: With each fic I write, when I finally finish it, one of my 'rituals' is going through and deleting the personal chapter notes I left at the end of each chapter. Things that are relevant or important [ie: dedications] are left, but things like "sorry I'm late this week, I had x, y, and z going on" get deleted, because I don't think those sorts of things need to remain on record. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ **However**. There was a point in time [right around Chapter 22] when people started getting particularly unhappy with the direction of this fic, and I asked that readers reserved their judgement until the end, as I was the only one who truly knew the direction the fic was taking. I knew Oikawa and Kageyama were gonna end up together! I'm a sap and can only write "happy" endings! [I say happy in quotation marks because I mean, there's no denying that both of these boys **suffered** , but in the end they're together, and that's all that matters! <3])
> 
> I just want to thank the OiKage fandom for having me! I know that this fic has been nothing if not controversial, but I truly enjoyed writing it, and I know that there were many that have enjoyed reading it, too. I apologize to anyone that I may have upset or offended with this work, but I do hope that the number of people who fall into that category is at a minimum :) This was a really interesting experience for me, as it was the first time I've ever (A) written in such a popular ship (B) written such controversial material and (C) so unpleasantly characterized a very popular character, so I totally get the negative feedback I got. OiKage is a very valid and wonderful ship, and I'm glad I got to explore it, even if it was in such a dramatic manner.
> 
> As for me, I'll be finishing up my TsukiHina, and then I'm going to start my long awaited (but fairly short) KuroKen. After that I have a DaiSuga planned that is _completely_ out of my wheelhouse (like, fantasy AU kind of deal), but I'm very excited about it!
> 
> Once again, I'm very grateful to all my readers and supporters. You are all excellent and I love you very much :)


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